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| When do you go from divorced to being single again?
Posted: 9/21/2008 7:34:29 AM |
The very hour the judge pronounced me single again The judge does not "pronounce you single." He/she does deem you divorced/unmarried. Just like at trial >>>> not guilty is not equivalent to innocent ... divorced may mean unmarried, but is not the same as single. Be careful what you put on job applications. People have been fired for smaller "lies" than that! 
An annulment is the only legal way to eradicate a past marriage. Or murder, since you would be a widow/er!! 
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| When do you go from divorced to being single again?
Posted: 9/21/2008 8:46:08 AM | Well Iguess down here we use that kind of slang among friend.sorry if it made you upset.had to put some humour in it............
I am a gov. worker and do know the code "true and lie"Thanks! | |
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| When do you go from divorced to being single again?
Posted: 9/21/2008 8:59:58 AM |
married= legal contract
single = unmarried
separated= married
divorced= legal dissolution of marriage
If you look up "single" in the dictionary, it simply defines it at "not married". Since the definition of single does NOT stipulate that you've NEVER BEEN married, then someone who is divorced is also single. Using the term "divorced" just gives more detail of your situation. | |
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| When do you go from divorced to being single again?
Posted: 9/21/2008 10:00:04 AM |
Once married you are never single again, only divorced. Embrace it.
You can't change the meaning of the word "single" just because you don't agree with it.
Single does NOT mean "never married", it means "not married". Plain and simple. | |
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| When do you go from divorced to being single again?
Posted: 9/21/2008 11:16:14 AM | To me it does not matter how a dictionary defines the word single...
divorced is divorced and is it an alltogether different word. I will never be
"single" again but, I hope to be divorced eventually. | |
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| When do you go from divorced to being single again?
Posted: 9/21/2008 11:28:58 AM | ~OT~ What about annulments? You were legally married ~ then you weren't. In the eyes of the law (since some think that is what determines your current "status") what should one do? Write a discertation in their profile stating something such as: "Well, back in 1987 I married this wonderful man only to find out he was _________ (insert his faults here), so, I hired a kick-azz attorney and the Judge deemed that I was never really married." 
Seriously ~ it's all just symantecs. I'm single. When I was legally married he thought he was single ~ I now get the same privilege!!  Realistically speaking, once you know someone to a degree ~ you'll likely be disclosing information such as if you were previously married, child situation, how long it takes you to put on your make-up, etc., basically the important stuff. I see no need to include my most private information in a profile on the net. That information is for those I choose to allow into my private life. To each their own ~ I don't owe the www an explanation for my current "status" of choice.  | |
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| When do you go from divorced to being single again?
Posted: 9/21/2008 11:32:11 AM | I was divorced for about 6 months, that was 20 years ago. Since then I've been single .. ok .. yes I have had a Few short term relationships, even lived with one for a few months, that was when I was "living with someone" - not single, not available - living with. If I had a b/f I would consider myself "in a relationship" ergo - not single, not available. Separated is another 'category' that some get their nose out of joint over, again (IMO) it matters only how long they've been separated and that they are Truelly available (ie: free of emotional baggage). Still, I wouldn't call that person "single" until they've actually been "Free" / Divorced for a period of time that is likely dependent on the individual and their situation - ie whether or not there are children involved.
What if a person had Never married but had lived with a partner for 20 years and then they broke up? Most would say He/She's single (again).
I am a single woman. I have no partner, no separation in the works, no person or persons who have a stake in my heart ... yet! lol
Maybe it's just me, but unless there are children or other reasons for maintaining some sort of "attachment", then as far as I'm concerned if you aren't IN a relationship - you're single. If 'it' just ended friday nite, you're not "single" enough (yet)!
JMHO! I also think we have too many words in the english language and as a result things have gottten complicated to the point that we don't know if we're talking kites or d1cks! lololol
K.I.S.S.
A.S.is
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| When do you go from divorced to being single again?
Posted: 9/21/2008 11:35:37 AM |
Seriously ~ it's all just symantecs.
Agreed. Divorced vs Single isn't a huge deal to me. I prefer "divorced" because that's what I am, but if someone else who is "divorced" now wants to be considered "single" so be it.
I don't have a problem with Divorced VS Single. I do have a problem those who are Separated and listing themselves as "divorced" (They are not) or "single" (They are not). | |
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| When do you go from divorced to being single again?
Posted: 9/21/2008 11:43:52 AM |
Seriously ~ it's all just symantecs.
I'll agree with that, too.
I was in a 12 year marriage. We were together a total of 14 years. Had a child together. She ended up cheating on me, and wanted my son and I to move out. Lots of emotions, lots of drama, blah blah blah.
However, let's say we had NOT gotten married, but had lived our lives the same way? All of those emotions and drama STILL would have been present. The only difference is that I had to pay $3,000 to legally end the relationship. Right after we separated, if I had put a personal ad up somewhere, and we had NOT been married, I still would have had all that sh!t that I was going through.
I have a friend who's been with a woman for 12 years. They have lived together for almost the entire 12 years, have two children together, and they are MISERABLE. Oh, and they are NOT married. So again, what's the difference?
Me, I take marriage very seriously. But unless BOTH people take it that seriously, the marriage license isn't worth any more than the paper it's printed on. It's not the marriage that affects you after the divorce, it's the relationship and all that happened when it ended. And that could happen to anyone coming out of a long-term relationship. Heck, I've got more emotional "baggage" from the last LTR I was in than I do my marriage, and I was only with her for just under 2 years. | |
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| When do you go from divorced to being single again?
Posted: 9/21/2008 11:47:06 AM | his s**t in a hefty bag on the lawn
Locks changed
His smell out of your house
To add to the post re: the word "separated"
I am cool with the word "separated"
I have a problem with the word "attached : Why do I see those claiming to be on internet dating site ..looking?
Looking for what? Someone else to attach yourself too?
Don't leeches do that? Don't bottom feeders do that ?
Or those little birds on a hippos back ?
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| When do you go from divorced to being single again?
Posted: 9/21/2008 12:39:39 PM |
When do you go from divorced to being single again?
Technically... You don't. I'd say you're both at the same time. Once divorced, you're always divorced. Right? You're only "just single", if you've never been married. Not that it really matters to most people.
Once the papers are signed, you're free to do as you wish. Most people don't wait nearly that long though. One partner or the other will probably have someone new before all their stuff is packed . | |
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| When do you go from divorced to being single again?
Posted: 9/21/2008 12:47:06 PM | | To me, single means just that, not divorced, not widowed, but single as in never married. If you are divorced, you are divorced (having been married one or more times) which is quite different from single. You may be a single person living alone but you are still divorced, which is an important thing to let people know in your profile. When someone puts "single", I cannot tell if they have been married, are married or never married. If they put single, I go to the (do you have children section) and if they state all their children are over 18 or yes, then I assume that they have either been married and are divorced or have children through common law unions. Just be honest. If you are divorced put divorced and it is always good to tell how many times one has been divorced. | |
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| When do you go from divorced to being single again?
Posted: 9/21/2008 3:15:58 PM |
OK all when can you claim to be single after the divorce? How long do you have to wait if you can go back to the single status?
Is there a law or a rule? Quite frankly, I've had a few experiences where someones claim of the definition of "divorce" and "single" do not necessarily follow that of state law:
"When in doubt, ask for papers."
I'm divorced- and I am single. While I have talked to my former spouse since the divorce, we have no financial- or any- obligation to each other any longer. I was single the day my divorce was documented, notarized as a legal document and handed to me. I can move on freely. "I'm as single as I ever was" now as I was before I signed that paper saying "I do." | |
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| When do you go from divorced to being single again?
Posted: 9/21/2008 3:22:34 PM | After reading many of the responses, I think it is clear that the current norms are based on a secular definition of marriage/divorce. Just 30-50 years ago, it was VERY important as to whether you had been married, since many churches did/do not recognize divorce. Interestingly, some forms and applications now specify "Married," "Divorced," "Widowed," or "Never Married." Kind of narrows it down.  | |
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| When do you go from divorced to being single again?
Posted: 9/21/2008 5:02:29 PM | Very tricky question. When I bought a house I was divorced. The formal procedure will be in 2 weeks. I will not be single again for years. Probally when my kids are grown. Till then I am divorced.
I don't care what you call it. Single or divorced, it is better than married to a jerk.
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| When do you go from divorced to being single again?
Posted: 9/21/2008 6:29:56 PM | Just an additional thought on this topic. It gives me pause, when I'm considering someone who is 30+ and says "single". My assumption is that she's never been married, and doesn't have children. If it later turns out that she has children, and "issues" with her "ex", I feel slightly deceived.
It's not that it's a bad thing, if a woman has the normal complexities common for a divorced person. I just want to have my head on straight about that from the start, not have it come as a surprise, after we've been talking for awhile.
Simple fact is, total honesty in a profile is important to me. There is a category for "divorced", and if it fits you, it's what you should choose. It's like, there's a category for body type of a "few extra pounds", and if it fits, it's what you should choose, not "athletic", because you go to "Curves" once in awhile. | |
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| When do you go from divorced to being single again?
Posted: 9/21/2008 6:54:03 PM | I've been divorced 23 years... I also have two grown children... I'm not going to put my status as single only to explain yes I WAS married now divorced but feel single... to much explaining... makes my head rattled thinking about it... but you all go ahead... I'll cut to the chase and claim divorced... then they know without a doubt I'm single...
There are many marrieds who are separated feeling single around here too... and people wonder why it's so difficult.... | |
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| When do you go from divorced to being single again?
Posted: 9/21/2008 8:37:42 PM | I've been officially divorced since March 2008. How long it takes to fel single is an individual thing. Some are mentally checked out long before they actually divorce. Others can't release the connection for years.
Just my $.02 | |
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kegns
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Joined: 11/7/2007
Msg: 71 | |
| When do you go from divorced to being single again?
Posted: 10/26/2008 8:43:34 AM | | separated =married cannot be used like that. I was with the same woman for 17 years but since we were not legally married when we broke up and she moved out of province we became separated. I can now claim single because of a signed separation agreement but because I was not married should I have been allowed to call myself single. Of course not I was in a relationship | |
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