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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 10/18/2007 11:54:28 AM | | Been on my own a while now,did see someone not long ago for a short while.which ment nothing to me,which i ended and am in no rush to find mr right when the time is right it will happen x | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 10/18/2007 2:58:32 PM | | my sentiments excactly, i don't mind being single at the moment infact i'm thoroughly enjoying myself afta a 14 year relationship and then split recently from 17 months with some1 i now feel liberated. and at 34 theres plenty of time. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 10/18/2007 6:49:46 PM | | This question is HARDER to answer for person who's over 30, never been married, hasn't been in a long-term relationship in recent years and has no kids. I'd like to hear answers from people in that scenario. Sorry, but I can't relate to someone who is divorced and/or has kids. You've at least had a chance to be married and have kids. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 10/18/2007 7:37:30 PM | I think it's great when I meet a woman of my age who has decided to stay single. It tells me she had the foresight to hold off until she knew what she wanted out of life. So many women or should I say girls, feel they must jump on the Marriage bandwagon when we all know some of us don't make good parents or spouses.
I of course am a great dad and I'm sure my former wife would say I was a good husband. She on the other hand made a mistake in becoming a wife and mother at a young age.That explains why I'm single, not that I expect anyone to believe me until they know me.
I would like to make this comment though I like all women, still single, just become single or have been single for sometime, people are people and we all have good and bad aspects about us in many different ways. We can't judge someone by whether or not they have stayed single all their life, we have to judge them by how we connect with them, the chemistry between each other. I have met a good many girls here on pof. I have not met anyone I didn't like, I have made friends and one day hope to meet someone with that real connection, some one that makes me want to be more than just friends. If she just ended a relationship oh well. If she has never been in one great. The fact still remains if the chemistry is there then it will be special. | |
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Who.Me
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Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 756 | |
| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 10/19/2007 11:57:41 AM | Anzia -
I am 45 never been married....Although I do have a daughter whom I raised by myself. I was engaged once, when I was 32, but it didn't work out.
Before that and since then I just haven't met anyone I could see spending the rest of my life with. It bothered me while I was in my 30's, but being in my 40's it doesn't bother me and I'm really loving life.
Not to say that I don't want to change my last name before I die......but if not - OH WELL
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 10/19/2007 7:43:37 PM | Who. me
What a blessing that you have your daughter!
I'm not necessarily bothered by still being single, but I'm bothered by the fact that I haven't had a chance at a long-term relationship or a child. I will not have a child on my own. I don't think it's fair to the child to start with only one parent. So, in that respect, I may never have children...as well as the "Not Still Single" title.
But, you give me hope that one day I will be content with never crossing the marriage threshold. I do like my life as it is and I have to learn to accept it more fully.
Anzia | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 10/19/2007 7:51:14 PM | | Nope. You aren't the only one. Didn't you know...if you are over a certain age _____ (fill in the blank with an age) you must be defective if you are unmarried/unattached/divorced/etc. We are all supposed to be coupled up, with 2.5 kids, a dog and a house with a white picket fence. You know, this is America where everyone tells us what we are supposed to be 24/7. For a country that is supposed to be free, we have an awful lot of people out there imposing their opinions on others. I'll get married when and if I darn well feel like it, thank you very much. ;-) | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 10/19/2007 10:37:23 PM | | I am sure it can be a pain hearing that especially if you take it the wrong way. Sometimes people are surprised that you are single because they feel you are a catch and should otherwise be with someone it can be seen as a veiled compliment. I've gotten it a few times since I came out of a long term relationship in 2005. For me the answer to the question is simply I am very focused on my career and work, and it is very difficult for me to devote time to a person who is not going to recognize that my work and career can sometimes come before them. It is why that 2005 relationship ended and why I am single now, recent success in my work is going to make sure I have all the time in the world for such pursuits so it isn't a big deal. Not everyone is as patient as you or I are, just stay focused on your goals and achieve them as you plan to, try not to be dissuaded by the comments of others as long as you are happy with where you are, that is all that matters. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 10/20/2007 1:24:35 PM | I am still single as I am doing a lot of things for myself such as goals that I have for my life.
I am also single by choice. I rather be single than be mixed up in a miserable relationship.
I have not met the right man who fits even just a bit of what I am looking for. Brains, a good heart, and lastly some signs of a good sense of humor in addition to also being able to handle my sense of humor. I am looking for a man with substance. So I figure he will show up someday soon. Hopefully before I am 40.  | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 10/20/2007 1:29:22 PM | After my last (only, to be honest) LTR ended, I tried dating, and found that the women I was meeting seemed more interested in playing games than in meeting that “one”. I gave up after not too many disappointments to focus on more gratifying pursuits. I still find that most women are interested in playing games, although as the years tick by, many of the women my age begin to focus on careers, and a good few on their families.
I once declared that there was no such thing as a “single” woman. Even the ones who claimed to be would always have a few guys they were stringing along. I wasn’t interested in entering a contest then and I’m still not. I have a suspicion that I will be a bachelor until very late in life, if not for it’s entirety. After all, who wants to play a game they don’t have any chance of winning?
Is that defeatist or am I on to something? | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 10/20/2007 1:38:24 PM | | the reason why im single is,woman have kids by other blokes,their always a constant reminder of what they could of had,youll never win the kids over, or always be second to the children,no matter how hard you try,or their headf....d,answers on apostcard to any alternative reason. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 10/20/2007 4:24:31 PM | Anzia post 753 -the single and never married crowd
I have the same 101 reasons listed already. The right one hasn't come, I was focused on my career, at least I haven't been stuck in a unhealthy relationship, the timing in our lives was off, blah, blah, blah... Somtime it is circumstance. Sometimes we just blame circumstance.
The following two are all me and I decided to own up for my own benefit a couple years ago. Now that I have I find a lot of relationships with friends, family, etc have improved. Would the outcome of being single be differnet? I don't know. I know I'm happier with me.
1. There were times I didn't live to up being the guy that the girl I would marry would want to be around. I've also never been one to be in a relationship to be in one. That left me not dating at times in my life.
In the last couple of years I've changed my ways in some areas of my life. It is
in the last couple of years that I have begun to meet women who have the values
that could keep me a life time. That makes me closer to finding "the one".
2.There have been times I was too wrapped up "in the name of independence" proving that I didn't need anyone to be able to be happy. During those times I can look back and see where I didn't let people in who were simply offering friendship.
I still like my independence. I have learned/learning to recognize a true gesture of
friendship. I've also gotten more confident in my independence in that I recognize
I don't lose independence by allowing somone in. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 10/20/2007 7:41:32 PM | Prince? (Formerlysomeother name):
Thanks for the info. We have a lot in common. For years I strove to do everything myself. I refused help from anyone, but in my early 30's, I realized that we're in this world together and I allowed people to help me. It was the most amazing revelation! People could help and I did not feel weak. With 3 older brothers, I always felt like I had something to prove. In a way I did prove something, I guess to myself. I proved that a woman could take care of herself. I have a steady job, a car and a house. I enjoy taking care of myself, but I'd like someone so we could take care of each other.
I did work two jobs for many years. Maybe I was so busy working that I let opportunities slip by when it came to relationships....NAW!...the right one didn't come along. In any case, here I am, a 39 year old single woman.
Good luck to you formerly! | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 10/21/2007 1:33:00 PM | not really sure why i am still single...seems time went by too fast while raising children and working....and now here i sit 42 and still single...most days i dont mind it at all...but then there are those days when you wonder what you might be missing...oh well hey life goes on and if its meant to be then it wont matter if im looking or not...it will happen...but hey hope it happens before i turn 60, that being said...lol...i still have a few years left before i really ask myself...that question....nice to know there are lots of us around.. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 10/21/2007 9:20:54 PM | | I love your comment. and yes its soo true,people think that just because your over 30 and single somethings wrong? Well yes it is something wrong, no men who want a good woman. Majority of Men seem to just want sex and thats it!. No commitments. So my self being the smart woman i am, isnt falling for that.I know what I want and what Im worth. If being single over 30 is saying to the world "somethings wrong with me"then be it. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 10/21/2007 10:06:55 PM | Being single is not a curse.
I have waited 32 years of my life for the right person to come into my life, why would I hurry now?
I know I know people are wondering, why the hell I would be on a site like this looking for "Long Term" if I enjoy being single.
My answer to that is simple.
I love the benefits of being single in the sense that I can honestly take all the time I need to find someone who I am completely compatible with and not settle. I can take the time to find someone in which my lifestyle compliments theirs, and vice versa.
I am also in a position in which I can set personal goals and accomplish them which would assist me in being a better partner with my ideal partner. For example... right now I am reducing some debt, which in turn allows me to purchase a new house, travel on more vacations and have a reduced stress load.
I don't know how many times I have been asked by friends and family "why are you still single", and that question has had many different contexts however when the time is right, those questions will stop being asked, and I look forward to hearing the question "Where did you meet such an amazing woman".
The best things in life are worth the wait, the hard work and agony that it took to accomplish your goal. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 10/22/2007 6:40:52 AM | Wow.. this thread is still going..
I've decided that I could probably come back to this thread every other week and come up with another reason (which was recently learned) as to why I'm still single. The newest being that most men I know, can't even put up fence correctly!!! | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 10/24/2007 7:17:38 PM | I have to reply to your post! I get asked all the time -- why are u still single!
I am single by choice -- not by lack of choice! I am a very focused, independant and confident woman and as much as men say they want that -- I have found that they find that intimidating. (most men anyways!)
I am not looking for Mr. Perfect -- just Mr. Right For Me. And like you - i hope to find that before i hit 40. You figure there are a million single guys out there and it only takes one to be in a relationship. So i ask -- why is it so hard? | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 10/24/2007 9:01:13 PM | wow!! as I have read through many of these responses I have found out a lot about all of you and of course, about myself.
I am saying that I am still single due to circumstance. I can't put up a fence correctly, as I know it now, but I can build you a custom scoot or even most of a house.
I agree that there is no one that is perfect. But that "Mr/Mrs right for me" thing, I have concerns about. It seems that everyone is looking for the "right" for them type of person. But what if your ideas of who is right for you, are not entirely correct?
I am not so "concerned" about this whole "right" thing for myself. It is the others that I am thinking about. Meaning: that those out there that I see and come across are not open minded enough. People seem to have these ideals in their heads to whom is "right" for them that they may actually miss the one that truely is. Only because they don't quite meet those expectations completely.
I could be way off with this. Let me know... | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 10/25/2007 2:51:17 AM |  hi thought i would mail you hun as i too get the same you are not on your own as i have been a singel mum for many years and just turned 40 in july and men dont beleave me when i say i have been on my own for many years then thay say to me why is there something wrong with me and tha hurts when thay say that as there is ya as i was hit by a drunk driver many years ago so now i carnt walk far are do any heavey lifting any more but i try and live my life to the full but people just see my stick and not me .love from boops good luck hun ya  | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 10/25/2007 4:30:33 AM | Oh no! The why are you still single thread!!!!
Lets see, I was with the same woman for 14 years, 11 of which we were married. We had an excellent marriage for so long that when it do go to crap, it was quite the shocker.
Anyways, I'm single because my wife went gay on me. Fell in love with a woman, and that's where she resides now.
I'm too picky and old to just settle for the first piece to drop in my lap. I went through a ton of women when I was first divorced, and now I'm just kind of stalling. I'd like to meet the woman, but I can't imagine finding one at this point in my life, other than someone to just date, play with, and pass the time with. I'm open to the idea, but not open enough to really seek it out.
My experience thus far has been that the majority of women (and men, don't get me wrong) within my age range who are single, are single for a reason. Not all bad, but none good for me, right?
Either they are overly baggage inundated, too happy in their single life, flat out crazy, too needy, or a myriad of other reasons... And lets face it, I'm the same way - I don't trust women, which is unfair to women, but something as traumatic as divorce, especially in circumstances that seemed bullsh*t to begin with, really adds to the non-trust issue.
Yeah.
I know, it's blanket statement, and I know I shouldn't project my issues onto other people - but as we all know, its MUCH easier to say than to do. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 11/3/2007 12:16:07 PM | I suspect this is a common question for over 30 singles.
I hear it all the time from co-workers at my job or old friends I run into from time to time.
For me after seeing so many friends married after high school or right after graduating college, staying married a couple years having 3 kids and getting a divorce, and sometimes even two divorces, I'm pretty happy I'm still single.
For the last several years I've mostly focused on myself, and have not taken the time to get know very many new friends due to being very busy, and a variety of other things.
It is my thinking if more time is taken in the getting to know phase of the relationship it will lead to a stronger and hopefully longer relationship. To many folks are simply in a rush for everything. I'm hoping for more.
Frank | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 11/3/2007 1:24:27 PM | Mainly because I am alone but not lonely.
Sure I miss the companionship and the scent of a woman but there is a vast difference between getting one's rocks off (that's easy ) and finding someone to actually share time with.
I like the new me since my divorce but this time I would rather take ny time and remain focused.
Women are like flowers they smell great but I don't feel the need to pick the first one who shows me her petals. | |
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