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| | Adults living at home with Mom and DadPage 40 of 44 (4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44) | In the interests of honesty I should confess that I am in this situation myself. It is purely for reasons of economy (I am between jobs at the moment) and far from ideal. I contribute half of my income to the household and do all my own laundry and shopping as well as my share of cooking and chores.
Personally I'm not even sure if I should be on here at all. I would much rather get myself sorted out with a job and my own place before I started looking for a relationship but all my friends insist that I should 'get out there' and that the right girl for me won't mind. Well, what's the worst that can happen? | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/30/2012 12:34:35 PM | Amen, Mari. I've been turned down from one job after another for the most completely silly reasons. Apparently, HR departments feel that HAVE to have SOMETHING absurd that they can discriminate by. And with the most popular categories already legally protected, they have have to get creative.
I have no doubt that I have, at some points, most likely faced some sort of discrimination or another in the workplace. When those I think are friends turn out to be bad references because they disagree with me ideologically on literally any single issue, I find my chances of moving up getting shot down really fast. I've even had jobs that promised me this and that, and then violated every promise made for totally silly reasons. And since at least two of them were government-related, I'm not allowed to share details.
All that being said, living where I do makes the problem even worse. Creative degrees and the Lansing job market simply don't mix. And even if job searches were easier, you can't very well pay $400 a month in student loans AND $500 a month in apartment rent AND pay for groceries AND pay for insurance AND utilities on the minimum wage positions that are often the only ones available that my degree qualifies me for.
Yet, girls who find out I still live at home seem to think I should be made of money and able to do it all, and judge me because I can't.
That's why I have a simple rule for any girl that would date me: If you cannot love me while I am nothing; for the soul of my being while I have nothing; then you cannot love me when I am rich.
A lot of girls, I find, are really shallow and would laugh me off for saying that. Fine. If I ever do get to be well off, they'll be the ones crying when I won't share a single penny with them. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/30/2012 3:17:41 PM | "Anyone over 24 should have a stable career by than and should be out.
whatever time is best for the person. each person's situation is different.
but for some reason, none of the silly women on here can relate or understand that."
What a nice imaginary world you live in where economics, Austerity measures, tution costs, record job losses and cultural decline play no factor into your reasoning lol
You can always pick out the beautiful suburbanites who get everything handed to them, based on filter of REALITY from those who actually earn. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/30/2012 3:38:11 PM |
Austerity measures, tution costs, record job losses and cultural decline play no factor into your reasoning lol
You just described the 1980's when Reagan was president of the US. The more things change, the more they stay the same. The tough times now doesn't keep people from buying things they don't need (iphones, smartphones, etc).
You can always pick out the beautiful suburbanites who get everything handed to them, based on filter of REALITY from those who actually earn.
I live reality daily, and have worked for everything I have. Reality doesn't exist in college or university until you graduate and discover there's no job available for your education. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/30/2012 3:52:33 PM | Sorry I disagree.
The simply fact of such events occuring in different times, does not negate the complicated factors of..
Nor do I appreciate the knee jerk reaction most people who've been afforded chances, luxury and opprotunity, whne they feel the need to demote themselves to those who are truly struggling just for face-value.
If you've had advantages, good for you, but have some empathy and perspective when measuring the situation of people who's lives you can't begin to fathom.
What was the cost of living in the 80's compared to today?
Wages? Rent and mortgages? Tution costs and educational chop up (Plus strikes). Medical costs? Food?
How much did a car cost then? Used? new? repairs? Insurance? Gas? parking permits? License cost?
The collapse of entire industries plays no role?
Disappearance of the Middle Class?
Education alone went from programs that trained for cross-industry skills, to hyper focused programs that leave you trapped despite the greater cost??
And during the 70's and 80's the government practically paid people to do to school, for skills upgrade, while now after the Labor cuts, and overseas distribution of work, sucked up programs like "Second Careers" through E.I.?
People today are PAYING way more for WAY less, and those who are NOT in a situation fortunate to provide them with a support network.
It's like thinking, in anology; "Well since environmental catastrophies happened in the past, they should hold the exact same effects and rate as before, today, negating any observation of the security posssessed between those in compounds and those in a trailer park. Who's shielded more doesn't matter. And those without are that way because they didn't put in the effort"
Sorry the 90's are over.
Back into the fire. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/30/2012 3:57:30 PM | and I'd argue, culturally "Reality doesn't exist in college or university."..... altogether.
Hyper bubble of focused reality, with academic perceptions that don't translate to the dynamics of the real world, proven by everything from politicians, to Judges to Professors attitudes.
"Much learning does not teach nous"
With that said, not hating on post-secondary, I just don't appreciate the arrogant attitude presented by those incapable of empathy,
or feel the need to belittle the REAL WORLD factor that allowed them to succeed compared to millions of others.
Where you come from and who you know is what shapes this world.
Don't sell me Sentimentals ;) | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/30/2012 4:06:04 PM | The only difference, the GOLDMAN & SACHS types and the "Regular schmoo" is who benefits off this real world social structure and the dynamics of success, they would sooner SELL you on these sentiments and ideas of "Anyone can make it if they try" attitude, sold by a RARE percentage of success stories, compared to the dominating presence of established families and ruling networks.
100 kids born into wealth and opprotunity will always overshadow that 1 kid from the projects, who made it, because his innovation and skills made him valuable and a commodity.
But he's called what? "New money"?
Yeah and things like selective breeding and gated communities are also imagined when referring to the dynamics of society lol
We're a generation sold on NOTIONS not REALITY... cause... well.. that's ugly and not fun and not stimulating... | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/30/2012 4:34:55 PM | the person who is living with thier parents have a greater need to communicate. If you moved to help your parents then please informed that before the start of the conversastion. The only think we want to know is that you are not some looser who is moching off your parents. I took my dad in my home and even when the personal care taker or home health agency came in they usually assume I am in his house. The first question I get is am I always going to be here when they show up? So I tell the agency before hand that my father is in my house. I did have an incident with the LVN who was being a big mouth with me in a funny way and I told him you are in my house and he stop picking on me. My parents can be very abusive toward me infront of other people and I still have to maintain my position. Even when I am at my parents house I tell them I am incharge so asked me anything you need. This way they can't take advantage of my parents.
In the dating website we don't have a crystal ball so its better to communicate of the guy and girl is in the same financial status or not. Living in your parents, sibling house and not communicating only give the immpression that I am falling in love with someone who I have to support for the rest of my life.
I have lot of guys not talking to me when I tell them I am taking care of my dad. I mostly get a ph no in first few emails and most of them make less money then me so basically they want me to bring more to the table otherwise they will take a hike. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/30/2012 5:25:08 PM |
What was the cost of living in the 80's compared to today?
Wages? Rent and mortgages? Tution costs and educational chop up (Plus strikes). Medical costs? Food?
How much did a car cost then? Used? new? repairs? Insurance? Gas? parking permits? License cost?
The collapse of entire industries plays no role?
Disappearance of the Middle Class?
Wages and rents/mortgages were a lot lower and so was the costs of products and services. But overall greed and stupidity, from people, corporations, inustries, governments, professionals, is why everything is so expensive now. There are other factors, of course.
I just don't appreciate the arrogant attitude presented by those incapable of empathy
The priviledged are where they are because of that lack of empathy for others. And most people lack empathy themselves anyways. Do you think 99% of people care that the products they buy today are made in third-world countries by workers living so far below the level of poverty it's scary? | |
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2bad10
| | Joined: 4/15/2011
Msg: 986 | |
| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/30/2012 6:52:59 PM | | all of my siblings moved out by the age of 21--our parents told us that we could live in their house as long as we wanted to but we had to follow their rules--the rules weren`t that bad but i wanted to make my own rules so i moved out -if i ever needed to come back home the door was always open but the rules were always the same ---you live here--you live by my rules--you don`t want to live by my rules then go find your own place to live and make your own rules--my dad was strict--but none of his kids ever ended up in trouble | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/30/2012 8:41:02 PM | | I think we are headed back toward an era where the skilled worker is the one with the job opportunities. How many of us can fix a faucet? Repair a wash machine? fix a car? etc.. I think we are headed for a big economic collapse, I wouldn't be surprised to see the dollar plummet and American to lose even more of their "power" before this ends. I'm encouraging my son to do trade school as well as regular college, He's got a few good idea, but I want him to be able to build a wall, mend a fence, replace lighting fixtures. Things like that are what the rich people need you to do for them, since they only know how to push papers. If my son can learn practical hands on "handy man" work and get his degree in something useful, he's thinking police or coast guard right now but he's still young, then he might not have to live with me forever. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 5/1/2012 1:48:32 AM | News flash for everyone or whom this applies to.
Look what's going on. Mass lay-offs. People whom are well qualified, degrees, been at their jobs for a decade or so, etc.. Many people are losing their jobs. And it doesn't seem to be looking any better. Even the people who are serving this country everyday, has nothing or not much to come back to. In these times, many people are moving back in with relatives, friends, family, etc..
Yes, there are some people who are moochers. But there are also people who have hit bottom, a bump in the road, hard times, or whatever else you want to phrase it as.
Keep in mind, that person could be you someday. And maybe real soon. People can care less, until the tables are turned, and they are now in another person's shoes. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 5/1/2012 12:36:06 PM | "The priviledged are where they are because of that lack of empathy for others. And most people lack empathy themselves anyways. Do you think 99% of people care that the products they buy today are made in third-world countries by workers living so far below the level of poverty it's scary?"
Sadly no.
A large portion of the population can't even fathom where their meat comes from, that they buy at the store, or the process applied.
But I think as animals, specifically North American culture have been dulled and numb, by a plethora of stimulus, elements of diet and social conditioning.
Man tries to stop a mugging, ends up stabbed and left to die for the better part of the day, as those who passed by took pics with their cameras?
Or the Tryvon scandal in Florida, Dozens of people standing by, as a kid screams for his life, spectating, while on their electronics?
There's something seriously wrong, and it's beyond Cognitive Dissonance. Even if that social reality is a major factor. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 5/1/2012 12:38:38 PM | " think we are headed back toward an era where the skilled worker is the one with the job opportunities. How many of us can fix a faucet? Repair a wash machine? fix a car? etc.."
I agree, but its going to take a major economic and social crisis, that the majority are not ready for, proven by the mentalities, and perceptions still applied within "Majority rules" attitudes.
Crisis - Unprepared chaos (Kiss Pensions goodbye), Economic crash, recovery THEN demand for skills.
The rest are too desperate to remain video game designers, dog walkers and nail specialists.
It's easy, and makes traveling to Cuba more often attainable. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 5/1/2012 1:00:55 PM | | I definitely agree, PDS78. And to add to it, so many people have an "Atleast it is not me" attitude. So many will not understand or getting it until it hits homes. And so many people build their life on what some other person's expectations are or what they say is good. Many can't think for themselves. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 5/1/2012 1:27:02 PM | No one brought up this point. And I swear I don't mean to offend anyone. But if you recieve section 8 along with/or some other type of public assistance, then you need not bash persons for not having. You are not that much better than a person who is still living with mom or dad. However you may think you are. You may recieve financial assistance based on your children, and you may have rent under $100 or nothing at all. Some people may recieve child support. Of course you may have your own house, own car, own clothes, etc.. But how much of it did you work for. How much of it did you get "own your own sweat".
And this is no diss in any way. Get it how you get it. Do what works for you.
But how many of you would be where you are, have your house/apartment, food, and some of the things that you have, if you had no type of assistance? Check yourselves. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 5/1/2012 2:29:30 PM | | Before you debate, please research or know what you are talking about. Did you read anything else that I said. There is something called section 8, welfare, etc.. There is also something called low income living. Thank you very much, QueenBee. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 5/1/2012 2:54:45 PM |
But if you recieve section 8 along with/or some other type of public assistance, then you need not bash persons for not having. You are not that much better than a person who is still living with mom or dad.
True to a certain extent but some on just social assistance now through circumstances (economy included) have probably been working for year and years, paying into that system through payroll taxes. Like insurance, that's if they qualify. And in a lot of cases (in Canada at least) you have to get rid of your assets. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 5/1/2012 3:20:32 PM | | Romieyo.. I'd be right here.. I didn't use assistance,.. I get what you are saying.. but maybe check yourself. It's not that easy to attain those services and it's not "get it how you get it" avenue. If you are on it because you are too lazy to work then it's theft and it belongs to the government. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 5/1/2012 3:22:20 PM | | I agree, edgedreality. But there are also those who havent worked jobs in years, if at all. As far as welfare goes. And I am not one to just speak on what I read. A lot of what I speak on, is based on experience, observation, or I personally know people who are or have been in many situations. Whether relationships, living, finances, etc.. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 5/1/2012 3:41:01 PM | there are also those who havent worked jobs in years, if at all
And they could justify the "why's" and portray themselves as victims. Or they'd have "So what" attitude. Or both. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 5/1/2012 4:31:12 PM | I was just having this conversation.. You messed up your bed, no go remake it! I don't want to clean your house or clean up your mess, I have my own mess to clean up and I did so. I crawled out from the pile of crap that fell on me and I fixed it. If a person DECIDES they want to cry woe is me and beg others to survive, that's their choice, I don't have to condone it and I don't have to support it. I didn't do it when I could have. I didn't make excuses for myself. I accepted that I created the mess I was in and I was the only one who could get me out of it permanently. Yea the economy is tough.. I found a job anyway.. in fact.. I'm now quitting that job and moving on to a better one. It's about motivation and will power to fix your situation.
I'm all for someone getting a leg up for a short period of time, who needs it, but but when you make it a lifestyle, then I take an issue with it. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 5/1/2012 5:29:53 PM | That's kind of the common trend in this thread, at least for the americans... Something about Canadian women and this thread........
It seems like most of us all agree that it's ok to live with your parents when you're working towards being able to RESPONSIBLY move out of their house. A lot of us have been there, a lot of us have hit that point where it was either that or be homeless. And anyone who works in this country understands the complete joke the working world is here.
And about the section 8... it's extremely hard to get a lot of times. Just getting any aid at all is tough. I was at the point where I was only making about $500 / month, and I was about to lose my home. I wasn't allowed to get any aid at all beacuse I worked, and because I couldn't pay the rent on what I was making. So even government aid, it's a complete joke. For a lot of it, you literally have to be irresponsible and quit your job. That's at least how it is in NJ. They want to help you, long as you're not making any attempt at all to help yourself. | |
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