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| mani
Posted: 12/20/2005 6:11:40 AM | You want me to what??? Hit on you? Shouldn't you be hitting on me?! Anyway, we'll see how your profile holds up first, then we'll talk.
Okay, so you're here to what?! Explain this... cheat on your wife? But its not cheating, cause she knows. Riiiiiiiiiiight!
Interest: Stick with anything a chick would want you to be interested in. And the other rule of thumb is, if a blue line doesn't appear under it, it probably doesn't qualify as an interest.
(Comments: That's pretty straightfoward)
No Shit, Shirlock!
Remove thinking, talking words that are used in conversation. You are writing here! (Most people don't know that.) For examle, "Lets see...", "So I guess....", etc etc...
Remove all of your update, in brackets comments. They just don't help you say what you're trying to say. In a profile, stick to the KISS principle: Keep It Simple, Stupid!
Anyway, you're different. I'm sure there's a swingers bar in Ottawa somewhere, you two sound like the type that would be into that... Check it out. | |
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| DKD15
Posted: 12/20/2005 7:10:55 AM | | i want in... go ahead let me know | |
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| mani
Posted: 12/20/2005 7:23:25 AM | I would definitely hit on you kiki but I'm already torn between Ottawa and Montreal. Adding Guelph to my story would literally drain the life out of me 
Thanks for your review. I have removed the comment structure and those talking words. I also adjusted some of my interests.
To comment on the cheating allusion, your are rigth it's not cheating, just a different way to live life. We happen to think it's the best one, specially for us! This could be a new thread...
As for swinging, don't really mind but don't fancy it enough to get on the bar scene. Thanks again, you're cool  | |
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| hi
Posted: 12/20/2005 8:11:36 AM | | hi my names adam can u review me because i,m nt havibg much succes here thanxs | |
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Enryk
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Joined: 12/15/2005
Msg: 110 | |
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| drkeyed1
Posted: 12/20/2005 3:43:52 PM | | thanks kikilynn...I'll take another peek at my ad and give it another go...I'll give you a shout when I'm ready for another round! | |
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| drkeyed1
Posted: 12/20/2005 5:33:38 PM | | I'm interested what ya think, go for it. | |
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| red83
Posted: 12/20/2005 8:33:54 PM | Your caption needs spice. Its extra firm tofu.
Your one picture is okay. Its a wee bit fuzzy, but that's okay. Try to post some fun pics.
Don't have aimless sentences (and then put what you really want to say in brackets.)
Just say what you want to say in the sentences. Clear and simple.
Consider throwing in what you're looking for...
As for your first date... who's the one being unoriginal here?
Its a good start. Keep up the good work, and good luck with your RN program. | |
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| ma-che-fai-tu
Posted: 12/20/2005 8:47:14 PM | Wat-da-fuk-dos-it-meen?
Cheque is not spelled checque... check. And I believe the saying is, "Don't let your mouth write a cheque your ass can't cash." Don't go around trying to make up "new" old sayings. It makes you sound dumb.
Scrap the useless images.
Make sure your interests are blue. If they're not blue, they probably aren't an interest.
Capitalize 'I', spaces after punctuation, spelling, use apostrophes when necessary (ie. don't), and don't replace periods with commas (ie. ...).
Okay, so, you're a bad guy with attitude, who wants the perfect woman, but she shouldn't expect much of you, cause you can't write, you have attitude, you usually carry yourself around looking like a mofia member and you think you're all that and where it's at!
Well, don't let me bother you... cause you're obviously way too good for me. | |
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| javiergf
Posted: 12/20/2005 8:53:58 PM | Your headline is also extra firm tofu. Come on people, you can do better!
Pictures are a good start. The head shot is good and the full body. Try to get more pictures where there's some action and we can see your face.
Your profile is too conversation-like. Remember you are writing here, not speaking.
What the heck is DFW?
Don't put your messenger ID there. Its tacky. It makes you look desperate. If I want it, I'll ask for it.
Just be careful with your spelling, try to spice it up a bit, and consider throwing in a paragraph about what kind of woman you are looking for. | |
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| dasmann
Posted: 12/20/2005 9:02:26 PM | As soon as I read your request, "Stab me a slab me!" I knew it was going to be bad...
But suddenly, it was almost refreshing.
Some one who knows how to spell, use grammar and write (okay, I won't push it...)
Its not bad!
The only thing I can say that's going to help you win the ladies, is to get walking. I know you've started working out, and I admire that, but remember, cardio burns calories. I think you'll be a real cutie when you get outta that bubble.
Good luck. | |
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| dasmann
Posted: 12/20/2005 9:15:01 PM | | Thanks! I'm working it off. I had no idea I was that over weight until I got some pictures taken. | |
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| betchacanteatjustone
Posted: 12/20/2005 9:15:40 PM | Okay, so you're like a black GQ man. That's cool. Your pictures are good, but... VERY bad move making your main photo a picture of your rock hard body with a woman all over it when you're trying to pick up. This may be the internet, but its still like walking up to a girl at the bar, sitting beside her, buying her a drink and using some smooth line on her, all with your girlfriend on your arm. Do you see where I'm going with this?
I'll do this ONCE
I'm into expressive women, nothing too weird(COMMA) ie. tarot,(SPACE)s&m,(SPACE)toe fetishes(SPACE)(Yukk!) I'm into being a total gentleman...there is nothing like treating a woman like a precious jewel and watching her sparkle in front of your eyes! I like,(REMOVE COMMA) love stories(SPACE, PERIOD, REMOVE THE STUFF I PUT IN ITALICS ->)(hopeless romantic I am) I would love to be the man to bring up a young ladies self-esteem, and self respect(PERIOD, REMOVE THE STUFF I PUT IN ITALICS ->),...I think it would lift my own to be able to do such a thing! That's my sister piggy in the pic... (REMOVE PERIODS, ADD COMMA)she has a twin sister..(REMOVE ONE PERIOD)
Do put a paragraph about yourself at the begining of your About me. That's more what your reader is interested in. | |
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| new dude at this
Posted: 12/20/2005 10:47:50 PM | You make this so easy.
F*ck off!
You either want a review, or you don't.
It may be b*tchy, it may not.
You take your chances posting here.
I'll refer you to Message 1, page 1 - then you can decide if you want a review or not. | |
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| badad0ty
Posted: 12/20/2005 10:59:23 PM | Adam,
You may not be having success for any or all of the following reasons:
1) Headline. Should read like this: Naughty or Nice, you chose
2) You don't have a job.
3) You can't spell socializing, you, I'm, because or laugh.
4) You do not know when to use capitals, or proper grammar.
5) You have lol's in your text.
6) You won't tell me about yourself. (We want to know something, now!)
7) Your writing style is shitty.
8) You're probably lying about being athletic. Its not like you've proved otherwise in your photos.
You may just want to try doing this the old fashioned way and go get some chick drunk in a bar. But, that probably won't work for you either. | |
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| tmstephen
Posted: 12/20/2005 11:15:14 PM | You're cute.
However, you need a decent headshot as your main picture. The picture of you and your friend at a training class (presumably veinipuncture)... delete it. He's better looking that you are. Makes you look bad.
Now, being an ex-teacher, I would think that you should know that there is an apostrophe in I'm, and quiet is not spelled quite! Double check all of your spelling, always! Remember, you have to make a good impression, and all you have here to do that are pictures and your ability to write.
So far your about me is cute. I think you need to delete the last sentence (if you wanna know more...) and add a paragraph about what you are looking for in a lady. You never need to tell people to e-mail them or tell them that they're allowed to e-mail you. You're here, and if they like you, it is implied that they can drop you a line.
Stephen, you must have gotten carried away when writing your first date, because there are a bunch of spelling mistakes. You need to fix them.
Okay, so you have some work to do, but I think that you're probably a good catch, and that's the most important thing. | |
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| bricthegreat
Posted: 12/20/2005 11:28:39 PM | Headline: Looking for a fun down to earth girl.
LAME-O! Who isn't looking for a fun down to earth girl these days? Even girls are looking for a fun, down to earth girl! Even I'm looking for a fun, down to earth girl... see where this is going?
Pumpkin, you are not average, you need to change that to "A Few Extra Pounds" and then go for a walk.
Your fouth picture, a headshot with the blue background, looks like it was taken in jail. Scrap it, its doing more harm than good.
Your About me is okay. Its a bit punchy, which is good. I don't know what you're looking for or what you're doing here... And you don't have a first date. Maybe you don't want to go on a date? I dunno! | |
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| jestanuff
Posted: 12/20/2005 11:38:24 PM | First and foremost, I welcome you to the fugly list.
So, I searched for dromomaniac on dictionary.com, and here's what it came up with:
No entry found for dromomaniac.
I would say that if you are one, that could be a problem, and if that's all you're looking for, you're severely restricting your possibilities.
You're a hobo and you do drugs (prefer not to say = yes). Most women these days are fairly sophisticated and like a man with a job who doesn't do drugs. I can see why this isn't working out for you...
Your About me reads like this:
i've been travelin (hitchin,yaeh people still do that ) 4 a decade i play the banjo and have lots of fun .....ido what i want ......i consider my self a high class hobo (only the best baby ) i've never had a real job and don't care to get one ........some people look down on me but ya know what I DON'T care cause i'm at least livin my life ..............def. dromomaniac (from uncle johns bathroom reader) someone who compulsily travels .........if you don't like that well i don't care
Okay, so now we know that you don't have a job and you don't care that you don't have a job. You're a f*cking write off! Delete your profile and go find yourself a squatter somewhere. She's not going to be on the internet, but you may find her on your travels. I'm sure she'd be happy to have a great catch like yourself! | |
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| jestanuff
Posted: 12/20/2005 11:41:08 PM | ^^^
I swear people are making up fake profiles just to see the reaction they'll get! | |
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| countrygal45
Posted: 12/20/2005 11:48:41 PM | Country gal, welcome to the fugly list!
And that's all I have to say to you.
Your profile is good otherwise.
I think your market may be slim here, because I think you're up with the times more than most of your generation, but that's totally cool! Hey, good luck. If you meet people here, great! If not, join some social activities for retired people in your area!
You sound like a happy, well established, intelligent woman who doesn't carry a lot of baggage!
Wicked job!
Just put up a picture! (And please, not a nude... *wink*wink*) | |
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