| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 10/27/2009 10:24:20 PM | | I would think it would depend on the situation. I lived with my parents until I was 20 and even though I helped them out with bills and worked two jobs, I was always afraid it meant no woman would be caught dead with me. Although after I moved out, I still barely got any dates but a lot of women told me they thought it was great that I lived alone because it showed what a hard worker I was | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 10/28/2009 12:59:30 AM | | If someone contributes to bills, board and lodging, assists with the housework as necessary, isn't married, is saving money and is working to boot then lift the stereotypes. Very small-minded opening post, passing instant judgement and giving no regard to individual circumstances. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 10/28/2009 2:12:33 AM | This is North American/western living for you. Lets shun people for living with their family.
Lets create more nuclear families and consume consume consume.
Whatever happened to the good old days with the extended family living within the same household and everybody taking care of each other. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 10/29/2009 7:23:14 PM |
Whatever happened to the good old days with the extended family living within the same household and everybody taking care of each other
Because these days it seems it is all about impressing everyone and mainly about pleasing the women.
More women complain about men living with family as oposed to men complaining about women doing the same. Just the double standard we live by or get ridiculed.
I don't need anyone's acceptance in what I choose to do in my life, especially from a woman. Because then I ask this..will she listen and accept what I say to her? I highly doubt it. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 11/2/2009 5:53:20 AM | | I dated someone for a few years that lived at home. Near fourty and his mom would wake him, get his breakfast and make his lunch. The stepdad there so it's not like she doesn't have a man to help out. I don't blame her she's a fantastic person. He was the youngest and she never had to let go. I can't imagine being over 40 and at home like that. When he and I dated it was the constant source for bickering. There was never a need for a full time relationship. He would get out of my bed and go home to his mom. Ugh. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 11/2/2009 7:02:02 AM |
^^I'm beginning to see why you had to resort to an online forum to find dates
And why would you say that?
All I said is I do not need anyone's acceptance in what I do.
If my mom got sick, I wouldn't be saying "Sorry can't be helping you because the ladies would deem that inappropriate"
I would not hesitate to have my mom move in with me if she needed the help. She raised me, I sure am not going to turn my back on her just because some women feel it is unacceptable for a man to be close to his mom or help her out whatever way he can. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 11/2/2009 7:56:24 AM | To me it seems like alot of women here say if a man has a good reason that they don't have a problem if they live with their parents or their parnets live with them.
Some of your posts in other threads make it seem like you just like to complain about women. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 11/2/2009 8:47:01 AM | It depends on what the circumstances are for both men and women .... if they have never left home then, Damn....... but if they have returned for a reason (typing from experience) it may be alright. I returned home in order to take the pressure off of working my way through college. Especially since ppl have to die in order for you to get a good paying job today... HUGE help for mom surprisingly and really big help for me.... Ill be gone again.  | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 11/2/2009 9:08:24 AM | heck i moved home im 27 years old i have been living on my owen since i was 20
the economy has gotten so bad i lost my job.....i sold my house befor i lost my shirt competely and now im living at home waiting to start a collage course to upgrade my self.
just becuase im at home dose that mean i should be ridiculed and made fun of? iv traveled to more places in north america and africa and done more thing than most people do in the entire lives, i dont need some stuck up **** putting me down for sumthing like this.
i dont care if a woman is living at home with mom and dad again as long as she isnt just mooching but trying to go back to school or working. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 11/2/2009 8:41:39 PM | | I just had to move back home with my parents. Humiliating, but what must be done, must be done. I was a stay at home mom so when the husband decided he didn't want me there anymore, I had nowhere else to go. This way my daughter has some consistancy in her life too. We'll move after I find a well enough paying job and save up a bit. But long story longer, it really depends on the circumstances. I've lived alone, had a career, etc. Gave that all up to be a wife and mom. Guess that's what I get. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 11/3/2009 6:05:46 AM |
That’s just shallow, most grown men and woman have specific reasons for living back home with their parents. I’ve never had to move back home, but if I ever had too, I wouldn’t want to be judged on it.
I am one of those who moved back in with my mom. It was supposed to be a temporary thing, a place to stay during myseparation and ultimate divorce. While there, I got laid off, can't afford my own place right now with the amount of alimony I got tagged with, BUT even if I could, I wouldn't because since I have lived with her, her health has taken a drastic downturn. I just get this "out of the way" the first time I meet a woman. I have found that having a specific reason is enough to overcome the stereotypical "must not live at home" "requirement".
I agree 100% with mari_sam, and would like to add that EVERY person is different and it is just wrong to try to apply "conditions" without knowing the person you are applying them to.
Just my humble opinion. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 11/7/2009 12:44:39 PM | i live with my parents because i am the only source of income they have, plus they can not speak english and would have taugh time living in Canada on their own.
Is my case understandable or is it still a turn off. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 11/7/2009 1:02:18 PM | That all depends...in some cultures it's perfectly fine to still be living at home with your parents ie Chinese Culture.
There is also circumstances, such as a parent being really sick or having an accident, or being in a relationship that left you financially screwed. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 11/7/2009 1:09:48 PM | | It depends on the person. I spent time with someone who's been through a lot in his life and happens to live at his parents home and to be honest he's one of the most incredible people i've ever met. money isn't everything. and some people people who are trying to do good for themslves have set backs and I understand that. it really depends on the person and their situation | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 11/7/2009 3:23:37 PM | | My daughter moved in with me after my son's father left just before he was born. She was 21 then. She helped me cope with the new baby and my depression - she was my rock.She's now almost 28 , my son is 6 and I no longer suffer from depression. She still lives with me but now I'm helping her as she completes her studies. She pays her way and does her share of housework, shopping etc. She is totally independent and does her own thing as and when she pleases. We never fall out and communicate extremely well - we support and encourage each other through every day. We love sharing the house together and my son benefits from having her there. She can move out as and when she is ready, there's no rush and, although it will be a sad day for me when she does, she will do it with my help and blessing. | |
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pdlop
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Joined: 10/9/2009
Msg: 492 | |
| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 11/7/2009 3:31:46 PM | | I am 29 and i temporary live at home with my mommy and daddy. I have my reasons for it (relocated to a different state, laid off) and I tell all the girls i meet on here the truth. If they don't like it it is their loss. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 11/8/2009 7:45:55 AM | To each their own, right? Or is that each to their own ...lol (I always screw up stuff like that lol)
If you choose to not date someone living with their parents for legitimate reasons as we've all outlined here, then that is perfectly within your rights to do so. It may mean you are missing out on one awesome person though, just because of a housing issue. Living at home is not the ideal situation and usually only temporary for most of us. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 11/8/2009 7:59:26 AM | | Well anyone over 18 is an adult............. what is the cut off point then.......... also parent gets sick and the mom/dad lives with the "adult child" .............. is there not a lot of grey areas here............. maybe the single mum gets her parents to move in or she moves in with them while she works and supports the child and not sit on her ass and claim benefits............ personally I've been living by my own steam since I was 17 but if I am still single and a parent needed care do you honestly think I would say sorry no can do mum cause some people will think that is a red flag and won't date me......... well f** no.......... real family cannot be replaced and GF can be............... | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 11/8/2009 8:12:44 AM | Well I don't know what to tell ya, division, if she's an awesome person, you wouldn't want to take her back to your place for that booty call? lol
All I know is that my family have been here for me in my time of need and we support each other and when my degree is done, woo hoo ... back out on my own. It's almost impossible to go to university full time AND work full time to pay tuition and rent for an apartment in this city (which has a really high rent cost for a small city on the east coast ... and reallyyyyy high tuition for a small university lol).
And hairybear ...
personally I've been living by my own steam since I was 17 but if I am still single and a parent needed care do you honestly think I would say sorry no can do mum cause some people will think that is a red flag and won't date me......... well f** no.......... real family cannot be replaced and GF can be
Exactlyyyyyyy ... I've been on my own since 18 as well, but moved back home and wouldn't blink an eye if my mom ever needs me when I do move back out ... family is all we have, as men and women that we date come and go. My mom and dad are the reason I'm alive and have such a great upbringing. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 11/8/2009 8:46:48 AM | I have to agree with Division above my post ^^^. Living with family is one thing, but I think I'd resent it if I was playing hostess all the time. It's sometimes nice to be hosted at your boyfriend's house, and I wouldn't be comfortable playing 'happy families' and tiptoe-ing around mom and dad. I had a boyfriend after my divorce who lived at home with mom and dad - and I found he started being at my house for days on end, because he liked not being at his home. I started to become resentful because I felt I always had to play good hostess and plan for meals, etc... and he didn't contribute because he was used to mom taking care of things. Ugh. Such a turn off. I broke up with him soon after.
I need a guy who is on equal footing to me. I'm not looking for a guy who is going to use my place to get away from mom and dad.
EDIT (more thoughts): If a guy lives at home, he'd really have to make an effort to make sure I didn't feel used. There'd have to be some sort understanding made I suppose, but I don't know what - maybe pay for food when he's over or something. It's nice that a person wants to help out mom and dad, but if he's just going to use my place to get away, or to have sex, or what have you - I'd get resentful. Like he wants to have his cake and have it too.
I'm not trying to incite anything when I observe that there's a lot of 'martyr' types on this thread who have 'ill' parents. While I believe that some parents are legitimately ill,I suspect there's a few mooches in the bunch and a few parents being 'helped' that really wouldn't mind the grown man leaving the nest and having the nest to themselves finally. But, these are just my thoughts. Cheers! | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 11/8/2009 8:57:45 AM | I have known men and women who moved out on thier own to impress the me/women they wanted to date. One friend of mine did this because the woman he wanted to date said she wouldn't because he was living at home. His dad was sick and didn't work and his mom was the only one working and he was contributing to the household. But he up and left solely to impress the women with his own place. Sadly his parents went into deep debt, had to sell the house, his dad was in the hospital for about 5 months and passed away, he refused to help his parents because he would then get no dates. Smart? Some say of course, you have to have a life of your own. Some say selfish because family should come first.
In North America family comes last, money comes first.
Said that, I could care less what anyone thought of me sharing an apartment or house with my mom. Hey she is the only parent I have, and if she gets sick, you're damn right I will be there for her.
But sometimes parents are no longer needed to be around and many stop communicating with them once they leave feeling they get in thier way in life.
I know people who are close to thiers and many who have not spoken to thier parents in years.
My one friend who lives out west in BC has not spoken to his parents in 10 years and has not seen them in 15 years. His sister he occasionally speaks to and she called him recently to tell him dad had cancer, he said oh well. As far as he is concerned, his parents are his wife's parents. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 11/8/2009 9:15:32 AM | | so a child helping a parent is a Martyr did I just read that right forumphantom..... so I own my home and I'm dating a girl and a parent or immediate family gets into difficulty you'd bin his ass ............... that would not even be a row or argument your ass would be bouncing down the street the second I suspected that was the end of the sentence you just started. I was born and raised not dragged up........... would anyone like to add up time and money spent in raising a child........... it's not a mummy's boy or girl, it's about damn respect............. the day I call my parents a mooch when they ask for Help I will end myself right there and then as I will have lost all respect for myself and life. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 11/8/2009 9:21:04 AM | Read for meaning my angry friend, if you are able to do that. Boy, you are reactionary - that takes a lot of energy. It's like you scan for key words that fire you up. I framed it by saying it was an observation, and that by no means 'all'. I have a feeling you're just one of those types that like to react to everything. Dramatic and angry - you react like I attacked you personally. Fascinating. Did you even read my post? I think I was very even minded in my response. Sheesh.
PS - I have seen your posts and I know your tendency to get people into flame bait arguments with you, ranting at them until they give up or move on - I'm not interested in arguing with unreasonable and seething angry people with grammar issues. Good day. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 11/8/2009 9:32:32 AM | | nope not angry! see life has many emotions, and different degrees of same......... yes reactionary has it's many many uses, some you'll never never know about...... no I read exactely what you wrote down, word for word and went over it again, was I shocked totally........... fascinating how so......... your response was driven by your bad experience of feeding a bf while he lived with mummy and daddy, did you read my post more like it stated that what if it is My place and parent/s lived with you..........oh couldn't be bothered to read it oh yea............ I have not argued with anyone........ nor do I want one........... I actually try to do the opposite............. I have had off forum chats with some from here and no issues remain, I forgive and forget more easily than allmost anyone.......... but to you I say have a nice day, and no I actually mean that life sucks enough as it is so have a cuppa and enjoy you day ok!!!! friends forum queen | |
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