|
|
|
|
|
| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/11/2007 11:02:52 PM | | well let exsplain this if to people are together and they been together for some time the eat sleep do every thing together why in gods name would the other cheat unless that other was not happy in the relationship but thats not a exscuse to cheat i had it done to me and it hurts feels like some one close to u had died and yes a person may feel a bit anger ect but he should have spokend to first insted of the cheating .and yes i heard the same befor once a cheater always a cheater and to be honest i wouldnt waste my time with it take time for your self and trust me there are better men out there .. | |
|
| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/11/2007 11:14:04 PM | I couldn't ever forgive again.
I did once and we see how that turned out... definitely once a cheater, always a cheater.
Cheaters don't deserve to be forgiven, they deserve to have their balls cut off and shoved down their throat.  | |
|
| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/11/2007 11:48:13 PM |
Well...if a guy or a gal runs to someone else it's usually cuz you couldn't furnish what he was looking for....or...he wouldn't give it up.
Not true. I've talked to cheaters who were getting the best sex of their life from their spouses. Nothing since has equalled it.
If you give a woman a flower a day within a short period of time the flower has no value. Married life can be difficult. A woman can be an emotional creature and it is difficult to fulfill their emotional needs over the long haul.
Now I'm sure there is an equivilent to the men's side in some form.
I can see how certain things are going on now within couples that I could not see before. I was a devoted husband and incredible father for over twenty years. No matter what kind of man you are I assure you it has nothing to do with it unless your just a very stupid man.
WEll when it happened to me I could not believe it. But then I got mad and then I got even. Well not really. I over did it. Way more than even.
Is that a good justification? No. I hurt other women along that road who were truely and honestly into me because I had no intention of staying with them regardless of what happened with the marriage.
It was once said to me that if one was looking for hell then this place would serve. But I think we make it that way and the world is just fine.  | |
|
| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/12/2007 4:38:45 AM | | Then you don't know the real meaning of forgive. To forgive means that you give up the resentment, that you no longer allow what happened to have a negative affect on you and your life.... that does not include forgetting. Of course you won't forget, in order to forget you would have to have some form of dementia. | |
|
| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/12/2007 7:48:44 AM |
Cheaters don't deserve to be forgiven, they deserve to have their balls cut off and shoved down their throat
Cheaters deserve to die and if u back out of killing them u have no right to disect their body however u choose - the punishment for teaching cruelty that moses prescribes is that what u cause someone to do is done to u and the reason women are so quick to castrate members is they think that there's no way to respond in kind so there's no danger to them but moses prescribed that when eye for eye was practiced in this situation, since she had no member, her hand was cut off. Watch your foolish tongue missy! | |
|
| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/12/2007 8:17:01 AM | Im with you 'littlemiss'...
Now i dont advocate violence But im real enough with myself to know even if i forgive and let go of resentment and all of the other baggage attatched..I would never be able to forget.. And women know that our imaginations can be cruel!! It would have to be a wrap!
Hey I would love to hear from women who have gotten caught cheating... Since women tend to be more emotional creatures i want to know if their cheating stemmed from emotional needs getting satisfied or JUST physical...? | |
|
| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/12/2007 8:26:07 AM | I think it is about Honesty and Trust........ What I am saying is people make mistakes you just have to know that person is truely sorry and feel miserable about it. Sure it will hurt the relationship at first but whatever you work thru will only make you stronger. Ex: my gdaddy cheated a long time ago 1 time he told me it was the worst mistake he ever made but my gma took him back and they are the still happily married and i know it happened b4 i was born so they been together more than 23 yrs.... People make mistakes but if you love each other you can work thru anything
NOT SAYIN ITS OK TO GO OUT AND CHEAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So yes you can forgive just never forget | |
|
| |
| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/12/2007 8:49:34 AM | | how can you really trust a cheater after they cheater. you really look at them in another way. to me once a cheater always a cheater. no foregiveness | |
|
| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/12/2007 9:08:38 AM | ^^^ agreed ^^^
I give my trust 100% at the onset of a relationship, but if you betray it, you will never have it back.
*C* | |
|
| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/12/2007 9:44:50 AM | Well the Lord says forgive...
but that doesnt mean I will be with you once i do... | |
|
| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/12/2007 7:36:47 PM | In any relationship, I can put up with a lot of situations. It is all a matter of trust, love and understanding.
However... if you cheat on me you will be wearing my 13" foot in your a$$ as you waddle out the door...forever. | |
|
| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/12/2007 7:47:29 PM | | the human back only has so many areas that a knife can be thrust through without damaging something vital. | |
|
| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/12/2007 9:15:45 PM | | Forgive..yes, forget..no...will it happen again..no, because he had me once but when he stepped beyond that boundary that would be it..no more chances. Once a cheater- always a cheater in my eyes. Yes, I would forgive him, because I choose to move on with my life..but it will be him that lost the best thing that ever happened to him! But, also - I've been married twice, once for 7 yrs, the 2nd was 24 yrs..and I was never cheated on. But, I wouldn't tolerate someone doing that to me, no way....he wants others then don't even bother asking me to marry him..because those vows mean the world to me!! | |
|
| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/13/2007 10:20:07 AM | I tried. My X cheated on me 3 years ago. I found out and packed her clothes in her car and called and told her to come get them, I knew and I was done.
She was furious, and left in a rage. Went and moved in with her lover. A real looser by the way.
Within a few days she was calling crying and begging for my forgiveness. She did everything from threaten suicide to promising me that she would do anything to make it up to me if I would let her come home.
I finally agreed to go to counseling, and after about a month and a half broke down and let her come back, because I really did love her.
She claimed she did it because she believed I was having an affair when I was traveling with my job.
I finally forgave her and wrote it off in my mind as a mistake and being human. But soon after coming back home her jealousy became worse than ever. She would constantly make accusations, ask accusing questions, and just be totally unreasonable.
I was putting her affair behind me and she would throw a fit if I didn't answer my phone, even if I called back five minutes later.
She was convinced I would go out and get even for her indiscretion.
Every time she would act this way I would think; What the hell? What gives you the right to treat me this way, especially after what you did. You should be grateful to still be here.
So after trying to reason with, warning her multiple times, and finally moving into my basement office, I left.
The bottom line is, maybe if someone is genuinely repentant, and if you can truly let go and forgive their mistake, you can survive an affair.
Otherwise, don't make my mistake and even attempt it. If he tries to blame it on you in any way, walk away and don't look back. | |
|
| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/13/2007 11:25:03 AM | Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 12/14/2005 7:06:54 PM
I've always been a firm believer of once a cheater always a cheater
That says it all...my wife cheated on me...we tried, but it never did work out..and we had kids. If you are dealing with someone without empathy, then it will not work..if you are dealing with someone who can't forgive THEMSELF for what they did to you..it won't work. You're not married, you don't have kids...you can almost bet a million bucks he'll do it again>
I agree and NO I wont forgive that . You dont spend years in a great marriage just to end up deceived and betrayed, will it happen again YES. Can they be trusted, NO. If a cheater was a honest partner then they should NOT be married or in a monogamous relationship - when they choose to be unfaithful. Its just dishonest heartless cruelty and abuse to assume anyone deserves that - for the love they devotedly gave to you.
Cheaters are liars and dont deserve to be forgiven or trusted again. Once a cheater always a cheater, its really sad
BUT I believe ITS really true.
javascript:smilie(' ') | |
|
| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/14/2007 6:29:26 AM | yes, i'd date someone who has cheated on a past lover. I have cheated on past lovers. People can change, but only if they want with all their heart. I do. I am in the process of a possible relationship, and the future of it hangs in the balance, as we are both ex (and current, with eachother) cheaters. But if you hide it from a future partner, so they don't worry, is that better? Isn't that just building on a foundation that is a lie? And if you come clean, then they may never trust you, even though you have no intention of doing it ever again.
It's catch 22 in my opinion, and ultimately, I would say that it all depends on strength, courage and, ulitmately, ironically, honesty. Honesty with yourself, as well as the other party. Don't write us all off, we may have cheated, but at least we're telling the truth. | |
|
| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/14/2007 9:26:03 AM | | Just to add perspective to this thread, I don't believe in the term "Forgive and Forget". This is what I know and what's true. EVERYONE LIES. Whether someone tells a white lie - which is primarily used as a self defense mechanism; or a black lie, when one want to purposely manipulate you/others for self gain or amusement. EVERYONE LIES. People will appear apologetic and say heartfelt words conveying sorrow and shame, but realize, they are just words. Remember, action speak volumes and words are just words. Instead of trying to forgive and forget that person, accept responsibility and be accountable for your feelings, and acknowledge that you will can not change or even forget the pain and hurt that person caused you. Now you have a decision to make, (1) you either ACCEPT what happened with that person, & understand you can't change what happened, and move on with that person - realizing the potential of this occurrence happening again, or (2) Accept what happened, acknowledge you can't change the past, create an emotionally safe sanctuary for yourself, and move on with your life without that person. What many people fail to remember is that you "forgiving and forgetting" also implies that you are wanting/hoping the other person to change. Only person we can change is is ourselves and how we see our problems. Continue to be safe | |
|
| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/14/2007 12:12:41 PM | | ok it all boils down to one thing ok if a man or women cheats on the other thats not fair for the other regardless if some forgive. u dont know if your partner cault any thing and would u want any thing your partner cault from cheating in my case no when a person is in a relationship and a long term one theres a bond there once that bonds been sevesrd thers no trust so my point is that if a person takes the risk to go out and cheat on there partner they made there bed they lay in it i never went for cheaters my self i rather have the one i was with comfront me first then go behind my back and do it i would think many will agree with me on that ...but this world we live in has chanced so much and what u see on tv with all that sex on it dont help any its out there women who exspose more of them selfs to attact men as same as men do the same to women so i think a lot has to do whats out there .. | |
|
| RE: Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/14/2007 12:18:30 PM | | If they do it once, they are going to do it again. Personally, I don't have any time in my life for someone who can't keep their pants on around other guys while in a committed relationship. | |
|
| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/14/2007 12:21:17 PM | yes!!..I can forgive..
after all....its only sex!!
I would hope that there was more to a relationship I was in..then sex.
I would look at what was missing in that relationship to make him look elsewhere..what he was lacking and I would try to fix it.
It is all about communication. | |
|
| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/14/2007 3:08:44 PM | hmmm let me think about this one
HELL NO
if they want forgiveness , talk to Jesus. | |
|
| |
| |
| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/14/2007 5:55:30 PM | "The person was not trying to humiliate or punish or in any other way hurt their partner."
Are you for real????? Of course the cheating partners knows, in most circumstances, that cheating would humiliate and hurt the partner. The only exception to that I can see is if a couple agrees to both have an open relationship. But if fidelity is expected, then of course it will hurt, demean, disrespect. It is utter disrespect! Affairs don't just happen; they start in the mind, just like everything else in life. They start by thinking there's nothing wrong with it, by justifying it, etc.
what i don't understand about these cowards is this: why do they think it's ok for them to cheat, but do not tell the partner so he/she can also cheat? why are they the only ones who can have an additional partner(s), but the first partner can't? This is not fair. It's also not fair to take away the choices of one who knows he/she would not stay in a relationship like that if he/she knew. | |
|
|
| Page 29 of 49
|
9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49 |
|
Home
login 
