PeterC
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Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 226 | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/23/2008 10:13:30 AM | 24 and guilty as sin as well...however I left home for high school when I was about 15 and paid rent and my expenses on my own for a room and boarding situation. Recently, I've moved back home with the rentals however like others have stated, it's a financial thing. Personally, I'm not mooching at all (I'm an unfortunate soul who's parents do not allow anyone to mooch from them, kin or not) and carry my own weight while here and I will admit it is strictly for finances. Changing career paths is expensive (going back to school) , therefore my savings are growing faster here than they would if I was living on my own.
If someone is in a similar situation, who am I to judge? No one can unless they know the situation at home. So no it wouldn't be a turn-off for me. Mind you if it's a case where 'son' can't break away from mama's ta-ta's, then I'll be judging. But this isn't always the case (sometimes vice versa! haha just kidding). | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/23/2008 11:08:40 AM | Anyone want to judge me. I don't care really but I hate to be misunderstood. After my divorce I had to move back home... let me rephrase that. I choose to go back home. I put myself on a financial plan and now hope to buy my first home next year. Now if I decided to move out and pay rent, that is money down the toilet, suck it up for a couple of years and handle my debt and savings and in the end I will have a major asset that a lot of people out there who rent will not have.
Although I toss and turn with the idea daily thinking that with today's housing market is absolute killer and renting may not be a bad idea.
It has nothing to do with mooching because it's your family and everyone contributes. I know i do. Of course the big disadvantage is total privacy. Hey I know it sucks and I am not exactly thrilled about it, but dont attack my character for something so trivial.
Now of course there are others who live at home and treat it as a resort. Which I would think is unappealing because if they depend on their parents for everything 'homely' then that would just translate into a relationship and expect the same from their partner. I think thats the fear with people who date or avoid others who live at home still.
Dont group all of us. Everyone has their reasons. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/23/2008 11:13:40 AM | [But one of his friends did tell me that it had something to do with him needing to be there for his mom. Definately a mama's boy.]
since when is respecting your mother, a bad thing? | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/23/2008 11:20:39 AM | I agree with the many posters who have called a spade a spade: I am turned off by the judgemental remarks about those who are living at home. There are many reasons for doing this.
My mother has been sick. She and I both are fortunate that I'm at home to make sure she's okay etc. Fortunately she is now doing better and I plan to move in another couple of months or so. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/23/2008 11:22:06 AM | | There is a big difference between respecting your mom and being a mama's boy. If someone fails to separate the 2, it's their own fault. One shouldn't waste their breath and time to try and convince someone of why it's okay to live at home or why it's okay to take care of mom/dad. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/23/2008 2:22:40 PM | | When i was 27 i dated a guy that was 27 yrs old he still live with his mom he didnt pay rent he didnt work when he did he gt paid under table an lived tween his mom an his sisters an from what i heard he still that way today hes disabled suposedlys . I thinks he gets ssi but the all of it that ticked me off he was getting 275 dollars of food stamps didnt pay rent didnt pay any bills . And when i lived at home i gave my parents 375 dollars a month of my social security so i cld helps outs . I broke it off cause he asked me marry him then few months later changed it he just wanted live together as friends . His mom was a controlin witch an he was a horid mommas boy cldnt do anything without her permission he wanted move in with me but his mom told me that if we did she wanted control my money i said no cause i been handling my own finaces since i was 18 yrs old an i wldnt trust that family with ten foot pole cause they are always getting evicted out places an i been able say at least i not been evicted anytime in my life an i been on my own 8 yrs an i have never had move back mom an dads . I have had go stay a few days tween moving out one place cause i cldnt stay where i living cause place was makin me sick bads . He had every sorta comp thing that was new an the lastest video game players but he wasnt a grownup at all . So my advice is if someone is living at home an not working or not helping be carefuls an if it gets serious make sure he has money somewheres coming to him so u dont be stuck with bills cause even if she or he is disabled they shld be helping somehows to help who ever he living with . And if they dont u better off alone then with a mooch . | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/23/2008 2:44:05 PM | | What about those people who are trying to go to college full time and cannot afford to spend time working a job just to pay bills so someone who doesn't like roomates or whatever won't throw a fit when they come over. I mean come on people do you immediately have to take a quick look at something, taking what "it is" at first glance so you can find all kinds of ways to tear them down with your negative judgements to give you the illusion somehow you are "better" than they are so you can sleep better at night? For crying out loud people...... for those of you who have tried the single life while trying to go to college these days, it's no picnic. Most of the times these days you need a roomate or spouse to help pay the bills... and more so if you are trying to go to college full time while trying to have a house off campus grounds. So give the people a break because often it's not how it appears so quit tearing others down on some ego trip... | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/23/2008 3:41:36 PM | | I can understand abt being a college student an not being able work a job there shld be a exception for that . But i have known college students that lived at home that didnt work but they helped their parents out a lot i know my older brothers did . | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/23/2008 3:47:25 PM | | Do you know for sure he is mooching off his folks? Does he not have a steady job and simply feels that he could save some extra money while living wiht mom and dad? I don't see anything wrong.... | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/23/2008 3:53:44 PM | I haven't read all ten pages here but I live with my Mom . I'm disabled and have more income than she does plus she is 75 and diabetic and needs the extra help. I grow a garden here and do most everything outside and even help with the inside things. My Mom has not paid a bill of mine in ages although I do help her with groceries and whatever else she needs. Before the prescription plan got here, I helped her buy her meds.
I would also say this, if I met someone and move to where they are, I would have to come here and help my Mom a good bit. My Mom is important to me and I stand with her when she needs me. I just know that family is important to me. I would also help my partner with her family if needed. Team effort I guess.
My thoughts.
Dale
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/23/2008 4:05:42 PM | | The guy i was talking abt he was mooching he didnt have work at all. His mother bought everythings . I can und abt disabled people being home an paying there share of bills an i think family is the most imp thing i still go home help my faamily outs when they need me to .I am disabled to but i believe anyone caan help out an take care things that live within a family unit . | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/23/2008 6:58:27 PM | I think it depends on personal circumstances a lot. A lot of people find it repulsive when people live at home with family when they are still over the age of 25, but people may do so for a range of reasons. It is likely to be true some are lazy and depend on their parents, but in a lot of other cases, we need to look at other factors such as the cost of housing or whether the person is on a very low income for some reason (such as due to them pursuing college education). Housing and rental accomodation here in Australia are extremely expensive because of a big shortage, so a lot of people have been forced to live with family, as owning your own place has become very hard to do, unless you have a very high income. Landlords here in my home city at the moment, so I read in one newspaper story, expect tenants to have six months rent in advance (along with the bond) when bidding for a place. The standard rent here is about $300-400 per week, which on top of the rising cost of petrol and food, is very hard for a person on a low income to afford. I also read in the paper where only one in 20 or so of people aged 20-39 owned their own place.
If we want people living separately, then we need to work on initiatives which make it easier for people to access housing, especially for those in low incomes. People in such situations also should consider shared housing and accomodation rather than living at home.
If we are judging someone to be a 'mother's boy', we are describing a psychological pathology rather than a living situation. A man who is 40 years old but still only does what his mother tells him, as a Catholic Bishop writing in a book said, has problems. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/27/2008 2:51:40 PM | To: folkgirl
I'd be seriously running in the other direction if a guy in his 20's had a curfew!! If he's living at home but can't live his life that is pretty pathetic.   | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/27/2008 3:12:50 PM | | i am 27 and i still live at home,because of this i stand no chance at getting a girlfriend and i like it that way,honestly if all a women wants is the highest class of men then they can have it ,sorry girls but i refuse to worship you,whether it be from pornoz or dirty magazines you simply are to materialistic and i am sick of classism to the point where i want to die to get away from it | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/27/2008 4:07:46 PM | If "rent" is too much for you in the area that you live in to afford...then you either need to move...or live more within your means.
Or...and I hate to say this...live w/ another adult roommate.
You could move but I doubt you could find a place for much less anywhere else unless it is in the ghetto where the housing is horrible. Even with a roomate it is alot to pay for a place plus there are other costs food, car, phone. It would nice if it was that easy but it is not. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/27/2008 4:40:42 PM | Would a teepee or tent be considered sufficient housing for those on the go traveling around the world
Seriously though, would there be any women out there willing to live out of a tent and hotel rooms for a few years while the two of you tour the world? | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/27/2008 5:38:20 PM |
I see absolutely no reason why it would even be a problem, most Adults who live at
home do so as many simply cannot afford the high cost of living, or maybe the're on a pension or disability , also just because someone lives with a parent, doesn't mean they
they're leeching, most of them simply considering it sharing a place,similar in a way a roommate would be to them with both members being quite independent of each other and not running each other lives , and sharing the place money wise, ...
well said  | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/28/2008 8:27:42 PM | It's a big turn off, let me tell you. I just got out of a relationship with a guy because he was 31 still living at home, he drove his daddy's truck. Used his parents as a live in babysitter and collected child support for his son but didn't give his parents a dime!!
I have lived on my own since I was 17 and now I'm 34 and a single mom doing it alone. I think there are some situations where you may need to move back in with your parents but not to be a mooch!! | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/29/2008 1:15:31 AM | | People don't like this because they know how much money the adult is saving while they spend all types of money on rent and mortgages. I know guys who still live with their moms and they have nice cars, cute girlfriends, and pleny of money and time to relax. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/30/2008 9:45:41 AM | living at home can be a turn off at times but totally beneficial to the person living there if they're actaully striving to make somethin of them selves and whatnot, living at home is always cheaper than living on ur own... or with roomies. my older brother lives with my parents, him and his wife recently seperated, goin thru hard times, tryin to get back on his feet. so its beneficial to him. the younger sister however, both 20 and still live at home juse because... *sigh* i am physically not able to work, there-fore i am on disability for the time being... i am the one that needs to be living at home... but i am not. i have a roommate and yes i do struggle... but i like living on my own and to stubborn to ever move back home.
guess it all depends on how u look at things. or am i just totally off topic!? lol  | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/30/2008 12:42:35 PM | | I am 21 and lived on my own but i was so poor i couldn't buy groceries my mom bought me 50 bucks worth of groceries for a month....I am spoiled i will admit it i live in a house my parents bought me and i don't pay rent when i am broke or have no job....I have a car i can use anytime i want i pay nothing to use it or repair it if needed...I have learning disabilities but i never tell employers unless i have to....I haven't had a job since October but there is no job for women especially around here. ...i have had 4 bf and was engaged 2 times but it wasnt due to having any money or when i didnt have a job...oh i have dated 3 ppl who lived at hom still age ranged from 26-30 years old...so yea. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/30/2008 1:55:53 PM | Mom and Dad worked hard for you and for themselves, now get your cheap, lazy a$$e$ out and support yourselves and let them enjoy what they worked so hard for instead of leeching away their savings and goodwill like a bunch of parasites.
If you are over 20 and living at home without a good reason like a disability or going to school, it is high time you grew up and got a life. Get your fat (_|_) away from the computer and TV, grow a backbone and find a job and a place to live. Whatever happened to the desire for independence and the ability to stand on one's own two feet?
I hear young people moaning about not being able to find a job. I have found jobs for them but they wouldn't take them because "it's not what I am looking for." When it comes to paying the bills and preserving a feeling of self-worth, I will take whatever I can get at the time and look for something better as time goes on. Whatever happened to pride in oneself and one's ability to be self-sufficient. | |
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