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| When do you go from divorced to being single again?
Posted: 12/6/2005 10:26:03 PM | You are single the moment you realize that you do not owe anybody an explantion for your actions. It is all in your situation. If you have to be legal to be single then wait but the moment that person is out of your life then technically you are single. It is like common law really isn't married but technically in a separation you are.
It is when you feel ready that's it plain and simple.
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mibra
| | Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 31 | |
| When do you go from divorced to being single again?
Posted: 9/20/2008 2:59:06 PM | He called me and told me he decided to leave me.
I said: oh I see... Would you please tell me why?
He said: my love and cares for you is negative now.
Then I asked carefully: Are you sure this time? Do you need more time to think of it? If you said NO, there would be no way to return.
He said: No. My decision is made.
I said: OK. Then we can move on now....
Then I felt being single again lol .... | |
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| When do you go from divorced to being single again?
Posted: 9/20/2008 4:08:09 PM | I agree with the majority of the posts!! You are single when you feel single!
I have been married before - it took a long time to come to the point of feeling single when I got the divorced (I had been married for 9 years) .....but I think your heart becomes hardened after that and if you ever get into a marriage and it ends - you are able to let go easier. It also depends on why the marriage ended and if you have children associated with the marriage. My first marriage was because he cheated but I had been raised that marriage was for life - I had a daughter by him - and even though he did what he did - I was willing to try and work it out.....stupid me....but that is how I felt at the time.
My second marriage ended because our bank account suddenly turned up empty and I had a business to run. I had actually felt single since our fifth year together - all my friends kept telling me to file for divorce long before I did - and again the marriage officially ended in our ninth year.
I have had relationships that ended badly but I was able to bounce back faster because of the experiences I have had.
I have been separated for 8 months and even though this marriage did not last very long - he lost his job just two days before the wedding (December) and during the short time we were together - told me he would not look for a another job until May or June and revealed his ugly nature - I discovered through my research that he was bi-polar and not on medication - not admitting he needed help - even though his daughters both confessed they should have told me of his problem and didn't - he became abusive. Because of the way it ended I have felt single since the day I asked him to leave. I am very lucky he has left me alone and I have not heard from him since!!
So yes single is a state of mind - not the paper - because I will probably not be able to financially get a divorced for a while - lawyers cost too much!! LOL!! No offense to some of our posters!! | |
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| When do you go from divorced to being single again?
Posted: 9/20/2008 4:18:16 PM |
OK all when can you claim to be single after the divorce? How long do you have to wait if you can go back to the single status?
For most, it's a distinction without a difference. For some, though, on a religious basis, it does make a differece. In any case, I've been divorced 8 1/2 years, and have no intention of changing it to "single". | |
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| When do you go from divorced to being single again?
Posted: 9/20/2008 4:25:26 PM | Here is my wondering on that.
I am divorced. I filed 2 years ago, court April 07, final November 07. Isn't putting "single" on there a bit dishonest? I mean if someone excludes divorcees from their search, starts talking to me, then finds out I am divorced.
I don't have kids with the ex, but am paying alimony and will be paying a good chunk of my military retirement to her as well.
I'm not sure where to put the line, if you know what I mean. | |
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| When do you go from divorced to being single again?
Posted: 9/20/2008 4:36:54 PM | | I hadn't thought about that. I'm divorced - it happened - it's part of my history. But, I consider myself single, and did from the moment the papers were served. Though, I didn't put myself out there for almost a year after the divorce was final. When you no longer have a relationship with your spouse, it sure doesn't feel "married." But, I guess in the legal sense, it is. And every situation is so different -- for some, until the divorce is final, they are still negociating and may even be reconsidering a new start. I just thought it would be good for me to absorb singleness for a while before bringing new people in my life. .. try to put some baggage on a back shelf...And on top of that, I had no idea how to start a social life. | |
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sbnt
| | Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 39 | |
| When do you go from divorced to being single again?
Posted: 9/20/2008 6:05:27 PM | The answer to this question is dependent upon the context by which it is being referred to.
Technically, once you have the papers signed and the courts/government no longer considers you married, you are single. The reasons for this is that there are different tax rules for married and unmarried people.
When it comes to dating though, single has a whole other meaning. You could have the papers signed, but if your life still revolves around "that damn ex", you're not truly single. In the dating realm, you should only let go of the divorced label and claim the "single" status when you no longer carry around the baggage from the ex-spouse.
There are people who don't want to date someone who has been married and now divorced because they don't want to deal with the baggage that such past marriage may have brought. They want a fresh slate to work with, and really who doesn't. Who wants to be yelled at because something you do (even if completely innocent and harmless) triggers some emotional or physical reaction from the person you are with.
Single to me means that you come with no baggage...
Now all we need is a label for those who aren't involved in a relationship, but have the "marriage baggage" of broken relationships they are still carrying around. Maybe "Un-single". | |
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| When do you go from divorced to being single again?
Posted: 9/20/2008 7:54:32 PM | | As soon as your X signs the paper! Obviously, the marriage was already over long before the divorce commenced. On with your life! Don't look back, don't wallow in misery! You deserve to be happy! | |
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| When do you go from divorced to being single again?
Posted: 9/21/2008 6:58:08 AM | Legally, when you recieve the journalized papers.
Emotionally - everyone's different and when they feel that way is a personal decision.
Myself, I wasn't single until I was completely divorced and I didn't get the divorce until I felt being married wasn't healthy for me to stay.
Although it took me some months after receiving the papers to decide that I was single enough to seek the dating scene again. | |
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| When do you go from divorced to being single again?
Posted: 9/21/2008 7:07:21 AM | I think if you are divorced this does need to be remarked on a profile. If you have never been married then it would be single.
To me it just makes sense it is all about the progression of life to me. People tend to move through stages in their life. If you were married then divorced this should be commented on.
~Charmed~ | |
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| When do you go from divorced to being single again?
Posted: 9/21/2008 7:16:12 AM | The very hour the judge pronounced me single again(900am)I walked out of the courtroom and was congratulated by my friends at my divorce party the very same evening.What a relief! | |
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| When do you go from divorced to being single again?
Posted: 9/21/2008 7:25:00 AM | | Not everyone feels the same after a divorce it all depends on the circumstances and the whole picutre, was it a friendly divorce where both parties agreed to it, if so , then soon as your comfortable with the being single again thing is ok, if your the one hurt no its not ok, every person needs time to heal , to get past the hurt stage because if you dont anyone you become involved in is just gona get hurt and you go right back to stage one of where you been tryin to get past, if your the one that wanted the divorce then you were ready for the single stage before you even became single, lots of things measure into the whole thing, look at each one. | |
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| When do you go from divorced to being single again?
Posted: 9/21/2008 7:34:29 AM |
The very hour the judge pronounced me single again The judge does not "pronounce you single." He/she does deem you divorced/unmarried. Just like at trial >>>> not guilty is not equivalent to innocent ... divorced may mean unmarried, but is not the same as single. Be careful what you put on job applications. People have been fired for smaller "lies" than that! 
An annulment is the only legal way to eradicate a past marriage. Or murder, since you would be a widow/er!! 
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