| what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 4/30/2008 7:34:20 PM | Halleluiah sister!........together we shall inherit the earth.....!!
(ummm, it's not going very well, so far I've gotten a "didn't yur mama teach ya any manners?!" and a "yeah, it's really me in that pic-bubye"........oh, and one "I'm sorry, I'm not that kinda guy"........I'm crushed....
WTF....?! | |
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| what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 4/30/2008 7:45:29 PM | Oops I typed so quickly and then rushed off without checkig my post. I didn't catch my typo. Sorry about that.
S/B
Many people on here have no manners. Either that or they are stuck up and think they are too good for anyone. Hence, they don't bother to respond.
FYI, I am busy than most people. In spite of this, I respond to ALL e-mails even if it is just to give a polite decline. It takes just a few seconds to be polite. | |
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| what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 4/30/2008 8:25:12 PM | ^ ^ ^ ^ Oh My F@#$@#* God. You guys are so inspiring  .
Since no one from the "other" camp has experienced awakening, I think I'll step up! This is my one chance to channel previously misguided passion and energy to "better" myself. I think I've seen the light !!! No longer will I expect an acknowledgement of a polite email. I shall consider myself fortunate if I notice a read/deleted, and really blessed should I notice an unread/deleted. I shall remind myself that my sole purpose for signing up on a "dating" site is to be relegated to constant ignominy. Not only that, I shall actively enjoy and revel in it. I shall quit "whining," and go get myself a "life." I shall be a happy, cheery little maggot. | |
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| what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 4/30/2008 8:58:44 PM |
Hold a door open for someone as you enter/exit a shopping mall (or anywhere else for that matter) and see how many of them actually acknowledge you and say "thank you"!
You'd be suprised but how many don't.....some even just give you a funny look (as if they've just gone senile and lost their mind completely)
I totally agee with this....this is something that actually makes me furious...not sure why, but it does. I noticed it happens in the more wealthy areas!...I feel like they expect for people to do it for them like it's a daily routine they got use to and dont have to acknowledge it as an act of kindness...urg!
But to answer the question....I think people 'assume' that if they don't write back that the other party will get the hint that they're not interested. Imagine this....you check your email (that you registered with POF) notifying that you got new mail on POF and you think it's a good one...but in turn it's a 'thanx but no thanx' instead...how'd it make you feel?! I can see why the other party who got the "thanx but no thanx' email will be p/o n write a nasty email about you being shallow...yada yada yada....they prob think that you think you're doing them a favor by being 'polite' n resonding with that! (Did that make any sense?! hee hee). In cases like those, I'd rather not deal with it n just read/delete...less drama. I'm not saying that it's not rude for a person to not respond back, but it's the internet...you gotta pick your battles. | |
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| what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 4/30/2008 9:00:58 PM |
^ ^ ^ ^ Oh My F@#$@#* God. You guys are so inspiring .
Since no one from the "other" camp has experienced awakening, I think I'll step up! This is my one chance to channel previously misguided passion and energy to "better" myself. I think I've seen the light !!! No longer will I expect an acknowledgement of a polite email. I shall consider myself fortunate if I notice a read/deleted, and really blessed should I notice an unread/deleted. I shall remind myself that my sole purpose for signing up on a "dating" site is to be relegated to constant ignominy. Not only that, I shall actively enjoy and revel in it. I shall quit "whining," and go get myself a "life." I shall be a happy, cheery little maggot.
Welcome to bliss BROTHER!....................... | |
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| what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 4/30/2008 10:12:43 PM | Mo,
I'm not exactly sure what you are smoking over there brother, but whatever it is hasn't anyone told you it's rude not to share?! Pass the cheeba ffs. I don't see any justification for that little rant of yours out of left field. Either you completely missed the laughter in my previous two posts or you just love the sound of your voice, or in this case the sight of your text, that much that you felt it necessary to rant about nothing.
I posted in here laughing about read/deleting Nona but I see it no where. Me thinks I goofed and posted it to the wrong thread. Somewhere in this place there are a bunch of people scratching their heads at the sight of my post. | |
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| what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 4/30/2008 10:24:29 PM |
Oops I typed so quickly and then rushed off without checkig my post. I didn't catch my typo. Sorry about that.
S/B
Many people on here have no manners. Either that or they are stuck up and think they are too good for anyone. Hence, they don't bother to respond.
FYI, I am busy than most people. In spite of this, I respond to ALL e-mails even if it is just to give a polite decline. It takes just a few seconds to be polite.
typos? YOu must mean TYPE O as in blood type as the idea of typos is the least of the problems on this one.
glad you came back to fix that typo up and clarify the situation for us.
not that you are judgmental or anything...... so...
do you think you are a tad bit judgemental or anything?
they are stuck up and think that they are too good for anyone.
That is the only reason you can come up with as to why they don't bother to respond.
how about:
1 . their momma didn't raise them right.
2. they must drive SUV's
3. they kill puppies.
4. they lack compassion for dying guys...
5. they fart and belch a lot.. thus contributing to global warming.
6. dem nasty ho's and btihecs.
If you were really polite, then you wouldn't decline anyone. After all, you are on a dating site so you must want to date. Surely, you don't expect to have YOUR own standards be used to pick the men with whom you date? now did you?
Why lump it in under stuck up? What about those other valid reasons? NOt that you are judging them as then you would be guilty of doing exactly the same as what you are accusing them of doing.
Funny that!..
But that is beside the point.
So, if that is beside the point, what is on the other side of the point? a recipe for chicken? or instructions on how to upload videos? | |
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| what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 4/30/2008 10:26:15 PM |
^ ^ ^ ^ Oh My F@#$@#* God. You guys are so inspiring .
Since no one from the "other" camp has experienced awakening, I think I'll step up! This is my one chance to channel previously misguided passion and energy to "better" myself. I think I've seen the light !!! No longer will I expect an acknowledgement of a polite email. I shall consider myself fortunate if I notice a read/deleted, and really blessed should I notice an unread/deleted. I shall remind myself that my sole purpose for signing up on a "dating" site is to be relegated to constant ignominy. Not only that, I shall actively enjoy and revel in it. I shall quit "whining," and go get myself a "life." I shall be a happy, cheery little maggot.
its a pin worm..
you'd be a happy cheery little pin worm..
when you get real good, you'd be a maggot.
YOu've got a long way to go. | |
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| what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 5/1/2008 4:17:29 AM | | I agree with you No batteries...I always respond..even if it is to say I am not interested. However, I believe many people forget their manners when using the internet | |
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| what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 5/1/2008 4:34:11 AM | msg (7) Perfect !! I like your comparison to net surfing, to passing a stranger on the street. Again Perfect!! It makes some of us more super sensitive souls out here,
realize that indeed we haven't been yet rejected. You can't be rejected by someone
who doesn't even know, or acknowledge that you are there. I like it !! | |
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| what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 5/1/2008 4:49:51 AM | [qute]anyway.. I apologize for the spelling errors with your name. [/qoute]
This is getting out of hand!!!!
The second time?? WTF?? How is my sarcasm, by the way?
Hey,where is the box?? Messed up again.And I was doing so good...
Oh, I see, I misspelled "quote"..Anyway,back to the post...
Chicken recipe,and USB thingy?? Hm... This thread is fun to come back to...
Thanks for a laugh, YA'LL.
Nona37, I'll take a #2, because in it you say, "maybe some other time", so that's not really the rejection.  .Leaves room for hope, you know.
YOU got a read/deleted? Need a shoulder to cry on?
Nah, you will be OK. | |
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| what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 5/1/2008 5:26:04 AM | | I don't know them...I don't really care to know why they're not interested, I have enough of my own insecurities without adding theirs to my overactive brain, and as far as I'm concerned if they don't respond they then have in fact said Thanks but No-Thanks!!! Enough not said!!!!!!! | |
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| what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 5/1/2008 5:30:40 AM | A "no-thanks" is no big deal, but I usually go a step further and give some indication as to why I'm saying "no thanks". I just think that's the kindest way to say it.
For example, if it's simply because someone lives too far away or if the age difference is too much, why shouldn't I say so instead of having the guy wonder if there is something about him personally that wrong?
I think it's human nature to people to wonder why someone chooses to reject them outright when there is absolutely no indication of why.
Then again, that's just me.
Soleil | |
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| what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 5/1/2008 6:30:34 AM | Z,
I will stick with just Z for now until I get over this .
Your sarcasm is great.
YOu use the 'right ' kind that really hurts no one and you have put in just the right amount.
You could probably TEACH people on proper Sarcasm etiquette. You missed an entire thread of about a zillion pages (closer to maybe 20 actually) where some of the people who loved using sarcasm were discovered to not enjoy receiving sarcasm or having sarcastic remarks directed towards them, even if only indirectly.
I truly don't see why you are being turned down as you seem to be a likeable enough sort of guy. YOu can laugh at yourself- you don't laugh at others. You give people the benefit of the doubt- you dont'; jump to conclusions, you don't believe that your posts are any more important than anyone elses . You can take advice and don't take criticism to heart to any great degree. Criticism always hurts, no matter how well meaning it is, some people can simply apply it better to themselves. YOu are one of those.
Its not your online persona that is prompting this as you seem to be a good guy to hang with.
I am thinking that your profile must be part of the cause. I have an idea about something that may be an issue but it be best to have it said in an email...
Wouldn't want to give the losers Unlimited the 'secret'....not that it is any secret..
....secret disclosed at the end of this post...
NOt that I can impart anything of any value and I certainly don't have any great inside knowledge but I can offer my opinion . YOu can discard after you read it, or delete it unread.. I won't be offended...heheh ehehhe
I am thinking of starting a Whiners Unlimited Club . For men initially but as enthusiasm growns, I will bringin a club for women.
Bitter Lemons and Sour grapes will be offered to each member.
Badges and pins to be awarded to each member who successfully turns off a certain number of women.
The Vezina trophy will be awarded to that special individual who has successfully been rejected by each and every woman he contacted.
The ungentlemanly misconduct award will go to that special guy who successfully stalked and harassed these nasty women until he has been blocked by at least half of his initial contact.
Shoulders to cry on and wet blankets will be provided. For a fee .
soggy toast soaked in milque will be served for breakfast as it seems appropriate.
I see great growth potential in this club.
I see it going GLOBAL actually. Big stores emblazoned with WHINERS across the top. But I won't be selling Brand name clothes at discount prices. NO... offering solace and hope for whiners everywhere.. and there will be boutiques within that cater to those who specialize in whining about non-dating related activites.
Got a "look" from a stranger that offended you. We can handle that one.
Did someone not give you the "WAVE", after you let them get their car in front of you in traffic? We have a boutique for that.
there is no end for this sort of whining combination potential.
Are you a WU?
the cheer is " Wu Wu.. wouldn't you like to be a WU too?"
sung to the tune of Dr. Pepper ( copyright ) | |
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| what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 5/1/2008 2:29:27 PM |
I think it's human nature to people to wonder why someone chooses to reject them outright when there is absolutely no indication of why.
Then again, that's just me.
Why are these wonderful women live so far from me?? | |
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| what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 5/1/2008 2:48:15 PM |
truly don't see why you are being turned down as you seem to be a likeable enough sort of guy ..Who said I am being turned down?
I am thinking that your profile must be part of the cause. I have an idea about something that may be an issue but it be best to have it said in an email...
...I think what I am saying in my profile is a HUGE part of it. Whenever I starting to talk to a women, I feel like she really didn't read my profile, because she asks questions that were answered in my profile. Mostly about my daughter, she just doesn't understands, that I have her every weekend, so if she wants to hang out, we have to do something that is appropiate for a 7 years old..She asks if we can just be alone for a weekend, and my answer is "Thanks but no thanks"
Do I want to have a relationship with her..Again.."Thanks but no thanks".
And if I am being turned down for these reasons, it's not realy a turn down, it's more likely we want something different..But I still would explain to her, if needed.
That's my story, and I am sticking to it.
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| what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 5/1/2008 4:08:22 PM | Z,
lol..regarding " who says I am being turned down?"
Yeah, it seems like the wrong people , not saying that they are bad people, jbut as you say, they may want different things but hope to convince you that they will fit in with your life or that you will try to fit in to theirs...
This sounds like the guys who show up 30 pounds over and 3 inches short ( um.. there is a joke in there but I am not going for it ) , or the guys who try to convince the women that their sparkling personality makes up for the lies about their job/physical condition/shape or whatever else.
It is possible that it could happen. But not likely in your case since your daughter is clearly important, as she should be.
Most people would find that admirable and it is.
It was clear to me from the beginning that many men who are the troublemakers don't read anything on the woman's profile. or they have a memory of a mosquito (or whatever animal has a real short recall or attention span ).
Maybe this is true for the women as well although few men have complained about this as often as the women do of the men. The women don't scream about this: they just bring it up in the threads as one behaviour of the men that can be tiresome. They are not complaining loudly but often enough to be seen as consistent.
Z, its all good .
on with the show. | |
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| what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 5/1/2008 4:20:20 PM | | Well i have a different spin for this topic... why can't a sorry I'm not interested suffice? there are so many times i've written that short but sweet thanks but no thanks, and they keep on, until i have to be a bit rude. | |
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| what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 5/1/2008 4:23:40 PM | No Angel in jeans, it is not the same thing as a stranger approaching on the street. Here you have specifically asked for replies. That carries with it the burden of politeness by thanking the person for the reply. You can limit the people who respond by saying you are only interested in men under a certain age, or only those who love to hike, or whatever. But most ads don't bother parring it down and when a person who you might not care to date, responds you should acknowledge it with a short thank you. I see women grousing about the fact that no one writes anything--why should they when the receipient is just as likely to read and delete. It takes an investment of at least 15minutes to write an intelligent missive. That effort should be acknowledged.
If the message is two or three words or is crude rude or profane, then clearly you are not required to write back.
For those that do not take "no" for the answer, you can always block further inquiries from them.
I do commend you for answering 90% of your emails, but I did want to address the stranger in the street remark. Thank you. | |
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| what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 5/1/2008 4:25:58 PM |
truly don't see why you are being turned down as you seem to be a likeable enough sort of guy. YOu can laugh at yourself- you don't laugh at others. You give people the benefit of the doubt- you dont'; jump to conclusions, you don't believe that your posts are any more important than anyone elses . You can take advice and don't take criticism to heart to any great degree.
feelin' kinda hot for "Z" now................whew....
I have recently found a very polite "thanks but fuk you" works very well.....;) | |
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| what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 5/1/2008 4:42:40 PM | I totally agree! I have responsed to every single e-mail I have gotten. It's common courtesy.
Coincidentally your blog is good timing as this just happened to me yesterday. I never really thought that it was that big of a deal until I came accross this scenario: Due to the users preference settings on receiving incoming e-mails requiring a certain number of characters, I was forced to write a few paragraphs just to get it approved for sending. I spent a little more time than I wanted to and typed up a little more than I would normally write in an initial contact message, which actually kind of made me uncomfortable, because after all, I was merely wanting to introduce myself....but I got the READ, DELETED. lol -
Anyway, the fact of the matter is, if you are asking someone to type a longer e-mail to you, at least respond back with a, "no thanks, I'm not interested" - this was the only incident on POF so far that had me a little irked.
Remember people, be courteous and friendly!
The READ DELETED crap is just as annoying as if you were opening a door for someone and that person did not say thank you!
Or just as bad as saying hello to someone in public and that person just walks on by like you didn't exist - I actually don't get too worked up when that happens because I personally think it is amusing, and I actually go out of my way being extra friendly to those people who are rude.
But what it comes down to is, bad manners tells a person a lot about the type of person they are and the lack of class they possess in their character. In other words, if they do the READ DELETE, they probably aren't worthy of dating you. | |
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| what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 5/1/2008 8:02:04 PM |
But what it comes down to is, bad manners tells a person a lot about the type of person they are and the lack of class they possess in their character. In other words, if they do the READ DELETE, they probably aren't worthy of dating you.
In showing the other side of the fence here.....if someone doesn't respond, they more than likely feel the person they do not respond to is not worthy of dating, otherwise, they would respond wouldn't they? | |
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| what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 5/1/2008 8:20:03 PM | I generally respond to all emails I receive with at least a polite "thanks, but no thanks." However...if the email I receive is so rude or obnoxious that it doesn't warrant a polite response, then I will simply "read/delete"...NEXT.
Rudeness from someone else doesn't mean I have to try to build a bridge across their stupidity. | |
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