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| Thank you
Posted: 12/14/2005 5:09:29 PM | n6254ac
1. Security reasons...some people say a lot about themselves in a profile and with the added bonus of a name to go by...it's just better to be safe than sorry.
2. It's kind of like a reward for the people who actually email you. On a website, the profile/pic are all like seeing someone across the room in a bar...you then go up to introduce yourself and the email is like the handshake/name.
*they are however, only suggestions...you have to go with what you feel is right for you*
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| Thank you
Posted: 12/14/2005 5:18:00 PM | I know they're only suggestions, any they seem like good ones, and I appreciate them, so I'll be making some changes. I was just wondering about the name thing. Security is a good reason and I liked your analogy with the bar/across the room thing. Thanks again for your time and help Shelly.  | |
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leo210
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Joined: 11/13/2005
Msg: 53 | |
| Thank you
Posted: 12/14/2005 5:20:27 PM | | shell i appreciate the insightful input the song is actually the cover of the rollin stones,by doctor hook and i changed most of the words it actually says,we're big rock singers,got gold on our fingers ,and we love every where we go ,we sing about beauty,and we sing about truth at 10000 dollars a show. once again thanx | |
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| I will seriously edit your profile for you.
Posted: 12/14/2005 6:34:20 PM | Hey Shelley,
Let me know what you think about my profile? I never get any responses, should I add more? I have pictures and everything. Thanks again | |
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| Please Review Me
Posted: 12/14/2005 6:50:37 PM | I'm always interested in hearing the pros/cons of what I've written. Like many, I think I've given an honest attempt at "telling it like it is."
Please Shelly, will you review what I've written? | |
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| I will seriously edit your profile for you.
Posted: 12/15/2005 4:40:29 AM | scotty2hotty
"I love to do anything outdoors. I'm pretty easy going and love trying new things. I like to read; my favorite genres are: suspense and mystery. I love going 4 wheeling, am a very affectionate guy, and I think that's important to a relationship. I drink socially and admit to liking my margaritas, Italian and Mexican food. I like to have a good time with someone who is easy to talk to and fun to be with."
I touche up a few sentence structure things. There is nothing wrong with this profile per se, but it is a little short. Try to expand a bit on why you like the above things, add a few items that you're looking for in a woman or in a relationship.
First Date
"I think its great for a first date or get together to meet for drinks and dinner. If all goes well, we could then head out to a comedy club or to play pool."
I moved the last sentence from first date to the profile because it relates to things you like and gives a hint as to what kind of person you are looking to meet.
Other Stuff
1. It would be great if you could expand your interests. They are primarily ones that you can do alone, it's always good to add some that you could do in a group. Also, when someone does a search, the mutual interests are highlighted, so I would suggest you at least add "reading" to the list itself.
2. There is nothing really wrong with your pics. It's just that they are almost the exact same pic with you in similar poses. I suggest you take a couple more, unique ones, or even some where you are participating in your listed interests.
3. Just make the profile a bit longer.
Good luck! | |
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| Please Review Me
Posted: 12/15/2005 5:03:02 AM | hayzeus
"I believe strongly in friendship and family. I come from a large family, and in times of trouble, I am often astounded at how quickly my siblings have always been there to support me, and I, them. I have children whom I see on the weekends and whom I love more than anything."
Removed all reference to past relationships. No one likes to read about the "other" women/men. Although it's good to say your children are a priority and you're close to your family, talking too much about an ex is a bad idea. In emails or on a date you can explain that you had an amicable split...believe me, they will ask.
"I think living an active lifestyle is important, but I balance that by being able to appreciate the odd lazy day. It's the proper balance of activity and rest that leads to the most fulfilling life. I keep fit by training at a local Karate/Kickboxing club and during the summer months, I also enjoy cycling around forest trails. I like to fish, and when I lived on Vancouver Island (which is where I grew up), I used to be an avid diver, and I hope one day I can pack all my gear down there to go diving again."
Removed the "I, me, personally" statements because they are unnecessary being that it is your profile. Removed the fishing section because it was a little bulky.
"I enjoy watching movies of all types, but I shamelessly admit that some of my favorite movies are out of my childrens' collection. My favorite Disney movie is the Emperor's New Groove, or maybe Ice Age (it's Sid the Sloth...he cracks me up). Beyond the PG stuff, I tend to watch science fiction/fantasy or supernatural/ghost type movies and enjoy a good suspense-thriller."
"I also listen to a *lot* of music. Almost any genre (excepting perhaps...opera) has multiple songs that I enjoy. If you ask me to play cards, my game of choice is Cribbage. I should probably mention that I enjoy playing video games on my PC. While I definately deny being a computer geek, I have been known to show the odd bit of quirky behaviour. I'm human; we're quirky...really!"
I combined the last two paragraphs of description. You can elaborate more on the type of music you like etc., in emails...also, if it does not effect your enjoyment of a game, there is no need to mention the slight "competitiveness".
"I'm here looking for a friend to chat with and get to know over time. After that... well... anything is possible..."
Just changed the ending of the last sentence...it sounded a bit defensive or something.
The major thing was that your profile was a bit too long. Most people like medium-sized, informative/funny ones and it is always a good idea not to make them scroll, so some things I removed if they were a little long.
Other Stuff
1. I suggest rearranging your pics. The first two kind of look the same, like you're squatting down to play with a puppy or something. The last two are more active and colourful.
2. Your interests are good and your first date section is fine. | |
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| I will seriously edit your profile for you.
Posted: 12/15/2005 5:20:23 AM | sliverofhope
"I’m spontaneous and adventurous, which is why I get along so well with the kids in the recreation programs I administer. Somehow, they seem to get my warped sense of humour, but I admit, my Monty Python references are lost on them. I am tactful enough to know that as much as I love it, reciting scenes from the Holy Grail in public is not a good idea. My life is pretty full. The kids I teach keep me laughing, but I also like going to museums and because I trained as a cook, I like throwing dinner parties. On sunny afternoons, you’ll also see me exploring new nooks in the city and I enjoy hiking and camping. However, while there’s lots going on to keep me occupied, I’m also looking for someone who will inspire me to polish up those old world manners I learned as a kid, a woman to snuggle with and even dote on a little.
I'm looking for someone who can share some of my interests, so the most important qualities I'm hoping to find in a partner are someone who is: active, smart, easy going, and has a good sense of humour. Having a more extensive list of qualities you MUST have seems pretty limiting to me and makes it impossible to meet a woman I would never have dreamed was out there."
I took out the references to things you won't do on a first date...some women like to talk before meeting and it may make them think you will rush them into meeting. I rephrased a couple of lines where you mention the "kids", because in a few places it sounded like you had your own kids, rather than teaching them. I took out the "cooking for one" bit because it made you sound a little lonely.
First Date
"This really depends on who I am spending time with. With the right person, a round of mini-golf followed up with martinis could be great, but we can decide that together."
I just took out the bit saying what you wouldn't do. It's better just to stick with what you will do.
Other Stuff
1. Your pics are adorable, but...you smile with your eyes closed. It's very cute, but for right now, I don't think "cute" is what you're looking for. I would suggest you move the last pic to be your primary. Also, the first two pics are the same day/clothes/office...you only need one of them.
Good luck. | |
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| I will seriously edit your profile for you.
Posted: 12/15/2005 4:21:21 PM | kcub63
"I am looking for friendship with no commitment. I am a waitress, living in West-by-God-Virginia. I like down to earth-good 'ole boy-types. I've even been known to appreciate a "redneck" once in a while. Hope to hear from you."
Much, much, much too short. It doesn't say very much about you at all. I deleted the smileys...one isn't bad, but more than that in a profile is visually overwhelming. I would suggest you mention your sense of humour, things you'd like to talk to a friend about, the types of things you'd like to do with a friend, to give people an idea of what type of person you are looking for. Also, if you're looking for friendship, specify which kind...would you like an activity partner, a penpal, a person to go dancing with, a movie date? All this will help people to narrow down your wants and see if they match theirs.
Other Stuff
1. Are you looking for friendship or intimate encounters? If you are really looking for friendship, then why limit your profile to only men? If you are really looking for intimate encounters, then you are going to need pics of yourself (3 if possible) by way of advertisement.
2. I suggest you fix your interests, I think with a comma between them, in order to make them highlighted when someone does a search. Also, it's always a good idea to have more interests, so people will share at least one of them with you.
3. For the "first date" section, I would delete the smiley, unless it's the only one on the page.
Hope this helps. | |
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| I will seriously edit your profile for you.
Posted: 12/15/2005 4:44:33 PM | n32lm
"I am looking to meet new friends and more...if the chemistry is right. I am going to be moving to the Fort Lauderdale/Miami area after January 1st, for work.
I am a hard worker, I like to be busy but I also like to go out and have fun. I am not tired of the bar scene because when I do go, it is to meet with friends that I don't get to see during the week. I also like to dance. I love the summer time and being on the water. I like to work out, snow ski, water ski, and travel/long weekend getaways. I also like to fix up/renov. houses."
Deleted the "can dance" bit because complimenting yourself can sometimes be misinterpreted as bragging. Deleted the part about your dog, because that's personal and if you share it in an email, a person will feel honoured that you chose them to share it with. Plus, a pet passing away recently can be construed by some to be a trauma that you may not be over. Deleted "as many put it" because it is a negative comment towards other PoFers. Did some minor grammar/structure fixes.
"I was born and raised in Kalamazoo, Michigan. I am an R.N. with a bachelors degree, and work in medical sales. I try my best to be kind and considerate and I like to make sure that the people around me are having fun. I admire those who have their goals and priorities set. I have great suits and bumming around clothes but I have a feeling a womans' touch with casual dress would help immensely."
I used the long form for you place of birth, I doubt many people know what "kal" stands for. Rephrased some stuff.
"I am looking for someone that is similar to me: works when it's time to work, plays when it's time to play. I respect kindness and compassion, someone who is aware of her own feelings and the feelings of others...someone with whom I can work with toward a future. I value honesty and commitment in a relationship. I am a one-woman man and expect my partner to share that same belief in monogamy."
I just rephrased some things so that it didn't sound like you had baggage from being cheated on.
First Date
"Let's meet in a comfortable environment for coffee or a meal. If the first date goes well, then the sky is the limit for date number two!"
Just rephrased a couple of things.
Other Stuff
1. I suggest you fill in the "interests" section. Some people only read this section, and when you do a search, any interests that you share are highlighted...this won't happen if you don't have any.
2. Your pics are good, BUT...if you show your chest, you run the risk of some women thinking it isn't "longterm" that you are looking for. It is the same with female profiles who have cleavage shots...it's entirely a personal choice though.
Hope this helps. | |
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| I will seriously edit your profile for you.
Posted: 12/15/2005 5:04:29 PM | xxgitnrdonexx
"I'm a regular guy, a little on the quiet side, but I thaw quickly once I get to know you. I'm your typical down-to-earth man, who treats people with respect and honesty. I've always been good at sitting back and listening to what others have to say. I get along best with people who have a positive attitude. I like to spend my free time in the outdoors and traveling. To me, traveling means seeing how far a tank of gas will get me. I'm not changing my life, I just want to improve it to the tune of one woman."
Removed, "always trying to improve on what I have"...could be interpreted as you're never happy with what you've got. Removed the "perfect date" bit because it has it's own section. Removed the "ideal woman" bit, no woman wants to live up to anyone's ideal, it's impossible. Did some minor rephrasing.
"I am looking for that special someone with whom I can share a mutual satisfaction of the physical and emotional worlds. Someone that I can "click" with on different levels and establish a longterm intimate bond."
Removed the "satisfy my needs" bit, I couldn't think of any way to rephrase it so that it both doesn't sound demanding and also sounds mutual. (k, I tried above to rephrase it, but it's still not great, you may want to remove it entirely). Removed the "treated like a woman should be treated" statement...only women can say that line.
First Date
"Let's start with dinner and a good conversation to get to know one another. If all goes well then perhaps we can go for a drink or walk afterwards to continue our talk."
Just rephrasing.
Other Stuff
1. You might want to add a few of your intellectual interests in the interest section, so that people will have a couple more options to open lines of communication with.
2. You don't have any criteria for people that can email you. If you have any, I suggest you list them, otherwise you're going to have to unnecessarily turn down people who email you. (age limit, location limit, etc.)
Good luck. | |
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| I will seriously edit your profile for you.
Posted: 12/15/2005 5:24:33 PM | Sassy_J1
"I am a fun-loving girl who loves to try new things. That's why I thought I should give this a shot."
Just changed "fun seeking" to "fun-loving"...fun seeking, sounds similar to "looking for a good time"...a euphemism for sex, which you're not looking for.
"I admire mature, confident men who have a life plan. I like to have fun and am looking for someone who is willing to try new things. I appreciate both planning and spontaneity and am looking to share these qualities with a partner."
Just rephrased this paragraph to have a positive bent...always better to say a like than a dislike.
"I am just the girl next door, unconcerned with vanity or the latest fashion craze. I respect honesty and simplicity. Life is too short to waste time and energy playing games."
Just rephrased it so that it doesn't sound like you're comparing yourself to others. Always a good idea not to mention that you don't have many friends.
"I enjoy good conversation and I value my friendships. I'm that person you can always turn to in dark times."
I removed "my one vice" line because it's a little like saying, "my one vice is that I am too beautiful", it can be interpreted as either sarcasm or ego.
"I am currently learning Latin dancing and am in need of a partner. Sometimes I like to go out to party, while other times I want to cook a meal and cuddle in front of the T.V. or fireplace. School is really important to me because I have a career goal that I am working towards.
I am looking for someone who is open about their emotions, has a reasonable goal in life, and has a great sense of humor."
I deleted the last line because you already have the age limitations in the bottom section of your profile.
First Date
"I'd like going for drinks, or even dinner and if the date goes well, maybe we could try a little dancing."
Deleted "I am very good" line, because the only people who can say that is the people you've been on dates with. Deleted the "dutch" bit, because if someone wants to go dutch, you'll find out when the bill comes, it's not necessary to say.
Other Stuff
1. Actually, everything else is fine. I will always suggest everyone's primary pic have a smile though... | |
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| I will seriously edit your profile for you.
Posted: 12/15/2005 5:31:57 PM | QsGyrl
"I'm curious as to what it's like to be with a woman...I'm looking for a friendship that can be discrete...so...If you think that you can fulfill my fantasy holla at me..."
I won't edit this because it's only one line so far. I will give you a bunch of suggestions though.
1. Treat this as you would any other profile. Fill out every section.
2. If you're not sure where to start, ask yourself some questions...
a) Do I want long term or short term or just intimate encounter...
b) What type of woman do I find attractive, what personality traits and physical features...
c) What will she probably like to know about me before we communicate...
d) What are my hobbies and interests...
e) What are the hobbies and interests that I hope we can share...
3. I would still suggest at least one pic of you smiling, and if you choose "intimate encounter", I would suggest that you have some revealing pics, or some available to email to those people who you discover that you like through emails or IM's
Start with that and then write a bit of a profile and I'll look at it again once you tell me it's updated, okay?
Good luck. | |
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| I will seriously edit your profile for you.
Posted: 12/15/2005 5:45:20 PM | Kev2005a
"I’m looking for someone to share and enjoy life with. I’m content and happy with myself, but know moments can be more fulfilling when there is someone special to experience them with.
I’m easy to get along with, and have a good work ethic with a laid back personality. My life is stable and I have a great relationship with my family. I highly value honesty and integrity.
"I work in IT at a financial services organization in downtown Minneapolis. It’s a challenging and intense job, but I like it. I think having a job you enjoy is an important part of having a happy life.
I go biking often when the weather is nice enough, for recreation, not competition. I’m planning to take up cross-country skiing this winter to stay active."
I just rephrased "not like those other guys", always better not to compare.
"Other activities I like: traveling, going to Wolves or Vikings games, listening to obscure music, playing games, and watching movies on cold winter nights while drinking green tea. I like reading, and have a habit of forcing myself to finish a book even if it’s bad. (I refuse to start another Ayn Rand book.) I’m also flexible and enjoy museums, concerts, plays… whatever might be fun.
I have a couple of cats that are entertaining and lovable. You’ll want to reach down and scratch their bellies as soon as you see them!
I enjoy learning about other people and their opinions. I want to know how your day went, if you thought last week’s Simpsons episode was another disappointment, and your true opinion of my eggnog cookies.
Ideally you are levelheaded, yet do not take life too seriously. It would be great if we shared an ability to laugh and had some of the same interests.
Hope to hear from you!"
Just some minor rephrasing. You may want to remove the "Ayn Rand" bit, in case of alienating Ayn Rand fans...but on the other hand, you may want to keep it in for that very reason. :).
First Date
"Something where we can get to know each other better: coffee, lunch, dinner, dessert, a walk, whatever sounds fun."
One word difference.
Other Stuff
1. Fill out the profession section in the categories above your profile.
2. Fill out the interests section. Some people only read this section and when you do a search, mutual interests are highlighted, but only if you list them. A general guideline is 5+ and make sure some of them are activities that you can share...
3. I would suggest a pic of you smiling as your primary. It also wouldn't hurt, as you say you like the theatre, to have a pic of you in your fancy duds.
Hope this helps. | |
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| I will seriously edit your profile for you.
Posted: 12/15/2005 5:47:19 PM | Please do it, I'd love to get a neutral opinion. By the way, I love yours.
I ask a few female and male friends about my profile and they liked the way I wrote it, but of course, they are my friends.
:) | |
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MattMo
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Joined: 12/6/2005
Msg: 75 | |
| Thank you
Posted: 12/15/2005 6:47:43 PM | | How about mine! | |
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