| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/19/2005 6:03:00 AM | even if he did have your best interest at heart, he failed in providing you with support. it's time for you to take control of the relationship & get a support system. Playing house with this guy is a very bad idea, but we sure can.  | |
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| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/19/2005 6:06:51 AM | | i have'nt read one post that says keep this guy........they all say dump the insensitive pr*ck, and do it before the holidays too. he's not worth your time. good luck | |
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| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/19/2005 9:07:32 AM | You are so worth more than that.. it doesnt what you look like.. if you're thin he will be probably ask you to have a boob job.. you sound like nice person and i think you know it yourself that he is not worth it. the only thing that is stopping you that is he is your first love.I understand that weight can be an issue in relationship but he should support you 100% instead of putting you down and reprimindaing you, who does he think he is, your teacher??? My ex boyfriend was the same.. he hated me wearing make up.. i stopped for him then he was on and on about my figure that i was never good enough for him, that no one would look at me and that i was lucky to have him and all that psycho bollocks.. and it wore me down that i told him to sod off.. on new year eve 2000.. best thing i ever done!!
Tell us what you have decided to do now or not.. just follow your instincts..
take care
T | |
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| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/19/2005 9:10:44 AM | Honey it's a control issue for him and it's also abusive...
Like the rest I say dump this scag!
You make changes for you and only you! | |
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| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/19/2005 9:10:50 AM | if you loose weight, do it for yourself, not for him. he is a jack ass. if he was concerned about you at all he wouldn't be so damn tacky. he is superficial and shallow.
now, if he was truly concerned about you he would make this a joint effort. he would encourage you to do this for health and stand beside you and participate in the endeavor. if you do choose a weight loss program, make sure that it includes diet and exercise. eating right has alot more to do with it then you think. and don't let him reap the rewards. dump his ass and find a man that appreciates you and truly cares for your well being. | |
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| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/19/2005 9:25:16 AM | pandora~
i have already written you on such subject but a few things. if he loved you he wouldn't push you like this.he wouldn't talk to you that way. and another thing even if it is his dad who has the problem(doubtful) he should stand up for you and be a man. you really need to have a talk with him tell him all this again such as how you feel when he does this stuff and if he keeps it up you will break up with him and stick to it. and yes it is alot easier to lose weight if you are a laborer i had a very physically demanding job and lost 100 lbs in less than a year, then when i went back to college and left that job i gained alot back. you are on the right track and losing weight at your own pace. bottom line if he can't accept you the way you are..dump his a$$ and move on..there are more fish in the sea | |
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| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/19/2005 9:31:14 AM | | If my bf would put me down about my weight like he does you i would have alright knocked him about, im slightly overweight(about 28 lbs over right now) , but we were seperated for 2 months and i lost 10lbs it felt great, well we got back together and we talked, he said i like the way u are now but would like it better if you lost a little weight, but when i first met him i weighed 130 now i weigh 168, I need to weigh 140 though, im doing it a little at a time, he knows i want to loose weight though! But yeah my bf never calls me names or anything like that, thats just wrong! I use to get seconds at dinner time, now i get one plate and thats it, diet dr pepper helps too, or water! Once you start drinking Diet Dr Pepper you'll get use to the taste, its really not that bad! Maybe you should go somewhere for a couple weeks, or tell him you guys need a brake away from each other for awhile, it worked for me, he was basically begging me to come back, i do everything around his house though, laundry, clothes, some cooking, u name it! They come to realization about what you did for them once your gone, My aunt told me this and it actually worked, got love your aunt :) | |
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46lint
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Joined: 12/16/2005
Msg: 84 | |
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| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/19/2005 9:46:54 AM | Something I've learned a long long time ago.... never say anythiing about a womans weight...It'll backfire
when my parents were in their middleages they knew this couple. the guy was always harping on his weightweight--and she had a trim figure.... the guy left her for a lot heavier barmaid.... my mom's fried was heartbroken. She literally starve her self to death... weight 40 lbs when she died in her fifties...
byron | |
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| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/19/2005 9:47:25 AM | Honey, everyone here is so full of support for you...so listen to your heart...and to express one of my favorite quotes:
No man is worth your tears, and the man who is, won't make you cry...
and if that doesn't work...remember Honey, Time wounds all heals :)
I've been there too babe, and I didn't need to lose the weight...I was healthy and in better shape than him...he is just trying to control you because it makes him feel like a bigger person. So, ignore him and call his bluff.
Move on girl, there are plenty of fish in the sea.  | |
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sddude
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Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 87 | |
| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/19/2005 9:55:41 AM | | Damn Pandora , you are so cute that if I met you , I would freeze up and shy away , I am too much of a loser for a cute girl like you anyhow , dump anyguy that cannot value you , I see nothing wrong with you , do not even know you , you may be evil or an angel , but as far as I can detect you are a great girl . Too bad I suck . | |
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| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/19/2005 10:20:57 AM | well pandora - you sound like you want to stay with him - and we all know you need to learn the same lessons some of us had to go through when we asked for advice and got it and didnt want to accept it until we learned that we couldnt accept the crap of changing for him to make him happy - when in truth nothing you can do will make this guy happy. Best of luck to you and your decision - I do hope all of us who posted dump his ass are wrong about your loved one.  | |
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| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/19/2005 10:33:01 AM | | My exboyfriend and I lived together. I moved from Oklahoma to Tennessee to be together. I was a little heavy when I met him also. He asked me to marry him, but said that he couldn't marry me until I lost weight. He said that I couldn't look good in a wedding dress unless I was skinny. I would go to the store with him, and he would see a blonde hair skinny girl, and he would point and say, "That is what you are going to look like when you loose weight." You are who you are, and that is what you should be. Who determines beauty? You do. So be yourself. Needless to say, I left him. If he can't appreciate who I am, then he doesn't deserve me. And that goes for you too. If he can't accept you, then don't waste your time on a piece of shit like that. You deserve better. | |
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| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/19/2005 10:43:02 AM | Any kind of change like that should only happen because YOU want it to. You can't and won't lose weight until you are ready and you choose to do it. It is the same with quitting smoking etc.
Your boyfriend is an ass. Honesty is one thing, what he is doing is belittling you. He is saying that unless his friends find you attractive, he doesn't want to be seen with you. This means that he doesn't value your inner self at all and is judging his love for you by your outer appearance. It's a sad way to be.
Dump his ass...lose the weight (if you want to)...and then let him cry into his beer as guys way cooler than him, hit on you. | |
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| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/19/2005 11:24:32 AM | I lost 190 pounds of ugly fat.
How?
I divorced him!
My regrets to my exhusband for smearing his reputation with this lame joke.
No, I repeat myself. If you do lose weight, do it for yourself. Not for someone else.
I should look so good!
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| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/19/2005 11:39:07 AM | I would kick him to the curb and move on. If you have notice all the threads saying the same thing. I do think your self esteem has been dump on by him, and what makes you think he will treat you well when your thin. If you lose it and put it back on, the stress of this man is going to be on your mind.
Find a man who will love all of you, every square inch of you and once you kick him to the curb maybe talk to a councillor about your self image. If he really loved you, he wouldn't be so controlling.
Meet someone that can make you laugh...good luck | |
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| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/19/2005 12:12:29 PM | Pandora, the folks here have given you some great advice. Take it.
I too had a man in my life when I was about your age who wanted me to lose weight, "about 20 pounds or so" he said. The comments were the same as you are getting, yet he continued to profess his love for me. I knew I was overweight and I did want to do something about it (I couldn't fit into a lot of my clothes anymore), but his snide remarks weren't very supportive, and yes, he made them in front of his friends and family. Why I stayed in the relationship was same as you.... young and in love!! Eventually I did lose the weight (about 25 pounds) while he and I were together, but because I wanted to feel physically better, not for him. Not long after that, he started accusing me of cheating on him, showing off my body to other men, having no respect for him, and things like that. He actually destroyed some of my clothes because he thought they showed too much skin (clothes that HE BOUGHT FOR ME). We were not living together but he had asked me to move in with him; I refused. He of course got upset and then really went nuts; started with the stalking, constant phone calls and notes on my car at home and at work. I confronted him one morning while he was putting a rose on my car and told him to leave me alone. After about another week of his phone calls, he finally got the message.
So turns out HE was the one with the problem, not me. I am still curvy and know plenty of men like it like that....  | |
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| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/19/2005 12:13:46 PM | you're a thick girl, but who cares? you're F'ing hot thick.
tell him to go date kate "cokesnortting" moss and talk to me baby.
lol | |
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| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/19/2005 12:21:42 PM | More and more excuses to everyones sudgestions.
Give yourself more reasons why it's ok, and he's not to blame 100/oo
Anyhow, as much as we are taking the time giving you advice, it's still going in a circle.
Classic signs of you know what ppl.
*take care* | |
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| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/19/2005 12:22:36 PM | this is a no-brainer. You should never change yourself to keep a man. NEVER. Anyone who loves you won't ask you to change. Hell, even if a guy wanted me to change my hairstyle, I'd say no. Screw that!
The dude is a loser.
You are a beautiful girl. If you want to lose the weight, do it for YOU. Trust me sweetie....there are plenty of men who like the extra curves you have. Dump the loser....easiest way to lose some ugly pounds is to lose the boyfriend. | |
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| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/19/2005 12:25:20 PM | i'm sorry, but if a gf came home with a nasty haircut i'd tell her to change up that shit.
that's stuff you can control.
weight and body type isn't .
that girl looks hot as hell thick. i'd never ask her to change that.
but if she came back looking like sinead o'conner we'd have words. | |
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| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/19/2005 12:32:05 PM |
i'm sorry, but if a gf came home with a nasty haircut i'd tell her to change up that shit.
that's stuff you can control.
exactly...CONTROL | |
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| My Weight and My Boyfriend
Posted: 12/19/2005 12:34:26 PM | Pandora you first of all are a beautiful girl. Secondly lose this guy faster than a bad cold. He met you heavier than you are now, than he should accept it, not push you to lose weight. I think it's great that YOU want to lose weight, but dont do it for HIM. As others have stated, he'll just find something else to pick on. It's mental and emotional abuse and it's probably a way in which he can control you.
If he thinks that YOU are a reflection of him...think..HE is a reflection of YOU. So do you want people thinking you are a shallow loser? Probably not. How you cope is easy...ditch him. Been there, done that. Had a bf that met me as I was than suddenly said I needed to lose weight, workout or he wouldnt be seen in public with me. Sorry, I'm not a project for you to work on. You can do WAY better girl. Goodluck. | |
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