| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 7/28/2006 1:17:42 AM | lol...that girl dosent deserve a nice guy...period.i just got out of a bad relationship with a girl that just used me to get her drug fix.lol.dont worry about it! | |
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Britty
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Joined: 7/3/2006
Msg: 277 | |
| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 7/28/2006 3:24:52 PM | I know this situation almost to a T.
Though I was the women in the situation and had a guy just like you. Although I had never had sex with him, or even the slightest bit flirty with him, he was in love with me. He would do anything for me, and I let him. He would come to my work functions and pick me up from work, we would to play pool bingo whatever(dutch of course) always together. Though anytime he asked me to be with him, I told him the truth that I love him as a friend.
He was a great listener, I never told him about feelings i had for other men, as not to hurt him, maybe i should have to give him the picture. Finally after 6 or so years of him and I the best of friends he was on another dating site and met a girl(who turns out to be an old friend of mine) and they have been together ever since. A month of so after they got together he erased me off msn, didnt return my calls and wiped me off the face of his planet and I couldnt be happier for him.
I think that is what you need to do with her, if she hates you for it, she is using you. Dont let her guilt you into hanging on. Move on. There is someone out there who is perfect and waiting for you. | |
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| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 7/28/2006 3:33:30 PM | | Look you sound really innocent and pure. I would guess you have not had very many women in your life. The only thing you need to do is get off your ass and meet someone for yourself, and do your own dirt road rondevouz. Nothing like a little pay back when she sees you driving a honken porche, wearing a cologne, and too busy to notice she is being hurt by Mr. 2 timer. That guy sounds cool. He is banging your gal and his gal and on some dirty side road. Cool. NOW, see, why can't I be that exciting. I best go eat my frozen dinner now and change my message on my answering machine with some cool guy music in the background. | |
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| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 8/12/2006 9:34:44 PM | | Ghostridin, kudos to you man I think that most people are too scared of being alone to figure this out for themselves and come to terms with the things in their life, choices etc because it's easier to go out and get laid, drunk, etc. But I strongly believe being alone is the true approach to understanding yourself and getting over things in a way only you can understand for yourself. I've been in the same situation and I still think of the girl, but I'm wiser for it and I can tell the signs better too. Good luck to everyone in learning about what works and doesn't work for them...especially if it's the hard way. The wide path is easy but what have you accomplished? After the small dark winding path you have a story to tell and achievements to boast of. | |
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| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 8/19/2006 7:02:06 PM | when a girl tell you let be friend that means she is taking you for granted. the best thing to do is to date someone else for a while. this can relight the fire of passion.
if this does not wake her up, she does not love you in her heart. | |
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| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 8/23/2006 7:03:44 AM | | I think that both sex's should just stop playing game's with each other I think it should be very simple.if you like some one,and they like you. you both go out after a little while thing's progress and you get together or you don't then you both move on .unfortionatly that's not the case most of the time this guy was being used why would any one want to be with some one who use's them move on and for get about her even if the advise that you gave him worked how would he be able to trust her not to do the same thing to some els while he was dating her it's very simple she is a player and when you figure out if some one is player get the hell away form them all they ever do is hurt you and if they had just one ounce of compation for the persone they are using they wouldn't do it they are selfesh and crule and both sex's are capable of being that way | |
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| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 8/25/2006 4:55:34 PM | It's a win for her. The only way to deal with this scenario is to disconnect. There is no other way! Your affections toward her will only intensify with every interaction. To win back your dignity, you must disconnect... completely.
All the best to you. | |
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slamfm
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Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 283 | |
| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 8/27/2006 9:37:47 PM | Hey buddy,
What's the update on your situation since Christmas ? I am asking because I have gone through this twice with the same girl, where I was used for sex and as a wallet, the wake-up was very painful and brutal. | |
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| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 8/27/2006 9:57:58 PM | there is nothing wrong just being friend's!,,,,, as i have alot of female friends,,And I quote, there just friends nothin else. | |
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| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 8/27/2006 10:09:17 PM | wanna know my reason for remaining friends....ok...heres my 2 cents. i met a guy while back we became good friends. but he started to date another...hey thats fine with me...no problem....he was just a friend anyways. we can talk bout everything...we confide in each other...an we are on the same page...but we have no physical contact whats so ever...strictly just friends. now once a week if we dont do a coffee run ..we talk for few minutes on the phone...i never interferred with him an his woman...i repsected them both. now 6 months later..hes not with the other girl..kewl..he still a friend to me...but he keeps hintin..we are good together and hes right we are in many many ways....we see each other bout 4 to 5 times a week now..an he calls me more often....oh my...but i keep tellin him ..i can't go that route. never really thought bout it til today...cause i am so afraid if we do get together an it doesnt work out...we will loose contact an it wont be the same again...i will loose a good friend. people say its not true..bs....its so true...it changes everything...been there done that never again. i fear of loosing a good friend....
i have alot of male friends..only problem is...after a while they expect something from me...eww like doing my brother...thats nasty...lol. they know my situation ...its very clear in my profile....i dont lead any of them on...nor do i have any expectations of them....i keep it simple an we dont cross the lines. so is it easy to make friends of the opposite sex...i am startin to think its damn hard...without someone having expectations of some sort. | |
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| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 9/3/2006 1:30:27 AM | | The problem here is that people just aren't open about these things. Men and women should be completely open with eachother as to where the relationship is going before it even gets off the ground. Having sex always makes a relationship worse unless in is had within marriage. You'll work things out, Cussak, but don't worry for now. God bless you and keep you until then. | |
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| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 9/3/2006 10:55:59 AM | Cusack - there is no hate without love. What would be more useful than hoping for her getting what is coming to her, more useful than vengence and bitterness is for you to hope to feel ambivelant about and for her. It's not something that happens overnight, but it is how your heart will heal. Take it from someone who knows.
As for other posts: When I say I just want to be friends the message could mean anything from a lack of compatibility to a lack to chemistry. If I don't like him as a person, I don't offer friendship at all. But I do know that the "lets be friends" is used by many men and women as an out due to lack of attraction. If you hear it from a person, any person, it's best just to accept it, people tend not to change their minds once they've decided that you are just their "friend" even if you get sex out of them at some point. | |
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| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 9/3/2006 11:08:57 AM |
. Am I the biggest idiot on this planet or what...especially since I still talk to her, just not as much anymore. Love sucks......
Your not the only idiot in this world my friend and you can count me in this club but this was never really love.
Be strong and never ever let her use you again.
The sad part is she will want you when you do but this would be a huge mistake because she will only harm you again. | |
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| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 9/3/2006 11:15:17 AM | When I was wondering why it always hurts so much when it does not work out the way you want I found this written on a brick wall. The one I ran into... I realized that the most important thing is the ability to love somebody else regardless of if they love you back.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To hope is to risk disappointment.
But risks must be taken because the greatest risk in life is to risk nothing.
The person who risks nothing, does nothing, sees nothing, has nothing and is nothing.
He cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love and live. | |
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cusack
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Joined: 5/30/2005
Msg: 290 | |
| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 9/4/2006 9:23:49 PM | Well I just wanted to post an update to this story since it has been almost 2 months since my last post. I have NOT spoken to this girl whatsoever. She once and for all showed her true colors because when I was over that way for business last month she had told me to call her so she could pay me the $200 she borrowed. Well I did and left a message saying I was in town and told her where to meet me and I waited for 30 minutes for her to show up and she didn't show. I then called back and left another message saying that if she ever intended to pay me back then she has my number. That was a month ago. She think has ever called me????? NOPE!
I got played really bad and used all at the same time. This girl never once cared about how bad she hurt me and I'm sure she got a big kick out of it because she knew I was in love with her and took advantage of me and the whole situation. I learned a valuable lesson here and that is not to let a woman play mind games with me ever again. | |
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| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 9/4/2006 10:00:46 PM | | PLEASE DON'T TELL ME YOUR THAT NIEVE AND STUPID. hOW OLD ARE YOU? LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF FIRST QUIT CHASING SOMETHING YOU DON'T HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT IT IS YET YOUR NOT READY TO LOVE YET YOU STILL DON'T KNOW YOURSELF QUIT BEING AFRAID GROW And stop relying on others to define your defuination of love | |
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| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 9/5/2006 1:34:05 PM | I learned a valuable lesson here and that is not to let a woman play mind games with me ever again.
The trick is to make better choices in the women you choose to date.
Learn to pay attention to their actions not just their bodies or the way they look, believe me the best looking women are some of the worst for games and stupidity.
Learn how to fall in love with a women for her mind and her soul not just her looks and you will be a lot happier my friend.
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| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 9/5/2006 2:28:56 PM |
You earn your way into my circle of friends. I place higher value on what a true friend is than a lover. Lovers have come and gone for me, and will continue to, but that group of friends has been there and will always be there.
But that's just me.
And me too....thanks to Eastsideeddie for pulling a verbal"wedgie' on the thread..Reeling as I am from my own encounters with TWO soul-suckers.... all the posters here were like medicine.
this quote cuts to the chase...this is the REAL deal...
I place higher value on what a true friend is than a lover | |
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| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 9/5/2006 3:52:44 PM | When a girl just wants to be freinds it means she does not fancy you simple as that, hard but true. She does not want to be lonely so she is keeping yu as a friend. She knows your feeling and likes the flattery it gives to her ego. Move away from her emotionally and do not contact her or see her, that is the only way you are going to get over her, and get rid of all reminders of her. She is not giving back the love you give her and relationships are about give and take, find someone who loves you back, like you love them.
True love is not one sided at all, don,t be a sucker anymore for this girl let her find another one. She seems a fool going for someone with someone else. maybe she fears closeness and intimacy. that is why she goes for someoen who is unavailable. Does not sound like she can handle a close relationship. I would get out think about yourself because you are special and deserve to be treated better and when you believe that you will attract the right sort. | |
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| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 9/5/2006 4:01:43 PM | | what goes round eventually comes round. You will meet a lovely girl one day. Dont let this experience put you off because i am sure their is someone special out their waiting for you. | |
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| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 9/5/2006 7:06:39 PM | OLD LONG THREAD THAT NEEDS TO BE DELETED.
In any case, the guy who started it 9 months ago isn't around....but the premise was interesting. He was being used by some chick who strung him along as a "friend" while she had a boyfriend who was someone else's husband.
This scenario is common with people who are usually mistreated or disregarded by someone else. They find a dumb person who will give them attention....while they wait for the person they like to stop following the ex=husband, alcholholic or whatever.
Everyone is a loser in this situation. The WINNER finds the person who cares for them. Hope this guy got rid of his chick "friend". He was a typical kind of true believer in those chicks who keep stupid men around they call friends while they whine about the boyfriend.
It's classic and he got nothing but humility for it as they usually do. Hopefully, he won't find a chick to string along....like me....in this chain of losers.
YOU REALLY HAVE TO FIND THE PERSON who cares about YOU, not follow after these types who are dejected and need attention to thier ego, stringing you along when you were dumb and lonely. I swear off that gullible idea. You have got to be available to the right kind of person and know you deserve to be happy. Let the losers sit in thier camp and bemoan thier weak relationships and friendships and whatever you want to call it. Those chains of fools, as the song goes. | |
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| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 9/5/2006 11:20:05 PM | | Maybe this is just prattle because I have been drinking but "just friends" is usually a way of ending things with a guy that the gal thinks is nice but not for her. I, personally, have fallen into this trap a billion times and it is alway bulls***. | |
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