| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/15/2006 11:21:40 AM | yum/yuk/yikes
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!laughing so hard I can't even type here......this is the best statement ever
microscopicwillie1.5 | |
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/15/2006 11:24:30 AM | | hahhahhhahahahahah i should of read this before i registered | |
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/15/2006 12:04:32 PM | .
Windsorfun writes:
take a look at yourself maybe your one of them because there aren't much on here that know how to put together a proper sentence without 7/10 words being misspelled and missing words.
You make a good point, almost. However, as my old grandmother used to say: “Better to keep your own porch clean than be worrying about somebody else’s.”
Just that short paragraph you wrote contains errors in spelling, grammar and style. . . . .
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/15/2006 12:26:42 PM | | bdndon.. thanks, you saved me the trouble .. LOL (windsorsun) | |
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/15/2006 12:58:57 PM | My sentiments exactly dbndon - everyone knows that 'yourself' is properly spelled 'urself' and "there aren't" should have been "they're ain't" - geesh........(just playin with ya Windsorfun)
this thread has hands down been the best and the funniest during my two month tenure here  | |
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/15/2006 1:08:45 PM | | Completely ignore an email that is asking you something to do with one of your pictures or hobbies (like "Is that you doing barrel racing on that horse? Is it fun? I'm looking for things to do with my horses. Any suggestions?") because obviously I'm only asking you to get in your pants. | |
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/15/2006 3:33:01 PM | ^^^^^^or wondering if the horse got into your pants
ok guys and gals lets not make it look like a form letter to all the guys or gals you are in contact with when you give someone your number for the first time by having 10 to 20 nicks being sent the number at the same time  | |
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/15/2006 4:15:34 PM | | oh wait I don't have a pic up of me! What does this mean???? LOL | |
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/15/2006 4:54:18 PM |
ok guys and gals lets not make it look like a form letter to all the guys or gals you are in contact with when you give someone your number for the first time by having 10 to 20 nicks being sent the number at the same time
LMAO seriously??? I've only ever gotten individual emails so far... I guess I'm lucky. ;) | |
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/15/2006 5:23:57 PM | | It turns me on when you have pictures, but they're not of you. One's a truck, one's your dog, and one's a car. You obviously have a camera, but don't think I should know what you look like. Your car is hot enough to catch my interest, I don't care about YOUR looks. | |
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/15/2006 6:21:22 PM | lacykitten...
Exactly... I bet the boys don't want to see my flowers or my craft table.. or even my painting.. so..why would I want to see their boat, motor, car, truck, dog, yadda yadda yadda | |
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/15/2006 6:37:32 PM |
Exactly... I bet the boys don't want to see my flowers or my craft table.. or even my painting.. so..why would I want to see their boat, motor, car, truck, dog, yadda yadda yadda
Well now, that's not exactly true. A nice craft table, or some flowers, or better yet flowers on a craft table, can be very alluring.
But by far the best is an indistinct field or snowy landscape. Then the imagination just soars. | |
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/16/2006 7:58:44 AM | | wonders if the Field represents a Field of dreams that can never be lived up too and the snowy Field represents shes frigid | |
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/16/2006 8:21:07 AM | tenbears... LOL... you are reading wayyyyy too much into this..  | |
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/16/2006 8:46:26 AM | | ok heres one i just ran into when posting a picture and there is more than one person in the picture tell which one is you whats a person going to do go eeny meeny miney moe and hope they get the right one by toe in the picture | |
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/16/2006 8:55:53 AM | | Thank all of you for the best laughs I've had in a long time! I don't have a picture since I can't decide which side shows off the hump on my back and the warts the best! | |
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/16/2006 9:44:57 AM | Get an anonymous e-mail account. Initially, you don't want people you're meeting online to know your actual name, address, or other personal information about yourself. Save all that for when you're ten years into the relationship. Give yourself an eye-catching headline. Just because there's nothing unique about you doesn't mean your headline shouldn't be. Simply print the last line from a prescription bottle label and add "seeks no strings attached relationship." Include a picture. Posting a picture of yourself is a guaranteed way to increase the number of people who respond to your ad. If you seek thousands of responses, I recommend deep cleavage poses for women, and for men I urge you to wave from an expensive sports car or yacht. Don't reveal everything. Let's get real -- you've got a lot of competition out there. Your Internet personal ad may not be the best place to talk about your "charming limp" or the fact you're writing from a "cozy prison cell." You may be proud of your belly button lint collection, but save that revelation for your 20th date. Don't be negative. No one's life is perfect, but be as positive as possible. You're not 47-years old and still cursed with acne. You have a "youthful look." You're not a member of a chain gang. You enjoy being "connected to people." You're not an alcoholic. You're a "glass is half full" kind of guy. Don't be bitter. Except for a haphazard personal hygiene regime, there's no bigger turnoff than to hear someone go on and on about a horrible ex. There will always be plenty of time to stalk, threaten, and agonize over that devil personified with whom you once shared your life. For now, suppress this negativity so the next person in your life won't realize you're a ticking time bomb. Be realistic. Most people can not live up to the expectations of personal ads. It certainly would be nice to meet a Julia Roberts look-alike who enjoys fetching you a beer and spending her Saturdays at monster truck pulls. It is more realistic to hope for a Julia look-alike from accounting who enjoys telling you to fetch your own damn beer and attends 12-step meetings with you. Face it -- George Clooney will never wake up in your bed. So try shopping around for George Costanza.
Edited and reprinted from: http://www.onlineoffbeat.com/ | |
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/16/2006 11:12:28 AM | Ok guys .....If you don't want to hear the answer ...why do you ask the question....
Example:
GUY: Read your profile and I would like to get to know you...please read mine and if your intrested please contact me.
GIRL: Thanks for the interest, however I don't think we are a good fit...good luck in your search!
GUY: Well can I ask why you think that.
GIRL: I just think that physically we are not compatible
GUY: Well I didnt really like you either I just wanted to do you a favor and maybe let you have some of this! Your fat and ugly and should be gratefull I noticed you.
This will definately make us realize our mistake and immidiatly reevaluate the situation and beg you to please have mercy on and give us another chance...not sure how we could have not seen past the beer gut and hairy back in the first place! | |
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/16/2006 11:36:36 AM | Oh yes and please remember just because you post a very clear, very real picture of yourself does not mean anything. We human beings are guided by names so if you tell us a name that is truly not your own we might actually believe it. This might keep those pesky co-workers and other confidants away because it IS possible to have an identical twin out there who happens to have 100% identical physical traits as you. We will never put the two together and think "maybe he/she used a different name?"
Some people are just weird. | |
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/16/2006 10:13:39 PM | # Over 6 Billion served.
By all means use the words bi***es and basta**s as often as possible when referring to the opposite sex in your profile. This will show us your not afraid to show your true feelings. Try to use the words liars, cheaters, players and any other positive words you can think of in conjunction with them. We're not here to find people with issues we want those that bought the whole subscription.
@privatenites-There's always the thin category. I thought prefer not to say would make them assume it must be large enough to scare the average adult. | |
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/16/2006 11:10:39 PM | | Wait that might work to my advantage. Giggity,Giggity, alright... lol | |
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/17/2006 12:02:29 AM |
Well, I am a single father with kids living with me, and "they are my world and nothing comes before them"...Nothing...I guess that would also include me...and I would want to be one of the nothings that will not ever come before your children...WHY?
Good one, Jewel! 
Yum/Yuck, what's with the pic of the turquoise and white striped pimp mobile? I recognize that as a 70's-something Riviera, right? That's funny!
No worries about not posting a pic, Whispering, I love the colors in your kaleidoscope stoner pic!!! I even looked at your profile in hopes of finding more pretty, colorful kaleidoscope stoner pics!
Love your nic, mssng vwls!!!!! Love the wit! Guess you didn't take your profile pics on a Wednesday.
Wes, great funny stuff. I especially like the Georges suggestion!
Petunia G.  <<--- how come no one ever uses this emoticon? | |
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/17/2006 3:28:59 AM | @yum aka microscopicwillie1.5" - I suggest "big and beautiful" AND "a few extra pounds"
Must help the new fish learn the value in an honest profile eh?
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| New Fish, Please Read
Posted: 1/17/2006 5:55:09 AM | @pgooperman
It's a 1963 Riviera. I restore cars for a living so ya gotta make them stand out. That one by the way was my kids all time favorite, and they're girls. Must be the pretty color. Beside's with the thousands of why do guys post car picks forums I just had to. I never keep them more than 60 days so as far as proverbial "*****" extensions they don't last long. Oh, hey, now that is a guy thing!!!! | |
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