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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > When the girl wants to be "JUST FRIENDS"      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 azraiderfan57
Joined: 8/19/2006
Msg: 401
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDSPage 17 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)
Men cannot be friends with a woman they have no sexual interest in. A woman can keep a guy as a friend as long as the guy thinks he's gonna get some. Guys, count how many female friends you have that you would like to have sex with or see naked, then count how many there are that you have no physical interest in and you'll see I'm right on this one.

Women who say they just want to be friends, are working on their backup plan. If what they have working at the moment stops working, they need a fall back. OR she's an attention whore who is telling you that she likes your company as long as you're paying for whatever you are doing together and she has no intention of having sex with you. When a woman tells you they only want to be friends, it's time to move on. Don't be or even want to be any woman's second choice.
 pirate70
Joined: 12/18/2006
Msg: 402
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 1/4/2007 11:15:51 PM
All is fair in love and war. Their is no victims there is no one at fault in these rough times of good men with big hearts. You gotta always keep your guard up and always have the control. Dont control her just control the situation. It sucks because its like a game and no matter how much you dont want to play you have to play. You should never be the first person to profess your feelings and love for a girl because then its all over. It should be the other way around right. We're the men, we're the provider, we're the protector we're the hunter. Stand tall and proud let them know that nothing can hurt you whether its them or something else.
 mary27
Joined: 5/11/2006
Msg: 403
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 1/5/2007 1:50:41 AM
A big hug is sent your way,now as msg 402 said,when a woman wants only friendship,it is usually because she is not interested/or satisfied sexually.Either way it is what it is,be her friend BUT DO stop needing her.

Try no contact for a month,NONE,break the emotional habit,you just might meet someone in that time,after all,if all the time texts and phonecalls where put into finding another lady,you have a very good chance.....it can't do any harm.I wish you happiness and send you strength
 NocturnalPrincess
Joined: 8/26/2006
Msg: 404
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 1/5/2007 12:13:26 PM
I have a friend who is a 28 year-old man.

He just got "dumped" by a 27 year-old female. She was involved in an abusive marriage, and then another abusive relationship for 10 months, where the guy broke her nose.

I advised him that she is addicted to abusive relationships, and that he was guilty of being nice to her. It is a bizarre thing that happens, and this woman probably isn't even aware of her pattern. She also has 3 DUI's. Unfortunately, dysfunctions breed a lot of baggage.

My advice to you would be to step back and consider the advice that you would give a friend, because often we give good advice but do not follow it ourselves.
 aliciagrimm
Joined: 10/29/2006
Msg: 405
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 1/6/2007 11:07:40 AM
Life does go on. Men/Women that whole friends line is a cop out. No one wants to say mean things and no one has the heart to say right out - no i am just not interested - there is no love connection.

To stay really close friends with someone while you are pining away for them on the inside is crazy and not worth it. Chances are they won't ever change their mind so go find someone else. Stay friends - if you like - however limit the time you spend with that person. How many torment shakes can one person drink?

Her loss / his loss is someone else's gain.

Better question - why do guys actually say they love, insist they are over their ex girlfriend and never in love in the first place - then break up with you for no good reason just to run back to the ex they supposedly never loved in the first place??
 dbz77
Joined: 12/5/2006
Msg: 406
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When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 1/6/2007 11:21:22 AM

I was reading another post from someone in a similar topic and that person said that if you ever have had sex with that person ("the friend") then it makes it worse. Well just to carry on with my story....we only had sex twice and that was the very first night we met. Like I said before...I never got any type of affection after that except she would always talk about how good looking I am and funny and yadda yadda yadda...but yet she loves another man?!?!?!?!

Just find another girlfriend.


Michael
 Neil Levesque
Joined: 10/3/2006
Msg: 407
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 1/10/2007 11:12:28 AM
If at first you dont succeed, try try again. But after that, just give up. theres no sense in being an idiot about it
 majkiki
Joined: 7/3/2006
Msg: 408
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 1/13/2007 12:00:42 AM
I know, if you what you are talking about. But believe me, this is a problem on girls side too. I met a few nice guys also. But they didn't see me. They saw that somewhere there is a princess better or pretier. Don't give up. There is still lot of nice girls, one day U will find her. Good luck.
 majkiki
Joined: 7/3/2006
Msg: 409
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 1/13/2007 12:07:05 AM
Do you think, that guy shouldn't tell to a girl about his feelings? Do you think that girl should by the one to tell him about her? I was tought that girl never shoul be the first one. I think it depend on who is what kind of personality or what opinion he/she has.
 teddles
Joined: 9/13/2005
Msg: 410
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 1/13/2007 12:37:47 AM
I just heard about the 30 day rule after a break-up, which sounds very healthy to me. If the relationship goes into the friend tip, break off all communications for thirty days to begin to heal from having someone reject you. I've been on both sides of the fence and neither side is good! The key is being direct and telling the other person what you will and won't deal with. Men/women, my mom used to say are like busses, you miss one you'll catch the next. When things don't work out with one work on your self and get back in the game, because afterall, this is supposed to be fun, isn't it?
 mistifyme
Joined: 12/26/2006
Msg: 411
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 1/16/2007 4:06:47 PM
if there is one thing I have learned it's that we can't control our hearts. as much as we'd like to we just can't. there are times we fall in love with the wrong people but yet it still happens even though we know it's the wrong thing to do. why do you think there are so many affairs? It sneaks up on you, we don't MAKE ourselves fall in love, it just happens from being around someone we like and those like feelings grow and before we know it well...we're in love! the saddest part about this whole thing is that for many people we fall in love with someone who doesn't love us. don't make yourself out to be an idiot because you fell in love with someone who doesn't feel the same about you. You deserve someone who DOES feel the same way as you do, and that person IS out there!! :) Best of luck to you too, I know it's heartbreaking to let her go but you have to do it...
 mistifyme
Joined: 12/26/2006
Msg: 412
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 1/16/2007 4:11:27 PM
well I don't know the mens side of it but seeing as I have more men FRIENDS than women I am sure to aks them as soon as I see them! I am sure at least a couple of them will be honest with me since some of them I have been friends with for over 20 years! Nothing has happened and there are no sexual feelings going on either so I beg to differ on your idea of how women think about having guy friends. i truly enjoy having guy friends, I find mens conversations stimulating and funny since they are sodifferent from womens. I get a nice combination of conversations between the 2 sexes and enjoy them all. :)
 Pete7591
Joined: 1/9/2007
Msg: 413
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 1/17/2007 12:56:05 PM
Mr. Cusack,
I went through a similar experience with a 32 year old woman with paranoid schizophrenia.
This was about 3 years ago. The day after her and I linked, she phoned me and said there will be nothing between us and would be "just friends." I can feel your pain, Mr.Cusack.
 sparklingone
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 414
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 1/17/2007 3:03:44 PM
Hopefully he's ditched her by now. This thread is over a yr. old.
 mustlovedogs
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 415
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 1/17/2007 3:18:48 PM
I agree with the guys, you should at least try to go on a date with another lady that will help you alot is around the corner somewhere else where it's going to be alot less a hassle. You should stay friends though, down the road some. Give yourself some time to adjust to the idea of what friends really means. Just friends like your guy friends. And remember, if its really meant to BE.... it should be effortless at first that's real chemistry! Good luck
 starrww
Joined: 8/9/2004
Msg: 416
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 1/21/2007 6:21:21 PM
what happens when the guy only wants to be friends almost the same thing has happened to me my heart is bein ripped out of my chest it feels like we did talk on phone on line wrote to each other exchanged pics all the good stuff he send money to come see me to my surprise he only loves his first wife so much. and we told each other we loved each other all things like that. it really hurts i will not fall for no one again i am older then u but it still hurts no sex invoved from our point. but he did with his ex at xmas to help her out. so i know now he still loves her. ty for your comment it has made me see the light. but it still hurts big time
 M2k7
Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 417
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 1/21/2007 6:30:53 PM
Sorry to say this guy, but you have to let it go. You can probably be friends, but don't be as good as friends. She doesn't need to change the realtionship with the other guy because she gets all she needs emotionally from you. You're like her girlfriend, but you do guy things for her and she knows if she needs you you're there. Just don't make yourself available. Yes it will be hard. Yes you'll want to call her. But don't buy a puppy or join a bowling league. You'll feel better in the long run.
 Mayse
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 418
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When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 1/21/2007 6:51:46 PM
To the original poster, if you only read one message in all of this 14 pages let it be this one. Send me a private message and I 100% garantee you'll thank god you read this.
 rommel83
Joined: 11/17/2006
Msg: 419
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 1/22/2007 12:35:40 AM
Buddy if you nailed the chick the first time you met then I think your in love with the wrong one. If she did u the first time and has sex with some guy on a dirt road then sorry to have to tell you this but she is a slut. Just toughen up go find some more chicks, trust me there are alot out there!
 DAVID99
Joined: 9/3/2006
Msg: 420
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 1/22/2007 6:58:16 AM
I just went through something like this not to long ago.I met this girl 6 months ago and everything went well.She told me from the start she didn't want something serious but i didn't care i still wanted to be her friend.Well fast forward we spent a lot of time with each other,she called me every day and we would talk for hours she even had me sleep in her bed which she admitted no other guy has since she moved to chicago a year ago.She would put her head on my chest to sleep and put her arms around me.Again i thought nothing of it cause afterall she didn't want a boyfriend then we made out which had me thinking maybe this could be more then friends.I had all my friends saying dude she digs you when are you gonna go forward with this.I finally felt the need to open up to her and i told her how i felt about her.She says your a sweet guy but i cant give another guy a chance cause of how bad my ex treated me.I told her how about the signals she was giving off she then says those meant nothing she even had the nerve to say even if we had sex it doesn't mean we're together.Make a long story short was this girl looking for friends with benifets cause it seems like it.What confused me this past week she told me she was sorta pushing me away cause she knew i liked her as more then a friend ugh after all these signals could someone blame me for having feelings for her.
 mywarpedmind
Joined: 7/30/2006
Msg: 421
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 1/22/2007 9:31:52 PM
ever figure out how to get out of this trap?
 azza82
Joined: 8/12/2006
Msg: 422
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 1/23/2007 1:47:02 PM
dude that really sucks. although it sounds like she was playing you. you need to learn to read when girls do this a bit more earlier as there are ALOT of girls out there who will take you for a ride. Remember the golden rule...if it's too good to be true; it usually is. LOL. Nah it's not that bad but still there are alot of women who just use men out there (if not just as much as guys do vice versa). Women can be hypocrticial, contradictive and just as shallow as guys at times so be warned. Learn to read women a bit properly. If she takes advantage of you you need to realise something's up...
 stvrthebrit
Joined: 7/23/2006
Msg: 423
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 1/28/2007 4:25:51 PM
Cusack, if it's any consolation mate and believe me i personally know exactly what your going through, it's frustrating, it's hard and it's bullshit!! but i know exacty where you are, if you find the answers then for crying out loud let me know pmsl,
You're totally not alone in this mate, if ya need a bro to talk to who can totally relate then you can e-mail me, it's all good
 muttsie
Joined: 11/23/2006
Msg: 424
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 1/28/2007 6:18:50 PM
i mean, and i totally mean "amen" brother. i actually live with the person in question, and she even goes for the "large" guys, then gloats about it. hurts like hell. we are even gonna move in together in march. its the ultimate thing that really sucks. now, call this manipulative if you like, but im gonna try the push and pull theory. im gonna disconnect more from her and push her away emotionally. she will swim closer to me. if she bites my line in the future, then bang! ill reel her in! if it dont work, then thats my ace card gone. ah well. but there was no fault on my side. if she dont want me in that way, then what can i do? but im damned if im gonna let her take both wodden legs off me. i can always go to my regular bar and develop some other relationship in time. never lose your bearings to that degree buddy. take care!!
 doubleohseven
Joined: 3/7/2006
Msg: 425
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When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 1/31/2007 3:19:20 AM
She sounds like the type of girl you should avoid but if you insist then try giving her some of her own medicine,
Next time you see her bring along a girlfriend or at least another woman who will say she is your girlfriend to see what her reaction is.
If she doesn´t show any feelings for you or get´s jealous then she probably is not attracted to you, she seems to like married guys that treat her bad so either treat her like her married boyfriend treats her or forget her and move on.

doubleohseven
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