| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 1/31/2007 3:44:45 AM |
her and hang out at her house. I've done so much for her that I could write a book but not once did I ever get any type of affection or anything in return and
Maybe you should write a book about it. Quit feeling sorry for yourself and for wasted time. If not affection, at least get some money back from all the effort invested in loving one-way. | |
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| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 1/31/2007 4:48:15 PM | well im kinda guilty of that but you see if she showed you some type of affection she would givin you mixed signals like theres this guy next door who ive known a long time and i knew he liked me but i kept it totally platonic and he took me being nice to him as i liked him and i had to let him down i hated it but i thought i was doin the right thing by never showing affections like hugs or kisses and crap dont worry about it if u started talking to someone else she'd be jealous because she'd think u were over her so dont even sweat it handsome | |
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| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 1/31/2007 5:22:43 PM | | Man, so many things in here ring true with me and my (whatever she is today). But toss into the mix that we lived together and she is 4 moths pregnant with my child. And now I no longer live with her. She has turnd off all effection towards me. Hardly calls, msgs whatever. She says she just needs her space. Im very heart broken. | |
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| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 2/2/2007 12:06:47 AM | jp in reno:well in your case its gone waaaaaaaaaay beyond just friends..i mean friends usually dont impregnate eachother and live with them for a long time...that would be called a couple maybe *godforbid* the baby isnt yours and she's trying to distance you from her and the baby OR she coulda been like me when i was pregnant and hated being touched by anybody...i was quite the jerk...but it wasnt my fault it was horomones! | |
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| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 2/2/2007 8:38:52 AM |
friends is better then nothing
at least you get to be in this persons life
If he has a romantic interest in her and she just wants to stay friends, being in her life will hurt him far more than help him. | |
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Zain.
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Joined: 9/20/2005
Msg: 434 | |
| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 2/2/2007 11:20:48 AM | Ohhh those are words no guy ever wants to hear. It's just another way of saying that she doesn't find you attractive and doesn't want to date you. but she doesn't want to hurt your feelings. So she comes up with this "I want to be just friends" crap. which is totally transparent. Why do they think they can fool us?
"If he has a romantic interest in her and she just wants to stay friends, being in her life will hurt him far more than help him"
Totally agree. It'll just make him more bitter and just keep reminding him of what he'll never have. I wouldn't want her in my life after she rejected me. It would be too painful. I'd be able to forget about her and move on alot easier if she wasn't in my life. and find somebody who is ACTUALLY interested in me. | |
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| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 2/2/2007 4:55:43 PM | | The only problem with saying "f*ck it I don't want to even be your friend" is that, if she is actually a really nice person who makes a really good friend, you're losing that friendship. On the other hand, since I've been there, it is quite painful sometimes to "hang out" with a friend you wish was more than that, so it's not an easy situation either way. What it has seemed to boil down to for me is, which do I value more? The friendship or the relationship? So I've "dismissed" some people who have given me the "just friends" line without a second thought, and there's some that I've made a conscious effort to stay friends with because they are a nice friend. I may inside feel a little sad sometimes that this "friend" is just that, but I concentrate on the fact that a friend can be pretty valuable and awesome too. Or I just grab a bottle of rye and drink myself to sleep. Just kidding. | |
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| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 2/2/2007 6:22:42 PM | Yeah I've read this thread a bit and all I can say is on my "quest for love" I have made two of the best female friends I have ever had the honor of connecting with; No BTW they aren't on this site so I'm not lip-syncing for brownie points. One of these women I stated and attraction to some time ago and they accepted it and stated basically while there was an attraction I was not the right guy for them. I accepted it and now I'm glad because I talk to this gal almost every day and we are the best of friends. The other girl I just spent today thinking I would completely HUMILIATE myself with and destroy an otherwise perfect friendship but her value for our friendship overrode any distaste in my attraction apparently and we ended up having a good laugh over a 2 hour conversation today.
I've actually found two kindred spirits who don't happen to mind the fact that I would baal either one of them if given the opportunity and it makes for some pretty hilarious comedy between the three of us; So good friendships can stem from love I guess under the right circumstances.
As for the original poster to this thread yeah man I think you were being used big time. Maybe you didn't do it for her in the sac or whatever but remember the women often like masculinity even if they say otherwise. I've attracted more attention to myself in the dating scene posing as the arrogant fully-confident happy go lucky guy looking for love then I ever did trying to play Mr. nice guy and bending over backwards for people etc. etc. The women I've come across like confidence. Maybe the poster seemed flakey and her being a mega-b just played you for a fool. | |
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Zain.
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Joined: 9/20/2005
Msg: 437 | |
| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 2/3/2007 12:40:51 PM | | Captain, It depends on the person, Say I really liked a girl, and she had already found someone else she was dating then I can't really hold that against her. I didn't make a move. There is nothing I can do about that. but If I wanted to start dating her and she blew me off with the "let's just be friends" line She's pretty much saying I'm not good enough for her. Could you stay friends with someone after they just told you that? If yes, well then... it's your funeral. most guys wouldn't Then if it was someone I'd been friends with frends with for a long time. I probably wouldnt want to take it further because there is the possibility of it not working out. and the friendship being ruined. Or there could just be awkwardness "you're more like a brother to me" being told that is definetly better then being told you're not good enough for her. | |
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| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 2/3/2007 8:36:21 PM | | I dunno about that really... I don't think telling a person that you just wanna be friends means that you aren't good enough for them, it just means that they're not feeling the right vibe for intimacy with you. That's just a part of life - doesn't mean you can't be friends with a person... However, if I like a person more then a friend; but I can't have them, I tend to not really bother with them... simply because it hurts too much to be close to a person you yearn more from - better to move on and possibly be their friend in the future when feelings have settled down. | |
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Zain.
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Joined: 9/20/2005
Msg: 439 | |
| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 2/3/2007 9:41:12 PM | It would depend on WHY they wanted to be just friends with me. If it was because they didnt find me attractive or I didnt have enough money, wasnt this or wasnt that then I would cut them off without a second thought. I'm not going to waste my time with shallow people.
I'm also not going to be friends with them just because she's "nice" She'd have to be a VERY good friend in order for me not to cut her off. Look at my pics I have enough female friends I really don't need anymore. Unless it's someone I go back a long way with, If she isn't interested in me romantically I'm not going to waste my time.
That's just me. | |
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| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 2/5/2007 9:22:20 PM | | Like you said, it depends on the person. I've gotten the "let's just be friends" line many times in the past, and many of them I've said "buh-bye" for exactly the reasons you stated. Women will bring that line out and it basically means "I would never date you but I can hang out with you sometimes" and I don't need that. But, for example, way back in my grade school days I had an awesome female friend, but we never dated or anything. We were friends for a long time, and I did broach the idea of being more than friends but it never happened, and that was that. I didn't get all bitter and hate her for eternity. We just kept it at the friend level. For the most part, if it's a fairly new person and I get the "let's just be friends" line, I usually say "see ya." There's one exception in my recent memory, but it's not my normal way of operating. For me it depends on the girl. | |
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| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 2/12/2007 12:57:29 PM | | Am I the only guy on here who this has never happened to and knows how to get around it? I tell you what if I ever feel down in the dumps I just come to this forum and I feel all better. Haha just messin around guys. | |
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| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 2/16/2007 12:07:11 AM | If you stay friends with a girl you still have feelings for, how are you gonna react when she tells you that she's dating someone new???
That is the answer to everyone's question of whether they can still be friends. | |
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| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 2/16/2007 12:51:35 AM | Well I dont like the-" I cant wait until he ripps her heart out etc
Revenge.
What is it you think she has done wrong?
Shes been honest with you hasnt she?
You have helped her and been a friend to her> ; Thats nice'
Dont spoil what you have between you.
Good friends are hard to find.
If you cant cop it then move on.
Who knows .
Has it ever occured to you if you step back NICLEY she will run to you when shes recovered from a broken heart.
if you put preshure on her now you certainly wont ever stand a chance in the future.
Another thing.
You dont seem to be worried for her only angry with her.
Thats not love- or even friendship
I think she probably deserves better all round personally.
Remember- If you love something set it free - If it comes back good
If it doesnt it never was.
I think you need to search your heart and be honest with yourself
She hasnt hassled you to do thinfgs for her has she?
You have been tri[ping over yourself trying to win her heart
Your angry now becuae you cant get what you want. She ows you nothing.
Back off and maybe you might end up with the girl
Just not right now ok
Goodluck and I am sorry your sad.but better days ahead- I promise ok? | |
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| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 2/16/2007 7:06:18 AM | I FEEL being friends is great way to start a relationship but it is a first step to what we all want¸¸¸¸¸a partner to share your life with. Once you get past the first step and you mutually agree that you are good friends, one should attempt to take it to the next step. If you both realise that it`s not going to happen then you have to respect the decision and see if you are going to be happy and respect yourself remaining friends. Personally I find it very difficult to remain friends with someone I desired and has parted from my life.It has happened to me and my answer was...¨(AM I GOING TO HAVE TO LISTEN TO HOW YOUR NEW BOYFRIEND MADE LOVE TO YOU)--NO THANK-YOU ....Move-on....there is someone out there for everyone if you look hard enough..REMEMBER....CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS discovered AMERICA because he believed it was out there``( the fact that he was looking for India is totally irrelevant) You keep on looking you will find her..GOOD_LUCK | |
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| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 2/16/2007 1:23:38 PM | | That be my "Modus Operandi". Get to know them as well as they like as slowly as they like and eventually decide if you're gonna be just friends for now but leave the door open for more or not. You meet some women and will always just now them. Don't mean you can't hang-out and have fun and/or be there for them in whatever way necessary. That goes for "Friends" too. You just never know,one day they might just say gee... Be very,very cartful about the wanting and/or needing to be around "friends" all the time though. It sends the wrong message. Be even more careful about sending the wrong signals to "Friends" too. | |
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| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 5/12/2007 11:55:38 PM | | Im in the same boat there cusack. I've known this girl for 12 years and i guess about 5 years ago started likening her cause i broke up with my ex after 4 years..then until about 2 years ago i finally decided to tell her... and totally shut the door on my face. Never married. No kids. Was a virgin until she told me she had sex with a guy that she was dateing...but got scared and broke up with the guy. Shes 24 and lives at home. Still! Only its been 2 years since i've spoke to her. It sucks dude. Wish i knew what to do cause... i still love her! Last year when i came home i left a candy cane on her car. Which its my calling card. But, thats the only time shed tried to call me. But, i didn't pick up. Its just hard though to see something to beautiful just walk away when you were so close. she slight passes she would act as if it was an accident. The little kisses on the for-head when i brought her something. The...closeness at the movies... the look she gave my hand that was next to her on my knee. The deep stare in our eyes.. Were these signs? Least you know what it felt like to Be with her when you first met. I hardly got to hug her cause i was afraid to tell her how i felt. Now, when i go home this year. I figured i'll wait by her car one night when she gets off of work...and just not old back. She knows now... why not just plant one good passionate kiss.. then walk away. Only thing left to do really.. just surprise her ..then leave. That way I had the last say… who knows. I just want her to know exactly how I fell…and I figured doing that with the most passionate kiss I can offer her. Then let her decide. Peace Bro! | |
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| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 5/13/2007 1:36:27 AM | Hello Cusack
I met a woman many years ago that acted similarly to what you describe, when we met she flirted a lot with me and seemed to be very interested in me, there were other guys that were trying to flirt with her also but she seemed to like me best.
I also was very attracted to her and we went out a couple fo times and also spent some time at her place talking and messing around, the next day she decided that we should be just friends.
I fugured she was playing hard to get, so cooled off a little, things didn´t get any better.
She liked my company and flirted a lot with me but when I got closer to her she would back off, when I backed off she would get closer.
I decided that if she was not interested in me, she had a neighbor that was also attractive and flirty, I told her about it and she tried to hide here jealousy but didn´t do anything to keep me, so I went ahead and went out with her neighbor for about 5 years, anyway I broke up with her neighbor and she of course is alone and acts like she has someone, my only guess is that she is just a teaser like your friend , so my advice to you is to go out with someone else and let her know what she will be missing, find a woman or even a friend to go out with you and introduce her to your friend.
At least you will know if there ever was a chance with her or not.
Save her for a rainy day, you never know what the future might have, but don´t get your hopes up.
Gregory 007 | |
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| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 5/13/2007 7:26:18 AM | Cusack ~ Please don't be a sap ~ You got some nice memories ~ you'll have many more before your race is ran. ~
The women let go a little tail ~ and your infected with the dumb ass ~ might be why she just wants to be friend ~ she is definely a player ~ she's not looking for what you are looking for ( at this time). ~ I don't see how you can fault her.
Be thankful , be a friend and move on. If you are a good enough friend she might let you back in ~ maybe ~ but you gotta chill ~ Bill,
Move on
Dar | |
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| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 8/20/2007 4:12:24 PM | | sounds to me like this lady doesn't want any long term commitments or anything serious,and that's ok....there are a lot of men on here who feel exactly the same way...and nobody complains about them....if you think about it,we all use people who are in our life,whether it be friends/lovers/husbands....when we feel that we are being used we get disappointed and frustrated,but we all use people for something...otherwise they would serve no purpose in our life....but,being used is supposed to be good for us,makes us feel good about ourselves...maybe we shouldn't use the word,rather change it to "help" in some way and there are lots of them...we all provide our services,whatever they are....if you are doing things for her just to get into her pants,she will know it,so I suggest that you start looking at it in a different way....love grows this way....for yourself and for others...maybe you are an idiot in your eyes and looking for people to tell you that....first of all,it is none of their business because they don't know you or the situation and really shouldn't/can/t,tell you what you should be feeling....I have found that if you really care for someone,they may not know it really,because there are only so many ways that people can act towards each other,so it takes time for the other person to really trust your feelings...a friend is much better than a lover....I think that to be called a friend,is very special....friends last,lovers don't...unless they are friends too....be true to yourself...so many people aren't and they lose out... | |
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| When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 8/20/2007 7:45:14 PM | Sorry pal, but a bucket of cold water is probably the best treatment for you.. so here it is...
[and she said that she didn't feel the same way but really liked me as a friend very much]
Ok, there's the baseline. She was honest with you. Many aren't.
[So I've spent all this time still in love with her ]
Ok, you made that decision, she didn't. Sounds like you didn't believe her. Or were in denial.
[So yes....I definately know what it is like to love someone and have your heart ripped out and handed back to you.]
Ok, this is so typical of us guys. And why women think we're predators, idiots or just plain ignorant.
So you really want to believe that she is doing something TO you? Come on now...
[but she would end up making me change my mind. ]
I don't mean to be sarcastic here, but ... I wonder how much of that you were doing to yourself as well...
[Love sucks...... ]
Love? I saw no evidence of love.. maybe a few other things, but love? I have to wonder... | |
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