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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > When the girl wants to be "JUST FRIENDS"      Home login  
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 Billbutler8
Joined: 3/12/2005
Msg: 351
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When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDSPage 15 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS...Just be friends with her.
That's not rocket science.

YOU theBestBet are a different case

But I still see her and worst when she comes over to my aisle and talk to some other guy instead of me. I thought since she knows me so much better, she should at least say "hi" or something ... she acts sometimes like she does not even know me and yet sometimes she says, Oh, let's do this, let's do that.
I fell for it, plan for a great night and she would say, oh, I really really like to but I think I'm gonna hang out with my girl friends tonight


she does not sound like good friend material to me.
This does not sound friendly. My friends don't treat me this way, I don't treat my friends this way.
 sunraker
Joined: 12/14/2004
Msg: 352
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When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 11/7/2006 11:41:34 AM
Hi, The problem that us men have to realize is women .....can not feel .... lust and longing for a man who is a wuss.It's not MANLY so don't do it. It seems like the nineties castrated most men and they can't get there balls back.LOL Suck it up and find someone else and don't make the same mistake again.K.
I no your going to say how much you did for her Blah Blah Blah but the bottom line is you prostrated your self and destroyed her feelings for you. WOMEN WANT A MAN---- 3 million years of evolution has taught them that stong men will be the best lovers,protecters,providers for the offspring and that is so instilled in there subcontious they have not much control over it.
Your prohably saying to youself..what a jerk.What does this guy know? But instead of sobbing why don't you spend your time thinking about......why do women sleep with the bad boys without so much as a kind word-or gifts-or dinners and i hope you have enough testosterone left to understand. I don't mean you should be abusive or uncaring,cause women are the best thing GOD put on this earth.Hope this helps.
 wuzzums2000
Joined: 10/17/2006
Msg: 353
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When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 11/7/2006 4:25:56 PM
hey women may want the "bad boy" at first, but eventually they mature and want a nice, loving caring guy. women like a little bit of both, if you can find that perfect balance of bad boy/mushy guy then you're in.
 cowboyron557
Joined: 7/5/2006
Msg: 354
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When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 11/7/2006 7:33:30 PM
that is very good advise and nice to hear from a woman. I fell in love hard and I am pushing 50. this woman was the best think that has ever happened to me,we connected on every level,emotionally,mentally,physically. we loved each other very deep.then one day she says "lets just be friends" what the hell is that?????we have been friends for over 7 years and were intimate for over 2 years. now she wants to mbe friends???? anyway sorry just venting and I think that it is not right to play games with someones heart. now I am trying to cram my feelings down so that the next women won't get hurt because my heart was smashed. don't women know us guys have feeling to. we may not show them but we do.It is hard to move on and you are right in everything you say.It is not fare to the next woman.
Ron
 troydries
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 355
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 11/9/2006 10:48:00 PM
listen to this dude he knows wat he is talking about dude u need not read any more advice this guy just hit it dead on the head 100%
 troydries
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 356
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 11/9/2006 10:48:52 PM
spidey is the 1 im talkin bout
 troydries
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 357
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 11/9/2006 10:52:11 PM
stop being a puss and man up, the chick dont like u the way u like her so what her loss ,go fishing bro theres plenty more and next time dont be so ga ga over the girl or the same sh-- will happen
 mr_ultimo
Joined: 11/3/2006
Msg: 358
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 11/11/2006 2:02:04 PM
There's a difference between playing or pretending to be independent, having your own life and being truly independent. Those that have to play games or pretend will likely fail in their pursuit of their love interest and you will be found out, they will think you're a cad, loser, jerk, wuss, and many other unsavory things. But if you're your own person who likes the idea of finding someone else who is independent as a partner, then you get the respect you want and it will be a level playing field. When you don't have things you are so passionate about you hardly have the time for anything else, you appear needy. Who wants to take care of a needy person? A mom does, that's about it. Take an interest in you first before you expend that energy and time on someone else. You'll be a better person as a result and much more attractive to others.
 ohhwhatalady
Joined: 10/21/2006
Msg: 359
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 11/13/2006 3:13:11 PM
oh yes gemini3232, i am f 31 and boy do i agree with you the whole thing about respect i knwo if i do not respect a man who is after me i have been known to walk all over him, and that about cusack and his ''friend'' , totally she will get away with what she can, and the one thing you have to remember is you are the one letting her. so what is it that you are getting out of the deal, you are getting something right, attention the need to have something to **** about or be the one who gave everything and got nothing oh poor you, now i will really want you "not" . sweetness only gets you temporary attention it does not attract the ohh i want you to be my man kind of thinking, we women want to know that our man has a back bone and that we can depend on you to protect us and stand up for us, if you cant stand up for yourself how can you stand up for anything. well i have lots to say, i dont knwo the full story but these are my opinions how i think about things i dont know maybe other women do also. well better luck next time , cusack.
 Just2much
Joined: 1/25/2006
Msg: 360
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 11/13/2006 3:35:25 PM
This stuff happens, if you are involved in an intimate relationship and then the woman says, let's just be friends, it's basically over. You might be able to get back in between her other relationship if things are not going well, but then she is just using you and it won't work out.
 kingofaman
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 361
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 11/13/2006 5:23:15 PM
Relationships Should be like a full time job. If your girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp.
 Teusweet
Joined: 11/6/2005
Msg: 362
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 11/13/2006 5:42:59 PM
EKKOBEACH! This ones for you!

"When a girl just wants to be your friend it means your too ugly to date - not really that a hard a question!"

OMGH that is not what that means.....it means they dont mind being friend but they just arent that attracted to you in other ways. I met this guy last year! We dated for like 4 months he just wasnt ready for a relationship yet....he told me he would love to remain my friend. I was so in love with him. That love eventually fades when you see that its just not there. It hurt when he did meet someone but eventually I saw her for the money grubbin bimbo she was he didnt see it...I have never said anything and he is now seeing it all for himself. He wants me back now and I am not doing it. I have met someone else and things are going great there I am moving in with him after the holidays.

There is always someone out there for everyone one...but to say its because he's ugly thats BS...Cuz Hunny Im far from ugly and it was told to me too!

Blah to you!
 Pilatesdog
Joined: 7/23/2006
Msg: 363
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 11/18/2006 2:13:10 AM
The age old debate rages on. LOL. I must admit I've been given the "Just wanna be friends speech" once or twice. but not in about 10 years. The ONLY reason anyone can use/manipulate/hurt anyone else is because they are allowed to, given permission and shown where the other is vulnerable.

With a creature as "delicate" as a woman NEVER show any of those to her. Women routinely mistake kindness for weakness. Give them only what you are willing to lose and everything will be ok. Sure realtionships may not last very long, but man there are always plenty of women out there to choose from.
 JerryInTampa
Joined: 9/28/2004
Msg: 364
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When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 11/18/2006 9:05:55 AM
OP: She's just not that into you.

Maybe she'll turn around tomorrow and think you are the greatest thing since sliced bread, but I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you.

You got two options. If she's offering something that interests you (friendship, ****buddy, whatever) then enjoy it and stop worrying about what something that isn't there isn't there. If there's nothing she's offering that's of interest to you, tell her "thanks, but that's not what I'm looking for. Good luck to you" and move on.

It's really very simple. It's seldom easy, but it's usually simple.
 cusack
Joined: 5/30/2005
Msg: 365
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 11/19/2006 8:04:49 AM
Well it has been several months since I posted on here and since I was the one who started this topic in the first place I figured it was time to say a few things. I can finally say that I'm 100% over this girl. Sure I still think about her from time to time but I haven't spoken to her in about 3 or 4 months now. It took me a long time to realize what a fool I was being but this girl had a way of controlling me which I know makes it sound like I'm a wuss or something but you would have had to been in my situation to actually understand what I mean. I guess the biggest thing of all was that I felt sorry for her because I knew that she didn't have any other friends in her life and I really was trying to be "JUST HER FRIEND" but yet in the process I fell in love with her.
Anyways, I've learned my lesson and we all make mistakes in life. I'm hoping one day that when this other guy ends up treating her like crap and it doesn't work out then I hope she does contact me because the only thing I'm going to say is "Sorry, you had your chance. Goodbye". That chapter is closed in my life and I have no intentions of going down that road with her every again.
Thanks again for all the posts and emails that people have sent me and I also hope that this topic has helped others who have been in a similar situation.
 mr_ultimo
Joined: 11/3/2006
Msg: 366
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 11/19/2006 8:26:29 AM
That's it?

What am I gonna do with the rest of my life now...?

 cusack
Joined: 5/30/2005
Msg: 367
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 11/21/2006 12:39:30 PM
Well I suppose I could write a book if you like and then start selling it.
 evdogg
Joined: 8/14/2005
Msg: 368
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When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 11/26/2006 3:50:35 PM
Let me tell you what really hurts! I met a girl on this site two days ago and in my add I made it clear that I wanted to date only someone who is sure of what they wanted in a relationship. We went out on Friday to a movie and about a half an hour into the movie she grabbed my hand and put her head on my shoulder. That put a smile on my face and told me that she was indeed interested in me. I really liked her too. By the end of the evening together we were pouring our hearts out to each other. I was falling in love........and so wasn't she.....at least that is what she told me.
Come Saturday evening, she called me to come down to watch a couple of movies with her. I was all excited and I went. I really liked this girl. I got to the house and we cuddled and started to watch a movie but then one thing led to another. I was polite and asked her if she was really sure this was what she wanted. She insisted yes and I hesitated a couple of times but gave in like a fool. About three hours into the night she told me she needed to go over to a female friends house to spend the night and she did.
Come Sunday, she called me in the afternoon to come watch a movie and again overcome by excitement I went. I got to the door and she kissed me and we went to go watch a movie and again cuddle. She kissed me some more and about an hour into the movie got up and looked at me and told me I was not the man that she wanted and did not see a future with me at all and politely asked me if I would leave. I am getting so tired of all the games that women can play with a man. My heart is broken once again and now I do not even know if I want to even consider dating for another 5 years. So guys, just read my story and you can learn from a real loser right here!!!
 pegasus01963
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 369
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When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 11/26/2006 4:36:28 PM
I totally agree with you on what you say and how to go about it. But its very hard when you love them so much. I’m in the same position right now. Thing I know what she is doing but you hang on for the hope they will change there mind. I am working on getting out of this situation as I now realise she doesn’t want me for who I am only for what I can do. Oh and I have only had sex with her the 1 time. Guess that was the bait for her. Every time try it with her now it not the right time o she’s on. But its going to be that has the last laugh don’t worry. Revenge Is sweet.

Get the hell out of it and don’t look back. If she wants you , you wouldn’t be on here now. Lets just say I have woke up from a dream that been ongoing for 18 month and its cost me thousands
 Merlin the Dwarf Lord
Joined: 5/6/2006
Msg: 370
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 12/6/2006 1:36:36 AM
I agree. That's how it's done. Girl's love treating a sucker for what they are and they will milk it for what it's worth. Get the uperhand early and they will fall in your lap.
 Valerie34
Joined: 10/8/2006
Msg: 371
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 12/10/2006 5:16:24 PM
Once you fall into the friend catergory it's really hard to come back from and recover. I'm glad to here you have distanced yourself. Good for you!
 M-Town Loverboy
Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 372
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 12/11/2006 9:50:31 AM
Ok. Here is my current luck with women.

NONE EXISTANT!!!

Here is my first mistake. I had this female friend who I'd known for almost 7 years. We met with the intentions of dating. In the end....it didnt happen. Of course when we met I hadnt had a girlfriend before. Inexperience was the killer. Then on and off for the next 6 years tried to get with her. After failure after failure I tried looking at her friend pool. I figured if she really wanted to be friends she would be happy that I wanted to make one of her other friends happy. WRONG. I tried for one of her friends abour 4 years ago and found out recently that it actually pissed her off. After all this shit I find out shes gone bi on me. Not a big turn on but hey its all gravy. I met her girlfriend and we hit it off real well. Of course when I first heard about it my friend was tryin to get with a guy while dating this girl who had a bf. So i figured it wouldnt be that much trouble. Boy was I wrong. not only did I get shit from my once friend...but I ended up gettin left out in the cold by her gf. I no longer talk to my friend. I want nothing to do with that piece of white trash. I just finally saw what others saw in her. So I reconciled that problem. Although I still cant get her gf out of my mind. She just did something for me that no girl had done in a long time. Made me feel appreciated.

No. 2. Met this girl while I was working, I do drive thru so its rather easy to just talk to people. Now I did what I never normally do. I made the first move. Talked with her. Asked abotu her. Got where she worked and told her I was gonna come visit after I got off. She smiled back and giggled. I did what I said I was gonna do. I went there after I got off work and we chated. She gave me her number and we went out with a few of my friends that night. She confessed to one of my friends that she really liked me. Considering the friend she admitted it to was a girl it made me feel really good about it. Things went good for....about a week and a half. Suddenly I noticed things start coming apart. She never made an effort to see me or call me anymore. She started havin trouble with a guy friend of hers. I found out later they had a ****buddy relationship prior to me meeting her. He started goin after one of her friends. She said it didnt bother her too much at first. Then she reveals she actually wanted something from him, which was contrary to what she had told me when we first met. Then it was "I dont think im ready for another relationship. I'm just now starting to enjoy being single now that I'm not tryin to get with him. But I still want to take things slow with us." More or less....I can tel this is all bullshit. She lost interest.

I'm seriously just tired of women. I'm done being the nice guy and getting shit on. Yea I'm a nice guy but that doesnt mean I wont bit you damn head off if you shit on me. I'm not a wuss. I will do things for a girl sometimes even take it to extremes, (payed for a girl to get her tags renewed after only talking a week), but that doenst mean you can just toss me to the side and expect me to stay around. **** you. And good riddance in my view.

So any advice for a guy like me? Too Nice for his own good. But knows when he's being screwed over.
 Jarbarian
Joined: 2/9/2006
Msg: 373
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 12/11/2006 10:02:53 AM

I'm seriously just tired of women. I'm done being the nice guy and getting shit on. Yea I'm a nice guy but that doesnt mean I wont bit you damn head off if you shit on me. I'm not a wuss. I will do things for a girl sometimes even take it to extremes, (payed for a girl to get her tags renewed after only talking a week), but that doenst mean you can just toss me to the side and expect me to stay around. **** you. And good riddance in my view.

So any advice for a guy like me? Too Nice for his own good. But knows when he's being screwed over.


Question for you. Why did you pay for her tags after only knowing her for a week. Why did you do that and did you do it expecting something in return?

There's a thread entitled "Men: How to tell if you are door mat." Read it and let me know how many of those qualities exist in you.

Being "nice" is one thing, but doing nice things with some expectation of return is NOT being nice, it's being manipulative in a very, very bad way.

You don't want to be "niiiice" you want to be BALANCED.

There are many, many threads on PoF about nice guys/door mats and the like. Women don't want to be with men who exchange gifts or nice deeds for approval. You need to seek approval within and not from someone else and certainly not from any good deeds that you do.

Nice guys who get pooped on aren't nice guys, they are door mats. They are the ones who allow this to be done to them by having boundaries with holes in them. Shore up your boundaries and you'll learn to be a GOOD, well balanced man who can easily regonize when someone is not good for you.

Cheers.
 NocturnalPrincess
Joined: 8/26/2006
Msg: 374
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 12/11/2006 10:15:34 AM
JUST FRIENDS means she likes you but doesn't want to have sex with you.

You could hang out and stuff, but she doesn't want even a goodnight kiss. Buddies. Some schools of thought suggest that opposite genders cannot be friends like that. If romantic love is what you seek, then this is not the pasture in which to pursue.
 M-Town Loverboy
Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 375
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 12/11/2006 10:21:36 AM
To comment on what jarbarian said. I knew her for longer. We were just in the talking stages. And no I didnt want anything in return for the tags. I insisted that she not repay me for them. And I just was tired of people using her car and her when she didnt have tags. She was tryni to find work and it would have been hard if they had suspended her liscense. I did for her what I would have done for any of my friends.

Not to mention. We did have romantic interests. She expressed them verbally and physically. So yea I dont know anymore. Honeslty I was being more**** with this one. Not tryin to be the real nice guy like i normally do. I tried having nice tendencies while being a big over confident. But I also did it in obviuosly sarcastic ways as to get a laugh out of her once in a while. But you have to understand this about her. She had been abused by her last guy. And she was too submissive to her current gf. Which I think played a big role in how things turned out. You live and learn and all this is as far as my comment is to get some sound advice on how to read what women need contrary to the bullshit they tell you.
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