| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 2/5/2006 12:33:17 PM | I think that as long as they are employed and are helping out it's ok. I don't see why it's such a big deal to some people. No everyone can afford to live comfortably on their own, and those that do live on their own are often barely treading water.
And like someone else said, we don't get on women for it.
I live with my folks. I'd like to get my own place someday, just to have more room and so people won't hold it against me anymore. I could do it, but right now it would kinda suck. I don't want to do it if it means I'll be living hand to mouth. It's mainly a money issue for me. don't need anyone taking care of me. I help out in any way I can. The only thing my mom does for me is cook, but she cooks for my dad too. That's just what she does. It works out for all three of us. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 2/5/2006 1:37:56 PM | This is going to sound ambiguious but depending on the circumstances,like for instance Desert wolf situation or helping your folks out no big deal
But for the deadbeat,clingy,lazy ass humps who wants to feed off their folks, shame on them
I thought the umbilicord(is that the word?) was supposed to be cut off at birth | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 2/5/2006 1:45:13 PM | Jasminekai,
I'm still living at home..It's simply to expensive to be on your own. Allthough I can easily afford the rent for a nice 2 bedroom apartment/condo but why would I bother making someone else even richer, when I can help my parents who need it so much more?!?! They've been there for me through thick and thin and the least I could do I for them is contribute financially. The benefits are obvious and we're respectful towards each other private space, so it works out very well. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 2/5/2006 1:49:50 PM | iwarrior,
There's nothing wrong with it. We all need a hand in life from time-to-time and it also speaks volumes about the quality of family life some people have. Apparently, many individuals have never experienced what a real family life is all about and that's pretty sad. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 2/5/2006 3:25:02 PM | | I had to move back home due to financial situations, ex left me with a fist full of bills, help my folks out where I can, have a job that does not pay well but I am doing it now to benefit later and get a better job out of it, just gettting the license and experience and driving a big bus. Once I get a better job I will be searching for my own place as it sits now I would be paying rent and have no money for food or anything so I am thankful my folks allowed me back home to get straightened out. That is what family is all about, I would do the same for them had they needed it at any point | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 2/5/2006 3:44:12 PM | | it has more to do with being an adult then anything. having family help out is fine but living with your parents at say 40 if you arnt there to say help out your aging parents then it seems more like your taking advantage. plus at the age of thirty i live on my own i dont hardly tread water. i have lots of nice things and get by fine its just an excuse i think. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 2/5/2006 4:25:05 PM | c3sparling,
This reminds me of story when a friend of mine let his parents borrow 5 grand. Also, I don't see the diffrience between having family helping out and living with family - Is this not one in the same?!? Personally, I think a lot of this greatly depends on the family involved. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 2/5/2006 5:01:33 PM | | and what do you think is a good age then to move out on your own and have your own life. family helping out is totaly diff from living with them. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 2/5/2006 5:09:27 PM | | you asked a question and i answered. the point to it is that at a certain age who cares what age it is. you have to take responsibilite for your own life. moving out is something i think that should be done when your at the age to know its time to go. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 2/5/2006 5:18:22 PM | | I am living at home to save up money for school and to pay bills off so that I can go to school full time half of the year. Once I start school, the school is too far away from my mother for me to live there. So I am making plans to go on my own. People live at home with their folks for a number of reasons. I'd have to learn why he was doing this to have an opinion of the situation either way. If he was going to school full time to further his career, I would find that very understandable. Now, an unemployed guy with no goals.....FUGGEDDABOUTIT! | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 2/5/2006 6:05:31 PM | I didn't want to read every post on every page. sooooooooo..
I can't imagine someone living with their parents, bringing home a date for a lovemaking session.
I don't even like to date a woman with kids and have a lovemaking session when her kids are home.
It just seems wrong. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 2/5/2006 6:39:01 PM | Backgammonnn my comment was directed towards catman40..
I agree.. I myself live with and take care of my elderly parents.. because of exactly that.. my family is important...and I refuse to put them in a home..right now we have a 2 family house eventually as they get older and need more help I will condence to 1 family house. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 2/5/2006 6:52:13 PM | Depends on the situation (is she going to college and otherwise couldn't afford it, taking care of elderly parents, etc...)
I moved away from my mother's home at 17 to go to Boot Camp, and (thought I had) never looked back. I batched it up with my old man for six months after a flood in 1993 wiped out my apartment and he got divorced from his 2nd wife, but we shared the rent and expenses 50/50. We were more roommates than parent and child, and enjoyed the hell out of the chance to be together again. (the funny thing was that we'd BOTH have times where we'd hand the other a $20 and politely ask him to go watch a movie or something). He moved out when he got married again, and I went and got my own place a month later once the lease was out. My own mother lived in my house for a year after my son was born because he was her first grandchild.
There are sometimes valid reasons why, and family is important enough that you always take them in when they need it, as they would take you in when you need it.
OTOH, someone who wants nothing from life, has no real reason for living at home, and is obviously sponging off of mom and pop? Nuh-uh. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 2/5/2006 10:00:52 PM | | For you people thats young, teens and 20's or maybe older with children thats saving to go to school or get a car or place of your own don't worry about it. If you're working and contributing some or even if your into full time studies, as long as your not goofing around or majoring in partying don't worry about what others think. What about people that inherit a lot of money or property from their parents? What about people that step into the family business? Some of these people will criticize others for living at home but do you see them turning down the gifts or not taking the job to "make it" on their own? No! What about the person that parents can pay a lot of their college expenses? Do you see them turning it down? No! | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 2/6/2006 5:45:25 PM | [I'm 26 and moved back in with my mom and her bf when I got out of college. NOT because I want to mooch but because I racked up some bad credit in school and didn't find a good job right away. Now I am doing well and can finally put my extra money towards fixing my credit and getting my own car. That's right, MY car that I still owe my aunt $1500 for got stolen when I had just invested $600 into it for a tune up and brake work so I could get it on the road again. My dad helped me with a car and said I could buy it from him or give it back when I get my own. Yes I could go out and pay high rent but after getting my real estate license, paying rent seems SO wasteful when you culd be paying a mortgage and own your own home at the same montly rate. Thus I choose to stay with my mom and help her out when I can, fix my credit, get my own car and eventually buy my own home. It may not impress many of you women, but keep dating that guy who will always pay rent and never own his own home, good luck to you. He's more likely to mooch off of you when he's down on his luck than us guys who have a plan and are motivated enough to suck it up and be patient.]
Couldn't have said it better if I said it myself!
Oh, and to whoever said something about European-Americans staying at home mooching....
I was born here; I'm third-generation, my great-grandparents having come from across in the 1890s. What I was stating that it is a very common practice in my cultural background to just stay at home. Many of my friends have, and they don't mooch. Some work far harder for even less than I have, and not just my Armenian friends, but friends of all backgrounds.
Now that I'm western Mass, the little bedroom I'm renting, at $230 a month, isn't as painful, and once my situation re-settles again, I'll be able to purchase a small home in this area with some luck, or at least get a small apartment, as the rents here aren't murderously high, only a little steep.
It's not where someone lives, it's HOW they live. Do they make an effort to contribute to society? Do they care about others? Do they make an effort to make friends, connections, get out there and be of service to others some how? Ask those things before turning your nose up at someone. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 2/27/2006 11:56:13 AM | WELL I MOVED IN WITH MY MAMA TO HELP HER WITH HER BILLS....SHE OWNS HER OWN HOME AND NEEDED MY HELP WITH UTILITIES..AND SUCH .....AND ID RATHER HELP HER ......THAN GIVE MY MONEY TO A STRANGER..FOR RENT...... | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 2/27/2006 12:09:46 PM | I think everyone has circumstances... Me for example, am about 2 steps away from renting my house out to someone and moving in with my parents... why? THEY need MY help, and for all the years they were there for me.. it's the least I can do.
So if someone wants to judge me, or rule me out as potential relationship material because I live with my parents.. it would be their loss.
Before judging too harshly find out the reasons.. yes the middle aged no good lazy bum with no job and no prospects is a turn off.. But the average person with average circumstances, well truth be told, deserves respect for making the decision to put themselves out to their folks like that...
Some people fall in the middle, too. My uncle still lives with my grandparents.. He's 40.. Single because of his line of work, he feels no need to pay for seperate accomodations, and instead stays with them. He contributes, he pulls his own.. He has no reason to be ashamed or looked down upon either. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 2/27/2006 2:19:59 PM | | I think there are circumstances sometimes where it is ok. There are some religions that the son/daughter doesn't move out until they are married. To me if you are helping buy groceries and stuff its ok. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 2/27/2006 2:47:31 PM | | I prefer the cultural perspective - as babies we all want to be held and cared for and we also push away to gain our independence - as we grow up we should strive to support and work towards this same balance - having a wonderful family that you love and want to spend time with or even live with isn't (to me) a matter of good/bad right/wrong - it's only the degree to which a person can differentiate within that environment. Can they develop healthy attachment/Independence - yeah I want to meet a women who makes tons of money and owns her own houses and vacation homes - but I don't see the value of this thread being about money and our preferences for 'accomplished' partners - but rather in the hindrance or benefit to the individuals developing sense of 'self' by living alone or with the family - and including the newly created family in this topic as a continuing excuse to not grow up or to support childlike enmeshment or patterns of family dysfunction might also have value. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 2/27/2006 3:37:48 PM | | Any guy that wants to live at parents "sponging" is wrong. On the other hand there may be reasons that validate one going back. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 2/27/2006 9:08:08 PM | reading this thread has made me feel alot better about myself then I have in a while.. i moved away from home at 17 and lived out of my duffel up untill about 8 months ago when I moved back home and quit a 50k a year job to care for my parents.. still today though when a man mentions he lives at home at 41 most ladies are turned off and dont wait for an explanation as to why.
I lost my dad in sept. and mom cant do what she used to though a pca makes far less then I did as a trucker I dont mind at all as over 50% of what I make pays bills buys her meds and helps keep a roof over our heads, and food in our tummies.
the way I see it is if your mooching off your parents get the f*** out and get a job if your there to take care of them or are paying your way then its ok... just remember they took care of you for the first 17 to 20 something years when they get old return the favore | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 3/9/2006 11:58:38 AM | Yes I am 37, going on 38, I live with my mother. Four years ago, my father died in my parents home while I cared for him. He was in hospice care for the last year of his life. I took time off of work, and thankfully I still had my job to go back to. I pay all my own bills, I help out where it is needed. I was raised to be independent, and there isn't anything in this house that I can't fix or maintain. I change my mothers oil on both of her cars, and I do all the scheduled maintenance. I have done plumbing, roofing, sheetrocking, cooking, heating, air conditioning I am a jack of all trades and master of none..(except for electronics because that is what I graduated from and am currently employeed in this field) I have kept this house running smoothly with little or no help from others, especially my mother. I have done all the cooking since I was a young child. I do all the decorating when Christmas, Thanksgiving, Halloween come around. I prepare the Christmas and Thanksgiving meals, enough for about 20 people each and every year. I buy all the grociery's for my mother and myself. I mow the lawn, snowblow the driveway. I maintain her house, and I take care of everything. Now, for those who want to say that I have been done a disservice to either myself or to my folks, you are grossly mistaken. I am on my own, because I don't have any help from anyone. The way I see it, my mother is rather lucky(spoiled) to have me around, and I am doing her a HUGE favor by having me here. Believe me, she is driving me NuTs!!! All this, and my mother abused me when I was a young child... I still can't turn away from her, because she needs help keeping this older house going. She isn't a very independent woman, pretty clueless person if you ask me. Heck she even has problems writing out her own bills...wierd, huh? I guess the acorn doesn't fall far from the tree...
I also need her to be able to save my money for acreage and house in the country. | |
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