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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 1/16/2008 7:04:58 PM | "I am 45, never married, not even a scare. No kids, no baggage, no dama..."
Poor people thinking this way..."Baggage"? My Child is the Highes Happiness I have ever felt and feel in my life. I have a good feeling about any children, but a special one about my - it's unexplicable, superior feeling of the life infinity. Some people are living "without drama", but they will never get such experience, God's given happiness to be a Parent. Love and happy family will give a life to happy and healthy children, they will grow up as happy people and strong nation... Country will not need immigrants to keep an economy afloat and you will not feel sometimes like "minority". Everything that is alive makes couples to continue self existance, otherwise noone will remember about you... If someone from my parents would think this way - me and my child would n't exist...
It's hard to find right person in society now - no doubts, the bigger appreciation will bring your children to you in future. Everyone has to make atmost efforts for it's own happiness, not only for bargain career. Career and money it's just a tool but not a reason of life. There is nothing worst in the life than to be a single (for me at least), though I am now again. I respect everyones rights, wishes and opinions.
This is just my point. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 1/16/2008 8:30:01 PM | | You mean I wasn't supposed to bite their heads off after mating? Great! Now you tell me. That mustt be why I am still single. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 1/16/2008 8:59:10 PM | My ex decided her life would be better without my affection and hoped to find a man with more financial security, then we split up, now I'm single.
Yes, that is basically the entire story condensed to it's essence.. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 1/17/2008 3:01:50 AM | ^^^^ I like honest answers. Mine is roughly the same.
I'm really glad I am meeting more people at places like PoF so I can continue to grow the relationships facet of my life.
I haven't read every post, but it is amazing how people will make up stuff to cover up how disappointed they feel to be single (and on this site fishing). They create a patch-up rationale for pain relief and face-saving. These are "limiting beliefs". They've lost the will to keep changing themselves to attract people who they know will allow them to be happier. Some people confuse stagnation for individualism. They detest people suggesting that there is room for improvement. "why should I change for someone else?". You should change for yourself - for the purposes of the path you have set for yourself. But just remember to build into that path the enriching provision for synergy and outward bound unselfish love. Be confident enough to deviate from your path every now and then so you can remain free. Learn from others and keep tweaking you path/ideal. Have fun in the process. Don't let goals become comfort blankets for avoiding more disappointment. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 1/17/2008 6:17:11 PM | I feel like you blame me for what's happend with you. Sorry, but I am not a God. The life given to anyone is just a test, term to learn the "lessons". How well we will study them just depend on us. We ommit errors and we have to correct them as soon as possible. The most important thing (for me) is to understand why I have got any punishment (like in school). My next life will depends on how do I carry my own carma on now. Don't blame someone else, just try to be strong. I have to work it out those my errors in this life cause I do not want them to pass over to my next life. I do not want to go further into philosophy or religion (I am actualy go to church very rare) cause you want material resposnse, moreover anyone can not be agreed with all above.
Just taking into consideration of those personal circumstances here on forum, I would tell that"existnace determine mentality" (or mind of the people). This is actualy from materialistic philosophy again, society and government who is realy responsible for what's happend with the families and why people prefear to be alone (that is unnatural). I suppose that case when woman takes everything from man and goes away to look for better "opportunity" is a major between the cases of separations. Man knows that can be in such situation at any moment: lost of income, job, health, whatever that affect material side of the life. Woman goes away, takes everything and childrens, leaves a man to work the rest of his life for her who left him at the difficult moment of his life... How would anyone feels about it..? Who wants it?... Rsponse - Nobody..! That's real reason why nobody want to make family, though woman and man give a word to God (in church) to be together whatever happends, but it never works sometimes. People break any promises easyly, especialy when money smell appear (in many cases it just illusion, but the prise to pay for them is very high, because the children's life breaks in half too, childrens have to live in love between mom and dad). If the government and society will change the rules, demografic and cultural situation will change immidiately. Male dominants in nature always. If society trys to change the natural way of things - expect the troubels: shortage of work forces, economy down, no money for pensions and social programs, etc. But it is just a beginning. "Snow ball" will increase all the way.
Natural laws are stronger the artificials, they will dominant anyway early or later. The only thing left is the people - who suffers. I can continue an continue, but I suppose everybody knows that... | |
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| Random chance to meet right fit
Posted: 1/17/2008 7:51:00 PM | I am realizing that meeting the elusive "right" person or so called "soulmate" is really a matter of pure luck and chance in life. I work a lot and travel a lot and do not like meeting women in bars or night clubs although I do like to dance. Also, since I am not a big fan of dating single mothers or obese women, that drastically reduces the available pool of eligible single women under 40 for me to date and possibly hit it off well with.
But thats fine because I am building my happiness one day at a time and my fortune in life.
If you are unhappy inside, you can never be truly happy in any kind of relationship. | |
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icky1
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Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 907 | |
| Random chance to meet right fit
Posted: 1/17/2008 8:17:21 PM | | mixxalot what you said about dating single wome you will find are alot better than you think. i was with my x for 14 years i met her with 2 children who were 18 months and 16 weeks old, that never phased me whatsoever. yes you are right in saying it reduces your chances of dating a woman with kids. we are the 1s who give these single women children so you cant afford to be picky and choosy. just remember you date the woman not the children. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 1/17/2008 8:19:22 PM | I chose to stay single a long time ago, I don't regret it. I have had a couple of long relationships - just never felt I needed a bill of sale. To each their own I say. | |
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| The problem with dating single mothers
Posted: 1/17/2008 8:29:59 PM | | For me has been that you always come second in the woman's life because her focus in on taking care of her kids from past relationships. Nothing wrong with that and I advocate that a woman be a good mother to her children but it does make it a special challenge and takes a special kind of man who can understand and accept that type of relationship. I have dated single mothers in the past and it was a major hassle for me. | |
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icky1
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Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 910 | |
| The problem with dating single mothers
Posted: 1/18/2008 12:02:50 AM | | can i ask what the major hassle was because 1 brought 2 of her kids up from babies and its not been a problem. they are now 16 and 17. also in a relationship with a woman you still dont come first. you put the woman first everytime, so when she has kids as you know they are priority. nothing wrong with that | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 1/18/2008 5:06:30 AM | 2067alex said:
...I suppose that case when woman takes everything from man and goes away to look for better "opportunity" is a major between the cases of separations. Man knows that can be in such situation at any moment: lost of income, job, health, whatever that affect material side of the life. Woman goes away, takes everything and childrens, leaves a man to work the rest of his life for her who left him at the difficult moment of his life... How would anyone feels about it..? Who wants it?... Rsponse - Nobody...
Everyone has a story to tell. I started a thread for women called "who stole your dreams". One of the ladies started the same thread for guys. Maybe you should share your ideas there and tell us who stole your dreams.
I will respond to your concern.
The back seat of my car has two bags of xmas presents for my 3 yo son and my 5yo daughter. my parents traveled 1000 miles to come see them and brought gifts from my extended family. They haven't seen their only grand children for a year. The government makes it legal for my wife to prevent me from seeing my kids for months at a time with no reason and no cause. I rang up the police to assist in delivering xmas pressies, but they would not help. my daughter had her fifth birthday last friday and I got to speak to her on the phone for 11 mins before being cut off. I left a 5 year secure high-paying job where I was respected in order to be close to my kids - yet I haven't seen them for 2 months. I have to start from scratch with no money. All this while dealing with such severe depression that my adrenal and thyroid glands went into 1 stage of exhaustion. My response was to get testes, get medicated (no anti-depressants) and get up at 4:30am in the morning for a 2 hour walk.
What is the point of all this?
The point is that I am not a product of my nature and nurture. I am not simply the sum of my circumstance. between stimulus and response is a space, in this space is the power to choose your response. In those choices lie your freedom and happiness.
Choosing happiness for me is now more important than ever, because I want my kids to look up to me when I do get to see them again. I want them to see a peaceful and happy person. Not a bitter and jaded, broken down person. I choose to have all aspects of my life in healthy functioning order - including companionship. If one woman cannot appreciate all I have to give, then I will find someone who can.
I recommend you read Stephen Covey's literature - especially the seven habits.
who stole your dreams? I'll give you a hint... begins with the letter "I" | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 1/18/2008 12:30:41 PM | | I am new at this, I hope I do it right. I am still single because along time ago I used bad judgement in choosing my husband, and father of my children. The one guy said about how he doesn't date women with kids. I am here to tell you that we make good women. We have learned to overcome all the obstacles that are put in front of us on a daily basis. Yes my children come first, but a good man can penetrate a womans heart, and that man will never feel as though he is second, because he will never make the situation that way. I am single because now it is hard finding a man that has the same goals, standards, morals, and love of god,(not in that order), but I am a hopeless romantic I know that love is out there waiting for me. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 1/18/2008 6:47:10 PM | "...The government makes it legal for my wife to prevent me from seeing my kids for months at a time with no reason and no cause. I rang up the police to assist in delivering xmas pressies, but they would not help. my daughter had her fifth birthday last friday and I got to speak to her on the phone for 11 mins before being cut off..."
I am realy sorry about this situation. This is looks t me as human's rights violation like? In such case "man's" rights. Childrens needs attention 50/50 mom and dad. If the government prevent it, they just make worst for next generation. Decision to take childrens from one of the parents or limit in access - this is terrible. In my case, I can see my child whenever I want, thanks to God my ex-wife realize that woman only can not give to a boy all necessary to grow as a man (though attempted to press on me, but my child never gave her to separate us).
I lived in Latin America for 7 years, inspite of troubles, economical difficulties, etc. families do not divorce so easy like in Canada just because both of parents have same responsibilities and same rights on property, childrens, etc. This factor keeps families strong, cause everyone knows that separately none from them will be able give a chiled what is necessary in all respects. Exception is Brazil, where in some areas femals more than males 5-to-1 and even more (upto 20-to-1 as I heard). That's why brazilian womans like more foreigners, who didn't live in such ratio environment. But anyway respossibilities and rights are equals.
Actualy, I can't tell that have lost my dream, I just haven't got it yet. Even if I will never met a woman of "my dream", I have a child of my Dream, it more important for me than personal ego. I even didn't think to keep anyone responsible for whatever, even governments or societies... They are just consequences of our behaviour. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 1/18/2008 6:58:08 PM | | Nobody actaly asking who wants and who don't. When ppl will be made in lab so they could select. While we born in natural way, everyone has to follow the rules. If someone are not- it's against the Nature, but still upto you. Seems to me it's looks like a "fashion" taken from the "empty contain"magazines. I do not mind, everyone has it's own opinion, but do you feel something wrong that I said? | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 1/18/2008 10:42:20 PM | My oldest daughter says that I am too picky!!
I know what I want deep down and am not willing to just compromise to a certain degree. I am single again not by choice would like to be married again one day there are just so many frogs to kiss!! Rather live this life then to live a miserable one with someone who is not my equal. | |
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| Work
Posted: 1/20/2008 4:47:10 PM | I travel and work a lot so I hardly have time now to go out and meet someone special. I guess that I am at a point now
in my life almost 40 that I can enjoy my company and friends and have stopped looking for "Miss Right". The goal is to become financially secure and retire in next 10 years then I can start a little home based business while living in the south pacific having a nice villa and coffee shop by the ocean.
It is worth it- I make a lot more $$$ traveling than if I worked in a cubicle. And less politics more fun. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 1/21/2008 8:08:30 PM | | There are a lot of reasons I'm still single. Part of it is just plain pickiness: I set high standard for my mates. The other problem is that when I do meet a girl that I really like, I "fall in love" and become a ****ing lap dog. Until then, I'm a confident attractive guy. I don't have much of a problem meeting women or getting dates, it's just getting past that three or four month threshold when either I become unbearable, or she becomes unbearable (usually for the same reason I'm prone to become unbearable). It's disgusting!!! | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 1/23/2008 9:08:32 AM | Well lots of reasons.
My last two relationships were crap and so I had to end them prematurely (LOL I just hope my ex doesn't see this... She's on this dating site too  ). Of course, it takes two to tango and I'm not saying that they were to blame 100%, but it made me aware that the only person that can make me REALLY happy is me. Having a sexi woman on my arm could only cause me more problems (such as damaging my wallet!) than answers to my Life.
So I'm on that Life building quest at the moment. Changing my career direction and seeking to do things that I've always wanted to do. And then, when I'm happy and contented with my Life again, I guess I'll start seriously looking.
I'm not ruling anything out however, if I meet a nice girl then who knows... But bottom line, I'm happy being single for the time being as I sort my Life out. Oh... and since I'm not desperately looking at the moment, then that does make me quite picky too. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 1/23/2008 9:16:29 AM | | Yeah I'd like the answer to that question too... why AM I still single? How bout these guys get to know me and enlighten me.... | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 1/23/2008 9:36:32 AM | I don't think I've ever bothered to answer that question to anyone. My parents used to needle me about it but got tired of me never giving an answer.
I want to thank the POF  for loaning me some great comebacks now.
 bye everyone
So why are all you folks single still?
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deni30
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Joined: 12/11/2007
Msg: 921 | |
| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 1/23/2008 9:37:42 AM | Thinking we KNOW what we are looking for may be the biggest mistake. Know what you don't want- and be open to the rest.
He/she might just be what you didn't know what you were looking for. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 1/23/2008 12:11:18 PM | I hear it a bit as well and ultimately, its not so much a conscious decision to be single but rather, no one special has come along in a while.
There's nothing 'wrong' with you at all! Life and love is different for everyone! | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 1/23/2008 5:22:43 PM | I am single for many reasons I guess.
1. I just don't see opportunity in my everyday life. Asking a girl for her number in public places just doesn't seem right. You don't know if they are single or not is the main thing. When I was younger I made the mistake of asking a girl who was under age for her number. Age is sometimes not easy to distinguish.
2. I work in a lab, and I don't meet many women there.
3. I have standards. I know what I like, and what I don't like. I have a lot to offer, and I want to find someone that brings a lot too. Not materialistically, but emotionally,mentally,spiritually, and physically)
I am single by choice, I don't want to be in a relationship for the sake of being in a realionship. Good things are worth waiting for.
That's my two cents
Eric | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 1/23/2008 5:33:06 PM |
The point is that I am not a product of my nature and nurture. I am not simply the sum of my circumstance. between stimulus and response is a space, in this space is the power to choose your response. In those choices lie your freedom and happiness.
Choosing happiness for me is now more important than ever, because I want my kids to look up to me when I do get to see them again. I want them to see a peaceful and happy person. Not a bitter and jaded, broken down person. I choose to have all aspects of my life in healthy functioning order - including companionship. If one woman cannot appreciate all I have to give, then I will find someone who can.
Mr.SnapHappy, I concur.
When my husband left me (for another woman), I initially disintegrated. I was a big freaking mess for months.
But my children needed me, particularly my then 7-year old son. It was important that my children have the benefit of a strong, healthy mother, both mentally and physically.
So I picked myself up, brushed myself off, and said this to myself: "Well, if my husband doesn't want me, someone else will."
And someone else does. My current relationship is the best I have ever had. If my husband had not left me, I would not be with my kindred spirit today.
Isn't life strange? | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 1/23/2008 10:58:53 PM | I will be 39 in a few weeks and I'm still single. I have seen many married men and what they have to deal with. I just don't want to be bossed around and it seems most women boss men around. My sisters are both married and they are bossy and usually they get their way. I've seen countless men doing stupid things for their wives. I mean doing something thoughtful is nice but these women were just too picky.
There is nothing wrong with you, just the right woman hasn't come along. Who says you have to be married by ....................30.....35 or whatever? | |
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