| Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/30/2004 10:04:40 AM | | brittney... i think, in all fairness to him, you ought to get to know him from a safe distance first. if you didn't care, you wouldn't be asking for advice on this issue... so... what would it hurt to give the guy a chance. i just wouldn't suggest sleeping with him until you get to know him a whole lot better. you may find that after a few dates that you're not interested. or you may find that he's the man of your dreams... but you'll never know unless you give him a chance. i think you should be open and honest with him about your concerns with his manic/depressive issues. he was honest enough to tell you he suffered from this so maybe he'll be receptive to discussing it further with you so you have a better understanding of what you're dealing with. there's all sorts of stuff you can do... i wish ya luck ;) | |
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| Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/30/2004 10:23:12 AM | | I was married to a man with bipolar disorder for 21 yrs....He passed away in Nov.....due in part to him being manic.....I can tell you from experience it is harder on the loved ones than on the one with the experience....It takes someone very special to be able to deal with it on an on-going basis.......My husband was awesome when his meds were right.....but the in between times were horrible....I am not saying do not get involved but I will say weigh your options very carefully.....It is hereditary.....you need to consider all the elements.....My husbands disorder was passed on to our son......I can only pray he does not end up like his dad.....It is EXTREMELY important that they not go off their meds for just one day.....that was part of my husbands problem.....he would feel better so he would stop taking his meds....the ups and downs are extremely tough to deal with...whatever you choose to do I wish you the very best. | |
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| Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/30/2004 11:02:08 AM | Citan: You're kidding right? There's nothing "romantic" about thinking you're a complete failure and that you don't deserve to live.
The worst part about being bipolar is that you can actually FEEL the second when you go from wanting to die to wanting to climb the nearest mountain. I was diagnosed as bipolar about two years ago and was later hospitalized because I wanted to kill myself. (Lovely hospital wouldn't let me in unless I had attempted. I convinced them if they let me out of their sight I would.)
How am I doing now? Not a trace of the illness left. I was prescribed meds that I don't even have to take anymore and I got therapy to work through the emotional side. I wouldn't have been able to even get out of my bed at the hospital unless I knew I had someone that would love me no matter what.
Maybe what he needs right now is a friend. When I was sick I wasn't even thinking about a relationship.
Guys, you can recover from mental illness. I'm proof. And don't assume you know what it's like just because you read a book about it. Before I got sick I had read books about people with mental illnesses but after I got better I read them again. They were so heartbreakingly familiar. There's a difference between sympathy and empathy. | |
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| Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/30/2004 11:03:01 AM | .....My husbands disorder was passed on to our son......I can only pray he does not end up like his dad.....It is EXTREMELY important that they not go off their meds for just one day.....that was part of my husbands problem.....he would feel better so he would stop taking his meds....the ups and downs are extremely tough to deal with...whatever you choose to do I wish you the very best.
It is hereditary not only genetically but the environment the child is raised in.My oldest has the same emotional outbursts and mood swings my ex did.The youngest hasn't shown signs yet.Read Danielle Steele's book,His Bright Light which is her only non fiction book about her bipolar son.Many of these people are very intelligent,creative and good looking.Danielle Steele's son tragically took his own life. | |
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tink24
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Joined: 10/6/2004
Msg: 30 | |
| Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/30/2004 11:03:19 AM | | Wow, is this ever a topic I have something to say about. Not ALL people with mental illnesses are people you should run from. True, there are those who need a lot of help and who having sort of relationship with would be very challanging, but there are those who know how to deal with their illness and can lead a very normal life. I am one of those people. By looking at me and talking to me you would never know that I have a mental illness. I don't openly talk about it, but if asked I will tell people. I work f/t, I am a wonderful mother, I have lots of great friends and I generally love life and I am a happy person. Yes, I have been on medication for a lot of my life but it is because I am on the right meds and I have learned how to cope with my illness in the right ways that I am able to function as a so-called 'normal person'. Yes it is true that if I went off the meds I would probably lose it (did that once and once only...never again) but as far as everyday life goes I manage very well. | |
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| Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/30/2004 11:58:12 AM | sugaredgagirl
When I was 19 I became involved with a girl that had a serious heart condition. She had had two open heart surgeries, one as an infant and another at about 10 years old. It wasn't till she was into a 7 month stay at UofM hospital that I found that her heart problems were the least of her worries.
Once the doctors realized that I held a fair amount of infuence over her, they began telling me the whole deal. They explained that a great deal of her problems were due to emotional abuse at the hands of her parents. They told me that her physical health could be much better but her parents had refused medical treatment for her over the last few years. They belonged to some nutbag sect that believed that doctors were against the will of god and in arranged marriages.
One day I went to the hospital and the doc caught me and warned me that my girl had been sedated and was in bad shape. He told me that the police had removed the parents from the hospital and that they would be arrested if they returned. She was in bad shape but she got better and I finally took her home. We found that her life could be extended to 50 years or more. (this was 20 years ago) They even suggested that she may be able to have a child if she continued to get proper care.
I took her home and went back to work. In a few weeks she started getting worse. Finally I came home one day and she was gone. Apparently her parents found us and and used thier near hypnotic grip on her to demand that she go with them. Inside of a month she was married to a guy she didn't know, inside of 6 months she was pregnant and by the end of a year she was dead. During that year I got midnight phone calls from her begging me to forgive her. All I wanted to do was bring her home but she was afraid untill she died.
It's all a little hard to explain to someone who hasn't dealt with that sort of thing. To tell you the truth I don't know how I survived it. | |
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| Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/30/2004 1:28:26 PM | Not ALL people with mental illnesses are people you should run from. True, there are those who need a lot of help and who having sort of relationship with would be very challanging, but there are those who know how to deal with their illness and can lead a very normal life.
That is true and I'm happy for you that you've found good care and are able to manage your illness.However,those of us who have been stung here and therefore have to spend the rest of our lives dealing with the fallout have a different perspective.We say better to err on the side of caution.
Having said that though,it's only fair to say that many of the world's most talented artists,statesmen,humanitarians and others who have made valueable contributions to society are/were mentally ill.It's a great thing that the people that loved them helped them throughout their lives and didn't just write them off.I admire those people,I just couldn't be one of them after my experience. | |
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| Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/30/2004 2:18:38 PM | | i'm bipolar/manic-depressive and hve o.c.d. i have also had a suicide attempt in my past but God pulled me through. if a guy ask for a date i tell him whats going on with my mental health then he can decide. if not then this fruitcake moves on to someone else! | |
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| Would you date someone with a mental illness???(-;
Posted: 12/30/2004 3:43:47 PM | At Christ-Mass as we all exchange gifts...(-;
My Father 90's,pop's out with,
I don't wnt to disturb you!!!
And we in out 50's and 60's come back with, Oh dad we've been disturbed for decades Dad,why what's up??? | |
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| Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/30/2004 3:55:28 PM | Can I just clear one thing up before I even begin to explain this illness, which can actually at times be a blessing in disguise? First of all the name is manic depression, so there is no such thing as a maniac depressive. However if that was a spelling mistake and that's what you really meant, then please accept my humblest apologies. I am responding because I've lived with the illness myself for about 9 years now, and I'm living proof that there is no cure for it. It's far too complicated to get right as everyone is different and needs different doses of medication depending on the chemical imbalance in their brain. I just know that lithium has been the best drug to treat the fluctuating highs and lows of manic depression. Unfortunately, a lot of people are still ill informed about how this illness is brought on and how we avoid feeling down in the dumps. Like all human beings, we have highs and lows but we only feel like we're on a rollercoaster ride of emotions if we fail to take our prescribed medication on a regular basis. Therefore, I can conclude that we are more or less like your average joe, with evenly balanced moods providing we don't forget to take our meds. As with everything in life, there is a good and bad side. Your'e quite right in being worried about suicide, but this could just as much depend on the individual's way of coping with stress than on the illness itself. My advice is to adopt a routine like I used to do with my ex. He would pretend he was my nurse and made sure I took my meds before bed. I'm sure you can probably guess the rest... So, on the other hand it's not such a nightmare because not only do I share this ilness with 2 muscians (Jimi Hendrix, Kurt Cobain) and 1 author (E.A Poe) who have made lasting impressions in history, I also have ample sexual energy as well as creative awareness due to my manic side. Now if anyone else knows of any other manic depressive famous people, feel free to let me know. Take it from me Britt, it takes 1 to know one and I'm sure you and your new man will have lots of fun times together.
All the best, 'mel x | |
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| Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/30/2004 6:21:51 PM | Lilia - No maam... you do not need much makeup at all... Very pretty...
There is a whole list of MD's don't sweat it, I know a double handful around here, and they are cool people.... As you sound to be very cool too... glad to hear you have yours tied down
~~Dragon Rider~~
I know it is here somewhere...
Happy New Year | |
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jaytea
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Joined: 12/9/2004
Msg: 43 | |
| Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/30/2004 8:48:45 PM | | I think it depends on the mental illness. Fortunately, medications work wonders for MI, although if it's a psychosis it's pretty bleak especially if medication is not being taken, which happens a lot, but if it's depression or manic/depressive I think as long as medication is taken there should be no problems. | |
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| Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/31/2004 1:56:09 AM | well I know nothing about bi polar disorders or schizophrenia but........
I do know a few things about mental illness my uncle had epilepsy which was very tuff on my auntie if his medication wasn't right he would have had seisures all the time ,his meds kept them down to maybe once a month if that ,but he lived a terriblly sheltered life he could not work, he could not drive,
so when he commited suicied we weren't at all surprised, we miss him dearly but we knew it was hard on him to live his life that way,So I do know a thing ar two about mental illness..
I will probably never date him but we'll always be friends and he knows that, And if he's okay with that ,thats all that matters but keep this going,this thread is very important and the words need to get out
brittxoxo | |
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Citan
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Joined: 12/19/2004
Msg: 45 | |
| Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/31/2004 2:29:28 AM | No no no... I know many people who have "bipolarism" as well as various form a b or c of depressional or anxiety disorder...thats not romantic..
But I think that a girl with split personality disorder, SPD, might be well... I think it wouold have it's romantic and cute sides to it. It was just a thought to get the thread a goin again, hope I did not offend anyone.
Citan | |
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| Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/31/2004 6:47:04 AM | not only do I share this ilness with 2 muscians (Jimi Hendrix, Kurt Cobain) and 1 author (E.A Poe) who have made lasting impressions in history, I also have ample sexual energy as well as creative awareness due to my manic side.
Also John Lennon,Ludwig Van Beethoven and Abraham Lincoln. | |
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lml4s
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Joined: 12/31/2004
Msg: 47 | |
| Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/31/2004 12:24:11 PM | | You should build him up as high as possible thinking he has finally found the one person he can truly relate to, then the first time he shows any sign of weakness or insecurity, tell him you can't handle his mental illness and dump him. If he floats, he's a witch, burn him. If he drowns, he was a good guy, oh well. | |
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| Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/31/2004 12:25:40 PM | You should build him up as high as possible thinking he has finally found the one person he can truly relate to, then the first time he shows any sign of weakness or insecurity, tell him you can't handle his mental illness and dump him. If he floats, he's a witch, burn him. If he drowns, he was a good guy, oh well.
LOL! It's a good thing she didn't ask about dating a quadruple amputee. | |
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| Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 5/14/2005 11:04:37 PM | Manic people need some time alone when they want it...are you ready to give him his space when he requires it or are you going to try and change him?You both won't be happy unless you research his illness and learn to deal with it...I think that you probably should look elsewhere for a "mate' because this man is not well and you will find a life with him very depressing...you are young and pretty and even though we women want to nurture and help guys with problems....don't.
Get out there,have fun.When you get older you will have enough stuff to deal with...I'm not being mean...but don't get in over your head.
I think that you would eventually be very hurt if you decide to continue this relationship....sorry,but I speak from experience...Good luck and you WILL find your match someday,meet the next one without problems starting from the beginning. | |
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| Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 5/14/2005 11:23:17 PM | | I was married to someone who was a Bi-Polar Manic Depressive. I just couldn't go there again, that's a personal choice, not a reflection on any one who may have to deal with this as part of their life. | |
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