| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 1/3/2006 7:31:13 PM | | I have recently became a member. I have worked with people with disabilities for the last twenty years and have found them to be the most sincere and honest people I have known. No matter what anyone says you are a valuable person and any good woman will be able to see that. I will find out as I have recently become disabled because of heart problems. You hang in there as there is a woman out there for you that sees beyond the disability and sees the person. | |
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| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 1/3/2006 7:37:50 PM | | Yes. I'm an amputee. I have a boyfriend, who is able-bodied. It's the person's choice if they want to see you or not. I don't let it get me down, at least I wouldn't have wasted my time with someone who would never accept me. | |
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| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 1/3/2006 7:54:24 PM | | It is so sad that people where so rude to you, I can't speak for them only for myself...but I look at it like this, none of us know what our future hold, and one day you could step off of curb and the next thing you know your kissing a bus...or as you know illness hits...those that want to be higher than thou about how should be here and who shouldn't need to look at why they are here...not doing to good in the "real" world are ya...some I really respect once told me that we all have disabilities where they be physical, mental, or emotional, and those who judge, tease, and harrass others are afraid of their own short comings, and to make themselves feel better...you belong anywhere you want to be...people are people regardless of the packaging, its just a temporary shell anyway...its the heart and soul that make us special...keep your head up and keep the faith, and the answer to your question, damn staight I would date someone with a disability...and if I have offended anyone, miss me, I really don't give a rats...we all desever love, affection, care, happiness, and if you think certin people don't belong here, mybe its you that needs to figure out what your problem maybe and work it out....... | |
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Keljo
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Joined: 12/28/2005
Msg: 55 | |
| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 1/3/2006 8:52:57 PM | I spent a greater part of my college days as a officer in CAN-DO (Concerned About Needs, disABILITY Organization). We did disABILTY awareness around campus and made for a more accessable campus for all students.
I was the only non physically disABLED person in the group. My friends from that group were some of the best friends I ever had! They all had a sense of humor about their varying disABILITIES. Chip (papaplegic) laughed the time our car broke down and he was with us. He wondered how long his motorized wheelchair would last cruising down the interstate to go get help.
My point is, you have to look past a person's disABILITY and see the PERSON.
I learned a very valubale lesson during my time with the group. Since I had no physical disABILITY, I agreed to an experiment. I was strapped into a wheelchair and had to make my way around campus in the wheelchair. The campus TV crew followed me around and we made a documentary about it. It truely opened my eyes about the every day things we take for granted. Our little experiment actaully paid off, as we won a grant to add automatic doors, chair lifts and elevators to buildings that were sorely lacking access.
Why did I join this group in the first place? I was going to school to be a teacher, and thought it would be best if I opened my eyes to all sorts of things while in college. I also have an incurable neurological disease that someday, MIGHT disable me in some way. You never know what lays ahead for you and your loved ones and to judge someone based on ABILITY is pure evil. | |
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Keljo
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Joined: 12/28/2005
Msg: 56 | |
| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 1/3/2006 8:55:54 PM | ^^^ to add to the above....plus the added bonus of HANDICAPPED PARKING!!!
Sorry, just teasing.....it was an ongoing joke in the group since I always had to drive the campus van we would borrow to go on trips (it wasn't equipped for handicapped drivers). I am so used to parking in normal spots they would yell at me that I was trying to kill them by making them walk all that way. | |
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| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 1/13/2006 3:04:00 PM | | i am a slightly disabled man. i have no trouble finding women, just honest women that actually mean what they say. i walk with a limp and had a tumor on my right side. it doesnt stop my life in any way shape or form. it certainly dont stop things in the bedroom thats for sure. of course on the other hand, i have never dated a disabled woman before, but im certainly ok with it. | |
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| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 1/13/2006 4:15:20 PM |
I dunno, do u have lots of YUMMY YUMMY pills?? Cuz then I'm good... As long as I can sleep with who I want, and never service you... WOW! Thank you Pun-kin, for such an excellent reminder that that in this day and age, it's it's now possible for a female to act just as tacky and crude as a man. The day of true sexual equality has finally arrived, even down in the dregs of society.
Reb  | |
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| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 1/13/2006 4:26:09 PM | If a person married to a disabled person in the begining, you might as well stick to the end of the marriage. However, if you jump into a marriage with a disabled person who is in the advanced stage or severe disablity, it would be difficult for that person to accept the disabled person.
It isn't about discrimating the disabled person. Humans often have difficulty adjusting to drastic deterorating health of another person in a close relationship. If you start the relationship before the disablility advance to a more severe condition, it is possible to be accustomed to it. | |
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| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 1/13/2006 6:51:31 PM | Would I date someone who has a disability? Well, I'd have to say yes because you see in my world everyone has a disability. It doesn't have to be visible, it can be invisible.
There are disabilities of all kinds and we are all humans living with some form of a disability. Think about this for a moment...There are various ways of saying disability and if you type in the word disability into a thesaurus, you will come up with a whole list of words such as;
affliction, ailment, complaint, defect, demoralization, detriment, disablement, disadvantage, disorder, disqualification, drawback, enervation, enfeeblement, exhaustion, feebleness, impairment, impotency, inability, incapacity, incompetency, inexperience, infirmity, injury, invalidity, lack, malady, palsy, paralysis, unfitness, weakness.
So, what happens when we hear the word disability? We automatically think of a person in a wheel chair, someone falling over or bent and twisted. But, look at the different ways of saying the word disability and you will come to realize that every human that walks the face of this earth have a disability of some sort or another. It could be they can't write or read, they can't speak, they are afraid of leaving their homes, they are afraid of things such as spiders, snakes, etc... you see what I mean.
Disabilities are all around us, we just don't pay attention to the ones that don't show themselves enough. Hey! I have a disability, but I will never admit it. You see I believe we are only disabled if we allow ourselves to use disability as a crutch. I know, I'm hearing impaired and wear two hearing aids, but I'm abled, not disabled. So for those who laugh at others should really take a long hard look at themselves because they are more disabled than the person who has the visible disability. | |
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| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 1/13/2006 9:59:02 PM | | Sure I would. I have OCD. Instead of it getting me down I try to inform and educate people. I f someone thinks less of me because I am not able to work then to bad. God gave me this for a reason and the time of putting myself down are wayyyyy over. | |
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| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 1/18/2006 5:45:17 AM | | I am so glad to see so many open minded people on here that look past someones problems and look at what they are beyond there limp or wheelchair or whatever there challenge may be. Stay strong and positive, all will work out in the end. | |
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| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 1/18/2006 6:15:05 AM | | I must say i applaud you all for coming up with a thread like this and i mean i am touched by the postive comments you all have made and am only responding to postive not negative comments cause i think its very cruel and low to pick on people with disabilities or mentally ill,when you do that you are not human and you are not educated enough to even speak on the subject,but i will say this people with disabilities catch hell just like people with mental illness we re judged folks say we need to get off our butt and work and they say we are taking from the government which is a lie i see it this way hell if i got to be this way the rest of my life you damn right i desrve someking of secreity and if you find love good luck cause i don't know of too musch men wanting to take care of a women ,it just isn't so when i hear success stories im like bravo and it gives me faith well good luck to all of you and i admire the person who wrote this thread for having the guts to speak on people ith disabilities not many people can do that. | |
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| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 6/13/2006 6:14:32 PM | | I have the problem of being disabled as well. every woman ive been with only sees the disability not the person.they dont spent time to get to knoe me as they are to hooked on looks instead of the inner person. | |
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| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 6/13/2006 6:21:16 PM | yes disabled parking is a nightmare so many plaxces get taken up by mums and kids in ther supermarkets, plus where i live in maidstone there used to be ample disabled parking in a road calleed earl street but the council has decided to widen the path there and done away with the 10 disabled parking places, now there are just 3 on the opposite side of the road. So much for disabled friendly councils.maidstome council that is | |
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| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 6/13/2006 6:22:32 PM | Have consideration for her disability,eh?
Good.
I would consider dating someone with a mild disability one where I would not have to service them in care and as long as the human is functional it's okay. They are humans too. | |
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kmhstx
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Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 67 | |
| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 6/14/2006 2:45:07 AM | Op I didn't read your other thread...but I feel badly that you were treated with sure ignorance.
I am meeting someone next week. We strangly enough met on a thread similar to this...He was asking if he should put that he has cerebral palsy in his profile....and this guy came on and started telling him that disabled people should only date other disabled people.
Well I was shocked seriously that that attitude still existed. Its extremely close minded, and over all a non issue, at least to many people.
Anyway Me and this man (who started the thread) over the last 3 months have become very good friends, and he is coming to visit (Long distance) next week, and I am very very excited. We are both nervous...and hoping that the friendship can turn into something more. He is nervous that I won't like his "sexy wiggle" (his discription of his cp walk). I am pretty sure it won't matter at all. Hey I'm worried what he will think of me. Anyway there are all kinds of people in this world who will love you for who you are. Just ignore the haters. | |
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| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 6/14/2006 4:26:01 AM | Blackwolf...
Somehow, I missed your other post. It seems to have been a good thing too. I'd have had a real problem with the nastyness...
I have OPCA (for information, visit http://alyshia.com/OPCA/) which is different from MS, but has most of the same consequences. For a long time I felt that my disability was a liability, and it had really negative effects on my confidence and self image. My lowered self esteem made me a fine taget for an abusuive wife even.
I met a wman here on POF, a fantastic and radiant soul. She had been 'warned' what to expect both now and possibly down the road before we ever met face to face, but it didn't deter her from wanting to meet me. She's seen me at my best and my worst, she's seen me with the cane, she's watched as my coordination has given me difficlty in performing tasks most people take for granted. Regardless, it's ME she's fallen in love with, not my disability.
A long term disability, one that affects us daily and is something we have to live with every minute may be a big part of our lives, a big part of what makes us the people we are, but it doesn't defne us. We are so much more than just the sum of our parts. It takes a special kind of soul to see past the physical/mental limitations of people, but there are women (and men) out there who can, and will... I'm nothing but a schmuck, but I've been fortunate to find someone who can see me for everything I am, not everything I'm not. Keep looking my friend, there are wonderful people out there... | |
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| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 6/14/2006 4:46:49 AM | to sumbudysluver,
I have no idea what what you limitation [s] may be but I will say you're a fox and I think any man would be proud to be with you regardless of any limitations, now why do you live so far away again...? | |
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| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 6/14/2006 5:38:02 AM | First of all... Pun-Kin, just re-read everything everyone has said about you, and make that from me as well..
second, I'm sorry to hear that some of you are having trouble finding a partner due to any limitations/disabilities you may have.
I for one am sad to hear that marriages have fallen apart due to an unexpected, or increasing disability. I guess it's easier to say "In sickness and in health, till death do us part" than to actually mean it...
I have dated and will continue to potentially date people with disabilities. My sons father has an artificial leg (that break up was about personality and trust issues, not disability issues). And my son actually has a rare adrenal gland disorder which will require him to carry an emergency injection at all times and take medication three times daily for the rest of his life. I hope that he will be able to grow (hes only two) and accept himself for the good person I hope he becomes, and that he is accepted by others, male and female and never has to deal with the ignorant opinions that some of society unfortunatly has.
I wish all of you luck... don't give up! There's someone out there who will accept you for who you are - all of you! | |
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| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 6/14/2006 5:42:25 AM | | Sure I would date someone like that..The heart knows no such things, unless you are "In the Man Hater" Club or women Hater club..Disabilities are only a Disability if you let them be.. | |
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| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 6/14/2006 5:43:01 AM | What a shame....I see our OP has left us! I've posted on this subject before...I have MS,used a chair last 18 yrs....and I do it pretty well,although my butt might argue that one! Its funny but that tiger comment is actually true...I visited a zoo in Bomanville Ontario and this white tiger watched me like I was supper, so much so we drew a crowd intriged by it all...good thing we weren't in the jungles of India...I'd be best with a sweet and sour sauce ;-)
I do think the whole dateing game is more diffecult for men disabled or not...but attitude makes all the difference....be upbeat ..laugh, smile get your ass out there enjoy life!
Fact is theres some that will some that won't...some like blondes some like brunettes etc...and some people surcome to chemistry if they give it a chance...then watch out!
Ohhhh and special note to that silly grl....ya might wanna stay away from those pills seems you've caused a disabilty of your own!;-)
Be good to each other !Later!  | |
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| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 6/14/2006 6:08:44 AM | Without playing Devil's Advocate here, some people are not equipped to handle an obvious disability in their spouse. I"ve dated guys with disabilities before, both obviously physical and not so obvious. Unfortunately some do use their disability as a crutch, pardon the pun. Everything bad that happens to them is because of their disability, not because they dont handle the situation better or didnt prepare for the problem. For some, a disability is all-consuming. The spouse is put in a position of caregiver instead of spouse. Its expected of the spouse to become the backup instead of the partner. I can understand how some people wouldnt be able to handle this. I'm certainly not condoning the fact that she divorced you BECAUSE of the disability, but I'd bet a penny that there was more to it than just the disability itself.
Now, having said that, I've dated a disabled man on crutches. I also became very attracted to a quadriplegic, a very talented artist who painted with long brushes held in his teeth. He seemed attracted to me, but didnt want to become involved with anyone because of what they would have to go thru caring for him, as his health declined. He had nurses caring for him, so I didnt feel the spouse or gf would be his primary caregiver, but he felt that way. Maybe he just wasnt all that attracted to me, I dunno. But it gave me a lot to think about, as far as living in that situation. Good luck, OP.  | |
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| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 7/27/2006 6:24:22 PM | Blackwolf...I have two disabilities #1 obesity and the other my right leg was amputeed below the knee in 2003...after 51years with 2 legs now I am in a wheelchair until Ican learn how to walk with my pros.( fake Leg)....I kee p hoping I wil;l find Mr Right but always seem to come across Mr WRONG....lol  | |
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