| What is going slow in regards to a relationship?
Posted: 1/20/2006 5:04:13 PM | I have been in 2 relationships that went "slow" and for good reasons.
One was to control feelings, not get too attached where one has a feeling of ownership over the other party, that works, the lust factor went well past the 6 month stage, probably one of the most satisfying that I had as it lasted for several years. We never took each other for granted.
The second one wanted to go "slow" after he asked me to marry him. He was testing how much patience I had and if my desire for him would continue. | |
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| What is going slow in regards to a relationship?
Posted: 1/20/2006 5:58:13 PM | | To me, going slow means taking at least 6 mths to do things as a " couple ". I like my space, my independence...and so, I wouldn't want to rush things into coupledom asap. I think it takes me roughly 1 yr to get the hang of things. | |
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KSP149
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Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 103 | |
| What is going slow in regards to a relationship?
Posted: 1/20/2006 6:32:07 PM | | When she says, lets Go Slow it just means, you yet to prove yourself. When He says, lets go slow it means hes got a few irons in the fire and doesnt want any moral conflictions at this point . Im never kinda attracted to someone. Im never kinda unsure weather I want to spend time with someone. If the attraction is there it is, If the attraction isn't and is not reciprocated, shouldn`t that say something. Ya sure, we`ve all been hurt at one time or another, but is going slow into a realtionship that one or both aren't ready for going to work? I can give you one of the worst" got burned stories", you`ve probably heard, but instead, I believe lives too short, I think you need to be happy in your skin first. And once you are every new bigginning is fun and interesting, and if it ends, well shitty but your still happy when you look in the mirror. | |
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| What is going slow in regards to a relationship?
Posted: 1/21/2006 4:47:19 AM |
It's funny that many here compare going at a natural(fast) pace to the behavier of chinps , well chinps are the 2nd smartest animals on the planet , they share 98% of our DNA(just 4 protein differences in their genetic code) , infact they are so smart they can be taught sign language and hold complex conversations with us. But thats where the comparison ends , they dont have complex mating rituals , they just seek out a girl chimp display their strengh and in most cases they mate for life . There is no divorse and alamony or child support, a girl chimp does not leave because she is bored, the male chimp does not beat his mate.
A male chimp acheives status not based on his familly tree but on his ability as a protector,
hmmmmm maybe chimps arent the second smartest creatures on the planet , maybe we are.
Mortalez, you and Flamesoflove could be right about the natural superiority of chimps, my friend. How many male chimps waste their time sending emails to female chimps who are likely to completely ignore them, or engaging in long email correspondences and interminable IM sessions with female chimps that they've never seen and who are likely to disappear at any moment because they misread some line you wrote -- or, worse yet, weren't really serious about dating or mating in the first place? They may be chimps but at least most of them aren't CHUMPS like some of us.  | |
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| What is going slow in regards to a relationship?
Posted: 1/21/2006 5:29:48 PM | | I beg to differ guys. People that want to go longterm.....which to me means the rest of our lives....are not about to go full tilt into it, from the start. Personally I don't wish to make a mistake on a life altering decision, based on initial attraction. A relationship takes time to build and seconds to destroy. Personally, some people have waited till they moved in to show their true colours. I would prefer to wait and see if there are any red flags, before I can hand a man my heart. If that is baggage to others, I'm sorry, but I don't wish to get my heart ripped out and shattered that way again. I want to know the person isn't going to go after any eye candy, or if he's into me completely or he makes a half hearted attempt. I want to know if the lust stage goes further than a few dates. Anotherwords, is he in it for the long haul, or just a few months fling? I have gone with the flow a few times, only to discover the chimp syndrome. What's wrong with being careful, slow and right about who you want to spend the rest of your life with? Everyone has their own time frame to base their decisions, but I agree that if you never see the every day person, it's too slow. | |
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| What is going slow in regards to a relationship?
Posted: 1/21/2006 5:45:53 PM | | From the "jims' arcane book of ridiculous obscure references" Go Slow is that little sign you see right before you enter the population center of Anytown USA. As in hey look Moe we're in Goslow. | |
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| What is going slow in regards to a relationship?
Posted: 1/21/2006 7:39:20 PM | It means that someone is carrying around way too much baggage to progress in a normal speed
Brilliant!!
This "go slow" thing has, in my experience - and I'm talking more the experiences of friends, but also a few of my own - always seems to mean one, or more, or all of the following:
(S)he is playing the field, dating a bunch of people, and still figuring out who the lucky winner will be.
(S)he is not ready to date because (s)he just got out of a relationship, but started something with you by mistake - and are too nice to just end it.
As already mentioned, (s)he isn't sure (s)he wants to give up her/his freedom yet - having the cake and eating it too, if you will.
(S)he isn't really that into you, knows you ARE into her/him, but likes the attention and/or company, and is hoping it will just stay a friendship (which rarely happens).
Call me cynical or bitter if you want, and I'll call you naive or idealistic | |
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| What is going slow in regards to a relationship?
Posted: 1/22/2006 4:27:27 AM | Well ...
There is going slow without undue haste
Then there is moving at a glacial pace
Yes, its quite true, be friends first
bubbles of lust so often burst
But if after three dates
no kissing takes place
you can be sure of this
you're on the "friends" list ... forever! | |
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| What is going slow in regards to a relationship?
Posted: 1/22/2006 5:06:59 AM | Going slow,,,,,,,the definition to some could be
They truely know they do not have the time that one could expect.
The person may not want you to be be disappointed because they do not want you to think because they can not spend every spare second with you, is taking it slow until they can properly spend the time with you that one may expect.
All depends in what one expectations are when starting to date someone but if this happens later on in the relationship, it means it wil end but possibly on good terms. | |
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| What is going slow in regards to a relationship?
Posted: 1/26/2006 3:00:22 AM | i dont think going slow actually means u have to spend time apart
i think it means together to know each other
means not jumping right into bed n then marriage
how can u know u love someone u dont know enough to marry them
i think dating spending time together and communication for a period of time is taking it slow
just remember no matter how slow u still gotta have communication to grow     | |
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| What is going slow in regards to a relationship?
Posted: 1/26/2006 3:07:15 AM | but too many people jump in the sack right away
they think it is love when it is lust or just plain being horney
after marriage they find out wow we cant spend all our time in bed but thats the pnly place we get along
oopppppssss too late now we gonna hurt the kids too | |
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| What is going slow in regards to a relationship?
Posted: 1/26/2006 3:31:14 AM | come on peeps dont u think that maybe u should at least go slow enough to make sure they are disease free 
ok lets take 10 minutes to find out we wanna hope in bed n the rest of our lives SLOWLYtrying to figure out if we will find a cure | |
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| What is going slow in regards to a relationship?
Posted: 1/26/2006 3:36:19 AM | lmao dave
i lived with my 2nd ex for 16 years before marriage and it was 15 years before sex
now ud think that was slow
hahaha wrong we married n it lasted 3 1/2 years but yeah we still friends n talk to each other | |
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| What is going slow in regards to a relationship?
Posted: 1/26/2006 3:58:12 AM | "going slow" in my opinion is not jumping into a "love" relationship and remain friends first until the butterflies grow into buzzards...then jump into the "love relationship.
....I would like to make a public apology: I didnt mean buzzards I meant Turkeys. | |
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| What is going slow in regards to a relationship?
Posted: 1/26/2006 4:25:45 AM |
(Msg 118) come on peeps dont u think that maybe u should at least go slow enough to make sure they are disease free
Absolutely! And that takes less than a week. If two people are serious they will get tested. Both can be present. Swabs and blood tests taken and both present when the results are returned.
I did that with a partner. I wanted to have sex without using a condom every time so we decided to get tested. | |
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| What is going slow in regards to a relationship?
Posted: 1/26/2006 5:04:23 AM | Most women (as some of the other gentlemen on here have pointed out) that say they want to take it slow = I have been hurt in the past and I am not going to let it happen again. Taking it slow is a bunch of crap...........you will know when its right.......trust your heart trust your instincts...........if either or both say run ..........by all means run.
lived with my 2nd ex for 16 years before marriage and it was 15 years before sex
now ud think that was slow
15 years no sex .................wouldnt happen not in house if its a relationship that leads to marriage
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| What is going slow in regards to a relationship?
Posted: 1/26/2006 5:20:33 AM | I have read all the comments about going slow. I read this because I am confused about a dating relationship that I am in now/but want it to move forward. I have been one to jump in to a relationship and also in my second taking my time. So you can go both ways and still not work out. I am now going out with a guy that I knew all the way from grade school thru high school (I had a crush on him all this time but never let it be known to him until recently). We have been talking, IM, Email and a couple dates (that lasted hours just talking). I am letting him be the one to contact me. Am I wrong? After all of this I still don't have a clue whether he is truely interested. Is he one that is afraid of hurting feelings? The last date we went on which was dinner (till they throwed us out) and we sat and talked afterwards. I so badly wanted at least a kiss, as I was leaving I gave him a kiss, nothing passionate just a nice (had a good time with you kiss). Was I wrong? Should I have let him be the one to do it. He still is contacting me, but we both have kids and things have to work around them, so we really have no choice but to spread our time out seeing each other. I know with kids you have to go slow, but I also wonder how far should I go to let him know I have feelings for him. So how is this about being totally confused about going slow in regards to a relationship. | |
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