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 miss_contemplative
Joined: 3/12/2008
Msg: 373
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My Weight and My BoyfriendPage 16 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
^^^ Was that for real? The issue here isn't HER being a BBW, it's HIS refusal to acknowledge the obvious, that the idiot had the gall to begin a relationship with her when she was actually HEAVIER than she is now.

If this was a woman b*tching that the guy won't change for her, every dude in this house would be reaming her out for such idiocy as believing you can change someone.

Fat women are easy targets. The guy is emotionally abusive. That much is obvious. If he doesn't want her or doesn't feel attracted to her anymore, then he should just leave. WITHOUT the demoralizing putdowns to the OP.

And I'm sure the OP would fare better for herself without this ball and chain hindering her progress to take good care of herself.
 sexyfunguy
Joined: 4/9/2005
Msg: 374
My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 10/17/2009 11:16:38 PM
Miss Contemplative: go back and reread what the OP said. She clearly states that she's given up on continuing to try to lose weight, and it also states that the guy is upset about this.

Making blanket half ass statements about how this guy is emotionally abusive without knowing more information is not helpful. We do not know how long the guy waited before turning on the hard love tactic, nor do we know if he is even being that verbally abusive. What we do know is that the OP was emotionally distraught by the situation, and could just as much be exaggerating the whole thing.

The only thing that is obvious is that you're jumping to wholesale conclusions without any shred of evidence.
 maggie127
Joined: 8/22/2009
Msg: 375
My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 10/18/2009 12:12:16 AM
i understand where youre coming from him being your first love but take it from a 52 year old with experience of same thing get out girl while you have the chance as you will never please him and if he thinks you're doing it for him he will beging to want you to change other things and you will end up not being you, you will be what he wants. say no and if you wan to loose weight do it for yourself not for anyone else.
i have just got out of a long marriage where i was constantly hurt like you. its not good for you please take that first step and leave him. since my split i have begun to loose weight no problem i go swimming take exercise and am beginning to feel attractive again. you only sound young go for it dont be like me and leave it till its nearly to late. girl power do it for you
 StevieCashmere
Joined: 4/22/2009
Msg: 376
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My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 10/18/2009 5:58:47 AM
Mentioned before ..i'm sure

Don't change yourself for anyone - they are never worth it if they demand it
But If there something you don't like and you can't change for yourself, then.........


~sc~
 Gem With Flaws
Joined: 9/28/2009
Msg: 377
My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 10/18/2009 7:16:50 PM
Just sit on him and ask him to repeat his request.
 BlueEyes1712
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 378
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My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 10/18/2009 7:31:34 PM
Get rid of him, hes not intrested in you the person. Just like you said he isnt being sensative regarding your position. Remember someone can always loose weight but its much more difficult for ugly to become beautiful
 Gem With Flaws
Joined: 9/28/2009
Msg: 379
My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 10/18/2009 7:43:32 PM
If you want to lose weight, do it for you, not for him.

I put some weight on when I had kids and it detracted from the affection my husband showed. Time went on, we broke up, and I lost all the excess weight.

He told me he thought I was beautiful, I just grunted (not in a good way either).

Move on for you.
 mariab27
Joined: 9/13/2009
Msg: 380
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My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 10/18/2009 8:21:33 PM
thank him for his honesty. then leave him. been in the same situation. real feelings goes beyond physical appearances.

in truth, physical attraction as well as other things must be present in a relationship, but someone who cannot accept you for who you are...does not deserve you at your best either.

change comes from within, and if you're happy with how you look and accept yourself for who you are, then what are you doing with him?

if you stay, and you're unhappy, you'll end up resenting him.
 WalkingInLondon
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 381
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My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 10/18/2009 9:08:42 PM
Why in the world would you stay with this jerk? Kick him to the curb. If you want to lose weight, do it. But do it for you, not for this douchebag. He is controlling and asinine. I wouldn't be with someone who treated me this way. It would totally make me rebel and eat Hershey bars all day long!

Pack all the stuff he has at your place and drop it off at his front door. He's a loser.

Beth
 la dee da
Joined: 3/12/2008
Msg: 382
My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 10/18/2009 9:15:50 PM
I had a bf buy me a gym membership and say he wanted more 'quality time' with me. Needless to say, at 5'2 115lbs I was too fat for him.

ANYWAYS... moral of the story, ***hole guys need to put in thier place. Dump his ass and find better.
 disenchantedone
Joined: 9/11/2009
Msg: 383
My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 10/19/2009 6:36:42 PM
I would dump him so fast his head would spin. You were heavier when he started pursuing you. If he loved you, he wouldn't be telling you to do something harmful to your body in order to fit his image. It's pathetic that he is comparing you to prior girlfriends and that he is so narrow-minded to think thin = attraction.

The verbal abuse...and this is what it is...is a prelude to hitting. I have lived through it. I had a baby and didn't get down to 123 lbs I was before I had my first son. It started 6 weeks after my son was born and he started in on me.

Eventually, physical abuse came into the picture, but...it always came back too my weight. Every argument for 16 long years and 3 children later.

As long as you are healthy, being a little overweight is OK. It's when you are overweight and not doing a darn thing you are risk.
 nicoolka
Joined: 8/15/2008
Msg: 384
My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 10/25/2009 1:25:00 AM
dump him!- he doesnt loves you!
if he want a thin girlfriend-then he should find himself a thin girlfriend!
plus him telling you to starve yourself-is completely disgusting-shows that he doesnt even care's about your health!
dump-him and loose weight slowly...in a healthy non-stress way...
plus if youll loose weight very quckly the probability of putting even more on is pretty big!
 Kevinique
Joined: 10/20/2009
Msg: 385
My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 10/28/2009 12:06:33 PM
Another very emotive issue
how did you cope? I was originally working very hard to take it off, but his constant criticism has only discouraged me. In my case, I can't decide what to do.
My ex once made a sideways comment at me once when after a week of working out I dropped 3lbs "3lbs - Is that it!!!!!" I told her straight "I'm supposed to be your man and instead of encouraging me you come with this negative Bull***"

Losing weight is simple [u]"not easy"[/u] but simple. There are 3,500 kcal in a pound of fat 9kcals in a gram of fat 4 kcal in a gram of Protein and 4kcal in a gram of Carbohydrate. About 2 to 3 litres of water hydrates your body and can help surpress your appetite and have 6 smaller meals or 3 meals and 3 snacks. Increase your activity slow and steady is better than fast and erratic. I lost 30+lbs quite quickly put it all back on with interest at my heaviest I weighed over 23stones so I know a thing or 2 about what your going through but I'm affraid the biggest amount of dead weight you need to lose is your so-called man.

Why are you over-weight? You need to take time out examine and explore the reasons why, you can't half-a$$ and don't focus too much on where you're going but enjoy the journey. When I realised I could jog 2k in 28 mins when mere weeks before I stuggled just to go round the lake in my local park once I was chuffed. My advice bin your man focus on getting fitter and healthier and let weightloss be a by product of that. You will feel the changes before you see them. Your man is bringing negative energy into your space if you keep his a$$, you'll never be happy so charge him to the game and Do you!!!
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