| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/18/2005 6:52:09 AM | For the record - need is NOT permanent. Needs change far more easily than wants. All that needs to happen to change someone needing you is for her to find someone else to fill that need - or to learn to do it for herself.
A woman who is with a man because she NEEDS to be rather than because she wants to be - will be out of there as soon as she learns to do her own taxes, chop her own wood or make her own decisions - or when she finds someone else that can do it for her who doesn't make her feel dependent on him for it.
When a woman WANTS to be with you, that doesn't change because she gets a better job, learns how to balance her checkbook or figures out that other men want her too.
And that's not gender specific, btw. I'd far rather be with a man who wants MY company than with a man who is with me because he NEEDS a woman in his life. | |
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Joani
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Joined: 10/10/2005
Msg: 77 | |
| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/18/2005 8:09:00 AM | I agree with above,
Maybe some men can't get past the fact they are in our life because we want them there, not because we need them. It should be a complement to them but some don't see it that way.
I think now a days, men like the independence in a women, it takes off some pressure. | |
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| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/18/2005 8:29:35 AM | | Ladies, please do not loose sight of the fact that as glorious a mystery as you are for us that we too are individuals and in the end no more a product of stereotype than you are. One person's strength is another's intimidation. Men happy within themselves cannot help but be enthralled with the same within a woman. Men that put themselves against the world will always have a problem seeing an ally in a woman of direction. The more substantial we make ourselves the more substance we require from those we see ourselves with. Confidence and capability are glorious provided they are fostered from beautiful spirits. | |
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| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/18/2005 7:33:25 PM |
For the record - need is NOT permanent. Needs change far more easily than wants. All that needs to happen to change someone needing you is for her to find someone else to fill that need - or to learn to do it for herself.
when i was born I NEEDED oxygen and you know what ? I still do ., When i was 7 I WANTED an X-Wing fighter , now at 35 not so much .
A woman who is with a man because she NEEDS to be rather than because she wants to be - will be out of there as soon as she learns to do her own taxes, chop her own wood or make her own decisions - or when she finds someone else that can do it for her who doesn't make her feel dependent on him for it.
If I am not needed then why am I there ? what is my purpose?
To quote Agent smth: "There is no escaping reason; no denying purpose. Because as we both know, without purpose, we would not exist
It is purpose that created us.
Purpose that connects us.
Purpose that pulls us.
Purpose that guides us.
Purpose that drives us.
It is purpose that defines us.
Purpose that binds us. "
When a woman WANTS to be with you, that doesn't change because she gets a better job, learns how to balance her checkbook or figures out that other men want her too.
No it changes simply because her tastes change and that is a far easier feat than the ones you mentioned as reasons a woman who needed me would leave .
The sad truth is people will leave other people with no thoughts of the others feelings even when the pther never actually did anything to the other person to cause such a change in effection .
And that's not gender specific, btw. I'd far rather be with a man who wants MY company than with a man who is with me because he NEEDS a woman in his life.
his want will change at a whim , gain a few pounds or start showing age and he may be gone .
If he needs you then it is based on something only you can provide , then the other superficial stuff dont matter . | |
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| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/18/2005 8:22:44 PM |
his want will change at a whim, gain a few pounds or start showing age and he may be gone.
If he needs you then it is based on something only you can provide, then the other superficial stuff don’t matter.
If someone no longer "wants" you because you have aged, or gained a few pounds, that person did not love you and you are better off without them in your life.
I desire a man to want me. Want me because he enjoys my company, want me because I'm a positive influence in his life, want me because I make him feel good when he is with me, want me because I provide the love and companionship that he desires, want me because I stimulate him intellectually, want me because I make him happy, want me because I’m loyal, and trustworthy, and a true friend.
I do not want a man to need me.
I think in order to have a healthy relationship; both parties must enter as complete, independent individuals, able to fulfill their own needs without relaying on another person to fill a void, or complete them.
Vive la difference
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| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/18/2005 8:41:37 PM |
I desire a man to want me. Want me because he enjoys my company, want me because I'm a positive influence in his life, want me because I make him feel good when he is with me, want me because I provide the love and companionship that he desires, want me because I stimulate him intellectually, want me because I make him happy, want me because I’m loyal, and trustworthy, and a true friend.
In some those are also needs .
I do not want a man to need me.
I think in order to have a healthy relationship; both parties must enter as complete, independent individuals, able to fulfill their own needs without relaying on another person to fill a void, or complete them.
nature has shown us that simbiotic relationships are very benificial.
take the pilet fish and the shark , the pilot fish its the alge from the sharks gills helping the shark to breath better , the shark keeps other prediters away from the pilot fish , they ned each other so their relationship is older than the existance of most life on earth . (and its the reason that pilot fish are one of the few fish sharks dont eat).
Again if I am not needed what is my purpose ?
Again I quote :
"There is no escaping reason; no denying purpose. Because as we both know, without purpose, we would not exist
It is purpose that created us.
Purpose that connects us.
Purpose that pulls us.
Purpose that guides us.
Purpose that drives us.
It is purpose that defines us.
Purpose that binds us. " | |
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| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/18/2005 8:49:11 PM | In some those are also needs .
In the list I provided, there is not one thing that I would consider a need. A need is something you can not live without.
What is my purpose?
My purpose is to be the best person I can be. To contribute to society, and to give back. | |
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| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/18/2005 9:05:36 PM | Not all of us think the same.
I am sure you will find a damsel to rescue.
Keep your armor shiny and your steed at the ready.
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| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/18/2005 9:42:29 PM | So true Katherine001
I can get my own butt outta sling....
But would rather have a mate to be there, to help keep me from getting it there in the first place... | |
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| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/18/2005 9:54:25 PM | a strong "character" ~ means a strong "spirit" ~ I would rather be viewed as that, then a little waif of a thing ~ even Scarlet O'hara portrayed herself as having a strong "character", but in the true sense she was not ~ she was just a spoiled "B" | |
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| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/18/2005 10:09:36 PM | OT: I believe men may be more leary than intimidated by a "strong woman." Each person has their own "idea" of what intimidation vs. strong is....some who see themselves as "intimidating and/or strong" aren't always so....however, a man that is truly secure within himself WILL be confidant with a strong woman, realize she is HIS; compliment him so whereby both compromise for what each may not be best in and finally, KNOW it and be proud of her!!
just a POV.... | |
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| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/19/2005 2:18:14 PM |
Men want to be needed
uhh, no, men want to be appreciated. So simple, yet so hard to find. | |
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| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/20/2005 11:56:38 AM | I Just Want To Be Loved. lol, By the way JaqiO,Your right on the money,with your post,Kudos to you.Ciao,NY | |
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| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/20/2005 12:09:33 PM | I am going to give a different perspective here. I think that it is a classical view (to a lesser degree now, but still existent) that a man wants to feel like he can protect his partner, and the women wants to feel protected.
I love to think that a women feels safe in my arms and that she needs me - it seems to be one of the most romantic parts in a give and take relationship. I am a modern guy (well i think at least =) ) and of course I do not want a stay at home wife, I want a women who will work, live her own life and follow her dreams, this is an independent strong women; however, i still want to feel that i am the man and she the women ie. let a man feel that his girl comes to him for security - sure it is vice versa - and more so i think a women nor a man wants to be with a partner that does not feel that they are not an accessory not a gift. | |
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| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/20/2005 2:05:58 PM | "Intimidation and Strong Women" is a question that set's a no win for men.
What strong women want is for men to say: men and women are equal.
Strong women is code for a liberated women that demands that a man treat her the same as another man in this cruel world.
I am woman and hear me roar.
She can earn as much or more, is more educated, has a more refined mind that can interpret the "gray" in the world unlike crude men that beat their chests.
This "strong" woman earns as much or more as any male (although it's unfair men are paid more for the same job).
This "strong" woman does NOT NEED a man.
She does quite well without a man besides she can always go to a sperm bank and withdraw what she needs.
Women are the essential species as only one man is needed to father 1000 or more children but it's strictly 1 child for 1 women and this is essential.
This question is packed with the implication that strength means rejecting a man's will to lead the couple and to control.
Women that discuss here are drawn to the idea that relationships are equal and that in the past men have treated women poorly in a subservant manor and it's time to get even.
Yes, these women here do have a chip on their shoulders and men of the past are evil and it's up to "strong" women to show men just how it's done.
THESE women NEED NOTHING from MEN.
Men are beasts and controling and it's now up to the "STRONG" woman to control things.
It is all about the peaking order and who is on top and it better not be a man.
The funny thing is that once these women have a subservient suck-up "male", they find him unattractive and then they hop from girly-man to girly-man until one day a REAL man slams it in real hard and says, "take that bi'atch" | |
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| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/20/2005 2:14:15 PM | | I'd take a strong female personality ... as a partner in a business venture, or a lawyer to represent me in court or what have you. Just not for a relationship. | |
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| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/20/2005 2:24:49 PM |
Yes, these women here do have a chip on their shoulders and men of the past are evil and it's up to "strong" women to show men just how it's done
That's rather interesting. Why didn't someone warn me and tell me that it was judgment day? 
I've never considered the men in my past as evil. I liked them when we dated, I like them now, and I'm still friends with all of them with 1 exception.
If anything it sounds like your the one with the chip.
Bitterness is a tough pill to swallow and if you can't swallow it, you'll eventually choke. | |
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 95 | |
| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/20/2005 2:27:37 PM | To men
Attitudes having been changing for 40 years ... either get on the band wagon or you'll be left behind. | |
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 97 | |
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kmhstx
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Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 98 | |
| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/20/2005 2:39:20 PM | | spauls49 I would have to say that I completely agree with you thats what I want...hopefully that is still a possibility. good luck | |
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| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/20/2005 2:42:58 PM | "I'd take a strong female personality ... as a partner in a business venture, or a lawyer to represent me in court or what have you. Just not for a relationship."
Are you kiddding!
I just Love dating a woman with something to prove as I suffer the pent-up brunt of all the injustice that men have dished out to women over the years.
A woman that attracts me is strong in her love of me as I am in her.
She is kind, unassuming and wants to spend time with me.
She is passionate and caring with strong attraction to my male-ness as I am attracted to her. She would make me want her then want would turn to need. Her glance would set me on fire with my desire for her.
We would complement each other and not like the same things. She might hate sports as much as I could care less about needlepoint. She might be afraid of things like snakes that I think are cool. She would like my hairy thigh as much a I loved her soft skin. Her judgements in all things would not be 100% complete and when we worked together somehow the mix of views made it better. Sometimes, we made my risky choice, and other times, her sensitive choice was best and we somehow knew when it was right. When we relied on our own judgements in isolation, somehow they never turn out as well. We would complement each other and the difference blended into a new combined "couple" (we were both stronger) that seemed so much better together. We loved being together and yet by ourselves, alone, we were so different. The combination is just too sweet.
That describes my woman.
We never argue about who leads. I know I do.
But sometimes, I feel she guides me so well it seems she is always really in control.
So, the answer really is that a coulpe in love really doesn't "know" who is in charge but the man always thinks he is it.
How is that for intimidation from a strong woman that loves me? | |
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| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/20/2005 2:44:02 PM | | Why is intimidation and Strong Women coupled in the heading? A truly strong person doesn't need to intimidate. Their strength of character speaks volumes and they don't need to 'muscle' anyone. My question would be what classifies as a 'strong woman'? Strength doesn't have to flex, flaunt, bully or impress, doesn't even have to speak. Someone intimidated by that would not interest me. | |
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