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neroli
| | Joined: 12/9/2005
Msg: 76 | |
| | Relationships / Anti-DepressantsPage 4 of 8 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8) | | Maybe if there wasnt such a stigma to having a mental illness, more ppl would feel comfortable about talking about it, the thing is, its one of those illnesses you cant see and its hard to understand unless you have been there yourself | |
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| Relationships / Anti-Depressants
Posted: 12/12/2005 4:40:45 PM | | Personally i would like to know.Sooner the better...I will never have any thing to do with a woman that goes to a wacko doctor and believe everthing he siads....I got better things to do with a space cadet(Poping pills,Drug addict)Sorry been there done that...I refuse to believe by taking the wacko drugs is the answer...Just because a person got a piece of paper on the wall does not mean crap to me.....It is all a money racket and people do not realize that...Well in Europe they are starting to banned these drugs...THANK GOD!!!...I Knew a girl in 20s that took these great drugs you are talking about...Talk about a space cadet..Regular doctor jekyle and Mr.hyide...No thanks..I will never go through that again...But if the next man want to deal with that...Go for it..To each his own.. | |
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Posted: 12/12/2005 4:59:56 PM | | Nature.....I agree completely. And I dont think anyone needs to bring a medical chart to thier first date. I am arguing against those who say someone who is depressed has some massive unfixable issue that they cannot deal with. Thats just ridiculous!!! Many relationships have been wrecked because of UNTREATED depression. And it happens sometimes quite without warning. People should not be quick to judge those who are on such meds, or so quick to judge the meds themselves. If you need the meds, they work. If you dont, they dont. Sometimes the results are unpredictable and you have to work with a Dr to figure things out and get them right. But depression, situational, and chronic, is NOT a personality disorder. And it is so common that I cannot see ruling someone out who has it. This is why I say that I really dont see why everyone makes a big deal out of it. | |
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Posted: 12/12/2005 5:26:29 PM | | no, actually, buddy, it isn't the answer but right now it helps far more than anything else i have ever done over the last 23 years. but i guess you wouldn't know what it is like to live like this on a daily basis. i suggest that you pray that you, and those you know never will. | |
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Posted: 12/12/2005 5:39:48 PM | | I am just wondering why Europe is banning these drugs if they are so great.....Personally i would not give my dog these drugs....Yes you are right..I have never been on these drugs,I just been around people that do these drugs and i just do not think being a addict the rest of your life is the answer...But then again it is your life...Life is choices...And i choose not to deal with somebody on these drugs...But then again if the next man want to deal with it...Then go for it...I got better thing to do with my time.. | |
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Posted: 12/12/2005 5:41:27 PM | i have ever done over the last 23 years. but i guess you wouldn't know what it is like to live like this on a daily basis. i suggest that you pray that you, and those you know never will.
Due to the stunning compassion of his post..I admit I am going to have to pray the opposite. hehe J | |
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Posted: 12/12/2005 6:05:32 PM | I'm a smoker and I see lots of people on this site that are not interested in being with a smoker. I respect their choice. I wouldn't go hide it from them in the hopes that maybe they'll love me enough to eventually overlook it. Neither would I try to hide it from someone who doesn't specify a preference. What you see is what you get. I think I should be able to expect the same from someone I am dating more than a couple of times. Being on anti-depressant meds isn't necessarily a deal-breaker but neglecting to tell me until well into the relationship is one.
jmo. | |
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moxmox
| | Joined: 12/2/2005
Msg: 86 | |
| Relationships / Anti-Depressants
Posted: 12/12/2005 6:24:36 PM | I have told dates and potential dates at various times from right away to 2-3 weeks into the relationship that I was bipolar and on meds (for 8 years) good credit, I adopted 2 kids as a single person (that means approved by social workers and background checks) stable as a rock for years, never lost a job etc...and was chucked every time by each date. I have bipolar 2 ...the less severe version with no psychosis.
Go figure.
Maybe someday... | |
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Posted: 12/12/2005 7:44:54 PM | Yes, well the europeans also have mad cow disease and a host of other problems. Following them is not the answer and many things that are off the market here are available there. So I would say, as a rule, that the opposite of what you say is true. Again, I will say that people who are willing to treat a problem, and I specifically mean depression, not all the other disorders that people speak of, are better off than those who are embarassed by it. It is a medical condition, same as anything else. Do you mean to tell me that if you have an infection, you would not take an antibiotic?? Its the same thing man. You are treating it differently because you dont understand it.
Believe, I will also tell you, that if I wanted happy pills, I would drink a couple beers and pop a lortab. These drugs are NOT happy pills that send you into never never land. It just shows some of you people have NO idea what you are talking about. Sorry, but you just dont. Thats the fact and it shows. Dumb asses!!! | |
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Posted: 12/12/2005 8:39:27 PM | | I dont believe EVERYONE should be on them. What I say is that people who are on them are NOT crazy and not suffering from a truly massive disease which others need avoid. And it should NEVER be put in the closet and not talked about. As for Paxil, I know the side effects. Ive been on it. Ive been on lexapro, which is quite good. Ive been on prozac, which doesnt seem to do much. Ive been on zoloft, which is also quite good but is more active on anxiety than lexapro. The side effects of paxil are like this. You are hungry....I mean all the time. And people mention the sexual effects.....they are severe. No such problems with the others. Not to a great degree. Now, no one, at all recommends that you get off these drugs all at once, and for some people, they are a lifetime thing. Thats the way it goes. Your Dr SHOULD know how to wean you off of them, if they feel you are past the problem which caused the depression. But understand, many people cannot even get out of bed or leave their house. It certainly is not something that should go untreated. And I feel that scaring people off of these drugs, or shaming them into the closet, when they are already depressed, is just wrong. It lacks simple human kindness, not to mention any understanding of the real effects of these things. I have lived on and off these drugs. Depression, in my case, is highly situational. So there are times when I may need it and times when I dont. In women, post partum is very common, and these drugs can help with that. I just dont feel that it is fair or accurate to call a depressed person crazy, or to call zoloft a happy pill. LOL These drugs just dont work like that. OK...I have to go because I need to speak with someone special.....Bye guys | |
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Posted: 12/12/2005 8:45:40 PM |
Yes, well the europeans also have mad cow disease and a host of other problems. Following them is not the answer and many things that are off the market here are available there.
 That was not a good reference to make being that it is only the general US public that is not aware of prevalence of Mad Cow disease that actually exists in the good ol' U.S. of A. Being that you are completely ignorant of that, it isn't surprising how blind you are of the detrimental effects of many of the so-called wonder drugs being poduced by the American companies to treat all these depression disorders.
As another poster has already noted these drugs have severe withdrawels that make coming off them as bad or worse than heroin or coke. That I know from having been with people when they were going through it. Not a pretty sight having to see somebody coming off of a drug that their doctor has been feeding them for years that made them into an emotional basket case while they were being used as a human guinea pig for whatever the "flavor of the month" concoction that some drug company came up with.
Your attitude towards it is not surprising however. It is normal for someone in the middle of their addiction. You will see it in a different light if you ever come off them. The partner you are with at that point will have to be exceptionally strong to be able to ride it out with you. That is from experience. | |
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Posted: 12/12/2005 8:49:45 PM | [/does sheep]
What's wrong with that? Oh, wait, I think I'm in the wrong forum. I meant to click on'Freaky Deaky Circus Sex'. My bad. | |
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Posted: 12/12/2005 9:19:11 PM | ~ Judgemental People ~
To the responses who have no understanding. Although, you are entitled to your opinion and we are all allowed the grace of accepting someone elses views on things. I wonder if you have ever tried to walk in someone elses shoes. Society has built up such a stigma for those who are on any type of anti-depressant medication.
Funny, how can someone be so understanding of a alocholic who belongs to A.A. Most open minded people don't judge that person, we actually give them credit. Which I definately think is right, just to set the record straight. Getting to know a person in a dating situation and getting close to that person over a period of time, takes time. Building trust in a relationship is something that also takes time. A medical condtion such as depression or having to be on anti-depressants is not anyones fault. I think it is the person that is doing the judging is the one with the problem. Soon, as they say, maybe they will have an injection that will help produce seratonin, just as a diabetic has their insulin. Thought this was an open minded society, guess I was wrong. ) ; | |
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Posted: 12/12/2005 10:23:32 PM | I am just wondering why Europe is banning these drugs if they are so great.....Personally i would not give my dog these drugs....Yes (,) you are right..I have never been on these drugs,I (have) just been around people that do these drugs and i just do not think being a(n) addict (for) the rest of your life is the answer...(b)ut then again(,) it is your life...Life is (about) choices...(a)nd i choose not to deal with somebody (who is) on these drugs...(b)ut then again(,) if the next man want (s) to deal with it(, t)hen (i say) go for it...I got (have) better thing (s) to do with my time.. to simply and politely express an opinion on the topic of dating an individual who is taking anti-depressants is one thing - to insult and pass judgement on people whom you have never met is entirely another. i don't give a rats ass about some strung out weirdo you met. i am not strung out, nor spaced out - and i would suggest many other posters who have admitted to taking them or that know someone who does aren't either. i also do not recall anyone saying that anti-depressants will make you an addict for life. some will remain on them for life and others will go off them - hopefully whilst under professional supervision.
and sunfishone, while its sad that you have had bad experiences, not everyone has or will. and not all will suffer severe side effects. | |
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Posted: 12/13/2005 2:16:55 AM | Well as a person who has to live his life day to day with the knowledge that I will be on medication for my depression I find it a little diheartening to see how many people are so judgemental about this subject. Some people say that oh your just blue, or hey man those drugs are not the answer, and one of my favourites All you need is a good group of friends to talk to about everything. Those things may be true with some people, but they are not the best advice to give to someone who may have a serious mental condition. There are varrying extremes of most diseases and yes depression is an disease. Comments should not be put out there with-out the background knowledge of the person they are being made to or about. I do not claim any of you hear have done that, but it does happen quite frequently.
As far as dating goes, I put it out in the open right from the get go that I do have to take medication for this problem and unless they come up with a miracle cure nothing will change this. It amazes me how many people think this is 'too much baggage', but only after you have had to drag it out of them as being the real reason you don't work. Depression and various other mental disorders/deseases/illnesses/pick PC Term are things that people can live with, and live well with. If they take the time to do personal research into all the things your doctor is perscribing to you. I read all of the material I can about a drug before I take it now-a-days because of one doctor, who wanted to use me as a clinical study for paxil. The exact drug I shouldn't have been placed on, if he would have read my file.
I guess what I am saying is don't judge until you know all the facts, and find out all of the facts before you decide. This goes for both people who are interested in someone who is on these drugs and those that are told to take them. | |
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Posted: 12/13/2005 4:54:14 AM | I agree with taurus516 that mental illnesses should be disclosed when you see the relationship is going somewhere.
I too was married to someone with bipolar and had i know beforehand I could have educated myself and limited the damage. Their behaviors can be too erractic if they choose to go off meds or have the wrong combo, that is no way to begin a new relationship.
Besides honest communication is vital to any relationship and if you don't tell that(serious illness) is not honest commnication.  | |
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Posted: 12/13/2005 6:42:40 AM | If I came off as lumping all depression suffers into a category of "crazies and dysfunctionals",I'm sorry,it was not my intent.I only meant to convey that one should be straight up when dealing with a potential mate.When I brought dates over to meet my folks in the days when my dad was drinking,I warned them right off,"Hey my dad's an alcoholic,if he seems loopy and silly or he seems like an azzhole,just pay no attention".Usually it made no difference and we laughed it off.I do NOT mean to suggest that people who suffer a disorder,something with which they have no control over is an inferior choice for a mate.Indeed,most of the people I know who suffered depression were extremely intelligent,creative,funny,talented and for the most part,incredibly good looking.After my ex left,my mom,who was very judgemental on my ex wife read Danielle Steele's nonfiction book,His Bright Light,a tragic story of her bipolar son.It put things in perspective.
All I'm saying is that a person should be informed as much as possible before making a choice that has the potential for effecting the rest of your life.Perhaps if I had been informed about my ex's condition as well as her mom's schizophrenia,I could've done something beneficial before a dysfunctional marriage crippled me financially.One person can't help another person if they themselves become disabled.
It should be no different than if you get involved with a person with a heart condition or diabetes.I think the stigma on mental illness sucks too. | |
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Posted: 12/13/2005 6:53:00 AM | I’m a horrible mess without my lil’ blue pill. I need it to help my mind slow down some - otherwise it works like a bullet train passing through a still photo (credit to my therapist for that one).
f I came off as lumping all depression suffers into a category of "crazies and dysfunctionals"
Sure would explain a lot with me, though, huh? | |
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Posted: 12/13/2005 7:24:35 AM | I think that there are alot of things that are not discussed or disclosed in relationships that should be in the open. Children, drugs, values ect.
As for the anti-depressants, My doctor put me on them through my separation with my ex 2 years ago, at that time I told her I didn't want anything that would cloud my decisions, she told me that they would actually help keep me level and stop my constant weeping. guess what it did. She told me that it would surprise alot of people out there if they found out how many people and who are taking such drugs and will be for the rest of thier lives.
Most anti-depressants are there to help level off a chemical balance which is in everyone, called saratocin (sorry not sure of spelling). Some of us simply do not produce enough of it. Some need insulin because their body's chemical imbalance, or any other kind of drug for which our bodies don't produce enough of.
I wish I had known about this years ago, I was always the person who eveyone would say smile it can't be all that bad. Now I know what was needed. I haven't been asked that question in 2 years. I take a low dose of Effexor every day. I am a responsible mother, employee and person.
If I find a relationship that I feel is going somewhere I would tell them about it. I am actually proud of myself for who I am. I don't carry my past baggage around with me. I treat others with class and grace. I much prefer the person I am now, I don't let as many little things bother me as much. I used to let too much get me down.
Society for far too long has made it extremely difficult for people to deal with their issues of the mind. Why is it we attach this stigma with depression.
I think some of the problem is how people handle the drug, using it responsilby. just like drinking too much alcohol ( a depressent ), smoking of any type or use of any other type of drugs.
I try to exercise as often as I can, drink very alcohol little, safe sex, try to eat a balance diet.
I don't smoke, or take any other type of drugs. | |
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Posted: 12/13/2005 8:23:45 AM |
Society has built up such a stigma for those who are on any type of anti-depressant medication.
Really? I don't see it. Not many people disclose that they are on anti-depressant. And when for some reason that knowledge is available, I have never seen severely negative reactions. It's not like people gossip about it. WTF? It's more taboo to wear clothes that don't math than to be on anti depressants. Really, where do people get the idea that people on anti depressants are badly stigmatized? It's all in your head.
and sunfishone, while its sad that you have had bad experiences, not everyone has or will. and not all will suffer severe side effects. No, not everyone will. But it's not worth the risk... unless you are severely and DESPERATELY in need of help. According to my doctor, 50% of all people on anti depressants have no response at all to the drug. Another fair percentage only experience side effects and nothing more. Only about 40% of people actually experience positive results (ALONG with side effects, AND withdrawal effects). Therefore, if you want to go on this stuff just to "cheer you up a bit", then you're a fool. You don't need it. Only if you are truly in NEED of this medication, should you consider it. It's not so much the side effects of the medication that bothered me so much, it was the withdrawal!!!! I'm telling you, it is TERRIBLE!!!! Doctors try to downplay the side effects and withdrawal, passing them off as rare and being about as severe as the effects of a sugar pill. Don't buy it. I'm telling you, the withdrawal is serious shit!!! Just google withdrawal and the name of ANY SSRI medication, and read the never ending horror stories. I'm not the one who makes this up.... I am just one of thousands who have experienced it first hand. I do not exaggerate when I say that the withdrawal effects of getting off an anti depressant were worse than trying to get off crack, not to mention much lasting about 10 times longer. As for Paxil, I know the side effects. Ive been on it. Ive been on lexapro, which is quite good. Ive been on prozac, which doesnt seem to do much. Ive been on zoloft, which is also quite good but is more active on anxiety than lexapro. Man, they can ALL have bad side effects and withdrawal. Yes, paxil just might be the worst of them all, but they can all be terribl. Just google any anti depressant and side effects or withdrawal and read about it. Don't go thinkin that paxil is the only bad one. They are all bad. | |
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Posted: 12/13/2005 9:20:52 AM | "therefore, if you want to go on this stuff just to "cheer you up a bit"then you are a fool.You don't need it.Only if you are truly in NEED of this medication,should you consider it."
i for the most part agree with this statement.Many people are on meds bcuz they feel a bit unhappy .I don't consider this foolish on thier part.At the time someone goes to a doc for thier depression ,it's all they can think about & relief is all anyone wants.HOWEVER there is more to working out depression than just taking a pill,which most people won't do.It is the responsibility of the doctor to inform you of all your options & to encourage you to do them.
Unfourtunatly many people just want the quick fix.
The above statement is more to do with the people who just want to cheer up a bit.Those that suffer from serious depression /chemical imbalance are in need of meds.IMHO i feel too many people are on meds they just don't need. | |
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