| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 7/30/2009 2:33:35 PM | Eh it depends on the circumstances for me. One of my uncles never moved out because he just couldn't have lived on his own.
My other uncle moved back but came back after him and his wife divorced. He still lives at my grandparents' house. He's had a girlfriend for ages though. He just doesn't bring her to the house to spend the night. They go to her place. I think it's good for my grandparents and my other uncle that he's still there cuz he makes sure everything gets taken care of.
My mom moved us into her parents' house after she split with my dad when I was 9. She never wanted to stay there, but she couldn't afford to move out until I was 17. But then she had to move back once I started college because the place she'd moved to was charging WAY too much rent. Now it's 5 years later and she just moved into a new apartment.
Ideally, I wouldn't want a grown guy to be living at home, but I understand how circumstances can lead you there. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 7/30/2009 2:50:18 PM | | I moved back in with my father when my mother passed away for 7 years. He had legal custody of my sister's kids and there was no way he could do it himself. Not only that but he needed the emotional support to get on his feet again. So while I'm quite sure some women jumped to conclusions on this (hey, I'd rather not be there if I didn't feel a sense of honor and family), I accepted it. I guess my only point is do some investigation before you automatically dismiss him. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 7/30/2009 4:58:50 PM | The living situation says a lot about a person, In most cases it shows their level of responsibility, their emotional stability, their ability to prioritize and set goals.
I believe everyone should live on their own for a period of time, so they develop the self esteem and know how and want it takes to live on their own.
This way if something happens to one of the partners, they already know they can live on their own, because they've done it before,it helps build character and self esteem.
The exception to the rule in my books, are those who move back back to home to take care of aging parents to that I say God bless you you're a solid person, loss of home due to natural disasters or things beyond one's control.
Those adults who chose to live at home because youre lazy and mooching off your folks, to that I say shame on you, and stop being a loser. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 7/30/2009 5:01:31 PM | they are living at home with their parents...they are smooching, irresponsible and dependable on their parents...i can understand if their parents need medical care...i do not date men like that...too much drama | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 7/30/2009 5:55:38 PM | There are so many factors to consider when you meet someone who is living with a parent.
My mom did it just a few years older than me. She CHOSE to take care of her parents and only after a month or so of living in their household, met the second love of her life (my dad had died). Well, quite honestly, he was also the second "loving Dad of my life." He lived with them and helped take care of my grandparents. I couldn't have asked for a better step-dad.
Ladies, don't give up on the man who may be taking care of his parent or parents. He may be the most loving man you'll ever meet. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 7/30/2009 7:42:46 PM | | the only difference i'm still in school and will be graduating in september when i could finally get a fulltime job and passing my probation period, i will be moving out. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 9/15/2009 7:16:05 AM | It has become pretty sad that IF a man is living with his parents or one of them HELPING them out in some way, shape or form, the majority of women think he is full of crap. That he is mooching off them. But has always been ok for women to live at home.
Some friends it has been the "Who cares what happens to my parents, I have my own life to live" attitude, even when help is needed in some way.
I have had other friends who moved back home to help out thier one parent they only have because he/she got sick and was off work for a couple of years.
These days it is parents are to raise us and then we leave them behind because they cramp our style in finding someone. Sad real sad.
If my mother got laid off, sick etc, I wouldn't think twice, I would be there to help her out financially, living accomodations, whatever. That person raised me, not the woman who would judge me on why I am doing it.
What is also interesting is, WHEN one does become a parent, I bet they wouldn't appreciate thier own child not wanting to help them out because of what someone may think of them.
The North American way is to throw our parents into a Seniors Home and leave them there because we can't enjoy our lifestyle caring or helping them out. How sad is that? | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 9/15/2009 11:51:42 AM | | I agree with forums001. People need to take a look at people and who they are before judging them. I just moved back home to help my mother who is now going to be on disability for the rest of her life. It is NOT an easy move to make. It is very difficult to turn your world topsy turvy in order to help your parent/s. I COULD have called in a home health nurse, had her apply for government financial help and visited on Sundays. But I CHOSE to suck it up and be here for her. It is a very difficult move to make and a person is a stronger person for making that decision, rather then calling a stranger and pushing your FAMILY off on a stranger (or group of strangers) . If a man won't date me because of my decision then I would assume he is a selfish person who I wouldn't want anything to do with anyway. Anyone who can walk away from their family when they are in need is a despicable person who is in need of morals and ethics. I have no respect for people like that. Also what would it be teaching my child, if I just walked away from my mother when she needs me? That family is not important? That is a truly horrible lesson for a child to learn. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 9/15/2009 3:18:11 PM | i got an uncle who is 50 something he has never move out of home still lives with my granddad
i moved out of home at 20 thought it was a good age | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 9/15/2009 3:31:25 PM | I think it would depend upon the circumstances, before I'd pass any judgement.
One of my uncles lived with his mother until she passed away. Then he met someone and they were married when he was 63 years old. They seem to be very happy together. She had been living with her parents also. Sometimes one sibling lives with the parent(s) while the others "go their way".
Sometimes it makes more economic sense to continue living with parent(s). I also have cousins who live at home, even though they are in their forties. None of them are "mooching" though. They help pay for household utilities, maintenance, groceries etc. and help around the house.
For some, it's preferable to living alone in a flat/apartment or house. Both can benefit from the living arrangements. And, for the record, I don't live with my parent(s)!  | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 9/15/2009 3:47:11 PM | In my twenties I moved in about 3 times for a few weeks or several months.
Once it was by invitation to help with the start-up of a family business but it was the final straw in a doomed marriage. The other times it was because I wanted to attempt to resettle in the area or a relationship went belly up.
In all cases I found full time employment (even the business one) immediately and paid rent. I also got the hell out of there as fast as I could.
The economy and job market is way different today and has been for quite some time. So I'd want the guy to be wishing it was that simple and working towards it one step at a time. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 9/15/2009 4:00:45 PM | | I left home when I was twenty and haven't moved back in. I am dealing with living on my own for the first time without my parents, husband, children, or roommate and I am new at this but liking it. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 9/15/2009 4:06:37 PM | We live in such a judge-mental, that people wouldn't think about the situation that is going on with a particular person. They just judge that they must be garbage because they live at home with mommy and daddy.
I would never judge a woman until I heard her side of the story. I think we should be there for our parents and in fact my brother is taking care of mine, and I am thankful for that.
It has become wayyyyyy tooooo selfish of a world for me, and that is a lot of the reason I opt to date, instead of get into a relationship. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 9/15/2009 4:38:41 PM | Well, let us not jump to conclusions that a woman should be turned-off if the guy is still living with mom and paps. There must be an explanation with regards to that, and it is not reasonable to make a judgment without getting the facts straight.
If a grown guy is smooching off his parents, by all means be turned-off. I believe most people here would not blame you for it.
If a grown man lives with his parents because either his mom or dad or both became ill, then he should not be judged as a pathetic loser for the sole reason that he still lives with his parents. His reason is both valid and admirable. It is hard to see someone to turn his or her back on his or her parents when they needed him or her the most unless his or her parents truly deserve it.
Sometimes, you have to do what you have to do. I mean that is what family is all about. Sometimes they do not make you golden, but at the end of the day they are still your family.
It does not hurt to get the facts right before striking the gavel on a grown man because circumstances forced him into a situation that he does not want to be in. There should be a good reason for a grown man or a grown woman to be living with there parents, so making judgment calls base on a speculation is not the good way to go at it. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 9/15/2009 4:38:49 PM | Mooching is where I draw the line. No one that lives in there parents house should not be mooching, they're asses need to go get a JOB and be independent. Glad I'm moving out next year!  | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 9/15/2009 5:18:40 PM |
If a grown guy is smooching off his parents
The word is MOOCHING, not SMOOCHING, which means kissing!
I have known two grown men who did this.
The 33 year old one has never left his mother's home. She is dependant on him
to fix things, he put a new roof on, painted the house, rebuilt the garage, cuts the grass,
remodeled the kitchen, put insulation in the attic, etc.
She pays all the household bills and buys all the groceries and does all the cooking.
It is like husband and wife.
He is emotionally immature and stunted though and has never had a girlfriend in spite of being attractive.
He blows all his money on car parts for his old cars that don't run. None goes for
any bills.
The 50 year old one is also emotionally stunted from lifelong depression.
He does not help with anything and spends most nights at his girlfriend's house
even though he lives with his parents. He shows immaturity and has never been
married. He saves every cent he gets his hands on. He is compulsively cheap.
In both cases, there is the desire to save money.
I think, based on what I have seen, that in many if not most cases, there is some
underlying dysfunction mentally or in the personality, if this is a permanent home for these people. I don't mean if they do it temporarily. And I don't mean in every case. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 9/15/2009 5:26:08 PM |
If a grown guy is smooching off his parents
The word is MOOCHING, not SMOOCHING, which means kissing!
And that's a whole other (more interesting) thread! | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 9/15/2009 8:08:32 PM |
If a grown guy is smooching off his parents
The word is MOOCHING, not SMOOCHING, which means kissing!
I stand corrected then. Thanks  | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 9/15/2009 11:03:34 PM | Two stories:
I like to play online games. I was playing in a server yesterday in the early afternoon, "I didn't have to work this day." There was about 24 people playing in a 18+ age server. You can actually do voice chat if you so desire which I don't. One guy whos voice sounded like he was at least in his late 30s said at the end of one round, "I got to go pick up my mother from work, will bbl." He left and everyone laughed...
What about parents staying with you.
One year ago last July my parents had a horrible auto accident on a freeway in another state. The Lincoln rolled 3 times and left my stepfather on top of my mother as the car landed in it's side. It took 45 minutes to cut my mother out of the car and she was airlifted. Stepfather was dead on scene and the gave my mother a 30% chance to live. I was on a plane somewhere over Asia when this happened and landed to find this out. They left the same morning i did only I had a 24 hour flight, they were 11 hours into a drive.
Our family rented an apartment near the hospital since it was out of state so we could be near her. I am the oldest of 8 children and felt very guilty being so far away. My family told me she was in a coma but stable to just stay where I was and take care of some important business then return, that's what mom would want. Wjile in Asia I was in contct with family severl time's a day.
I came home as fast as I could then drove out of state to see her. When I got there she was out of the coma but a bit outta of it. From the very first day she was there a family member or more was there. I spent quit a lot of time there myself. Ireturned home a few days before her release. Arrangements had already been made with another brother to bring her home. I decided it would be best if she came and stayed with me for awhile.
Sher survived the crash but the Doctors said when releasing her that they honestly didnt think she would las 3 days when first brough in. She spent 84 days in that hospital.
I tought my house would be best because I am self employed and could choose my hours, I also was single with a large 3 bedroom house which was kinda centrally located with the rest of the family. Well she came to my house and was very comfortable. She had many visitors from family and friends, especially her 8 children. She is now living back in her own house some 50 miles away. She was here for 6 months and for the most part it was very pleasant. My friends had no problem with her being her. Sometimes I would get up on a late saturday morning only to find my mother and a few friends sitting around having a coffee and a good chat.
There are time's in our life where we may need help and although I am far from a mommas boy I could see myself living with her for a shot while or her living back with me again. Only problem was, she seemed to start making more friends than I had but it was all good. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 9/16/2009 10:53:54 AM | I'm totally turned off by Little Donna living with her parents, free of paying rent, but bashes men who are living with thier parents helping them out financially etc. Seems a big double standard these days that women get away with living at home but when guys do women think "Something is wrong with this guy"
Is like a woman who puts a man down because of his job, yet her job is on par with his. Sad times we live in these days. Have to be doing things that gets acceptance by others? I think not. What is with the bashing and the put downs? Makes no sense. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 9/16/2009 11:24:38 AM | Mooching is reprehensible.
If however, the living situation is noble and honorable -caring for a person whose
independence is compromised, regrouping to regain stability, circling the wagons
for survival...understandable. | |
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