| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/1/2008 11:25:13 AM | Im not sure if forgiving is the right word. Its actually moving on and getting over the person that did this. I wouldnt forgive and forget, it is a trust issue and that is never easy to over come.
Even if after the person cheats and you decide to give that person one more chance, then you have to be able to move foward beyond what happened. It wont be easy and all good things in life never come easy. | |
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| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/1/2008 11:30:08 AM | | No, you can never forgive somebody for cheating. They will do it again and again, they won't change. It hurts, but you'll get through it. When someone cheats on you, it shows a total lack of respect for you and it destroys your trust, which you worked so hard to build. You just have to let it go. And you have to start over with dating and hope it doesn't happen again, no guarantees. | |
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| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/1/2008 12:20:32 PM | If I really loved and cared for someone there is no way I would risk the relationship by messing around with someone else.
Trust and honesty are the vital basis for any relationship, if they arent there you have nothing.
I am sorry but I wouldnt have forgiven them I would have booted her out the door as soon as I found out. | |
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| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/1/2008 2:01:55 PM | Sad in many ways, some people just have a cheating heart, so to speak! The cheating man can't keep his manhood in his pants and the cheating woman can't keep her legs crossed!
I asked an old friend that I knew ran around in his younger years how he justified cheating on his wife(s). He said many men (and I guess women) justify it by 'compartimentalizing' sex. Your wife is the one you love and then there is a woman one meets and picks up for sex. He said sex is sex - an act - nothing to do with the one you love. Like give me a break and try another justification!
Can you forgive a cheater? Why did they feel they had to cheat? How many times did they cheat and get away with it, one has to ask themselves. How many times did you see all the signs and still close your eyes to them? If a man or woman is actively looking around on their partner there is cheating going on - if only in their mind until someone says yes to them.
Depends on the circumstances as to why they cheated. Legally separated at the time then that is understandable, you are each free to go your separate ways - as long as they didn't ask for the separation to go out and sleep around, get bored because they didn't find anything better and ask for a reconciliation.
Forgive them once if you want depending on the circumstances. They do it again then you forgive yourself for being so stupid to forgive them the first time. | |
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| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/1/2008 4:05:52 PM | | Ok after working 13 years in a law office and having a few guys cheat on me, I know how unlikely it is that man will change---at least while he is with the woman he is cheating on. I have seen some men cheat with one woman but not another. A lot of people seem to think it is just about the sex. Its not. If a person cheats it usually means that their relationship just is not *doing it* for them, they have chosen not to discuss it or work it out, but instead to try to find fulfillment elsewhere. Its a choice that is freely made to put the relationship and the partner's trust in the garbage for (maybe) a few hours of selfish pleasure. | |
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| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/1/2008 4:21:45 PM | | No....they will do it again and again. I have taken this person back and he cannot help himself!!! Will never go there again...it is tooo painful, all the lies and deception. Please take my advise...you are worth more than that and you will find someone that truly loves you and that will be soon...let the **stard go. | |
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| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/1/2008 4:50:13 PM | | I am going to say I honestly dont know what I would do if that were to happen to me..I really dont know if I could ever FORIVE that person..what I do know is that If it happened, I would never ever forget it happened..and like on poster said, by not forgetting, it means you did not forgive..so I guess that means I would never forgive? umm..well yeah, I guess so *shrugs* | |
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| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/1/2008 4:52:33 PM |
My ex-husband cheated on me, and we did get back together after several weeks. Unfortunately, things were never the same emotionally
well yes exactly..thats the thing when one partner cheats on the othe rin a relationship..even if the cheatee forgives, he/she probably wont EVER forget..and once it happens, usually the relationship is never the same, in most cases.. | |
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| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/1/2008 5:04:15 PM | blah blah blah..
just leave them alone and they'll come home wagging their tails behind them!!! | |
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| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/3/2008 12:12:32 PM | | Forgive? hmm... Forget? NO. I do believe that once a cheater, always a cheater. Once someone disrespects you & crosses that line, I would NEVER be with them EVER again. End of story. | |
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claral
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Joined: 5/9/2008
Msg: 1188 | |
| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/3/2008 2:36:49 PM | No twice i got cheated on and twice i showed them the door its not my style to play oh well lets see if we can work it out............you cheat YOUR problem | |
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| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/14/2008 10:15:17 AM | Here's something to think about..... I've been cheated on by both my ex husbands. I had thought the last guy I was involved with was the one, but found out that his mistress was one of the chemical kind......... I feel it is far worse to have to deal with that type that the female one....... Any feedback would be helpful.
~k~ | |
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| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/14/2008 8:16:19 PM | Nope, cut and dry issue for me. Cheat once and it's done. I firmly believe if someone does it one time, they'll very likely do it again.
Unless you really don't care if someone's screwing around on you, not sure how anyone could just accept it and not emotionally detach from the person who did it to them due to the now ever present lack of trust. | |
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| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/14/2008 8:23:23 PM | | Ewwwwwww, who wants to be sloppy 2nds, 3rds or possibly even more? I THINK NOT!!!!!!!!! | |
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| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/14/2008 8:36:52 PM | | When I was married, my husband cheated...I've never felt so awful, humiliated, angry, sick to my stomach(literally), and many other things. I decided to forgive and work towards a solution to a percieved problem. I made the concessions, and guess what...the affair had continued the whole time. When his sister told me about what was still going on, I filed for divorce. I took his house and everything else. I do believe that the "cheater" mentality persists, and they don't change. They tell u what u want to hear to keep their life in the means they are accustomed. I have to give him a bit of credit though, I went back to school, got another degree and never looked back! Now I make twice as much as him and never have to be dependent on a man ever again if I don't want to be! Good luck to you...think hard about it! | |
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| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/14/2008 8:44:16 PM | That has to be one of the most sensitive topics a man and woman or husband and wife can get into. I believe whatever stage the relationship is at, the relationship itself needs to be just looked at. Then if it worth discussing the circumstances of where, what, how, why and who; next the couple has to become "one again" since they seperated to "two people" and work on spiritual edification through faith, prayer,counselling , togetherness and actually being unselfish.
Bible quote" Jesus says husbands love your wives as you love and serve th church.
"meaning 100% and don't slack off"
Wives OBEY your husbands" Back over 2000 years ago the definition of obey is not the translation that we understand today. It is not derogatory. It actually just means togetherness respect follow suggestions as a family not disrespect"
kinda work together. if you work with the person your with you don't have time to cheat. | |
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| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/14/2008 8:49:03 PM | not so much no! just move on life goes on try to forget about the fact that it happened and forget about the person. once a cheater always a cheater at least i think that's how it goes.
-Dave | |
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| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/14/2008 9:50:32 PM | FORGIVE?
Sure , I can FORGIVE...but forgiving ones actions does not mean I would stay in a relationship with that person!
I would not carry the anger with me,..I would FORGIVE, BUT...I would also let go of that person and let them be free to FIND THEMSELVES...To explore other people..If ,I alone cannot make a man HAPPY, CONTENT and SATISIFIED...Then he is FREE to move on, with my blessing to find what or whom it is that he needs..I cant hate someone for following their desires..I choose to be a faithful , loyal partener but if my mate cant be...then I FORGIVE him and I move on ... | |
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| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/14/2008 10:17:28 PM | | I cannot forgive cheating simply because there is no reason to cheat on someone......if you meet someone new then be straight up with the person you are seeing.......thats all there is to it really......If someone cheats on you they don't respect you....if you forgive that....then you don't respect yourself. | |
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| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/14/2008 10:50:14 PM | I agree with the poster above me.....forgive?....nope....the relationship is over....trust is a non-negotiable issue for me.....and in this case, once broken even super glue couldn't repair it.....if she cheated, it would always be there in the back of my mind.....i couldn't live with that.... | |
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| Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/14/2008 11:16:55 PM | Not so sure about once a cheater, always a cheater, but the trust is GONE! whether he's cheating or not you will always suspect him of it. It took a few years to forgive my EX for cheating, and after 5 years when he and his "live-in" argue, he wants to have dinner and talk about where things went wrong. I think men cheat when their given the opportunity. Its up to us ladies to be the stronger species  | |
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