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| why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 4/24/2008 7:39:50 PM |  thank you girl..... i have had the same experience on here also... two days ago big tall ..............dumbie, was absolutely 'fallin 4 me' after talking , texting , and sending pics.....for a day, yes ...thats right ONE DAY..., one of the first pics he sent , was of his 'member'....lol ....wow, what class he has, and later to find out he lives with his "ex-wife"........................lmao
he states he cannot afford his beautiful home without his 'roommate', and i should understand...and then she starts texting me....ok im done.... and then he turns 'PSYCHO-----STALKER, and then calls me 8 times and text me 42 ....about 'what i really am' all kinds of mean trash came from his mouth ...lol
and every other guy but one, has talked about sex, positions, likes , dislikes ....etc.... and even 'did his thing' while talking to me on the phone.....lol
COME ON GUYS..... women dont want to 'talk ' about sex and see all 'the goods' before we even meet you, have some "tact", we would much more appreciate the respect of 'SURPRISE' if it even gets to that point....  | |
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| why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 4/24/2008 10:43:20 PM | I think rejection hurts women because for one we men are kinda of use to it and know it's part of the game, even a good looking man get's rejected and two, the only kind of women that DON'T have men for sex at their disposal at all times must look REALLY , REALLY awful...hairy, fat folds body with cheese smell awful. The whole fragile ego of the male is a lie. You see men are always open for rejection with girls EVERY step of the way. She can reject you when you approach her, ask for her number, ask for date, when your about to have sex. This makes men constantly vulnerable to rejection - hence, the idea that men's egos are very fragile. but, women generally refuse any exposure to rejection at all.
So who really has the fragile ego, here ?
A lot of the time women reject men because they are OVER PRICED. This is not their fault, but men's fault for not being picky. A girl will go without sex at times if she feels she deserves a guy who is an 8-10 but only has 6s and 7s as options (approaching her). Such girls can be 5s but know that 7-8 guys want them and thus uses her overpricing to go for guys that have the highest market value. That's the problem, women are over priced and over valued this is why a woman who may be mediocre still won't go with an equally mediocre guy approaching. A girl who is a 5 KNOWS she can land a 7-8 guy without too much hassle. | |
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| why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 4/25/2008 5:39:59 AM | [Are men that egotisticle that they can't take rejection? ]
Yes, some men can't handle rejection. But I don't think what you (even though I realize you are probably no longer reading this thread I will still address this to you)are describing are men seeking to date, simply the predatory guy that goes online seeking physical gratification. Although some men can't handle rejection and will personally attack you in order to escalate retribution (as they see rejection as an attack to their personality) to show they are better than you and "win."
[Do men think BBW's are easy??]
Yes, some men do think BBW's are easy ,(although I feel "BBW" is bandied about way too much. Whatever happened to just being a fat chick? Personally I feel more negative connotations are inherent in BBW than fat chick, at least with the term fat chick I think of someone fun, centered, and happy whereas BBW tends to denote denial and vanity..to me). That is why there are specific terms regarding picking up or describing types of women that are outside the norm; such as "hogging it," or "pig wrestling," or "MILF," (It does not stand for "Mom I'd Like to treat with respect and admiration as a respected member of society, fall in love, write poetry, buy flowers for, and begin a life long relationship..." Almost every time a woman has bought me a drink, asked me out (usually by proxy of a thin friend), or generally offered free sex, it has been a "BBW." Over time and success in obtaining more gratification with less work with "BBW's," it tends to lend credence to the belief.
Yes, some men will regale you with sparkling poetry and romantic visions your beauty creates in their eyes and heart...simply, or ultimately, for sex (the ultimate measure for validation). Then when there is no sex, they have to rescind what they said in a negative way in order to make their payment a net zero.
[Read my profile, do i state anywhere that I like to talk about sex when I first meet someone?]
The men approaching you simply for sex or their own validation do not care what you state, say, write, think, feel, believe, or know, they are thinking solely of the fulfillment of their selfish desires. When will all women everywhere realize this? It is never about you, it's about them.
[I just dont' understand alot of men these days. ]
Was there ever a point in history where you understood a lot of men?
[how does anyone get to know anyone anymore?]
By having sex...hehe...just kidding. By communicating and experiencing life, small or large, together. That's just a guess though.
[Heck I like sex, dont' get me wrong. But I really enjoy it more, when it's in the boundaries of a steady relationship. Everyone is human and needs to be close to someone, I just dont' come online looking for sex. Why does this concept sseem so hard to accept?]
Most normal adults do enjoy sex more when there are more things involved than simply one sided gratification issues. Every human is human, you are correct there Captain Obvious. Not everyone needs to be close to someone though, we are called misanthropes.
Again, it doesn't matter to some men why you come online, only that you are here and that means a potential for coercing you into fulfilling their own personal gratification. The concept is not hard to accept...to someone that cares, but again I point out that the men you are describing don't care. They come here, say sweet things or what you want to hear, don't get what they want, rescind their sweet things, then move on to the next potential.
Is that what bothers so many women? That so many men wish to remove the emotional component of copulation and simply approach the matter in ways, that tend to work,leading to solely physical gratification on, potentially, both sides? Or is it ultimately being denied the right to be treated as an equal, peer, or simply a human being in favor of being pursued as, what Tom Lykis refers to, a "hole, a walking receptacle of male sperm?" | |
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| why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 4/26/2008 5:24:56 AM | First of all, it has nothing to do with being a "BBW," many men are like this no matter who they are emailing.
I have gotten so tired of arguing with some of them (sorry, but YES, you DO live too far away, or sorry, but YES, 15 years older than me IS too old) that I have found it easier to just not reply anymore.
You try to do the right thing, which I think is to at least say "no thanks," but then you end up having to defend your preferences to some moron who thinks he's all that, and that he's exempt from my preferences, and have him go all combative on you.
And of course, these are the guys with "no drama" in their profiles.
Anyway, it's just easier NOT to say "no thanks" than it is to be polite. | |
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| why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 4/26/2008 5:40:56 AM | FantasyArtist, I was actually wondering if men ever got these kinds of emails in reply to a "no thanks." The fact is, I don't think very many men actually ever do reply to someone they aren't interested in in the first place, but of the ones that do, do you get abusive emails or just emails from women who want to argue with you that your preferences are "wrong?"
For instance, in my profile it clearly states the age group that I'm interested in. The oldest age in that group is 47. (And that's pushing my "comfort level," but I figured I'd stretch it.) So I've got 55 year olds whose favorite line is "age is just a number," and that since they still think they look like they are 40, my preferences are "wrong." (and my age preferences have nothing to do with looks, something else they can't seem to grasp.)
Another example...I want to meet someone fairly close to where I live. I work crazy hours and have kids...so I want someone who is closer by, so that we can meet for dinner without planning way in advance, whenever we want to. So a guy arguing with me that 100 miles away isn't too far is just annoying, when I've made my preferences clear. If it's too far for ME, then it's too far!
And then sometimes I am just plain not interested for various other reasons. I don't feel that anyone should have to "defend" themselves for not being interested...so as I said earlier, it's much easier to just not reply at all. | |
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| At Least Your Polite
Posted: 5/12/2008 7:13:11 AM | | At least your polite. I wish all people contacted who aren't interested would say so. So many just read and delete, or read and never respond. Frankly, if you have your profile up on a dating site your expecting to be contacted. At least you can do is respond with a yes or no. Ignoring someone is déclassé. | |
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| why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 5/12/2008 7:26:59 AM | Ok the funniest is when they put you on their favorites list and you keep deleting them off because they never contact you. They add you 6-7 times, so you finally send them a note, hey I deleted you off my favorites list because I'm not interested...you never emailed me; yet you keep putting me on your list...please stop doing this...thanks.
You get back a reply that says....I Never put you on my list you're a fat ugly cow!...  OOPs well hey I did a wonderful testimonal for you about this, so hmm you might want to read it at the bottom of your profile It took him a few days to remove it..I see he finally figured out how to delete my testimonial to him
Yeah some people on here should teach a class in Rejection 101.. should I nominate this guy as a teacher ?   | |
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| why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 5/12/2008 7:35:40 AM |
You try to do the right thing, which I think is to at least say "no thanks," but then you end up having to defend your preferences to some moron who thinks he's all that, and that he's exempt from my preferences, and have him go all combative on you.
All the men that complain about "no response" need to read and re-read the posts form women about the rude and angry e-mails they get when they do say "Thanks, but no thanks". Only a small percentage of men act this way, but it's enough that women have learned that ne response is better than getting angry, combative e-mails. | |
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| why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 8/18/2008 6:15:20 AM | This is obviously a very popular topic! I didn't read ALL of the replies, but I will add this...
I have never once received a polite "no thanks" e-mail. If I get rejected it's typically "read deleted" type of deal. Now if someone isn't interested, that's fine, I can live with it, but what I find is amusing is when a woman's profile reads something like this:
"I'm a fun loving down to earth girl, who is looking for a guy with a good head on his shoulders, someone who is driven, and is easy going, loves to have fun, but knows when to be serious."
So they seem like a bright, intelligent and open minded person and I decide to shoot them an e-mail. I never send e-mails based on someone's looks alone, I ALWAYS read their profile, and make sure whatever I am sending them pertains to THEIR life, often asking questions about them leading from info they themselves provided.
Now I do not consider myself god's gift to women, nor do I think of myself as perfect, but I do believe I embody several positive character traits. It is nothing short of hypocritical, when you exemplify the same qualities as someone is supposedly interested in only to be met with "read deleted." In my opinion this could really only mean that they didn't find me attractive enough, which I guess at the end of the day means they aren't really "down to earth" or "looking for a guy that is driven." (I mean I'm 23 and I'm a regional manager of a multi-million dollar company, how much more driven to do you want me to be?) The point I am trying to make is that it is annoying that girls hold guys to such a high standard. There have definitely been times when I thought a girl was cute, but I know I probably wouldn't bother striking up conversation based on looks alone had I encountered her in person, though here I get to read a bit about her first it strikes an interest, only to get rejected.
I think of myself as a fairly attractive person (again I don't think of myself as god's gift, I know I'm not a 10) and as I mentioned before I take the time to write thoughtful and curious e-mails, and I am in no way lewd.
/rant | |
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| why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 8/18/2008 7:14:24 AM | So how does a guy as young as you "beeyd" happen to own that much wisdom? And for a guy with your looks too. I didn't think any of you guys really existed.
I've sent some emails out too... some funny ones, thoughtful ones, curious ones... and nothing. Not every time mind you. But enough.
I don't understand that. I'm just chatting for heaven's sake. Something might have thrown you off in my profile (maybe it was the subliminal message "psycho broad aboard" I don't know... apparently that's the latest blanket statement I'm hearing about women these days). No matter. It's just rude that's all.
I've taken the time to reach out to another human being. You've done it yourself. You know it's not easy. Now have a little respect and at least say "thanks for writing... good luck with your search" so when I come across you at some event somewhere the first thing I'm not thinking about you is that you can be rude.
What'cha think. Am I wrong? | |
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| why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 8/18/2008 7:32:19 AM | I also have a thread on this. I don't get it. They want a response and it will not always be good. We want truthfulness and get up set when what we hear is not what we want to hear. I put age preference and a much older man replied. I refered him back to mu profile and (another site) and he got really nasty with me because I would find no man better than him. I will be picky as I want to do this for the last time and explained this kindly. No matter what I said or how I said it he just got more pissy with each email to me. I ask him to stop .. mo more and more emails.... Then I said Good Luck and apparently I had made the right choice because i don't need this kind of drama and harrassement... ask again, why are you being to rude. Bla, bla bla and moe bla and name calling again. Why? This goes either way man or woman I am sure.
We do want a response and should be old enough to accept honesty as the best policy. If one does not feel it is not anything to build on or not our ideal preference we should gracious and move on. So, many are hurt, embarrassed, desperate or for what ever.... and just get nasty.
We should be happy for honesty. Enjoy any conversation or time spent, maybe make a friend and accept things for what they are.
Some guy says I am great... well I don't like his idea of great. He/she thinks they are the bomb but our idea of looks is just not the same.
Response not what you prefered to hear or just a non-response... not interested ... so sorry. Move... Nasty people need to know that their reaction proved that when we passed on them it was the best thing we could have done...... Said no thanks! | |
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| why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 8/18/2008 9:36:21 AM | OP:  It is not a rocket science. Say "thanks, but we're on a different page" without divulging why, and immediately BLOCK THEM.
And by the way, do yourself a favor and disable IM.
If someone wants to get to know you (vs. have cybersex with you), they will write personalized, thoughtful note. You respond, they respond again and so on. And after that you decide if you want to exchange personal messenger info, or maybe even meet for a chat in person..
To that crew who thinks it's rude not to respond, classy people are a tiny minority here and rejection, no matter how short, sweet and polite, will draw out nasty comment back.
OP: Cut and paste this: "thanks for your interest, I don't think we are compatible. best of luck in your search" and immediately block them. | |
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| why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 8/18/2008 9:48:14 AM | | It's simple, as said before it's their ego that gets bent and their insecurity which lets them have such fragile egos. If they get mouthly just hit that block button, having said that some guys that have taken my rejection with such good grace that we have still continued to chat and have become friends so there are some guys out there that are man enough, but they are the rare diamonds. | |
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| why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 8/18/2008 9:50:42 AM | I remember an incident from 20 years ago. I was living in London and on my way home carrying shopping bags. This guy walks alongside me chatting away, I was friendly and chatted back. All the way he was telling me how gorgeous I was, how fit blah blah blah
When I got to the end of my road I said "nice chatting to you, this is where I get off" After my refusal at offering him a "cuppa"  he proceeded to call me a ** tease and said "you think you're so fine don't you". I replied, "well you have been telling me so for the past 10 minutes"
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| why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 8/18/2008 9:52:10 AM | That's ridiculous!!!! With ALL these single women out here, guys have to stoop that low as to insult and put people down......that makes no sense. That's okay and take care would be nice to say to women that are not interested....then move on to the next profile....it's not THAT difficult. I'm glad I'm not that way. You'll be fine, you'll look back on this a laugh at the losers.
Peace. | |
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| why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 8/18/2008 10:08:29 AM | ego ego ego... along with operating in some alternate reality wherein they perceive that since they like you, dammit there is NO reason why you should not want them back!!
ugh.
I admit I have been attracted to men who were not feeling me and while I felt a lil bummed out, I moved on... I realize wtf nobody owes anybody anything on here..
If I am not attracted to someone , I do show courtesy and respect and reply back to him..
Most of the time I am really taken aback with their polite response back to me:
"thankyou for being honest"..(That's a real man and a gentleman)
Respect goes far..and some good friendships have resulted from that..
I do find it comical though when men tell you what a Goddess they think you are, but then when you don't reciprocate their interest, suddenly you are a f*ckin skank..LOL
*flush*
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Katir
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Joined: 8/2/2008
Msg: 221 | |
| why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 8/18/2008 12:46:49 PM | I don't get angry at all, but rejection can suck sometimes... it makes you almost want to get into a numbers game mode... how freakin impersonal. You didn't express that you put yourself in a position to be rejected like that yourself... is that true?
If it is, how can you vent, lol. | |
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| why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 8/18/2008 2:18:03 PM | Its much more usual for men to do the chasing so many more men than women will get rejected.
Take it from me women take rejection much harder than men.
Men expect it being the hunter.
I havent rejected many women straight away but one I did got very offensive and I had to block her ! | |
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| why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 8/18/2008 2:29:58 PM | Katir, well of course rejection sucks honey! Duh!
It hurts, it sucks, it makes you want to downright hiss at the source of your frustration ... but you don't because how you behave when you're upset is a statement to YOUR true social advancement level and class
Always be polite, always have manners, politely decline and BLOCK the lowlifes
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| why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 8/18/2008 2:33:54 PM |
beachybunnie (Spoken For):
For instance, in my profile it clearly states the age group that I'm interested in. The oldest age in that group is 47. (And that's pushing my "comfort level," but I figured I'd stretch it.) So I've got 55 year olds whose favorite line is "age is just a number," and that since they still think they look like they are 40, my preferences are "wrong." (and my age preferences have nothing to do with looks, something else they can't seem to grasp.)
Hmm, I guess its good that your "special someone" was one of those who brashly ignored those preferences, huh? Since at 48, he's clearly outside of your "comfort level"??  | |
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