| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 6/17/2009 8:23:34 PM | How long is livin at home acceptable after a tough time with an old relationship? I have recently broke up with my ex and due to him not having money to pay bills, I did and now I am in debt at the moment and at home...I have maintained independence for a while but now have lost it in a sense...how long is too long, its only been a few months and I plan on it being about 6-12 months to get back on feet...am I one lof the moochers?  | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 6/18/2009 5:39:52 AM | | sunshyne....If you are putting some money away every payday to make it possible to move out in a reasonable amount of time, then no you are not a moocher. Are you giving any money to your parents to help offset the costs of water, electricity, food, etc etc??? If you are, then again no you are not a moocher. But if you are sitting on your wide glide and letting them foot the bill for everything....Then yep you are a moocher.... Any more questions? | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 7/1/2009 12:06:54 PM | | I agree that it is a definite turn off if he/she is simply mooching off the parents, but I believe that there are other, more acceptable reasons as well. I just leased out my own house and moved back in with my dad to be with him because he is sick. I know that as soon as I tell a guy that I am living at home that many times I will be judged for it no matter my reasons, but I stand by my decision. My dad did everything for me and I would never hesitate to give up everything for him. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 7/1/2009 12:43:43 PM | | it depends there are always reasons....if their reason is cause they like living at home..then yes its a turn off!! I love my moms house, but I LOVE my own place more! | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 7/1/2009 6:47:35 PM | | You have to look at circumstances. I face the prospect of moving back home with mom. It's not a certainty, but it's definately a possibility. Not because I want to be there but because she may need someone to live with her. I also could be taking care of my grandmother. I love my own place, I don't love my moms place, but I can live at moms if she needs me to. It's all about the circumstances surrounding a situation. Have to take things into consideration. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 7/2/2009 9:13:48 AM | | I don't think you should judge someone on that...allot of people moving back home now...plus...there are many people that are very family oriented and want to live that way and have no intension of moving out untill they get married and that doesnt imply that they mooch they just prefer to stay home and there parents want them there too...so don't judge a book by its cover | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 7/2/2009 10:56:02 AM | I'm going to disagree here .. on some levels. Yes if he or she is still living at home with parents providing and still acting like a kid or mommas boy yes big big turn off.
However, I moved in from Colorado Springs to live with my Mom, because she called me home. She asked me to live with her, but really it was so she could avoid going to an old age home and needed a caregiver. That ended up being two years! Not only did my entire life change from active and free to do as I please... to working around the clock with a heart patient and the job was far more then what I ever could imagine. All of my friends did NOT understand why I couldn't just leave her alone for a few hours.
Men ran out of patience waiting for me to find a spare min to myself just to meet. Entire days working around her. I didn't have the heart to place her in a home. All of my brothers and sisters kept on working, kept on living their lives as if nothing happened. It was a change for me not them.
I didn't live "off of her" I took out some of my savings actually a lot of my savings! I paid myself well for the job I did staying home with her. Ever have a senior that thinks money never ends lol they order a coffee just because and never drink it. Online courses became my best friend.
But in the end.. when my mom passed away? I had 9000 videos clips and pictures of her that all the rest of the family cried over. All I heard was I wish we did that with mom, I wish my kids spent more time with her and so on. At the time I was ridiculed for quitting my job and moving in with my aging mother... was told to "get a life" but in the end I got the biggest blessing. Memories...something they don't have.
So like I said... it depends on the situation. Don't judge anyone until you know all the facts.
Would I do it again? Damn right I would! | |
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| Especially when he claims to be an Legal Counsel for a company that does not exist.
Posted: 7/2/2009 12:01:51 PM | Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Yes there is this gorgeous looking guy, Tom that has a sex adiction. Found that out after only 2 months that he is living with mommy and daddy and not employed at all. He tells everyone he is a lawyer, but he omits he never passed the bar. 
Turned me off completely! | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 7/5/2009 2:05:50 PM | Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 2/4/2006 7 06 PM
i could never live with my parents. it's just not right. most other animals make their young leave the nest. it's not healthy for someone to stay at home. it doesn't seem to be a normal part of development. i have only met 1 guy that was still living at home at 40. i think he had problems. he didn't socialize much.
 We are humans not animals there is a big difference. We are a lot smarter and can think for ourselves. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 7/5/2009 2:14:25 PM | I live with my parents, I would rather be on my own, and I fought not to move back for the last year, while other people told me it was probably a good idea.
I finally did recently. Got a new job the next week, a job where I work from 8pm-2 or 3am every night. I have a 3 and a 5 yr old. I go to work, and grandma puts them to bed, in their own beds, in their room every night. I come home, tired, and don't have to move sleeping babies, take the babysitter home, whatever.
I help with the bills, I make meals, my mom watches the boys. It is working out for now.
I certainly don't plan on being here too long, but, it is where I am now. And, I know that would be a turn off to some men, but, that's ok. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 7/5/2009 2:20:08 PM | it depends there are always reasons....if their reason is cause they like living at home..then yes its a turn off!! I love my moms house, but I LOVE my own place more!
 Thats great if you do not like your parents or have problems with them some people love living with their family and enjoying the time they have together. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 7/5/2009 2:54:26 PM | | I moved home for a while because the **** hit the fan in my life. For starters my father seriously needed physical help, my five year co-hap relationship ended, I had to change careers because I developed carpal tunnel, and then my Dad passed away. I was a wreck and didn't date much, of course. I moved out after I got back on my feet. I would however be hesitant to get involved with someone who just likes living with the P's. I could mean that they are lazy and lack the motivation to take care of themselves. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 7/8/2009 7:51:08 PM | I think it depends on each persons personal situation. Also, these aren't exactly the easiest times to be living on your own with only once source of income. I personally could care less if someone I dated or was seeing still lived at home. It does make things easier having your own place to go, but I'm certainly not going to judge someone on it.
I have a younger brother that just bought a house at the age of 23. He didn't have much of a choice in the matter, he had to in order to keep his job as a city worker.
I however, the eldest, am still living at home. It's not because I'm lazy or don't have a job or no ambition to move out. I just recently paid off my college loans (2yrs), I have a full time job, I'm responsible, I help my parents, but I would rather save for a house than waste money on rent for an apartment. Many of my friends that have moved out when they were in their early 20's are right back at home with the parents. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 7/9/2009 11:21:55 AM | | I agree with Beer shark as times have changed. Kids move out the second they graduate and don't really have a clue about life. Then there are those who find themselves in a bad marriage and need to provide financially for the kids and to provide stability with help from the grandparents. It is not easy nor fun being a single parent. It also speaks volumes that we find we could go back home and communicate with out parents and find that new respect we somehow lacked for them or took them for granted. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 7/11/2009 2:52:57 PM | | I absolutely agree. If he's moochin off his folks, and you're supposedly lucky enough to 'get him' to move out and possible marry you, he'll mooch off of you too. Dump him. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 7/30/2009 8:07:02 AM | | Exactly! Living at home is not a bad thing unless you are doing so, so your parents can take care of you! That's a huge turn off. If you are home with your parents taking care of them or for some other reason or as a temporary (truly temporary) fix then that is OK. How can you judge someone unless you know them?? | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 7/30/2009 8:42:37 AM | Let's be realistic. If this economy gets any worse, we may ALL be living with our parents!!! May not be sexy, but it just might become a practical necessity.
Will bring back family dinners--and that is a good thing!
I'm not talking about mooching though--I'm talking about cutting our expenses. Instead of paying a $1,500 a month mortgage to live in our own homes, maybe we'll pay $400 a month to rent a room in theirs. Cuts our expenses and cuts theirs. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 7/30/2009 8:48:36 AM | | I lost my job last year 6 days before Christmas and had to move back in with my folks for a short time period. I now have my own place and a job. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 7/30/2009 8:53:50 AM | I don't really think it's a turn off, or at least it's definitely not a deal breaker. It can be an inconvenience, especially for those where both involved are living at home but I still wouldn't really think any less of someone who stays at home. Personally, I couldn't do it but if they are ok with it than that's all that matters.
The only thing that might bug me, since I try to see myself in a committed relationship and living with her at some point in the future, is that someone who is still living at home would probably have little or no experience on what it's like to live alone, own/maintain a home and all the costs that are involved with that. That may not always be the case obviously, it depends on the individual, but it's still something I have noticed. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 7/30/2009 8:59:51 AM | | I would not be interested in dating a man my age who still lived with his parents, unless he was taking care of them for instance. I have met several men who were in their 40s and had never lived on their own. All were too cheap to rent or buy their own place, as they were paying nothing to their parents when living with them. They all had not clue as to what it costs to rent or buy a house, and thought an apartment rent would be like $200.00 a month and a house payment $300.oo a month. They all had tons of money in the bank, but wouldn't part with a dime unless they absolutely had to do so. Nothing wrong with being frugal, but not renting a movie to watch because it costs money was way too cheap for me. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 7/30/2009 9:22:21 AM | Don't judge a book by its cover.
not knowing the rationale for a person's living conditions and making snap decisions re: it is putting the cart before the horse and shows a personality weekness.
i've known men and women who've taken parents in to their home (i have, twice).
i 've also known men and women who would not (not could not) make it on their own.
i've also seen temporary situations where moving back home was a viable and crucial decision. i have had this happen twice, as well. once, i had sold my homes (sold 10 homes) to buy the land and build my dream home. Another time in the past, i had finished college, for the 3rd time, and moved back to the city i grew up in to get started in my career.
consider the other person's heart as well as your own before jumping to conclusions. The diamond may be "in the rough". | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 7/30/2009 9:23:41 AM | I understand that sometimes people have to move back home to get back on their feet after a divorce or job loss. Also, some people live at home to take care of elderly parents.
I do believe, though, that living on your own teaches you a great amount of responsibility and is good for everyone to do at some point (living alone meaning not living with a SO or parent). The reason is because you learn how to take care of yourself and pay the bills. Let me give you an example. I was young when I got married. I moved from my parent's house to living with my husband. We bought our own place, but he took care of everything, including paying the bills (I did work - he just took care of the bills). It wasn't until we divorced 8 years later that I learned a whole lot about living on my own and paying my own bills. At first, it was terribly hard. But over time, I bought my own home and learned so much. None of that would have happened if I hadn't lived on my own. I still live on my own, and I really value my freedom and ability to take care of myself.
Would it be a turn-off to date someone living at home? Frankly, I haven't met anyone living at home with parents. It wouldn't date anyone living at home either. If the person is going through a rough patch, well, I think that person has other priorities than dating. If he is taking care of an elderly parent, while I would commend him for doing so, he probably doesn't have time to devote to dating.
So my answer is no to dating men living at home. I would expect a man would feel the same about women. If I were a man, I would wonder if a woman living at home knows how to take care of herself or would expect me to do everything for her. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 7/30/2009 11:53:00 AM | I think everyone's situation is different. I moved back in with my parents after my divorce. I have 2 teenagers and I feel good knowing I have extended family in the house to supervise and be there for the kids when I have to work. I think it's good for the children to feel like they have more than one adult in their lives. (My EX is not a very good father and rarely around) I try to help out as much as possible with household tasks and financially. I am truly blessed to have such a great family. I hope any guy I would date would understand this.  | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 7/30/2009 1:36:51 PM | | I have both lived on my own and at home for a short time after my father passed away. Living alone is fine, but can get pretty lonely at times. No one ever addressed the fact that sometimes, it's just nice to have someone around (that is, if you get along with your parents). Going home to an empty house can be a drag. | |
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