Happÿ
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Joined: 12/19/2004
Msg: 51 | |
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| Would you date someone with a mental illness? eg:Bi-polar and manic depressive.
Posted: 5/15/2005 7:03:48 AM | To be honest tho... is life ever really predictable??? i dont think it is for anyone.... do u really know wots going to happen from one minute to the next?? Yes we can presume, and have a routine... but this can be interrupted at any point in time. Its just that with a mental illness added to the equation, the pattern changes can be more extreme and noticeable. However... even then, it is more important to have structure and routine and predictable time tables, when dealing with a mental illness!!
I spend most of my waking hours with the mentally ill.... im a Psychiatric Nurse!! Im constantly surrounded by a huge variety of different illness, episodes, family members, partners... etc. And wot amazes me the most.... even after all this time and study, a good chunk of society are still so naive and misinformed when it comes to mental illness!!! We are way past the likes of 'One Flew Over the Cookoos Nest!!!' | |
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| Would you date someone with a mental illness? eg:Bi-polar and manic depressive.
Posted: 5/15/2005 7:14:53 AM | Madnus, if you are dealing with it daily in a clinical setting thats great for you. I'm proud of you, I couldn't do that. However, Happy and I lived it in our homes day in and day out. No days off. Life has been a LOT more predictable for me since that relationship ended 14 years ago.
Being aware or mental health issues (I am due to my job), understanding how mental health issues affect people, being cognizant of treatments for mental health has really not much relevance when you are living with one in your home, especially when that person is undiagnosed or has no compunction to take their medication. Roler Coaster doesn't really describe it. | |
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| Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 5/15/2005 4:28:26 PM | | The way I look at the mental illness/dating issue is that that person who is mentally ill, by definition, is just simply not ready to be in a relationship. Of course, much of it depends upon the type of mental illness and the degree, whether they are on meds, etc. If it's a personality disorder, then that's serious because these people rarely seek treatment because it's not perceived by them and a personality disturbance will disturb a relationship in a great and mighty way. If it's something like depression, that they are aware of, and in which by being aware, can take meds to help them while they work through it (if they will work through it), then they are date-able WHEN they work things out to where they can manage their depression or whatever it is. Unfortunately, most people resist change and never do unless they finally hit rock bottom or reach out and get help. | |
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| Would you date someone with a mental illness? eg:Bi-polar and manic depressive.
Posted: 5/15/2005 4:35:36 PM | """""Speaking as a person who has *several* mental issues...(manic depression, OCD, a picking dissorder, post-partum depression, border line personallity dissorder)... I had my happiest relationship with a guy who had a lot of major problems."""""
Purity555: Borderline Personality Disorder is serious. I really hope you are seeking treatment. Also, it's the most commonly misdiagnosed disorders of all mental disorders. Please don't walk around with that label in your head unless you know for sure and for God's sake, don't just tell people. Get help and stay in therapy for 5 years. It WILL take that long IF you really are a true borderline. But, it will be worth it. And make sure you get a good doctor. Nine out of 10 are worthless. But do it because you are young and life will be hell and hell for others if not treated for many, many years. Do something now. | |
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| Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 5/15/2005 7:51:08 PM | My little brother of 32 is manic depressive, but his girlfriend knew right in the beginning what she was getting herself into, she asked me, my little sister and my mother the best ways to deal with it and we also explained to her that she was making a life time commitment to someone sick and how to deal with the lows. She has been doing fantastic and my brother has been better then ever also. I guess it's one of loves little miracles. Of course some times are very tough but she knows she can turn to us in those times. Basically make sure you have a good line of support when times are hard.
C | |
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| Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 5/16/2005 7:10:48 AM | | My ex was manic depressive. I couldn't do it again, the mood swings, the temper fits, after 20 yrs I had finally had enough. I never knew what to expect and dreaded the time he got off work. I gave it my best shot, probably stayed longer than most would of. | |
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| Would you date someone with a mental illness? eg:Bi-polar and manic depressive.
Posted: 12/21/2005 11:04:12 PM | Hi Im Danny I have Biploar but I can control it completely, its just when im not on my meds
its like im on drugs or something. I dont drink alcohol, or take drugs, this gives me more control of my emotions than people who dont have it. Sometimes and most of the time
the symptoms that other people see are fake because their not doctors. It takes a doctor
5 years or so to identify whats wrong and what medication you need. Now how can an everyday member of society with no education be able to notice what is wrong with someone
with a mental illness, makes you wonder what causes the nerve swings huh. Never judge someone with a mental illness as being dumb, because they know exactly whats happening to their surroundings, but the medication r chill pills, nothing more. And remember people with bipolar are more intelligent, Im a chef, people cant beleive how i come up with the meals i come up with, and very soon i got like this accidental rapping career cause people cant write lyrics like me, they dont have the imagination. It all comes down to respect but if someone with bipolar goes off at u, that aint mental illness, thats at you. Theres a difference wit me and others though is that I tried to understand reality from books, I have a diploma in
E-Business Support and studied it with a lost mind. It took me a long time to get my mentality where it is, you cant say that every person with bipolar has the same attitude, cause that is not true, their all on different levels, Im just one of the few that got through it
and as u can see through my vocabulary manage it. Peace. | |
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| Would you date someone with a mental illness? eg:Bi-polar and manic depressive.
Posted: 12/21/2005 11:14:07 PM | so run faggot run
even though i hav no gun
u weigh 50 kg and i weigh a ton
my rhyming shit u cant hackit
thats why u split and forgot ur faggot leather jacket
when the fuk am i gonna makit
well fuk i quit smokin and dont hav a packet
and to release anger i dont hav no tennis racket
just got my pay packet
so i thought fukit thats that
and bought myself a us baseball bat
to turn skulls to split peach
dont get me wrong
ive never been to cronulla beach.
i wanna no hav u ever seen the pain
of an addict begging 4 crak cocaine
how u think i think of that shit
get ur 1st aid kit
cuz im fukin crazy
yeah im fukin crazy
vision dismantling
halusinating
subliminal
my fukin thinking is dilusional\
like garlic and oil that got infusional
u get confusional
And oh yeah u think
" I got a cruch"
Danny thinks too much!    | |
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| Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/21/2005 11:49:00 PM | | depends on what type and how much of a problem it is...if its something that could turn bad then i probably wouldnt get involved. If i was with someone and they developed an illness then i would stick by them. | |
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| Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 2/2/2006 7:20:29 AM | | well of course, but only if they took responsiblity for themselves and acquiring the proper therapy and/or medication. also, it's never an excuse for bad behaviour and hurting others. my gf babysat her one male friend with a profile on here for over 3 yrs. after his last breakup when he couldn't get off the couch or outta his bathrobe, date or hold down a job. he'd call 20 times a day crying and she was there no matter who she was seeing, in school and all the rest. just like her last ex on pof who has paranoid schizophrenia, post traumatic and ocd, and her sister in real life, who slept with 3 of her boyfriends, drained her bank acct. on several drinking binges, and tried to o.d., cut her wrists and has various mental illnesses and addictions like the rest of her family. they've all become abusive, physically violent intolerably cruel hateful people so at this point she's cut off all further contact. at least her mum & sis should go back in therapy and on meds. to get back on track, and i have a real problem/zero tolerance for these people who did nothing but use and abuse such a loyal loving person. guess that some people are just all take and no give, how sad for them. | |
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| Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 2/2/2006 8:51:31 AM | | People with mental illness that severe or drug problems .. don't realize they are using anyone..their illness and drug addiction control them, to be angry with them is like being angry with a child spilling his milk, they can't help themselves..but my hat off to your gf for trying to stand by her family and friends to help out..and who knows maybe she touched them in someway that will help them in the end..one never knows what good they have done, the results aren't alway apparent right away.. | |
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| Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 2/2/2006 5:17:10 PM | | to that extreme, then yea, you are dealing with the disease or addiction, not the person. just want to protect someone that i care about so badly from such pain. these people don't see the toll it's taking every day. thanks for such a compassionate and insightful post countrysugar. you're one very special person. all the best in your relationship. | |
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| Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 2/2/2006 10:24:28 PM | aww I'm sure you do want to protect her and that's understandable..it's difficult to stand by and see someone we care about suffer..she sounds like a strong woman..and she's got you for support I'm sure she's gonna be just fine. However, it is very mentally & physically draining putting your all into people who need help, she may want to seek out a professional that she can talk to as well. The best of luck to you all..I'll keep you in my prayers.. 
Thank You for the compliment.. | |
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| Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 2/2/2006 10:42:33 PM | xxxbrittneyxxx
It really depends on you hun! Depression is a disease and can be treated. I don't know how the guy I have been seeing handles me when I am pms ing! I'm like Jekyll and Hyde. Seriously! He is a very patient and understanding man.
 :heart | |
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| Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 2/3/2006 2:05:59 AM | | managed 7yrs of it and didn't know until all my ex's siblings all had the same symptoms,man i thank god every day she did what she did to break up with me or else i would of still been in hell....... | |
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| Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 2/3/2006 8:39:53 AM | The big difference between a person who has a mental illness and a person who has a physical malady,is that you can SEE and help with the physical malady.Not much you can do when your S O just starts ranting and raving for no reason at you or starts talking to invisible people or accuses you of imagined crimes.Add drugs and/or alcohol to the mix and you have a deadly combination.
I have a sibling who is off the chain now and has been spreading malicious gossip about me and my fiance.Trouble is,she's been in front of shrinks before and knows how to act sane in front of them and keep under the radar. | |
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kymbie
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Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 73 | |
| Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 2/3/2006 9:11:13 AM | RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN
i lived with a guy who has bi polar for 2 1/2 years. the first 6 months were wonderful. he made breakfasts in bed...took me out..i was pregnant for my daughter at the time and he accepted her as if she were his own...i thought he was wonderful...then when she was a few months old everything changed...he started screening my phone calls, isolated me from my friends and family...became very verbally and emotionally abusive towards me. Child protection became involved and i almost lost my daughter because of him . He refused to move out of my house and threatened to kill both me and my daughter if i left him.
He went through spurts where he would feel fine so stopped taking his meds. We could literally be sitting down to dinner one minuite and he'd be in the kitchen holding a knife to his throat the next for no apparant reason. Within the year he became very physically abusive to me and was still treatening to kill me if i left him. I ended up sending my daughter to live with my parents until i could get away because i was afraid for her saftey. I went on birth control pills and tried to get away from him....I ended up pregnant for his child dispite being on the pill, and the only way i finally was able to get away from him is because all the stress caused it to be a high risk pregnancy so i spent some time..over a month..in hospital...While i was in hospital he came in to visit one day and punched me in the stomach...The hospital social worker and nursing staff helped me make arrangments to go from hospital to an abused women's shelter, after which i had to live in hiding for almost 2 years because he was stalking me.
about a month ago i had opportunity to date another man and within a couple of weeks into the relationship found out he had the same condition. I broke up with him explaining to him that i promised myself i would never live like that or put my children through that again. He too became rather obsessive...called several times...text messages to my cell phone...had to block him from msn because he wouldnt' leave me alone....he tracked me down in another chat program i use and harrassed me in there for literally days at a time, and he has even somehow managed to track me down on this site and i had to block him from contacting me here too.
My advice....RUN!!!!! | |
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| Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 2/3/2006 9:24:05 AM | | not just protect her but up until i saw things from your perspective yesterday, i wanted to get in the boxing ring with these guys and be done with it. the right approach is to press charges of assault/battery and stalking with a few ppl. and she's working towards that goal with her therapist. it's sad to think of how much collateral damage abusive people cause, but where the law's been broken that's not negotiable. your guy is very lucky and we'll keep you in our prayers too. you seem to have been through a lot and have great strength yourself. | |
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| Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 2/3/2006 1:13:54 PM | I am a Registered Nurse, trained in psychiatry, and I have Bipolar disorder (which is the "politically correct" newer name for Manic Depressive Disorder).
There is no doubt it is difficult for anyone to be in a relationship with someone who has any mental illness, simply because there is always some degree of uncertainty about that persons frame of mind from one moment to another. However there is also varying degrees of the illness, and each person who has it obviously has thier own personality, and coping mechanisms. The incidence of chemical dependancy is high among people with Bipolar disorder simply because they self medicate to cope with the symptoms. Others attempt suicide as a cry for help, some comit suicide out of really wanting permanently away from the life of bipolar. There are though, many people who function normally in society, who lead sucessful lives, who have marriages, or relationships that work, and who really take care of themselves and manage the illness they have sucessfully.
Often when a relationship is affected by this illness it is because of normal relationship issues like communication problems, which trigger the symptoms of the illness. Rarely do symptoms of the illness appear, unless they are psychotic symptoms (hallucinations and delusions), without a trigger.
For a relationship to suceed both the sufferer and the well partner have to have a good understanding of the illness, and of what triggers the symptoms for that person. The sufferer must know themselves well enough to be able to recognize when they are unwell and seek help immediately before the damage begins. The well person has to respect that persons mental needs in order to prevent triggering symptoms in the bipolar partner. I personally always state at the beginning of a relationship what my biggest trigger is, and if that person can respect that and keep it in mind, things go much smoother.
It is possible for this to work, but as with any relationships, the conditions must fit right. | |
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