| | WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!Page 5 of 6 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6) | | hear hear vixen, i too have a disability caused by a stroke(was"normal" until then)- cud happen to anyone anytimne, car accident, accident at work, think sum pple shud consider the maxin-"there but for the grace of god go i"u stay where u r hun f em | |
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| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 12/16/2008 3:53:08 PM | Yes, ABSOLUTELY I would date a woman with a disability. I'm disabled with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy and I rely on a ventilator to breathe 24/7 and I have lived in rehab hospital for just over 18 years. I have dated a few women that were physically disabled and let me tell you, they loved unconditionally. One of the women, I have known for just over 20 years. We had a commitment ceremony because getting married would have caused us to lose our Medicaid benefits. It lasted four years, but unfortunately it ended because we just were not compatible. She has Spina Bifida and despite the fact that she had her own medical issues to look after on a daily basis, she was very much involved in my own care. I never asked or expected her to help care for me, but she chose to do so. Thankfully, we have remained friends, although we are not as close as we once were. After that relationship, I met a woman who was as disabled as I am minus the ventilator. We had a great relationship for nearly 2 years. Sadly, it ended badly because mistakes were made by each of us that caused a lot of hurt. She broke off and has not spoken to me for about 2 years now.
I realize that there are able-bodied people out there that are looking for someone to do physical activities with such as hiking and sports or what have you. Yes, many disabled people are able to participate in such activities, but they are those like myself whose disability prevents them from being able to do those types of physical activities. However, just because I can't do those particular activities doesn't mean that I don't have something to offer. What really bothers me are those that can't see past the disability and realize that there's a real human being with feelings and a lot of love to share with the right person. I understand that seeing somebody on a ventilator can be extremely intimidating, but that shouldn't get in the way of getting to know me or others like myself. If more people would engage people with disabilities in conversation, they would learn that we are not as different as they would expect. Everybody has their preference and that's fine, but don't be so narrow-minded that you would never consider a relationship with a disabled individual. I have messaged a handful of people on POF that say that they are looking for friendship and sadly 99% of them don't even take the time to read the message and simply delete it or they read it, but never reply. This is extremely frustrating, but it hasn't dissuaded me from giving up. Trust me, I'm not one that gives up easily.
Peace,
BostonGimp | |
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| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 12/16/2008 8:04:08 PM | My latest boyfriend, and now just a very good friend, is disabled. He was born with his bladder outside his body and has had 27 surgeries since he was 10 days old. This has left him very disfigured from the waste down. He also suffered from blood clots and lost his left leg from the knee down.
But he is such a wonderful man. I love him dearly but now only as a friend. He is Jewish and I am catholic. It really does make a difference. I think if I we had been the same or like in our religions it would have worked out.
I know that someday this man will find his true love and I hope that I will always be his friend. | |
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| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 12/16/2008 8:20:04 PM | | anyone that doesn't look past your mistakes and disabilities is not worth being with if people got reasons to get rid of you. Be thankful that they shut you down rather than pretend to lead you on and live a relationship that is a fake. I know it sounds cruel to be kind but those kind of people that got don't look past things are not worthy of you. | |
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| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 12/17/2008 5:08:26 PM | Yes. I absolutely will date someone with a disability. My close friend is paralyzed from the armpits down. So I take what he says very seriously. He has been paralyzed for 10-years this past November. His wife divorced him about six years ago. He says he doesn't feel it is right as he would be depriving a woman of a complete relationship. A complete relationship??? Since when did the ability to stand up, run, or walk be the defining factor in having a complete relationship? No matter how hard I try to explain to him my woman's point of view he just can't listen. But I still will try b/c one day he will meet a woman that see's beyond the disability. I hope one day he can see beyond his disability also. He's a great guy. | |
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| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 12/17/2008 5:36:40 PM | | It would depend on the sort of disability. I would be fine with most things, but honestly, some would just require too much from me. I think it's different depending on whether or not I had feelings for the person before the developed the disability, or they've had it since before I met them. Hm. | |
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| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 12/24/2008 5:22:10 PM | | It is a disgrace not to recognize people first and treat them with respect that they feel they deserve .You don,t belong what next only those that are blond blue eyed people get a grip here and what ever circumstance you find yourself in remember you are dealing with human beings with feeling s even if they don,t strke you as gorgeous . | |
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| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 12/24/2008 5:23:48 PM | | It is a disgrace not to recognize people first and treat them with respect that they feel they deserve .You don,t belong what next only those that are blond blue eyed people get a grip here and what ever circumstance you find yourself in remember you are dealing with human beings with feeling s even if they don,t strke you as gorgeous . | |
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safren
| | Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 111 | |
| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 3/6/2009 2:36:37 PM | | pun-kin can i just say you are really cruel i just hope you dont have an accident and see what its like on this side of the equation i really feel sorry for you to have the emotional range of a teaspoon must be tough | |
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| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 3/6/2009 3:28:43 PM | | Yes...and I did for 3 years. He had suffered polio as a child, used a wheel chair and had horrible scoliosis. Did not affect anything else...built his own home, had 2 children, many friends and a great life. | |
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| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 3/9/2009 7:40:51 AM | | I have had wonderful relationships with women with significant disabilities. They were the most outstanding relationships of my life. I am fully attracted to women with disabilities or physical differences. Why not? | |
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| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 5/10/2009 7:41:03 PM | | really? Can you tell me where some of them are, because I'm a woman with a disability And find it nearly impossible to find a guy who would be willing to date me because of my physical disability... it's like a repellent or something. | |
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| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 5/10/2009 8:35:04 PM | | i thank the good hearted people that responded to the wolf...I think how the disability affects you and the other person is very important.i was in a very serious car crash with serious head injuries, and had to relearn walking, which i do very well now.I had a great boyfrind for 6 years.he was a homebody,after long days in sales.i'm an artist...my disability didn.t a...ffect his life negatively.I have been pursued by a much younger guy, very handsome who is deaf...his disability is really impossibl for me, as i'm totally into communication, a chatter-box,in fact,love music etc.As a disabled person myself, I know that one needs to down-size on's life to what one can do...and if it doesn't adversely effect the other person,it can work out okay...bst wishes...i read a really charming real life love story, about two people who had autism, and learned to live together with it, it was different in each..it was a true story | |
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| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 5/10/2009 9:30:57 PM | | My ex gf (I haven't really dated since I was a teenger) I guess you could say was a "little person". She was 4' 7". I believe she had a form of childhood arthritis. We never really talked about it because it just didn't matter to me. I saw what was in her heart. It would be great if I could find someone who is also in a 'chair so I could have someone to relate to but I'm open to anyone. Ok maybe not anyone. I draw the line at men. | |
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| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 5/14/2009 2:11:33 PM |
"really? Can you tell me where some of them are, because I'm a woman with a disability And find it nearly impossible to find a guy who would be willing to date me because of my physical disability... it's like a repellent or something."
I for one have had serious relationships with women with disabilities, and each one was unique and wonderful. I prefer women who are physically unique in some way or have a diability, and am not at all afraid of women who use a wheelchair or other equipment. Yes, I admit that most people do not feel this way, and some people with disabilities are uncomfortable with my preference for them. Yet I truly believe that there are men out there like myself who would find your disability no barrier at all.
I wish you the very best of luck!
-Gray | |
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| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 5/14/2009 2:53:52 PM |
I'm disabled with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy and I rely on a ventilator to breathe 24/7 and I have lived in rehab hospital for just over 18 years.
Here is the situation I was in with the woman I was with for 6 years until we recently split up. Her brother had the same form of MD, it runs in her family although he is only 30 now. She desperately wants kids but also knows that with a boy, chances are that he will get MD, and the girls will likely be carriers. He has lived with the family all his life and has a homecare worker that comes in when both parents are working. The family loves him to death and have watched him "on his death bed" MANY times over the years since he was a teen. At 30, hes lived much longer than any doctor has expected. He has no independence at all and needs constant attention, even not being able to cough could cause flem to choke him to death. Until a year or 2 ago he could at least move his fingers enough to play his video games. He now has zero mobility and cant even hold his own fork or spoon. He could have a heart attack at any time as his heart muscles have deteriorated so much. A cold or flu could also be life threatening. It was hard for me to see this wonderful young man slowly deteriorate, but the family have been seeing it since he was about 8.
We talked about kids and there was a chance that thru genetic counselling, etc. that they may be able to prevent MD in our children, but there is also the chance it wouldnt work at all. She told me how hard it was on her dad, seeing him cry on occasion and I know I would be the same. I know that it would be very hard on me to know that your child will almost certainly die before me, and so I couldnt take the chance and see my own child living like I watched her brother for 6 years. I dont think it would be right to have a child like that, knowing that he will be suffering for most of his life. I assume that I will get hatemail, maybe even praise for my "greedy" outlook, but I dont think it would be fair to the child or the family. | |
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| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 6/25/2009 9:21:52 AM | | Well, I have to say that when I joined POF and decided to be completely honest about my disability (Tethered Spinal Cord Syndrome, using a walker to get around) that I wouldn't get any responses, but I was pleasantly surprised! Lots of offers to go out already! And I find that the few guys I've been involved with since my disability came along really don't see it--they see ME and love me for myself. There are a few angels out there, so we disabled shouldn't give up, I say. | |
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| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 11/17/2010 11:08:29 PM | I have mild cerebral Palsy and I talk about it openly in my profile. Although, I know some people with disabilities think that any difference or mention of a disability sends people "running for the hills" that has not been my experience. I am not saying that I haven't experienced rejection due to my disability, but the reality of getting rejected because of my disability isn't as prevalent as I once thought it was. For example, I have found that, in the past, it was often ME who rejected my body before I gave my partner or romantic interest a chance to reject me. I projected my feelings of insecurity onto them. I have sabotaged more than one potential relationship because of my own insecurity about my disability. Today, I realize life is short and I am much more than a walk. I am honest about my disability (I walk differently anyway, so I can't hide it) and I do not apologize for it. It's my body, it is human diversity, nothing more, nothing less. I find that how people react to my walk is directly related to how I portray myself and how I react to my walk. Now, there will always be ***holes who will dismiss me no matter what I do, but I think they can be in the minority in my life.
I think in order to get dates or become intimate with a person, one has to first believe that they are sexy and date-able. For example, ( not to sound conceited) I think I'm hot. I go to the gym, I work out, I take care of my body, I wear clothes that show off my curves and make me feel hot, I am also kind, compassionate and intelligent and funny... and I have Cerebral Palsy, I walk with a limp. I can't give the people who view my disability in a negative light the power to erase the other positive aspects of my body and identity. Sometimes, this can be a daily struggle... but like everything else, self - acceptance and confidence sometimes has to be practiced in order for it to be believed. So when I do feel bad about my CP, I remind myself that I only have one life and one body; I am powerless over how other people react to me; and there is a hell of a lot of people in the world - and who I am to assume that they will reject me? Who am I to think for them?
I hope that regardless of how many dates any one has gotten since you first started this thread, that you all feel beautiful, sexual, and worthy.
Peace. | |
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| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 11/18/2010 1:41:25 PM | | I know i would get jumped on for this but i would rather not date anyone with disability. Im very active and would like to date someone who can be as active. Now if the disability is not effecting you from being active, Then yea. Same token when i ride my bike i got a big note in the pocket that says DNR and it going on the suit in larger letters on the back as i cant see my self not being active the rest of my life. | |
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| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 11/18/2010 2:13:18 PM |
I realize that there are able-bodied people out there that are looking for someone to do physical activities with such as hiking and sports or what have you.
Not me. I'm looking for someone who wants to lay on the sofa with me watching reality shows and eating fat free popcorn. I have to hide this side of myself from my current bf. | |
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| WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 11/21/2011 12:14:32 AM | I have tried dating a few times and it is exceptionally frustrating for me due to the simple fact that I do have a physical disability. The largest reason is that a lot of women I have met originally say that the disability does not concern them, until they realize precisely what that it means.
I have Cerebral Palsy, and while I like to think I am reasonably intelligent as well as a good person, the things I can not do seem to eventually make things difficult. I will never be able to hold a woman in my arms while I dance, or go hiking. Camping would be difficult as well. So that would leave things like movies, talking, going to restaurants, and things like that. While I personally see nothing wrong with those activities, I believe that the physical activities that I mentioned above are just as important to a majority of the women I have met.
I am not upset or angry about that fact, but it is unfortunate that it has to be so difficult due to circumstances beyond my control.
Another percentage think that I am looking for a nurse or something to take care of me. This is completely not the case as I have survived for 32 years taking care of myself and prefer to look after myself.
These thought processes have made the dating rather difficult and at times hurtful. Even still, I do think that if I get lucky and find the right woman, it will all be worth it. | |
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