| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 12/14/2005 3:24:16 PM | | Women who just prejudge a man just on this basis are doing just that--prejudging. Some guys have had the big homes, the boats, the luxury cars, been there done that, and they are not into the real estate thing now. They just want to enjoy life, live rent-free, without the hastles of homeownership. Why women are so biased about this I don't know. I lot of great men are living with parents, rent-free, taking care of their parents who are elderly, each party benefits. These guys are financially secure and debt free, from what I can gather. They just want a simpler life after running households and maintaining residences for many years. Sometimes the ex-wife got the house. They are a great catch for a lady, but the ladies pass them by out of this prejudice. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 12/14/2005 4:07:35 PM | | HUGE turnoff, if I can own my own place, why can't he. If hes still living at home, most likely he's gonna want to come in a mooch off of me too. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 12/14/2005 4:20:00 PM | | i think the situation should be considered... i recently moved back to my parents... i'm 26 with a semi-serious knee problem... i moved back to save money so i can go back to school... i am paying to live here and buying my own food... this was an absolute last resort and to be honest i hate living here... but i know with the way my knees are getting if i dont go back to school and get an education in a field where i can work in an office setting i will require another knee surgery... i'm already in rehab to try and prevent that... so maybe you should talk to these peopel about their situations before you judge them... if they are anything like me its a huge blow to the ego living at home and we really don't need to be looked down upon by others for trying to do what is best for us | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 12/14/2005 6:40:38 PM |
Many live with their parents, in order to prevent their parents from having to live in a seniors home, for the rest of their lives. But, when someone finds out where they live, they are judged, almost immediantly..no questions asked.
As I said earlier, is it that they live with their parents, or that their parents live with them? To me, that's a big difference. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 12/14/2005 9:37:45 PM | | I'm 26 and moved back in with my mom and her bf when I got out of college. NOT because I want to mooch but because I racked up some bad credit in school and didn't find a good job right away. Now I am doing well and can finally put my extra money towards fixing my credit and getting my own car. That's right, MY car that I still owe my aunt $1500 for got stolen when I had just invested $600 into it for a tune up and brake work so I could get it on the road again. My dad helped me with a car and said I could buy it from him or give it back when I get my own. Yes I could go out and pay high rent but after getting my real estate license, paying rent seems SO wasteful when you culd be paying a mortgage and own your own home at the same montly rate. Thus I choose to stay with my mom and help her out when I can, fix my credit, get my own car and eventually buy my own home. It may not impress many of you women, but keep dating that guy who will always pay rent and never own his own home, good luck to you. He's more likely to mooch off of you when he's down on his luck than us guys who have a plan and are motivated enough to suck it up and be patient. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 12/14/2005 9:58:45 PM | This is a case by case thing. I would'nt judge someone right off if they were in a situation where it was wiser to be there than to be out on their own.
If it's to help take care of his parents (I'd be watching that he's telling the truth there) then I can certainly see the nobility in that. Wouldn't judge him for it.
There would be red flags though if he runs back to mom and dad every time something in his life goes wrong...not a good sign. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 12/14/2005 10:00:40 PM | I read an article that kids are living at home with mom and dad longer and longer.
If you're in school, living at home is fine.
If you're saving up to buy your own place, then living at home for a while is fine.
If you're taking care of a sick parent/family member, I think you're a stand-up type of person.
If you've had a really bad transition (divorce, layoff, etc.) and needed to move back in temporarily, I don't think I'd hold it against you.
It is those people who ambiguously hang out at mom and dad's for too many months or years. They've got a full time job, they have plenty of money and just don't want to move out cause parent's still feed them, do their laundry, etc.
Yeah, at 32, if a guy is still at home with parents unless due to extreme circumstances, I wouldn't even think of dating him. If I have to be self-sufficient, you can be, too. I think it shows maturity and self-reliance. Very sexy. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 12/14/2005 10:03:41 PM | pcola- i think you should be commended. Suze Orman would like you.
Yes, sometimes it's better to take a hit lifestyle wise and pay off debt, save for car/home, then to go live the good old life and stay forever in debt (ie rent).
I think you are smart. If I was your age, I'd be impressed that you have the discipline, fortitude and forward thinking attitude to look down the road 5, 10 and 20 years down the road. You're head is screwed on straight and that's sexxxxxxxyyyyy.
xoxo | |
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tmtroj
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Joined: 12/12/2005
Msg: 60 | |
| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 12/14/2005 10:32:17 PM | | It really does depend on the situation the person is in. Like in my case I'm still at home because of a disability(I'm 21 by the way). I would like to be out on my own, but it's just not possible right now. I still manage to help pay some of the bills and give my mother grocery money every week. Now people that are able to do everyday things and have enough money to rent an apartment or house shouldn't be at home. It really does depend on the situation. I don't think I could pass judgement until I got to know that person. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 12/14/2005 10:44:27 PM | | I really don't get why this has such stigma attached to it. Looking back into the not too distant past families worked to help one another, it was not considered a "turn-off" to pay your parents utilities and help them out so they could make easier plans for retirement. Where'd people become so wealthy as to not recognize the benefit of the helping the ones you love. So perhaps you're framing this reference in a different light? The guy doesn't work and lays around all day drinking his parents liquor? Yeah I get that, but not for the reason that he lives there. That guy is just a fcukup. Would be regardless of where he resided. I maybe just have a different perspective due to age or something. I encourage my kids to stay as long as they wish. When they can afford a place of their own to build or buy, fine but why pay rent and pay off someone elses mortgage.? | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 12/14/2005 10:45:37 PM | | Yes, 4afriend, that is what I kind of said in an earlier post, about this being "normal" by societal standards not too long ago | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 12/14/2005 11:10:54 PM | | Scary how devious minds think alike. Even some not so devious. I'll leave my house before my kids do I hope, they could use a good start. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 12/14/2005 11:21:35 PM | | Although my profile does not list as such my mail is often blocked for drugs, married, smoking, drinking and most other traits most generally found distasteful in dating forums. I try like hell not to chat, but restrictions are akin to barbed wire around mailboxes. I can't mail, I can't chat. I've shot myself in the groin, stabbed myself in the thigh, hit my person repeatedly with a wide range of objects from heavy to sharp and all to the same unsatisfactory result. I still can't mail the people I want to. I have to go away for a few days now. I promise to repent. OUCH | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 12/15/2005 1:27:39 PM | | Plus, with rising real estate values, the cost of an apartment has gone outta site. In new york, apartments cost 2 or 3 thousand a month. Most cannot afford these rents and are moving back with Mom and Dad. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 2/4/2006 7:13:55 PM | Well, as someone who's been in those shoes....
I finished college, and watch the over-heated job market of the late 1990s begin to falter, and a lot of the entry-level jobs become so low-brow that with college education, I was grossly over-qualified, and from the appearance of most of them, would have had little or no chance for advancement. Not a good situation.
I took what I could, and ended up working about 50 hours a week for $10,000 a year clerking in two stores. After a stint in another field that turned into a nightmare, and the resultant financial turmoil, I was unable financially to move out until August, 2005.
Some people scrimp or suffer. With $1000/month rent in my area for a 1-bedroom, and a studio not too far behind, there was absolutely no way I could move out.
This past year (2005) I took a job that forced me to move, and move to a much less-expensive area. That's been good, and I'd like to stay in that area if I can, which is western Massachusetts, moving from the Worcester area to Greenfield.
Some girls didn't like that I lived at home. Their problem. And a few of the ones I went out with did live at home, so as the adage goes, people who live in glass houses....
To judge someone on such a status though is really unfortunate, and to be blunt, unfair. Who knows....you may be passing up someone really good.
Oh....and as an Armenian American.....it's our cultural pattern to stay at home until around 30 (or beyond!) anyway. So there.:P | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 2/4/2006 7:35:29 PM | So many guys who are european use the excuse they are not allowed to move out till they marry..I call that mooching off mommy and daddy...
I find it pathetic any guy or woman who lives at home in 30's and older.... unless that parent really needs the help...but then it should be only for a small while...
Even those going through a divorce can live on thier own... so u have less big deal bite the bullet and be grown up about it..... | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 2/4/2006 7:37:12 PM | | oh man ther is no way i could live with my parents. i love my freedome to come and go as i please, plus i dont think its apropriate for an adult to live at home. thats kinda pathetic. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 2/4/2006 7:46:06 PM | | i could never live with my parents. it's just not right. most other animals make their young leave the nest. it's not healthy for someone to stay at home. it doesn't seem to be a normal part of development. i have only met 1 guy that was still living at home at 40. i think he had problems. he didn't socialize much. | |
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ndt
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Joined: 1/31/2006
Msg: 75 | |
| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 2/4/2006 7:47:36 PM | me thinks
I know EXACTLY what you mean as I know your area RE market quite well. I reside right across the Hudson River in NJ and the Rent and Real Estate prices are insanely HIGH. | |
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