| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/30/2008 2:00:46 PM | I look at it as: Are they taking advantage of a nice situation or Are they just lazy, jobless living off their family?
It's not a turn off if they are trying their best to save and buy their own home. I call it smart. | |
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PeterC
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Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 252 | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/30/2008 2:12:19 PM | | I have a problem with adults living at home with Mom and Dad unless they are helping their parents out due to some situation or if it's a temporary situation they are working to improve. I see too many people that just live at home and never think about supporting themselves. This is a big problem to me because I don't want to be anyones mommy. If they are used to being taken care of by Mom and Dad, it is likely they aren't going to be really good at taking care of themselves. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 5/16/2008 12:05:47 PM | | i take care of the house i live in and am one day going to buy it from them....I take very good care of my self and my dogs.....I may be "spoiled" but it doesn't mean i like it....i will one day take care of myself and my one day have a family without the help of my parents....I will make enough money to be carefree and happy one day.....i hate relying on other ppl for money or food.... | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 5/16/2008 12:14:40 PM | I have to agree with everyone here in that if you are sponging off ANYONE, it is wrong. If circumstances arise and you need help then do it. But also do things for them to show you are respecting them as well.
I prefer living on my own. That's just me. As of right now, me and my daughter are roommates. When the time comes and we can be on our own then I will definately look for my own place. She and I like running our own household our own way. Just don't take anyone for granted or else you lose your own self respect. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 5/16/2008 4:57:55 PM | Whenever this subject comes up, it annoys me.
I don't see how the assumption can be made if an adult (male or female) could otherwise support themselves living on their own, be considered a mooch if they live with family.
I live on my own in a city far from my friends and family, barely surviving. There are days I work long hours, but for what? I am for the most part lonely and in debt. Somehow that makes me "better" than someone who might be living with their parents, sharing expenses and keeping each other company.
If given the opportunity, I'd move back in with my parents (and grandparents who live with them). To me family is important, and I know that when I'm around my "Nanny" is happy. When I'm there, I cook (made an amazing turkey for Thanksgiving and Christmas), clean, diagnose their technology problems. I make a great babysitter when the grandkids are around, take the dog out for walks, and simply bring happiness into the lives of my aging grandparents. I would probably be there right now if my mom didn't have the attitude a lot of people have here.
My aunt (who is unable to have kids herself) and uncle have his sister and her kids living with them. Yes, the single mother could get her own place, struggle to take care of two kids, with my aunt and uncle living on their own, each having their own expenses. Instead, they together with 3 incomes bought a nice house, and my aunt and uncle help with the kids. To my aunt it's like having kids of her own.
In today's world, with prices for everything rising, does it make sense to "live on your own", when you can instead combine expenses and the household as a whole can weather any financial troubles that might hit the economy.
Family is the single most important support structure we have, and a lot of the "welfare" that the government seems "obligated" to provide could be eliminated if we took our family support seriously. Society would be far better off in my opinion. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 5/16/2008 5:10:23 PM | If you are over 20 and living at home without a good reason like a disability or going to school, it is high time you grew up and got a life. Get your fat (_|_) away from the computer and TV, grow a backbone and find a job and a place to live. Whatever happened to the desire for independence and the ability to stand on one's own two feet?
Nice you are so mature calling people names and making assumptions. What are you like 6 years old. Just because you live with your parents does not mean you are not independent. I live with my parents but I pay for everything i own. I pay rent, I pay gas car insurance, anytime I go out to eat I pay for that. Of course douchbags like you would never know that.
I hear young people moaning about not being able to find a job. I have found jobs for them but they wouldn't take them because "it's not what I am looking for." When it comes to paying the bills and preserving a feeling of self-worth, I will take whatever I can get at the time and look for something better as time goes on. Whatever happened to pride in oneself and one's ability to be self-sufficient.
Taking what you can get usually mean not enough to live on. It is hard to find jobs that pay enough to be on your own. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 5/16/2008 5:38:49 PM |
I don't see how the assumption can be made if an adult (male or female) could otherwise support themselves living on their own, be considered a mooch if they live with family.
If someone is living with their parents to take care of them, and they tell people that upfront, then I doubt any assumptions are being made. But, I do have to admit, I wonder too when someone is in their 30s and NOT just living at home to help their parents, then why would they be doing so if they could "otherwise support themselves" as you say?
I live on my own in a city far from my friends and family, barely surviving. There are days I work long hours, but for what? I am for the most part lonely and in debt. Somehow that makes me "better" than someone who might be living with their parents, sharing expenses and keeping each other company.
No, but it would make me wonder just WHY you were in debt (as you say) merely because you were living alone? You can't put rent on credit, sooooo....obviously the debt is accruing from somewhere else, hmmm?
For myself, yep, I would wonder about someone who wasn't looking after their parents, but were still living at home, in their 30s. I'm sorry, but I would. And, I find it funny that mainly only the people who ARE still living at home (with no mention of looking after elderly or sick parents) are taking offence to that idea. Great, you pay rent....couldn't you pay rent in your own place the same way though???  | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 6/17/2008 8:20:02 AM | | sbnt, you are talking about people who work and contribute to the household. The ones that i am talking about are the ones that do nothing, don't work, don't contribute and are a drain on the household. They sleep half the day and sit on their asses in front of the TV or computer for the other half, whining about what they don't have. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 6/17/2008 8:42:45 AM | Mooching is wrong.
Disabilities work, although if they are so bad she/he had to live at home that would probably be turn off itself.
Saving for important things such as a house/schooling is also understandable. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 6/17/2008 10:07:02 AM | | I would also point out that if you are living with roomates that is not really independent because you are relying on them to help pay for stuff. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 6/17/2008 10:17:45 AM | I am 32 and I moved my son and I back home with my parents a few years ago and am not a mooch at all. I pay a few hunderd dollars in "rent" every month to help cover the utilites, along with paying for my own car payment and insurance, internet access, half of the groceries, we take turns doing the cooking, I do mine and my sons laundry. I am trying to save for a house and that was just hard to do living on our own, paying rent and utilites and daycare. I'm also going back to school at night and my parents are generous enough to keep my son since I am in school until past his bedtime because I work all day and go to school at night.
We work very well together and I think it is a great thing for my son to be able to see his grandparents every day and I've also heard my parents say how lucky they are to be able to watch their grandson grow up and be such a big part of his life. Not many grandparents can say that. My parents are still young and love playing with and being around him.
I think I am very blessed and I always make sure, if I am chatting with someone, that they know I live back at home, I'm not ashamed of it. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 6/17/2008 11:01:44 AM | | It is a turn off. It makes me think why are they looking for a relationship when they can't even manage to live life on their own? | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 6/17/2008 11:23:24 AM | | Mv wife and i are seperated because 2 of our 3 sons are quite content to live with Mommie. These are my step sons although I raised them and consider them my own. They have "failed to launch" 4 different times. We have bought a number of cars for them etc. No girls wish to date them for very long, they don't keep a job etc. My wife told me she was going to "prepare them for manhood". My other son is married, 3 kids,works every day, etc. For the ones of you who live at home because it's hard. Grow up!! My boys can't afford rent but can spend 200.00 on a bar tab! I moved out when I was 18, when back for 2 mo. a couple of times. But I pay my own way in life and don't make excuses. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 6/17/2008 11:27:34 AM | If you live with your folks for whatever reason, good enough reason for some or bad reason for some, and you are a male, it's a turnoff for most women.
In the end, as a male, you are going to be penalized for not making enough money period. Doesn't matter why. The only exception is going to be if you are extremely handsome compared to the looks of the woman in question. If you are the hottest guy she's ever seen or been with, she might bend some on your living situation, otherwise it's no dice.
Most people out there are not looking for partnerships, they are looking for what they can get out of a relationship. Most women, I suspect, don't even realize some of the straight up cutthroat things they do for the sake of having a certain lifestyle they desire or think they are "entitled" to in life.
You could be a guy and Mom and Dad might be sick and you need to help, most women will say "That's so sweet" to your face and go on and sleep with someone else. Anything that takes away time or attention or money away from most women is a potential relationship deal breaker.
They won't come out and say it, but that's the way it really works. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 6/17/2008 12:46:53 PM | | I agree absolutely!! It's one thing if he's just staying there for awhile to get back on his feet but it's another to live there and never plan on leaving!!! | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 6/17/2008 3:18:07 PM | | If the guy is mooching off of mom & dad, yes, something is definately wrong. However, mooching is not always- or even often the reason for this living arrangement. Many parents are getting older and health conditions arise. My brothers and sister have their own families so it has fallen onto me, when I moved back from California to Michigan settled in this area, that as the only single sibling, I was in a position to care for mom & dad. Being 47 years old, I have lived on my own for 21 years. My dad had Diabetes, macular degeneration, artificial knees, bad back & disabled shoulder. Mom has severe arthritis in her low back, vertigo, and needs two canes at all times to get about. The way I look at it, they gave the best of their lives raising us kids & being there when we need them, so in this situation, I believe it is only fair tat we do the same for them. This shows the same responsibility as it would to raise children (more so because of the emotions involved while you watch your own parents' health deterioating. However, if a guy is just mooching off his parents, he is not only being a burden to them in their golden years, but he is robbing himself of growing up. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 6/17/2008 3:20:28 PM | | Thank you. After why don't people 'judge' an older couple who (usually because of financial or health reasons) moves in & lives with a child. They do not get judged, but if the adult child lives with them, that is when the judgements fly. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 6/17/2008 4:48:14 PM | But I really enjoyed my independence--and I still do--and I needed that space to get my education; and even though I worked through school, I graduated Cum laude. It can be done.
No such creature as independence...
Yeah, we work, come home, & then endulge the worst in human behavior...
Have crooks/ thug(s) in our town(s), in office, in school(s),in work places, in the media & do quite well & look all cum laude...
& yeah, could easily sink a shallow women....
But, hey, @ least I don't live @ home...
Lol..
Come on ppl...think now, think...
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 6/17/2008 4:50:43 PM | However, if a guy is just mooching off his parents, he is not only being a burden to them in their golden years, but he is robbing himself of growing up.
Yeah, but, will we ever grow up...
Cast off our vainity... & get real.. probably not..
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 6/17/2008 5:08:22 PM | It is a turn off. It makes me think why are they looking for a relationship when they can't even manage to live life on their own?
Relationships rn't exactly loans...
Nor is banking a relational life...
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 6/17/2008 5:33:31 PM | ^^^ NO, that is not wrong... this is about full time moochers that take up residence with the folks. Easy C3.... breathe.
Bonding via real estate... interesting....
Realtors rejoice...
The hippie lookin' c3, don't know if he had parent(s)...
or 1's that believed in grooming..
Do Ya'll have any photo(s) of Ur wonder homes, btw?
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 6/17/2008 5:43:03 PM | I agree absolutely!! It's one thing if he's just staying there for awhile to get back on his feet but it's another to live there and never plan on leaving!!!
it's their money, why not... the banks benefit anyway, when we leave...
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 6/17/2008 5:51:34 PM | | i am 19 and still live at home. i wish i could afford to move out but around michigan you really can't get that good of jobs. i am trying to pay off my credit cards so i can start saving money to get my own place so hopefully within the next couple of months i will be out. i am also a student and had to pay for all my schooling by myself. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 6/18/2008 1:44:15 AM | | What really annoys me is the fact that a substaintial number of young ones who HAVE "moved" out are actually a bunch of insufferable $%^&*(s who have a blazing row with the parents and move out under those circumstances. | |
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