| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/20/2006 5:50:27 AM | ok I dont' know what # it really is anymore.... [showing my attention span]
so let's say # 399 ... Don't believe anything anyone else puts in their profiles.
Just respond to every profile that is posted at the top of the page by PoF when you check in and don't bother to answer any of your emails because they are all just stringing you along.
#400... put every possible thought you have into a thread under relationships then start threads about why your threads are always moved or deleted.
#401... Add all the hot babes or dudes to your favorite list and never email them because they are in another country; and who cares anyway?
#402 .. then you can change your profile to stating you only want people who are honest and honestly you are only here for the forums and actually found your true love the first day you were on here...
you found your right hand. [then post a picture of you and it] | |
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/20/2006 6:20:53 AM | Gray comb-overs are not "Brown, black, or blonde".. they ARE gray. | |
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/20/2006 9:22:13 AM | Make sure to start a thread asking what the opposite sex prefers, so you can confirm once and for all that you're nobody's type!
Then follow it up with a thread complaining that people like you don't stand a chance (that's right, sherlock!). | |
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/20/2006 11:37:47 AM | make sure that picture you post is so fuzzy that no one could ever tell what you look like  | |
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/20/2006 5:18:57 PM | #???
Your main picture should always be a picture of your back. Never post a picture that gives anyone a look at your face. | |
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mw6
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Joined: 10/22/2005
Msg: 256 | |
| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/20/2006 7:20:23 PM | And ladies, always describe yourself as looking for a man that is not just looking for sex and/or is a player while posting photos of yourself in seductive poses on you bed or in your underware. We men are easily confussed but that just makes us say "WHAT??!!!"
This is some really great stuff on here. | |
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/21/2006 6:22:01 AM | | number...whaterever this is up to...If you've ever been arrested, get a copy of the mug shot to use as your profile pic. If you dont have one of those, take one at a bad angle, in bad lighting and after you've been up for 48 hours straight. Try to look bored, deranged, unstable, or like you would kill the next person to say hello. this usually makes for attention getting photos. | |
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/21/2006 10:40:49 AM | Claim that you made a deal with God, and you are now living a "Godly Celibate" Life style.
Remember to email and IM all the woman/men you can and ask them to cam with you, while you act like a sex starved out of control pervert.
(This actually happened to me today... UGH )  | |
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/21/2006 12:41:23 PM | | omg, this is just too much. i almost fell over from reading these postings. when i stop laughing i'll try to add some myself. | |
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/21/2006 4:21:38 PM | .
Be sure to state at the beginning of the profile that you are very open minded and nonjudgmental. That way it will not be such a shock to a reader’s ego when they come to the part where you list all the things you will not accept in a potential date and then see your list of e-mail restrictions at the bottom.
. | |
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/21/2006 5:20:28 PM | | Be sure to have a photo with a cigarette in your mouth. That is very appealing. | |
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/21/2006 6:48:05 PM | Buy at least 6 Months worth of food to survive as you wait to get a reply from a billion messages you have sent out,
Learn to count the dust mots in the air as you learn that to be on the internet means to lern to wait,and then wait some more,
Be as friendly as you can BUT BE YOURSELF.
Try to find people in your own age range and area.
Learn to wait some more.
Talk on the forums honestlly and politely so you are senn.
Wait some more.
I am still waiting for my firt reply. | |
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/21/2006 8:48:03 PM | *Effective emails to send to women are " u r hot" or "i love ur tits."
Oh..and another one is to ask for the cup size.
*By all means use the words bi***es and basta**s as often as possible when referring to the opposite sex in your profile.
And, if my some chance you actually get to meet your date..use the appropriate term as many times as possible in a short time. This is sure to get a response.
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/21/2006 9:58:38 PM | | well now that all of you may go and rewrite your profile (s).i can be the original. till the next one comes along. | |
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/22/2006 12:13:34 AM | if you are a guy, then you must have the obligatory pic of yourself, obviously plastered, with the offending beverage still in your hand, usually in one of those massive red plastic cups... then you have to get one with you and a woman - and never say who she is (mom, wife, girlfriend, sister, etc.).
when you send an e-mail, make sure you never read the woman's profile first, and make your message so generic that she can tell you didn't read it. i get this one a lot, even though the title of mine says i'm not available... | |
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/23/2006 8:22:49 AM | | Hey girl (sidheanwwyn) give the guys a break .... they know that "off the market" only applies to all the OTHER men on here...not them...LOL! | |
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/23/2006 11:59:33 AM | .
Try to post something in every thread in the forums bashing the opposite sex. Then start your own thread so you can whine about never getting a date.
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/23/2006 1:48:04 PM | And. . . . by all means. . . send me pictures of you in your underwear.  | |
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/23/2006 2:01:54 PM | | twilight -twin and by all means make sure they a stain or two in them and showing in the picture | |
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/23/2006 2:08:56 PM | I cant stop laughing this is the BEST THREAD EVER,kudos to the OP | |
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/23/2006 2:24:16 PM | | wow arent u a smarty pants....geesh......give me abreak | |
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/23/2006 2:32:56 PM | #500 ?
Learn every cliche known and post them every where. Email them, IM them, just make sure you keep spreading them around.
Don't forget to use 'whatever floats your boat'. | |
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/23/2006 2:35:34 PM | # 405
For men: Try your best to get a woody on your first date. Who cares if you're in the middle of a restaurant...just do it. AND THEN make sure your date knows it's there by grinding it into her as you give her a hug goodnite. This also works great in other "first date" scenarios. If you're kicking back and watching a movie, take her hand and gently place it "there". This will give her an idea of your package size before she decides to commit!! You can also try grinding "it" into her backside when she's turned away from you and least expecting it! We women love surprises!! | |
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