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| the positive weight thing thread
Posted: 11/20/2008 8:14:28 PM | Since I joined POF I have lost 80 lbs and dropped from a size 20 to a size 10 jeans.
I now take a "medium" in most tops now. Still hard to believe sometimes!
(of course NONE of my old clothes fit, whole new wardrobe time...)
That said, I had absolutely no health risks or problems before, and don't now. I was in good shape then and still am now. Those issues you speak of are more related to what you EAT not what you WEIGH. Especially the diabetes thing. I know many a skinny diabetic. Diabetes is either genetic or to do with sugar/insulin control issues later in life. Really not much to do with the number on a scale.
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| the positive weight thing thread
Posted: 11/20/2008 9:01:56 PM | @Cosmo...  hats off to you....a true gentleman....you have my respect as a lady and thank you.
@doublecabin>>>It's been hard, but would have been impossible without encouragement and inspiration.
^^ amen to that...and yet so true. Encouraging words do go farther. I figured I am not 20 anymore and yes i have a few extra pounds....so what, I am healthy(passed my physcial with flying colors) and still able to do alot of things and i carry myself well. | |
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| the positive weight thing thread
Posted: 11/20/2008 9:48:43 PM | As long as people are healthy, that's what matters. I've always been a wee bit on the fluffy side (for a few years I was way too fluffy for comfort and health,) but the weight never bothered me as long as I was active and eating well. Whenever I spend too much time sitting around all day, eating crap, it doesn't matter if I'm only 10 pounds overweight, I feel like crap, physically and emotionally. Having an active lifestyle definitely makes me a healthy, if cushy, person.
I normally carry about 20-25 extra pounds with me. Thankfully, most of them are in my boobs and hips. I'm a curvy-licious chick. Men who are into that are attracted to me. Men who are not will NEVER be attracted to me even if I lost 50 pounds, because I carry whatever weight I have mostly in my boobs, butt and thighs. I could be skinny as a rail everywhere else, but I'd still be built like Mae West.
I'm not offended if that type isn't what a specific guy is into. That's just his thing. I'm not into skinny guys. It doesn't mean that I don't like them or can't think they're attractive in their own way. I'm just not gonna go all googly-eyed and mushy all over them. (Example: I think Anthony LaPaglia is way hotter than Brad Pitt.)
Give me a man with a high cuddle factor any day (but I have to be able to get my legs all the way around with comfort or it wont work.)  | |
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| the positive weight thing thread
Posted: 11/20/2008 11:07:41 PM | Dating BBW/Big & Tall like everything else is a matter of personal preference. Why do some people prefer long hair as opposed to short hair? Shaved legs or unshaven legs? Beard or clean cut?
God put us here in all different shapes, colors and sizes so that everyone can choose what's attractive to them.
We are all beautiful and attractive in someone's eyes, and not just our own. | |
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| the positive weight thing thread
Posted: 11/21/2008 8:23:54 AM | Thank you cosmo... this post was perfect timing for me. It is nice to see that there are people who understand that being overweight doesn't always mean that that person isn't fit, healthy, or gross.
To all the men and women out there who can see past a weight issue, kudos to you. Now, where can I find a man who will love me curvy and all?  | |
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ml456
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Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 106 | |
| the positive weight thing thread
Posted: 11/21/2008 9:09:01 AM | | There is nothing wrong being a BBW or being attracted to BBWs. However the attitude of SOME BBWs can be a turn off to many people. They call a man shallow or ignorant if he isn't attracted to them. Even though they have rejected men due to height, race, weight, being bald or general unattractiveness. They will call thin or athletic women arrogant, high maintenance snobby b!tches. I think these things are just as rude as calling BBWs gross, lazy, unhealthly etc. | |
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| the positive weight thing thread
Posted: 11/27/2008 5:03:38 PM | @ML456>>>the attitude
^^^ I will agree...its all about the attitude. I maybe be on the chubby side but I have a good outlook on life. My dear mother has accused me of being to friendly because I talk to anyone(not flirt)....so what...ppftt....its just my personality to be polite and nice thats all... i personally dont see anything wrong with that. I say hi and smile to everyone, dont care who they are. I have even complimented woman who look fabulous, why not...just shows I am confident in myself to do so and then i have had woman snub me, oh well, who cares... just shows how arrogant they are, not my problem. 
matter of fact, you all look fabulous today.... | |
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| the positive weight thing thread
Posted: 11/27/2008 8:00:05 PM | I would never be angry if a man wasn't attracted to me due to my weight. I would be angry if the presentation was negative though. "Ew, why are you talking to me, you ugly fatty!"
As I am a person who will go and ask for a date if I am interested, I'm used to rejection. In any event, with short, tall, fat, skinny, there's no need to be a rude jerk about it if you aren't attracted:P
It's been said before, but confidence is the key. I have received very little bad treatment because of my weight in recent years because I won't put up with it and I won't apologize for it. That and I do try to be friendly with anyone I meet.
I don't think someone should call down a thin girl either, just for being that way. Now, if she has "princess syndrome" and acts like an ass-hat, that's another story:P But that goes for us fat gals too, hehe.
Well, that's my two cents, good thread! It's nice to see positive posts regarding weight, that's for sure! | |
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| the positive weight thing thread
Posted: 11/27/2008 10:47:50 PM |
I don't think someone should call down a thin girl either, just for being that way. Now, if she has "princess syndrome" and acts like an ass-hat, that's another story:P But that goes for us fat gals too, hehe.
Exaaaaaaaaactly! lol. Hating thin people makes about as much sense as hating big, average, or any other size people. Everyone will have someone who thinks they're 'ideal'. There will always be someone in this life that is sexier, thinner, curvier, taller, shorter, etc. than me. But maybe that person that I'm thinking is 'perfect' is thinking the same thing about me! For that matter, being a jerk to anyone because of how they look is just really childish. How is that any more acceptable than being prejudiced towards people with disabilities, different races, different religions, the fact that I have green eyes, lol.
Preferences are not prejudices. If someone doesn't like me because I'm bigger, ok. They don't have to! I might not like them because they look like someone I hated in first grade....
It's too bad Cosmo isn't here to see the responses he's gotten!!! | |
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| the positive weight thing thread
Posted: 11/28/2008 11:50:31 AM | Well, i am overweight and i honestly don't care what women think, though i am honestly fed up with them saying it doesn't matter and then suddenly saying i am too ugly and not worth the time.
I am trying to lose weight for my health, i know i am a nice guy, i would treat a woman with respect and i have noticed that overweight people that lose the weight tend to be more nicer and have better personalities then the people were never overweight at all.
Just an observation. | |
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| the positive weight thing thread
Posted: 1/14/2009 11:28:52 AM | I firmly agree with we are all beautiful. But if a Man perfers his Woman to be a 12 or 14--there should be no harm in that. If he perfers to shame or to be unshaven--what is the problem?
It's all about what we are comfortable with...
I have spent my time in the past few years--trying to trim down. Not for cosmetic reasons. My weight being at a high level of 290 to 315 caused major medical problems. I had to drop enough pounds to go under the 200-lbs. But as it seems--people now have negative things to say. Some say nothing. A lady right on this sight was talking with me ( from Memphis) said that I was too small of a Man. Plus after a date and I didn't eat much--Oh my lord it was like I had commited a sin. She says--I can't date you anymore. Being healthy--I guess is basically a sin in her eyes...It seems like it's going around...
Being who you are--is what it is... | |
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| the positive weight thing thread
Posted: 1/14/2009 12:05:58 PM | Thank you for this thread. It's taken me a long time to not only accept myself as a BBW, but to actually like myself as a large woman. I guess it's because I did not start to gain weight until I was 25 years old. From age 30 to 35, I gained over 150 pounds due to being in a serious car accident. Afterwards, my mobility was severely limited because of my injuries. I had to give up my profession as a musician, which put me into a severe depression All this caused me to gain weight.
For a long time I couldn't look in a mirror, especially one that showed more than my face and shoulders. I was fat, so that meant I was ugly, too. Everywhere I turned society said so... at clothing stores, in magazines, on TV. I wasn't "normal"... I couldn't be sure I would fit in theatre seats, airplane seats, amusement park rides. People became rude, calling me names, making comments about my weight when I passed. Men broke up with me because of my weight. My ego and self esteem were shattered.
Finally, I had enough. I started getting involved with groups who were not "fat phobic". I started playing role-playing games, like Dungeons and Dragons. I joined a women's rights group. I discovered online chat. I dated people who were more interested in what I had to say, rather than my body size. I actually discovered people who were attracted to me not "in spite of" my size, but because of it, along with my intelligence and personality.
I'm now a happy, healthy, large woman. I like who I am and what I look like. I find my curves sensuous, just as much as my long hair and smooth skin.
I've learned how to accept a compliment gracefully, without suspicions of "what do they want?". I've learned to stand up for my right to eat in restaurants, shop for food or clothes, walk down the beach, or sit on a park bench, without being harrassed because of my weight. I confront people who are rude to me. I point out when someone is making a "fat phobic" remark.
I am now in much better health than I was after my accident. As such, I can do more physical activity. I have lost about 75 pounds from my top weight, but not because I was trying. Just because I was able to MOVE again. I am now very active, an orange belt in Japanese swordfighting, a Taiko drummer, and best of all, I can play piano and bass and violin again.
Most of all, I've learned to love all of me -- body, mind, and soul. | |
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| the positive weight thing thread
Posted: 1/14/2009 12:48:55 PM | Congratulations Lady Samurai. You have discovered the secret is to just enjoy life. Forget about weight and just enjoy life. It's about being a good you rather thn trying to fit into some abstract category. I love to see other women who have learned to just enjoy being themselves.
Lee, comments made by that other women are strange. As long as you are being the best you, just enjoy it. the right woman will come around. I can think that someone with a light appetite might be a challenge for me to hang around because I love to cook and watch people dig into my cooking. It wouldn't be impossible, but it would be challenging. | |
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| the positive weight thing thread
Posted: 1/14/2009 7:14:15 PM | Yup, i'll weigh in on this thread,lol.
I like big men, I really do, they are attractive to me, mind you, I like all shaoes and sizes of men, all heights, all colours, etc, i guess im just lucky to have such a large range in my preferences. im not limited, so yaaay for me!
As for the 'its unhealthy, you'll die, you'll be called a fatty, no one will ever find you attractive' brigade, they can shove it.
Dont they think that people know the risks of being very over weight? of course they do, but never the less, i like big men and big women can look so earth godessy that I love to see a woman with extra weight on her,.. something very comfy looking about it.
I'm all for people eating, and being happy, and content.
food is one of our greatest pleasures, i wont deny myself what i want to eat... and i'm glad that others enjoy it oo.
nothing wrong with it.
Let the health nazi's go bother some other thread... I like it here, its relaxing, comfy like. TDD, pops another choccie in her mouth, and enjoys the thread....
TDD. xx | |
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| i like to say something again
Posted: 1/14/2009 10:09:18 PM |
people of bigger sizes, it is dangerous to accept these added extra pounds and DO NOTHING about it! you are a risk for diabetes, incredible bad joints, and not to mention less opportunites for dating.
What about all the super skinny girls who eat crap food every day of their life and dont gain weight? You think its not doing anything wrong to their insides and their actual health. I'm not skinny and I can whoop a lot of skinny girls butts in a work out.
I like to stay fit but I like my T&A!  lol | |
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| the positive weight thing thread
Posted: 1/15/2009 2:50:14 AM | Dont have anything against overweight people or a few extra pounds..
..But when a guy on here tells me he is average..then turns up at least 5 stone heavier than he said, puffing and panting as we walk up the street...then hell no.
If you are big..fair enough.
But dont lie
And dont say you are average when you arent.
Its just gonna lead to dissapointment on both sides.
Though Id rather see a few extra pounds on someone than bones sticking out.
Very unattractive. | |
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| the positive weight thing thread
Posted: 1/18/2009 12:34:17 PM | Hi I'm 6'2" 300lbs, cycle 10 miles a day, train twice a week playing American footaball, I've played for 24 years now ! I'm a big fella! here in the UK I'm classed as morbidly obese, I should be dead! I'm not saying I'm anywhere near Casanova but I do alright for a big guy, I smile, I laugh I tell bad jokes! I have a personality.I hope and expect that the woman of the world are looking for all those attributes, ok maybe not the bad jokes! I must admit I get a lot of attention when I wear my kilt round town! one up for the big people is what I say!
John x | |
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| the positive weight thing thread
Posted: 1/18/2009 1:15:04 PM | Thanks to Cosmo for starting this thread!  I admit to having a hard time also to gaining weight from a bad work accident (hit by a car on a jobsite). But I am physically active and could not do my job if I was lazy. At times, it drives me nuts to be judged soley on my weight and not my intelligence, sarcastic wit, or accepting the entire package. I know I am a great catch, if you can handle me. So love or hate me for my curves, it does not bother me.   | |
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| the positive weight thing thread
Posted: 1/26/2009 8:43:15 AM | | It is a sad when people are judging people based on physical outlook. They are missing so much. When you look at my pictures, you will see an overweight woman. But, what else do you know and what else do you see? You bypassed that person just because he/she weighed more, or that he/or she is not fit based on what you think that a person’s appearances/frames must be either small or medium. The funny thing is that there are lots of overweight men/women who are very active. I am active. I go to the gym three times a week, and I play soccer during the summer months. I do things most people would not have thought that an overweight man/woman is unable to do. But who would have guessed that based on what you see…. Eyes can be so deceiving. Kudos, to those who take the time to really get to know someone based on personality, and attitude! If people take the time to open their eyes to the unknown, they would have seen so much beauty. I realized that people rather be miserable with someone they think fit their categories. That is the saddest part, for they are missing out on the greatest things that could have happened to them. What they do not know or understand about the strengths of someone who is BBW/BBM is the beauty that comes from within not the outside. | |
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bsg789
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Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 120 | |
| the positive weight thing thread
Posted: 1/26/2009 9:26:56 AM |
It is a sad when people are judging people based on physical outlook.
There is a difference between not being attracted to someone and judging someone. I would never assume that all fat men are lazy, unhealthy etc. But I'm generally not attracted to men who are significantly overweight. | |
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| the positive weight thing thread
Posted: 1/26/2009 9:30:17 AM | I have lost close to 50 pounds after having pituitary problems for several years, which is pretty rare and couldnt lose weight for almost 10 years. .......My perspective is that you have to be happy about yourself no matter what...My impression is that a lot of people are not happy.... | |
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| the positive weight thing thread
Posted: 1/26/2009 9:37:38 AM | "Fat in the right places" *winks* is how I'd describe myself, LOL
What a nice positive thread on this topic for once!
I am not a BBW by most standards, but no skinny stick model either, and have become comfortable in who I am over the years as some loooove it- some prefer slender women, others larger, but the one for me will definitely be charged by what I have to offer, physically as well as the rest (heart, mind, spirit). I feel sexy and some of that is my body image, but the rest is my MIND!
As a size 10/12 hourglass shaped gal I've tried fitting into the mold that some seem to prescribe to, but that's just not me. Besides, my voluptuous figure matches my vivacious personality!
It breaks my heart when loved ones put themselves down, hold themselves back, saying things like "I'm not good enough" or "I'll start looking for love once I drop 20 pounds". Well, if someone doesn't accept you where you are NOW, "as is", then are they really who you want? Hmmm... I say let's be who we are- be honest about our preferences and be OK w/ someone having different tastes without taking it so personally. In the end the "fit" finds you.
Thanks for the positive spin OP!
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| the positive weight thing thread
Posted: 2/13/2009 3:37:43 PM | | Well I'm glad I found this thread. I started out my adult life as five foot nothing barely 100 pounds . I gained and lost with each pregnancy and as a 30 something divorced mother of 4 I weighed 115 pounds by the time I was 45 it was 135 or so and when I reached 53 I had quit working two jobs running after kids and walking several miles a day had also injured my knee. I loved myself as a size 3 and I love myself as a 16.I buy clothes that flatter me and I have started walking again since my knee now allows it. I am healthy mostly and my body does what I need it to do.Takes me where I need and want to go and allows me to love . Size is relative as is everything else. I have had people who thought I was thinner and taller than I am because of how I carry myself. I like me and I get rejected becasue of my size,my color,my height.But I have never rejected myself or anyone else unless I have given them a chance . We all have something to give. | |
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| the positive weight thing thread
Posted: 10/24/2009 8:27:40 PM | | I really don't have much to say other than the fact that its always the tubbies that seem to b*tch and complain in these kind of threads. And its usually the normal stuff, like whining about thin people and how the ones that aren't chubby chasers are so shallow and ignorant..just an observation. | |
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