| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 1/14/2007 4:23:15 PM | Forgive...in time...long time.
Forget? Never. No matter how much you lie to yourself, it's always lurking in a dark corner of your mind.
He cheated, but I loved him. We tried to work things out, but I never fully trusted him after it. He cheated again...so it's over.
You hope, you wish, and you pray that it is a one time occurance. Then you snap out of the shock...and realize you deserve better. | |
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| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 1/14/2007 4:38:47 PM | You hit the nail on the head "bored 2 tears" with that answer.
Spot on, couldn't say it better myself! | |
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| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 1/15/2007 9:46:30 AM | | I don't personally believe that once a cheater always a cheater. If someone's cheating it's because they are not satified in the relationship or they just have mental issues they have to work out on their own. I do believe that a person can change or learn their lesson. And I also believe that if someone is stuck in a marriage that they are very unhappy with..then they shouldn't have to suffer. We are only human beings and we all have needs. But I also believe that sex is such a personal, intimate feeling you share with someone and for them to share it with someone else is the ultimate betrayal, and it's the big lie that comes with it. So all in all, No...I don't think I could forgive. | |
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| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 1/15/2007 12:47:49 PM | can i forgive him looking at porn over me on the web? can i forgive him overly-flirting with that sneaky b*tch at the party while i was in the bathroom? can i forgive him kissing/touching someone else when he(& she) KNOWS he's 'got me'? can i forgive him for talking about personal things with a co-worker that verge on sexual harassment if someone else heard it? can i forgive him of his c*ck getting hard and finding its way to another females' conquering vagina? NO.....   'what comes around goes around.... it goes Both Ways... | |
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| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 1/15/2007 12:49:36 PM | quick answer....
NO
that being said are you talking about flirting or f##king cause those are 2 different things! | |
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| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 1/15/2007 2:40:34 PM | I will forgive everything and will forget a lot but ....
I will not forgive anyone for killing my loved ones or killing me or cheating on me. I will not forget and I will not forgive until the day fair justice is rendered in this life or the hereafter. These are two types of crimes I cannot deal with at all. They tear me apart. To me, cheating IS a crime.
So I repeat NO in all directions. | |
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Femm14
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Joined: 7/26/2006
Msg: 432 | |
| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 1/15/2007 6:38:55 PM | From my experiences, no you can't forgive and forget..I thought I could when my ex cheated on me..But I never forgot, so I never truly forgave him...About a year after the breakup I really forgave him, and forgave myself for being such a hardass about it all..I'd say - you have nothing to keep you in the relationship other than feelings so why stay?
Femm | |
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| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 1/15/2007 6:41:00 PM | Katherine, Woamn you really hit it on the head with your reply about forgiving cheating. I am late in the game here with this but I too have been dealing with the same issues just recently and what you said really helped me. Thank you. And I too believe that once a cheater always a cheater, it is something in the "soul" of a person that cheats, it is their "character" and without "trust" any relationship will fail. Thank you Katherine!!! Ally  | |
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| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 1/15/2007 6:45:37 PM | | Sorry, but if someone is in a relationship that isn't meeting all their needs, then it is up to that person to be "big enough" and emotionally mature" enough to speak to their partner and talk about what isn't satisfying to them. NOT to go out and cheat and be so hurtful and sneaky about it. That is just disrespectful to their partner. Somehow "cheaters" never really think about what it does to the other person involved who doesn't know about the cheating. And I believe in "what goes around comes around" for all of our actions.. Someday those people themselves will feel the pain that they have caused someone else. Think they are going to like it?? Probably not. Cheaters have no compassion for others feelings.... ust my opinion. Ally | |
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| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 1/15/2007 6:55:31 PM | | Yes, I believe that people make mistakes.. Although i say this coming from every relationship ive been in they have always cheated on me, and it happened numerous times but i thought that i would be a nice partner and take them back.. but you know.. Most of them stopped cheating after i told them i was going to leave. | |
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| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 1/15/2007 7:27:18 PM | Josie,
You didn't outline the circumstances, and I think that's key to understanding the situation pertaining to you. Sometimes, as in the case of Ross and Rachel, two people are ON A BREAK, and thereby feel free to jump into someone else's bed; while others, find themselves at a party INTOXICATED and end up doing something terribly stupid.
So, what happened? | |
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| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 1/15/2007 10:12:31 PM | | You can always forgive but you'll never forget. Even though you may want to work it out, I just don't think you can ever love someone the same after that happens. My advice to you would be to move on. You deserve to find someone who appreciates you. | |
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| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 1/15/2007 11:08:50 PM | | Well forgiveness doesn't mean you are saying what the other person did was acceptable. It's about letting it go, so you can move on for your own sake. So I think I would forgive after some time of grief, but I would never stay with the person. Once I found out it would be over. | |
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| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 1/15/2007 11:12:08 PM | | I'd forgive my girlfriend for cheating, but not my wife. We're talking a big difference in the degree of committment, and therefore, the level of trust. | |
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| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 1/16/2007 12:28:34 AM | I forgave my ex twice.
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And that was one of the biggest mistakes of my life.
But, I'd do it again. Benefit of the doubt and addiction to pain, you know. But everyone deserves the chance to be heard without being judged first.
If I were married to them, Not a chance in hell. I'd sell her ring and use it for an all expense paid vacation to costa-rica. Yeaaaaah.
Marriage is a sacred covenant. Someone who'd throw that away, deserves to get thrown away. | |
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| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 1/16/2007 1:49:27 AM | | You can forgive but won't forget some people do it because there not getting what they want out of a relationship and if thats the case get out of the relationship but I will say this people can change but you have to trust that they will or its not worth your time. | |
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rasnar
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Joined: 10/18/2006
Msg: 443 | |
| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 1/16/2007 3:13:06 AM | | In order to be able to forgive u need to forget.but there is somethings cant be forgotten.i dont think i would forgive or forget. good luck to you | |
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| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 1/16/2007 7:30:01 AM | | In a word.........NO!!!!! and all this talk about something lacking at home...Bullsh*t. In most cases they like the attention of another woman or man (whatever the case is) they thrive on the attention, they like the newness of another partner, some even like the thrill of possibly getting caught..sick, selfish f*cks is what they are...they really don't care that they're hurting someone they apparently care about, breaking up families, hurting the children that are involved...If something is lacking at home, you talk about it, you try to fix it, if you can't fix it...move on.....you don't humiliate your partner by cheating...BAD! BAD! BAD!....BAD!...Is it really obvious that I had an ex cheat on me before?......BAD!!! | |
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| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 1/16/2007 8:42:50 AM | | Of the million reasons for cheating, none are a feasible excuse for cheating. The answer is NO! | |
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| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 1/16/2007 8:42:56 AM | | Forgive your self and find someone who wants to be with you and be true to you. | |
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| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 1/16/2007 9:23:19 AM | | look at why he cheated i think if you love him give him a second chance everybody can make mistake | |
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| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 1/16/2007 9:23:24 AM | | look at why he cheated i think if you love him give him a second chance everybody can make mistake | |
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| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 1/16/2007 11:52:56 AM | depends on the seriousness of it, if she had ben seing him behind my back for some time then most likely not as its showing sh can'tbe truthfull to you and what good is a relationship if you can't trust each other and lie?
if it was one off, e.g. ended up in bed one night and she admits she wished it hadn't happened then yeah, its not my problem she has to live with the fact.
this happened to me i was willing to take her back but she said she thinks it wouldnt be fair on me? | |
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| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 1/16/2007 12:21:26 PM | Bored you are so right. I forgave the first time, but in retrospect, I was really never able to trust again. I shut part of myself away.
The second time was it. He still comes by and asks to be forgiven. I have forgiven this time, really, and moved on. Forgiven myself for being nieve enough to take him back the first time! | |
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