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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 4/8/2007 12:46:01 PM | I am asked this question all the time so it doesn't bother me too much. In fact I look at everything as a positive. This is a great compliment to the person being asked! The person asking the question is someone who is showing interest in you, wonders why you're single because they haven't seen anything wrong with you up until this point.
They are also fishing for whether you are afraid of commitment and are asking how you see yourself. Your answer could show insecurity about yourself. It could bring out stories or feelings that up until now haven't been shown. It the ultimate situation it could bring the 2 of you together and be the catalist of your strengthening relationship.
Party on! | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 4/8/2007 3:54:00 PM | Because no guy has showed up on my doorstop with a big enough diamond......
I like being single. It hasn't always been this way, but now I realize I like spending MY own money, I like making MY own decisions, I like having MY bed all to myself, I like hanging out with MY friends......
It is all about me......... | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 4/8/2007 5:11:49 PM | 'Cuz I'm not into the flies at bars. So far, most of the 'hits' I get are from creepy guys in TransAms with more interest in my breast-size (they're big, 'nuff said) and whether or not I'm charging for it (I'm not, unless you count requests for honesty, integrity compassion and commitment).
While I do enjoy much of my time alone, I would like to find someone to mesh with, to share my time, my heart, my life. But too often, I end up with 'baby-men' who can't take care of themselves (or don't want to), selfish jerks who are clueless about how I might feel about, say, racist or homophobic comments, filthpigs unclear on the concept of soap, or some similar breed of loser.
I'm a science-fiction fan. I am an artist and aspiring author. I design clothing for the subculture scenes (except the hip-hop crowd. Baggy t-shirts and low-crotch jeans aren't fashion, they're sewing mistakes. Wear yer own size!). So you can imagine that my choices aren't exactly wide, since I'm not into sports, or politics, or Type-A business personalities.
I don't care much about money- I certainly won't judge you poorly for not having any. That said, understand that I respect people who work, and take responsiblity for themselves. It doesn't matter to me if you're an executive or a garbage-man. If you work, you're cool.
Just to make the point, I'm NOT looking for someone to support me. I do that fine on my own, thank you.
So, why am I still single after something like fifteen years? I have high standards. I don't consider it to be too much to want someone who isn't a jerk, a freeloader, or a boozehound. He doesn't have to be handsome or rich, or famous. He doesn't have to be anything but a nice guy with a heart. I know they're out there, so i'll keep on fishin'
Gothchilde | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 4/9/2007 6:31:07 AM | This question is so close to the smug, intentionally spot-putting “why no children?” in all its contexts. Seems best answer is something practiced and flip, choosing the context of course – that is, using a comeback that fits the situation. Before kids my late spouse & I reluctantly tried to explain our private plans, but then realized no one actually wanted to know, they just either (1) didn’t have anything else to say, or (2) got some kind of charge out of putting us on the spot. I believe it’s the same for the “why still single” question; pre-fab responses can help one stay confident in one’s own choice. Lot’s good about being single, much good about being joined, and a great deal is fine in-between. Worst thing I ever said was to the supposed ‘friend’ who peppered me my first two years into widowhood (who seemingly couldn’t fathom my “I’m busy” response while I lost spouse, home, business, my school and worked two jobs as a single parent), “well… if you’d just stop killing them off…” cruel yes, but seemed worth halting the queries for a while.
Really enjoyed many of the responses here:
Because “I stopped rescuing the sad, unemployed, emotionally challenged."
Because “quite a few married people are single too"
As well as all the well-explained positive personal statements.
And Prolab’s (msg 429) priceless: because, “I’m pacing myself”
Wonderful | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 4/9/2007 8:45:44 AM | yesterday I was single because I wanted to be.....today I am single because I suck
....not to worry, I will be my rock'n self again tomorrow  | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 4/9/2007 6:24:55 PM | nycshakti
Throughout my 20s I wasn't actively dating or had any fulfulling long term relationships. And I never thought there was anything wrong with me because I was normally single. I was spending my time in school getting my undergraduate degree rather than worrying rather than worrying about boyfriends.
The one boyfriend I had that lasted one year was a pothead loser working as waiter in a catering hall. He had little concern for his future and I was only able to make him go to school for couple semesters. But my ex-boyfriend didn't make any serious changes in his life until his father died.
I'm 30 years old and I didn't start thinking about my biological clock until I was 29 years old. Right now I'm in a long distance relationship. Hopefully it will work out for in my favor, but if it's not meant to be I know I have other things to do with my time that worry about getting a boyfriend or getting married.
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 4/9/2007 6:38:22 PM | Good attitude.......And you know that you have many more years before you have to worry about a thing.
Many women that are healthy and in shape can enjoy a normal birth well into their 40's, so you have much time to decide on who you want, what you want, and when you want it.......
Good luck......
Just my opinion........   | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 4/12/2007 4:58:02 AM | I'm rarely asked because those who know me, know WHY I am still single ... but the coles notes version is simple ...
I have a pretty small but complex life, yet it's also quite simple and a pretty big at the same time ... see the contrast? Maybe not, but in my eyes, I haven't found that "balance" between who I want in a companion/lover/partner and if such an easy-going, open-minded person exists that would accept or could fit into my life. The search continues at a more relaxed pace ... I believe I'll find that ideal mate, I'm just less obsessed about how or when right now.
I know exactly what I want for (and need in) my life with someone else ... that often intimidates men. It's not about being in control or inflexible because that couldn't be farther from the truth in my case ... for me, it's more just "having been there , done that" so much in the past that I've fine tuned what is important to my present and future. I'm still growing everyday though and I'm not afraid to admit that ... change is reality .. and I radically accept that even when I may not like it. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 4/12/2007 9:03:36 AM | I hear you Ox...
I'm still exploring and trying to figure out how I would fit into someone else's world...my life is busy with my children and their issues. I find it hard finding friends I can trust, let alone, getting involved in a relationship. I'm not looking anymore as I believe in the laws of attraction and I know I will eventually attract what I'm looking for...I just have to keep my head on straight so I'll recognize it when it hits me!!!
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 4/12/2007 3:46:16 PM | Here, here SCK ... my favourite quote about life is as follows:
Living with integrity means not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships, asking for what you want and need from others, speaking your truth (even though it might create conflict or tension), behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values, making choices based on what you believe, and not what others believe. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 4/13/2007 6:15:26 PM | I have relatives that still ask that of me why am I still single and when am I going to settle down. Sometimes I give them a smart ass answer others I just tell it like it is. I have yet to meet the one that I want to settle down with. Yes it is a bite walking into a empty apartment/home, sleeping alone in a bed at nights, doing some things in life by yourself and feeling like a third wheel when you get together and everyone else is a married couple with kids. But other days I wouldn't trade being single for the married life.
I would much rather be single than in a bad relationship with a person. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 4/13/2007 9:54:03 PM | Cause they are all buried out back, I'm runnin out room back there tho, so I may have to keep the next one ..  | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 4/14/2007 6:41:02 AM | | ....... because you're BuXoM and BoDaCiOuS and BoOtIlIcIoUs and BoUnTiFuL........ CoNfIdEnT and soOO CoMfOrTaBlE in yourself.... it's actually quite hard to be double...... H E HE XX | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 4/15/2007 12:14:21 PM | hm,mmm it might be because I don't smoke, don't do drugs, and don't drink alcohol, and not into the intimate encounters and sometimes not easily caught  | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 4/16/2007 1:29:33 AM | What really gets me are the ones who can't understand that I'm not a major drinker.
Have you ever noticed, that if you don't do drugs or smoke, you get kudos? But if you are nearly a teetotaler; out come the wierd looks, as if to say- 'what planet are YOU from?' Maybe I should clock the next jerk who does that, it might get my point across- oh, wait, never mind- thay aren't feeling any pain. I keep forgetting booze is an anasthetic.
Prefers the virgin Shirley Temples ('cuz after she became S. T Black and joined the Republicans, she was WAY too creepy), Gothchilde. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 4/18/2007 7:18:12 AM | Because everyone except me wants kids or has them. I prefer to be child free, and people think that is weird at my age. I also am too independant for most guys, because they want to take care of a woman. I own my own house, work, go to school, and have pets. Who needs a man? Well, having one sometimes would be cool, but for the most part, I have found them to be a lot more trouble than they claim to be. I hope to find someone who really likes me the way I am, and doesn't try to change me. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 4/19/2007 12:09:56 AM | | I get asked why I haven't married anyone yet...to which I answer because I have not found anyone I wanted to marry. Same as this question...simply because you have not found anyone yet you wanted to be in a serious relationship with.....no other explanation is needed. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 4/19/2007 5:46:54 AM | Because I live in the country and no decent single women live in the country..
No woman wants to date a man from the country...
I'm trying to find a woman from the city to take me in and their not dumb...lol!!! | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 4/21/2007 8:53:49 AM | | Because I'm selective and tend to draw conclusions before they even happen. I haven't met anyone that I'm really that attracted to. | |
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