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 VonVonVon...
Joined: 2/5/2006
Msg: 251
My Weight and My BoyfriendPage 11 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
1) You need rid of him - plain as. I suggest he tries the nearest forrest, these days that's pretty much the only place you'll find something that resembles a twig.

2) Darling...I've had a look at you're pictures :|

Big boobs - yes, big in general, HELL no.....


You've nothing to worry about, you're an extremely attractive woman, but yes...you DO need to lose some excess weight...that would come in the form of whatever this guy weighs.
Above all, if you're happy with yourself, the rest of the world can go swivvel.

Do what's right for you darling.

Von xxxx
 BRIANiac
Joined: 3/21/2006
Msg: 252
My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 4/17/2006 12:44:41 PM
I know this may be a bit late since the original was posted over 3 months ago, but your idea sounds about right to me. Let him leave if he doesn't like you the way you are. And unless your pictures are highly deceptive, I don't see why you claim to be a "large girl". Unless you carry a lot of weight in your ankles! You look plenty slim to me. I wouldn't worry about trying hard to lose weight unless there's a health factor or something.
 Smily_face
Joined: 2/1/2006
Msg: 253
My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 4/17/2006 2:16:13 PM
pandorarevealed, find yourself another boyfriend. If he truly loved you, he wouldn;t be so insensitive and would love you the way you are and most of all, he would care ab obut your health the most and wouldn't tell tell you to starve yourself. Or he could offer to go with you to the gym to work out together or go hiking or walking together, cook a nice,
low calorie dinner for you and give you support. Don;t waste your time, it will only get worse, he will not change. Good luck!
 margoe
Joined: 2/10/2006
Msg: 254
My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 4/17/2006 2:23:18 PM
Take it from someone else who has difficulty "taking it off". Depression can add water to you body, making you appear heavier. I was depressed for a long time-with a jerk who put me down for my size.
Long story short, the less depressed I became the more my clothing sizes went down . Used to be a 22- now a 14. SAME WEIGHT.
I would say don't fret over a number. it's how you feel about yourself that's important.
 tcky123
Joined: 12/9/2005
Msg: 255
My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 4/17/2006 11:16:47 PM
op you need some self esteem
 -Horrible/Brazen-
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 256
My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 4/17/2006 11:18:39 PM
Wow this thread is old. I don't even think she's with that guy anymore... or at least I hope not.
 jeox97
Joined: 9/18/2005
Msg: 257
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My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 4/18/2006 12:17:47 AM
how "skinny" is he anyway???
 SwampPrincessGin
Joined: 11/29/2005
Msg: 258
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My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 4/18/2006 3:20:30 AM
Honey, this man does not love you if he did he would love you no matter what size you are!.. Find a man who looks at your heart and your mind, not your dress size, This ***hole sounds like a total jerk and does not deserve you!..Tell him to take a powder, I am betting he is the reason, you got the extra weight to start with..I bet the ***hole loves french fries and eating fatting things.......Go on dump him!
 tesaz
Joined: 11/17/2004
Msg: 259
My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 4/18/2006 5:11:32 AM
What ever happened to the idea of people accepting others for who they are????? If YOU feel you want to lose some weight, then do so for yourself, not for him. It's like he wants to keep his image of having an attractive, thin girl by his side. You better do some serious thinking gurl, and good luck to ya.
 ~crazychic~
Joined: 3/7/2006
Msg: 260
My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 4/18/2006 12:15:40 PM

I'm a larger girl. I was larger than I am now when my current boyfriend met me.

He wants me to lose weight, but I am very sensitive about the topic. I'm already trying to very hard, but I have so much else going on in my life right now that honestly, shedding a few pounds is not a priority at this point


if u wanna lose weight then do it for urself....dont do it for anyone or because ur told to do it.....love urself for who and what u are as a person.....
 gemnest
Joined: 5/16/2005
Msg: 261
My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 4/19/2006 7:58:01 AM
Pandora how much does he weigh that would be a lot to loose at one time but I would cut him lose . If men can't except females for what they look like they shoudn't look So either blind him or take his weight out of this relationship . We all gain weight over time and if we are accepible at one time why not later HMMMMM!!!!!
 sweetpotata
Joined: 2/9/2006
Msg: 262
My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 5/4/2006 11:05:54 PM
Pandora,
You look like a sweet girl who is obviously quite tolerant of other people's imperfections. The easiest way for you to drop some weight would be to dump your boyfriend. It sounds like he has been dragging your ass down for too long. Hang out with your girlfriends and family who care about you and who support you while you take time out to heal!
 Deeblondie82
Joined: 4/15/2006
Msg: 263
My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 5/5/2006 1:16:56 AM
WHAT IS HIS DEAL? I dont see NOTHING Wrong with u.. your beautiful and for him to say u need to lose it cause of that.. is WRONG.. he should love you for WHO U ARE.... I mean its wrong.. I do understand he is ur first LOVE and thats hard to get passed ... but... u dont need someone to tell u to lose weight.. you need to lose it for YOU AND YOU ONLY!!! I am also lil on the thick side.. and if a guy cant love me for who i am he can BOUNCE... and I rather have a bf who is supportive if I wanted to lose the weight.... not bash me for being lil over weight.. good luck hun!
 Bk2
Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 264
My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 5/5/2006 8:53:01 AM
Hi pandorarevealed!

From a man -your senior....:)..... I just had to write....You are a beautiful young lady -your pictures are wonderful....that is fact!

From what you say this man constantly cutting you down -tearing you apart, very insensitive towards you, can't see a future with you (ultimatum), bigger apartment for you to fit in? Girl friend is a representation of him? [My response] -this is verbal abuse.....this person is an abuser from what you say -of course opinions vary. Will it get worse -some might say you are in a time-bomb relationship

This is your first love you say pandorarevealed.....but I will honestly tell you this does not sound like love coming from this man...of course opinions vary. Many would say....there is a man out there that will treat you kindly, with love, tenderness, and faithfully. A gentleman that will love the real you, the person within, treat you as an equal partner in life, hand-in-hand, and together you will share your sunsets and sunrises with anticipation and longing of gazing into your loves eyes....there is that person out there for you.

As for losing weight.....anyone can change their body....it only takes time, dedication, and effort.....if it will make you yourself happy....do it for yourself -no one else...:))

I wish you all the best...... be happy, be yourself, be positive, and vision a wonderful future for yourself....

0:)



 JerryInTampa
Joined: 9/28/2004
Msg: 265
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My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 5/5/2006 8:58:09 AM

My problem is he's very insensitive about it. He tells me to just starve myself if that's what it takes. Amongst other things, he's said that he can't see a future with me if I don't lose the weight (he won't get a place with me unless I lose weight because doesn't want to get a "bigger apartment" for me to fit in - wtf??)
Everyone is entitled to their own standards of what they find acttractive but comments like this are hurtful and insensitive. To be honest, find him counciling or find yourself a replacement. This is a real issue that will not go away just because you loose weight. In point of fact (especially considering you were that heavy when you met) it's the classic order of events that I hear from women who end up abusive relationships. Certainly it's already emotionally abusive.

His suggestion is also dangerous to your health. Personally, I would suggest that your feelings about your weight and your relationship are seperate issues.
 Michele2469
Joined: 8/29/2005
Msg: 266
My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 5/5/2006 8:58:38 AM
Get rid of him, I'm sure that he's not perfect either! You look very beautiful and it's what's inside that counts!
 Fry Lock
Joined: 10/4/2005
Msg: 267
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My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 5/5/2006 9:03:12 AM
how did I deal with it? I moved on, lost the weigh for ME and sent him before & after pics; I had a d**khead boyfriend once too, that told me I could "use a few lite beers" I lost 50 lbs, plus another 180 of ugly fat when I dumped him...
 lifeisprecious83
Joined: 1/23/2006
Msg: 268
My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 5/6/2006 11:47:12 PM
He's gotta love you for you! And this is who you are, dont ever let *anyone* change your mind about who you are. I think he is using your weight as an excuse because he is unhappy about other things. Trust me, even if you do lose weight, he STILL wont be happy, because he is so concerned about what other people think of him dating you, which is shallow and rude and arrogant. You deserve a guy who loves you and enriches your life and cares about you. I was once in a similar situation, until one day I wokeup and said to myself, screw this! I deserve better!! I want to be with someone who makes me feel good and happy and wanted, not worried and unhappy. You deserve better! There are WAY better men out there, and trust me, I know about the first love thing, but as I always say, if you love something, let it go...etc. Life goes go on without your first love, thats why they call it your 'first'~! Because there are more to follow! :D
I would love to hear how this turned out for you... stay well
 Mary_in_Michigan
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 269
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My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 5/8/2006 7:08:31 PM
Your a very beautiful young lady!!! DUMP him at once!!! Find someone to love YOU for YOU and NOT your weight!!! Relocate to Michigan and I'll introduce you to my almost 21 year old son, he's very respectful of women!!
 bugsybears
Joined: 10/6/2004
Msg: 270
My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 5/8/2006 7:20:29 PM
well sweetheart i hate to tell you this, but you need to dump his sorry butt. some times it just takes a while for some to show their true colors. find you a good man who will love you for who you are inside. good luck to you.
 bugsybears
Joined: 10/6/2004
Msg: 271
My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 5/8/2006 7:22:08 PM
well sweetheart i hate to tell you this, but you need to dump his sorry butt. some times it just takes a while for some to show their true colors. find you a good man who will love you for who you are inside. good luck to you.
 carpaccio
Joined: 4/20/2006
Msg: 272
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My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 5/8/2006 7:43:57 PM
DUMP HIM. He doesn't deserve you. He's not worth it. You deserve someone who wants to be with you, not your weight.
 mashur
Joined: 3/17/2006
Msg: 273
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My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 5/8/2006 7:53:58 PM
I say be yoursel, be who you are and want to be. You are not just a figure, you have mind, a personality and character. If he is not satisfied with the person you are, tell him to move on.
 mashur
Joined: 3/17/2006
Msg: 274
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My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 5/8/2006 7:56:45 PM
I say be yoursel, be who you are and want to be. You are not just a figure, you have mind, a personality and character. If he is not satisfied with the person you are, tell him to move on.
 jennipoo67
Joined: 5/8/2006
Msg: 275
My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 5/8/2006 8:33:40 PM
Dump him! I know it's hard, and it's very easy to tell someone else what to do, but you gotta bite the bullet. Your fed up with his abuse anyway, and yes it is abuse, so it should make the decision easier. I lived in the same situation, it wasn't as blatent but I felt it. I was very trim when I met him and over the years I gained quite a bit of weight. Our sex life decreased, he wouldn't hold my hand in public anymore, in fact, walked several feet ahead of me most times! lol. There were always little comments etc., and when he became interested in some physical activities, like hiking, skiing etc. he didn't want to include me. He didn't realize that it would've been good for me and would have helped me lose weight! The more this went on the more my self esteem went down and I wouldn't have lost the weight anyway! You can't lose weight if you don't feel good about yourself because depression sets in and it's a viscious cycle. But I did lose weight then, by dropping the dead weight hanging around my neck and that was my ex. After a couple of months I actually lost 50 pounds, but I did it for myself, both mentally and physically. I met my future husband after this who loved me for who I was. I had two children and did gain weight again from this. He still made me feel sexy because he loved me. If your boyfriend loved you there would be no issue about your weight. The only issue he would have would be for health reasons and he would have positive things to say and give support! My husband and I are seperated now, "irreconcilable differences", and I am trying to lose weight again (never ending battle) but for health reasons, because i have two active boys who need a healthy mom. I still feel sexy and you should too. Lose weight if you want to or you don't have to. I think people should have a little meat on their bones anyway. Anyway sorry for being a little longwinded, have to learn how to write it short and sweet!
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