arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 126 | |
| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/21/2005 9:04:28 AM | breifne.
People with strong characters are not intimidating. They don't feel the need to assert themselves for their greater glory. It's the ones who prize strength for the sake of itself that are repulsive.
This goes back to the confidence vs. arrogance discussions that women have been having about men. women find confidence attractive and arrogance repulsive.
This is identical. There isn't a man who'd say, he wouldn't love to be with a classy woman, however, we find the assertive into your face women very unattractive. | |
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| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/21/2005 9:21:11 AM | | Arri, I think you are absolutely right. An assertive-in-your-face type of anyone is extremely unattractive. | |
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| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/21/2005 9:44:26 AM | | Arrogance or Confidence, so many seem 2 confuse the 2 but there really IS a difference,lol..here's 1 4 the guys, ladies ur opinions r welcomed as well, a guy notices a woman that he finds attractive, he finally gets up enough confidence 2 approach her, his opening line is,"I've been checkin u out 4 awhile now and was intimidated by u at 1st, but when a few of my buddies told me that u were a really cool person,I figured it would be safe 2 approach u", c'mon now...can a person "look" intimidating w/out saying a word or doing anything???????? can a persons "aura" play a part in this??? | |
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| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/21/2005 10:10:20 AM | can a person "look" intimidating w/out saying a word or doing anything????????
Sure. That's usually a REALLY big part of intimidation.
can a persons "aura" play a part in this???
Sure. ALWAYS plays a big part in everything. Aura, first impression, body language - call it what you will. | |
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| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/21/2005 10:20:33 AM | can a person "look" intimidating w/out saying a word or doing anything????????
OMG,, YES!!!
People who are experts at intimidation count on it. Makes it easier for them, takes no effort. | |
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| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/21/2005 10:21:45 AM | | There are many reason why guys may be intimidated by strong women.The first is ego.Men believe they should be the strong ones so when they see a woman stronger than them that is intimidating.But I guess it may be what you mean by strong whether physically or mentally or in another area. I find that most strong women are annoying as hell.They have these huge chips on the shoulders and think the world owes them everything.There are some strong women (Oprah, my mom, Martha Stewart, Gov Gen Jean )who I admire but for the most part strong women = trouble having said that I believe it is fine for women to be strong but can't they do this without the attitude? | |
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| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/21/2005 10:24:52 AM | I believe it is fine for women to be strong but can't they do this without the attitude?
People with attitude are NOT strong.
It goes for both men and women.
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| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/21/2005 10:29:03 AM | I find that most strong women are annoying as hell.They have these huge chips on the shoulders and think the world owes them everything.
We are so sorry to have annoyed the hell out of you, Silentocean. Having sincerely apologized for annoying you by our strength, may I ask a question? Have you read the other posts to this thread? We have already worked through the difference between arrogant, aggressive, ball breakers and strong, assertive women. Having huge chips on your shoulders and thinking the world owes you everything does not equate to strong - at all. | |
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| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/21/2005 10:29:15 AM |
This goes back to the confidence vs. arrogance discussions that women have been having about men.
True. The question seems to be: what's the difference? Aren't arrogant people also confident people? Is the difference merely one of perception? Isn't arrogance 'unwarranted confidence'? -- A confident person who asserts themself, but who is mistaken in their assertion? E.g.: He thinks he's good, but he isn't THAT good.
If a 'strong' man or woman is one who asserts their opinion often or confidently, aren't they bound to come off as arrogant on occasion? | |
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| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/21/2005 10:34:33 AM | Arrogant: feeling or showing proud self-importance and contempt or disregard for others.
Confident: certain of having the ability, judgment, and resources needed to succeed.
An arrogant person is, quite often, someone who actually has low self-esteem and has to bolster it by acting self-important, contemptuous of others.
A confident person doesn't have to - already has a healthy self-esteem and doesn't need the reinforcement of acting or treating another person this way. | |
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| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/21/2005 10:36:40 AM |
Arrogance or Confidence, so many seem 2 confuse the 2 but there really IS a difference,
Depending on who's looking, I'm sometimes mistaken as being arrogant, and often mistaken as being confident. LOL.
I think looks play a big part on intimidation. If you ever go to a club, see bouncers that are huge, of course you're going to be intimidated! And, the smaller ones are less intimidating. And if you see any of them crack a smile, even if only for a second, they lose their edge.
Aren't arrogant people also confident people?
I don't think they're anything close to being the same thing! First of all, as I said above, it's a matter of perception, but also a matter of LACK OF self confidence. I think people who act arrogant are usually trying to mask some sort of insecurity of theirs. It's the truly confident ones who don't feel they have to prove anything. | |
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| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/21/2005 10:38:45 AM |
Aren't arrogant people also confident
Confidence is something to be admired. I don't believe arrogance is looked upon as a quality.
Depending on the person's values, I think conifidence can grow into arrogance, if you are not grounded. | |
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| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/21/2005 10:47:21 AM |
A confident person doesn't have to - already has a healthy self-esteem and doesn't need the assurances of acting or treating another person this way.
Exactly...and confidence is an attractive trait in anyone..male or female. I am a take no sh*t kinda woman...But I am respectful and I expect the same in return. Strong does not mean bit**y...actually I am well liked at work and in my social circle. Strong women know when to be tough, when to be soft, they are feminine, and they know what they want....I think those are good qualities...but I do believe it takes the right kind of man to love one. | |
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| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/21/2005 12:11:28 PM | So...arrogant people SHOW their confidence and confident people don't? How can you tell a person is confident if there isn’t some display (assertion) of that confidence? And if it is displayed - don’t they become arrogant by virtue of the display?
Using Any1real’s webster-definition of arrogance, (“...feeling or showing proud self-importance...”), an arrogant person believes in him or herself, i.e., they MUST be confident. I still maintain that arrogant people are also confident people. The difference lies in the second part of Any1's definition. It isn’t the assertion of one’s opinion or character that separates the confident person from the arrogant person, it’s the “contempt or disregard for others” that does it. | |
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 140 | |
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| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/21/2005 1:01:55 PM | | Strength can be in the form of Purpose or Independence without the need to treat everyone around them as a Challenge. IMO | |
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| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/21/2005 1:07:59 PM | Exactly... strength can be used like any other personality indicator... It's what we do with what we got~~ | |
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| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/22/2005 12:09:36 AM |
Confident: certain of having the ability, judgment, and resources needed to succeed.
Arrogant: certain of ^uniquely^ having the ability, judgment and resources needed to succeed where others will surely fail.
How's that? | |
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| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/22/2005 6:39:26 AM | Jazzhomie, are you saying that being arrogant is a sterling quality unique to those who 'know' they have the ability to succeed where others will surely fail?
That is the downfall of arrogance - the supposition that the arrogant one is 'unique' with the abilities others do not have without even checking resources or talents of those 'others' who are supposedly without said abilities, judgments and resources. They just KNOW. We all love to work with those arrogant Know It All's. | |
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| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/22/2005 8:20:20 AM |
Jazzhomie, are you saying that being arrogant is a sterling quality unique to those who 'know' they have the ability to succeed where others will surely fail?
I think he was saying what you were saying. And I thought it was a good summation. Truly confident people are not threatened by the mere idea that there might be other competent, able people in the world. Arrogant ones find that notion frightening and reject it violently. | |
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 147 | |
| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/22/2005 9:02:40 AM | Confidence and arrogance .. its all about the perception by individual who is making the assessment. ie; Some women would find me arrogant, others might find me confident.
Same goes for intimidation and Strong Women.
The type of woman who considers herself strong, is either perceived as a bitch or sexy. However, when more men perceive you as an over compensating bitch, then you usually are. | |
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| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/22/2005 9:12:06 AM | I disagree, arri.
People's perceptions are often wrong. Just because the majority of people assume you're one way just by looking at you, doesn't make them right. It just means that you need to change your look.
I'm too often told, "I thought you were the biggest **** before I met you. I can't believe how wrong I was."
I hear that more often than not. Perceptions suck. | |
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 149 | |
| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/22/2005 9:47:02 AM |
"I thought you were the biggest **** before I met you. I can't believe how wrong I was."
That's a whole different aspect of dating. Obviously, he thought you were unapproachable, but now that he knows better, that has changed his mind.
I was also talking about a lot more than their appearance. We form our perception based on a number of things; from taste and style to exposure, body language and articulation. | |
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| Intimidation and Strong Women
Posted: 12/22/2005 10:09:30 AM | People often assume that I'm married........ and that I have kids.
I'm a very confident woman.... when it comes to work... LOL
So it is funny when you have a conversation with someone and their perception of you was totally off!!!
Shyness is also often perceived.... as someone that is stuck up.... | |
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