| Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/18/2005 1:33:57 PM | With a blade like that who would have the nerve Jasmine?
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| Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/18/2005 11:28:09 PM |
there is nothing I can do with my friends that is as enjoyable as hanging with my girl .
The beauty part there is it seems like it's YOUR choice. YOU would rather spend time with her than your friends. I imagine your friends feel slighted now, but the point is...
No one told you that you can't go hang with your friends. No one implied or flat out said she doesn't trust that you'll be faithful if you go party with those friends.
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| Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 12:13:30 AM | I like I say" I will call someone to let them know where I'm at". I want them to trust me. And I will come home!If you can't call someone who cares about you,why be with them? You want to be in a relationship, but can't comment? We all have our prombles, but showing a person respect.Now thats bad. I do what I want to do, ...why are you in a relationship? Ok, I'm going to leave home with the guys,come home the next day? You women would have a field day.Where have you been? Well baby,I got drunk, spelt over at my friends house. RIGHT! Who are you bull shitting? Yes a woman can go out with her friends,but show some respect to that man.Come home. The ladies say this junk,I do what I want.But get in a relationship.Your words will change. | |
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| Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 12:23:11 AM | I'm sorry, but if my bf tells me he got drunk with his friends and wisely slept at a buddies rather than take a cab home and he'd never done anything ever to make me wonder if he cheats or lies, then I really wouldn't bat an eye.
I'd expect the same from him. | |
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| Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 1:26:05 AM | The Truth:
I agree exactly like you do (minus one thing) ie; when you said "I wouldn't have a problem with them going out for dinner and a movie or somethhing of this kind or even if she went out dancing and drinking with several ladies who are in relationships (so long as there isn't sleeping over involved afterward)."
When you are in a committed relationship, that kind of crap has to stop, period. They should want to have fun with you and if they need these other people in their lives then she should bring them to your house and you should be a part of "whatever". She shouldn't have to say anything that you can't hear.
If a woman needs that kind of freedom, then she doesn't need to be with me for sure. Tracy (buccaneer38) | |
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| Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 1:28:49 AM | I can't believe that ,for nothing in the world. No one wants to lay in a house with a relationship going on,and the other doesn't come home till the next day. | |
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| Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 5:05:39 AM | I saw a good point brought up.
How many of you ladies who are answering "Yes it is ok to sleep over" would throw an outright shit fit if your man went out for a night of drinking at singles bars with their single guy friends (who you know are looking to meet people/hookup) then slept over at someone’s house(sure, you TRUST them enough to belive it is the friends home they say but who knows)??????? I think quite a few of you. I'm not saying anything more about how I feel on the rest of the situation but come on people.....There is just no reason what so ever to have to sleep at anyone’s house but your own or your S/O after a night of drinking at local bars.
This to me is not a trust issue but simply a red flag of clandestine behavior. | |
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| Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 6:51:04 AM | Truth,
Let me give you an example from my own life. When I go out with my friends, no one wants to be the designated driver. So I will drive to a friend’s place, park my car and split a cab with him. At the end of the night, we split another cab back to his place and I’ll crash there to sleep it off. In the morning I can simply walk out to my car and leave. That eliminates either driving drunk or spending a lot more money on cabs to get to and from my place (my friend lives a lot closer to the best hangouts). That seems pretty freakin innocent, does it not?
BTW, dude, you said you have only been seing this woman for a short time ... just some advice, tread lightly. | |
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| Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 7:04:07 AM | I totally agree. You would be surprised by how many people use alcohol as an excuse for cheating. Doesn't matter how smashed or stoned you were...the cheating is in your head. The person is obviously looking to get out of the relationship and/or is unhappy. No justifying it.
As for the Girls Night Out....All girls need it no matter what. Guys need guys nights out too. To some degree I would be scared to think of what happens when guys get together. lol....
It's all about your relationship and how the communication is in your relationship. You should both be able to trust each other - and have nights out. No and, ifs, or buts!
No trust = unhealthy relationship | |
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| Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 7:10:59 AM | There is nothing wrong with sleeping over at someone's house after going out for the night. Whether it's a bar, movie, etc....
It's better safe than sorry especially if there is drinking involved.
I definately think that it's trust issues within the relationship and that is something that must be dealt with. In general this shouldn't be an issue. I would sure hate to be in a relationship where my boyfriend is keeping tabs on what I do, especially if I'm being 100% faithful and just enjoying time with the girls. | |
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| Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 7:14:56 AM | | As a 23 year old female, I do think girls night out is a must. Temptation is always there, but it's the same weather you're at a bar, or at a grocery store. If you're a cheater, and you're gonna act on anything, you'll do it regardless of where you're at. Sleeping over at a girlfriends house, I don't see anything wrong with that either. If I went out with the girls, got all sorts of drunk, I don't think my boyfriend would be up for picking me up at bar close (when chances are, he's with his friends) or with me driving home. And it's also important to have that bonding time with the girls. Go over to ones house, everyone gets dressed, go to dinner, go get drinks, dance, come home, eat, crash, wake up, eat breakfast and talk about the night before. That's what girls do. And if you're secure in your relationship, don't worry about what might happen. Everyone needs time away from their significant other. | |
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| Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 7:16:33 AM |
YOU would rather spend time with her than your friends. I imagine your friends feel slighted now, but the point is...
No they dont , my friends know I have certain rules I go by . like if a married friend or a friend whoes girl lives with him , is not home I dont enter the house I just say tell him to call me when he gets home .
WHY? because it is not cool in my book to be around one of my friends girlfriends/wives without them present . Not because I would try something with them but out of respect to my friend and to remove all doubt and avoid drama . You see doubt is caused by action and trust is caused by action , if you act trustworthy you will get my trust if you act in a matter that makes others believe you are still single then I feel maybe you should stay single .
No one told you that you can't go hang with your friends. No one implied or flat out said she doesn't trust that you'll be faithful if you go party with those friends.
And no one would HAVE to tell me , I know how to show respect to a partner . why get into a relationship if you want to act like your single ? When you are a couple you do couple things , go to places you know 90% of the people there are couples (every town has a few places like that). you both hang out with other couples , and when in relationship I invite my single friends to the house (I have nothing to hide) . | |
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| Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 7:31:07 AM | | you are 22...that's what you are supposed to do you should be out and about dating...not involved in a serious relationship. | |
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| Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 8:53:34 AM | This to me is not a trust issue but simply a red flag of clandestine behavior.
It floors me that you can actually utter that sentence and not notice the blaring lack of trust.
I know how to show respect to a partner .
The thing is that it's not disrespectful to want to go out with your friends. If you'd rather not go out with your friends while part of a couple, that's your call. | |
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| Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 9:19:37 AM | .
Ahem . . . the general topic, as I understood it when I joined in, had to do with frequenting the nightlife at bars and nightclubs. My reply was NOT meant to encompass anything else done with friends whatsoever, except that. It’s the bar life I call frivolous, certainly not having friends.
What if she just enjoys dancing with her friends?..Where would she do that? Or she likes to listen to live music?. ..It is up to you to decide what's important and what's frivoulous?
What if some of her friends are still single and ask her to join them, where they go? What's she supposed to say.."Can not really do that with you anymore..Not allowed..met someone and he is more important Though she'd know the man some short amount of time and them ten years?..You trust someone or you don't..Somoen who wants to cheat can do that anytime, anywhere...I and get to decide how to spend my free time. Cal me on my cell...Pop in..He knows where I am and he knows if he does in pops in..he's not going to find anything amiss..if he knows me at all. Like that simply red song.."if you don't know me by now"..
The thread was started by someone saying this is about someone they have not even been seeing long.
Whatever works for all involved..but it wouldn't be me. JMo J
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| Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 9:50:31 AM |
What if she just enjoys dancing with her friends?..Where would she do that? Or she likes to listen to live music?. ..It is up to you to decide what's important and what's frivoulous?
What if some of her friends are still single and ask her to join them, where they go? What's she supposed to say.."Can not really do that with you anymore..Not allowed..met someone and he is more important Though she'd know the man some short amount of time and them ten years?
So if she wants to act like she is single she should have never agreed to be with him its that simple .
he should not HAVE to tell her what to do , I would have a talk with her and if she gives me a line about its only friends and fun and such I say nothing , I just simply end it and let her live her life as she wants , I cant control any woman nor will I try , in a case like that I wont make her choose because in my mind she has made her choice . (PS: who do you think she's dancing with ? thats right other guys).
.You trust someone or you don't..Somoen who wants to cheat can do that anytime, anywhere...I and get to decide how to spend my free time. Cal me on my cell...Pop in..He knows where I am and he knows if he does in pops in..he's not going to find anything amiss..if he knows me at all. Like that simply red song.."if you don't know me by now"..
Yes you can cheat on someone anytime , but in a relationship trust is defined by actions , if you act trust worthy you are more likely to be trusted , There is a law here in texas called atractive nusance , in which you are fined for leaving your key in the car or leaving the gate to your pool unlocked , it often leads to a reduced charge if you commit a crime of opportunity because the law recognizes that some people will only commite crimes if the opportunity shows its self (meaning the guy who climbs in through an open window but would never pick a lock or break a window to get in )
Well the same goes for cheating , some people will only cheat if the temptation is there , so why go into the devils playground (bars and niteclubs)and risk the temptation ?
I want a long term relationship partly because I am burnt out on the bar scene , if I still wanted to go to clubs and such I would not be looking for a relationship because it would not be fair to the said partner .
So if a girl i was with felt the need to go out and shake her tushy , I would feel she has not gotten the single life out of her system , and being that I dont believe in changing people I'd move on even knowing it would hurt me to do so(even more than it would hurt her). | |
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| Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 10:21:36 AM | Hi Mortalez..
FYI.. If I am in a committed relationship, I do not dance with other men. Yep, I do go out to dance, talk, laugh and catch up with my GFs..Interesting you'd equate someone doing this with a crime..heeh not exactly the same.
As I have said before, we all have the right to search for what we thing will work for us, as individuals. I do not see being with my friends and having fun as "acting single" I plan to have friends my whole life..I think everyone should.
We are just going to have to agree to disagree. You have a right to date someone who wouldn't go to a club..and I have a right to date someone who can trust me JMO j | |
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| Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 10:26:29 AM | | I believe that people really should be responsible enough to regulate thier drinking or choose a DD, so they dont have to spend the night places. I would question whether I wanted to be with someone who cannot regulate that. Again, I dont know if spending the night somewhere is right or wrong, but I have seen an awful lot of people who do that regularly, begin cheating at some point. So, again, I guess I just wouldnt be with someone who does that kind of thing alot. But, balance being what it is, sometimes things happen that are out of our control and I do agree that safety on the roads is the primary concern. | |
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| Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 10:27:16 AM | | I am a mortalez fan at this point...... | |
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| Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 12:35:05 PM | | The bottom line of this entire thread comes down to trust and self confidence. Why even be involved with someone if you can’t trust them to control themselves? | |
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| Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 1:05:29 PM | Hmmm, after reading this thread, I wonder, if perhaps I don't "act" single enough when I go out.
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Forget that glass of wine, bring me the bottle. and a few shooters. party:
Dance on the dance floor with my friends?
Hell no, I'm going to jump on the bar...
 sorry, stressful day, I needed that. | |
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| Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 1:08:16 PM | If a girl is going out, it's obviously to cheat on you.
you should tell her to stop, make a big smothering attempt at being controlling, and send her my way when she leaves you.
p.s. why the hell are you worried what she does on girls night out?
you should be preoccupied with poker night with your boys. | |
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| Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 1:17:04 PM |
p.s. why the hell are you worried what she does on girls night out?
you should be preoccupied with poker night with your boys.
hhhmmmm choice ..... spending an evening with my girl , or spending a nite playing card with a bounch of guys ? which is more plesurable ? hhhmmmmmm
girl .... boyz ..... hhhmmmm
The choice is easy for me . I'd rather be with my girl more plessurable . | |
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| Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 1:19:29 PM | there is one thing i have learned from my past experiences.....
do NOT try to change someone. all that happens is you end up losing that person and changing yourself in the process....and usually not in a good way. 'Yamihere' stated that you should just find someone that fits your type. i agree 100% !!
i used to have this one gf who loved to party.....i however, do not. she would go out and i would say "go have a wicked time...call me when the hangover is gone"!! awwww what a sweet guy eh?!
yea
try 'what a sucker'
i was NEVER concerned until we went out to party together....WHOA!!
man did i ever learn a lesson!!!
is it just me...or when some stranger says "show us your tits" and your drunk gf DOES...do i have the right to get upset? do i have the right to be jealous? or insecure?
the answer is **** yea!
BUT....do i have the right to tell her to do this and don't do that? nope.
so what did i do?
MOVED ON!!!
best thing i ever did. | |
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| Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 1:20:47 PM | there's a time for everything man. why not do both?
i sure as hell want time with my boys and plenty of romance time too. get the best of both worlds. | |
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