| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/18/2005 10:39:01 PM | LOL Barnbabe... what, in ditching men??? 
I just think this shmuck is insecure and putting her down because of it. She's gorgeous. Why the hell should she have to change for some man? I'm not the skinniest chick out there, in fact I could lose 40lbs, but if a man EVER said I should, I'd pick up my jaw off the floor, smack him, and walk out. | |
|
| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/18/2005 10:44:36 PM | Nawh I just see you post a lot and you give good advice most of the time. And we seem to agree this time that dumping MUST HAPPEN.
OP - You are a beautiful woman and I don't think you're fat at all.
And Brazen, if you lose 40 lbs they'll declare you a missing person. | |
|
| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/18/2005 11:18:15 PM | I don't think that is healthy to be so consumed about what anyone thinks about you.
I've been there, in fact, there was a point when I actually wouldn't even consider a guy who comes on to me who not a larger guy himself. I sickly heard somewhere that a girl shouldn't be 30% above the weight of her partner. But of course, I came to my senses and realized that it's all bullshit.
If you can find someone who is happy to be with you and loves in every shape and form, then so be it.
Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow. | |
|
| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/18/2005 11:35:37 PM | Ditto, Pandora. Dump his lame ass. HE'S the one with issues, and if he keeps treating you that way and putting you down, he's going to cause you eating disorders. I'll bet you can't even eat in front of him comfortably, and you said you couldn't tell him your weight cause it would just give him more ammunition to verbally abuse you.
He's not being helpful or supportive of a healthier you. He is making it worse for you. You won't make changes until you are ready to, and his verbal abuse may only delay your free will to make changes. No matter how much someone else badgers you, it will only hurt and not help you. He is trying to be controlling and is being abusive. Get out now before he totally denegrades all your self esteem. You deserve so much better. He's got big issues, girlfriend, not you!
Petunia G. 
Edit: I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! I knew before even looking at GDSG's profile that he'd have for his body type: "Prefer not to say" Another guy with weight and self-image issues.
| |
|
| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/18/2005 11:57:54 PM | When he's gone...all the weight you "need" to lose is gone. Good luck.
Remember..nobody EVER misses the weight they lose. | |
|
| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/18/2005 11:59:34 PM | | Ummm... someone with anorexia wouldn't feel better dropping 20 lbs. Ya know, some people DO have problems with being too thin. | |
|
| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/19/2005 12:00:12 AM | | Geeze Pandora you have to know staying is not an option. So your already having problems eating in front of him, next the problem will be eating at any time. These problems tend to snowball, stop it now. I've seen your photos and you must know your extremely attractive. One of the best ways to control someone is to get them to think they can get nobody else. Don't let yourself be emotionally destroyed by someone so cruel. Losing weight is a great thing if done in a healthy manner, this is not about your weight, you need to understand that. This is about beating you down until you think he's a great guy for staying with you. I hope you can see what's happening here, get away before it does permanent damage. As always the best to you Pandora. | |
|
| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/19/2005 12:02:53 AM | to the original poster.....
you are on 172 favs lists
you are doing ok ....congrads
maybe get another boyfriend
and if you feel you should lose some wieght .....just do it for yourself
you have a pretty face you will do good | |
|
| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/19/2005 12:02:56 AM | | thats funny? well u have two options 1) you could dump him on his rear 2) you could do the country a favour and lose the weight. being over weight is proven to not be healthy and comes with hudge amount of problems........heart problems, diabeties, kidney failure.............plus it looks unhealthy and ther is no way you could feel happy about it? | |
|
| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/19/2005 12:03:16 AM | | Girl get this joker out of your life! Sit him down for for a "talk" and tell him your very sorry but his little bity weeny just isn't enough for ya...Seriously, though nobody needs to even think about being with such a control freak, and that's exactly what he's trying to do, control...Any man that was worth your time would never treat you this way! Good Luck.. | |
|
| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/19/2005 12:12:08 AM | @Dan
She's not obese. How can you sit there and add to this girl's already fragile self-esteem problem??? That's sick, just sick.  | |
|
| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/19/2005 12:30:25 AM | | well it just happens i was using a little reverse phycology on the kid, hey it helped my ass. i was yelled at and sh!t, i was unhealthy i changed it around! for the better! | |
|
| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/19/2005 12:31:28 AM | | LOL ok I'll bite. Care to enlighten me about what photo I'm dressed inappropriately? The one as my forum avatar... is ~gasp~ a christmas CARTOON. I was being festive. | |
|
| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/19/2005 12:40:54 AM | | keep the cartoon its cool................thank god you did not put a pic of santa there...... | |
|
| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/19/2005 12:44:52 AM | It is a lot easier to get rid of the weight than I think that you think. It only takes a few simple changes in your life, and bingo, the weight starts coming off:
Don't drink your calories ie; drink water (lots of calories gone gone)
Eat mustard instead of salad dressing
When your hungry, drink more water.
Walk when you want to snack.
Drink more water...............just these few changes will make a world of differance over time.
It is simple and anyone can do it.
Concerning your man.............well, he should be nice about it, but if he cares about you then he should try to help you get the weight off, but never in a mean way. He should say, lets go for a walk, I just don't think we are getting enough exercise, and when you two go out, he should pick up your food for you and he should have already taken advantage of decreasing your calorie intake by ordering you both the same thing and asking for mustard etc ............There are lots of ways to help you without being mean. Tracy (buccaneer38) | |
|
| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/19/2005 1:22:53 AM | | Hey if your not happy change it but don't lose wait cause an ***hole like him can't appreciate you for you. Me personally would dump his ass if he started dating you when you were the same size u were know. The only person who should be caring is you. are you happy with your weight or not.. There are alot of nice guys out there don't settle for trash. | |
|
| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/19/2005 2:26:21 AM | | I SEE YOU AS A BEAUTIFUL SENSITIVE WOMAN.IF YOU FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF THE WAY YOU ARE THEN THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS.NOT WHAT OTHERS THINK OF YOU.I THINK YOUR BOYFRIEND NEEDS A SHRINK IF ALL HE SEE'S IS YOUR WEIGHT.DID HE GO OUT WITH YOU SOULY ON THE BASIS OF LOOKS AND NOT WHAT'S INSIDE.PRETTY SHALLOW,I THINK YOU NEED SOME ONE WHO'LL SEE THE WONDERFUL PERSON YOU ARE AND NOT PUT LABLES ON YOU AND EXPECT YOU TO CONFORM TO HIS WAY OF THINKING JUST BECAUSE HE'S SELFISH! | |
|
| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/19/2005 4:25:28 AM | For those who are suggesting I should lose weight..
For starters, I already know how, and have already lost weight while I've been with him. But it's getting out of control because losing isn't good enough, he wants me to lose faster. And because I've lost weight, it makes it more frustrating when I hear it's not good enough.
Before I went to bed last night I called him.. told him I'd walk if he doesn't admit that he's wrong and that I wouldn't tolerate him getting on my case about it, because it only makes it worse. And that if he loved me, even if he wanted me to lose weight for the better, he wouldn't go about it in a way that is killing me inside. I told him I need support, not a push.
He tells me that's fine, but he wants me to be open about my weight, and he'd promise not to judge me.
I'm giving it time and seeing how I feel in a few days, because I don't really believe that promise. It's true that I wasn't open about it and I could understand his frustration, but how could I be open when this is the type of reaction I'd get?
So everyone knows, he is really caring as well. He will tell me many times how beautiful I am and how much he loves me.. it's just that he undermines it all in a second by being so crass.
And for the record, I've suggested talking walks with him, and just doing more active things while we're together. He refused, he wants me to run instead because it works better. He just won't let me take my time losing, at all, and damn.. quit pushing when I'm already doing what I can. | |
|
| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/19/2005 4:41:57 AM | | Im sorry, But maybve i need glasses,... You look really great and attractive..I don't know what your boyfriend is thinking, You,Overweight??..i don't think so!..I'll be your boyfriend anyday!!..lol..He needs to wear glasses...!!..You should go ahead and dump the insensitive jerk!..Go find a real man who will treat you with respect and dignity! | |
|
| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/19/2005 5:23:54 AM | I started to lose weight a few months ago because *I* wanted to.... and when I started to slim down my boyfriend encouraged me by saying I was looking so hot, etc....
He never once told me to lose weight, or compared me to any exes and when I did it because I wanted to, he was encouraging and motivating and making me feel great.
This guy sounds like a tool. | |
|
| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/19/2005 5:25:42 AM | | Wow i don't think i could ever tell a girlfriend to lose weight i wouls just hop that she cares about being helthy | |
|
| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/19/2005 5:27:38 AM | | you are beautiful, and he's an idiot. sounds like he has not only some control issues, but needs a soul transplant. how could anyone say they care for you, and say shit like that? answer: they can't. how much does he weigh? that's the weight you need to lose. there are plenty of men who would love, respect, and appreciate you. | |
|
| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/19/2005 5:30:36 AM | | yeah if he treats you like that! then you need to walk and let him try to find another women that would put up with that! people like that die alone! | |
|
| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/19/2005 5:36:57 AM | | You ARE tryin to rationalize it. He has no right to demand to know how much you weigh. WTF does it matter if he loves you? Is he the poundage police? Leave his sorry butt. He has shown ZERO respect for you, and that should not be acceptable. It's not about how much you weigh...it's about your feelings and his complete lack of caring. Your SO should make you feel GOOD about yourself, not horrible. His excuses are lame and cowardly (his Dad, your health...bullshi$). He feels badly about himself for whatever reason, and takes it out on you...THAT is NOT love my sistah! He has some control issues, no matter what he says to try and hide that fact....get out now before it gets worse. If you choose to lose the weight, GREAT...do it for your own health. But never, never, never let someone tell you you are not 'good enough' for them. You deserve much better then a jerk who would make you cry just because he can and then call it 'help'. It's sick. Go find someone who makes you feel like the sexiest thing walking. Personal growth can be scary, it's hard to leave our comfort zones, even when they are seriously damaging us.....but you will be better person for it. Just remind yourself that to accomplish what you want in this life you MUST move forward (whether its weight, school, job, relationship, etc.). In this case, it means leaving him behind for your own self worth. Good luck to you hon! | |
|
| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/19/2005 5:44:23 AM | | It is not a bad idea for health reasons. Do it for yourself when "you" are ready....in the meantime chuck Shallow Hal to the curb...you deserve better. | |
|
Home
login 
