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Myself, for example; I'm not some hot guy with the washboard abs and the perfect smile or anything of the sort - yet some women find me absolutely 'hot'. Whereas other women find me quite the opposite.

Some find my personality to be an incredible and wonderfully attractive part of my self, whilst others can't stand me.

I've also found that when I was searching high and low for someone to love and cherish, I was at an impasse. I could not find anyone who suited me or found me suitable. As soon as I stopped 'trying' to find that special someone, the opportunities have become much greater.

I think that's really the key: Desperation scares the holy hell out of people, man and woman alike. When you feel unworthy, you act unworthy. We all need a dose of self pride with an equal part of humility.

I think I would absolutely settle down now if I came across the right woman. But I'm neither seeking her nor blocking her from my life. If she comes, she comes. If not, I'm still ok on my own. I would like to meet someone and have something build, instead of seeking out a relationship. If something happens, let it grow, instead of trying to force it to happen. Know what I mean, slick? :)

"Soulmate" theory is for sentimental mush-brained teenage kids. Real people know that human relationships are not found, they are built.

The header question is so "off base." Anybody who asks "Why are you still single?" is making an assumption - that there is something that needs to be explained if you are single. The reality is that there is nothing wrong with being single. Some people prefer to be single. There is no law that says you need to be hooked up all the time. The mating urge is simple biology, and some of us are grown up to be human beings with brains, not just animals.

Wow, since last I've posted in this thread it would appear even more people have started their self bashing and low self esteem displays.

Fact: Any man or woman can find a woman or man to fall in love with, period.

For those of you who call yourselves unattractive and say things like "Nobody could ever love my ugly self". Have you walked down the street and paid attention?

You mean by paying attention to look if anyone notices you or act if they find you attractive?

Yes I have, and it's never happened, not just on the street, but in supermarkets, at work, at the pub, everything. But oh yeah, there's been plenty of times where I'll get dirty looks when I'm on the street or 'dissed', yes, I'm talking about girls here.

That is simply not true, and knowing this has nothing to do with low self esteem. Some of us were not born to attract anyone.

Yes I have, and it's never happened, not just on the street, but in supermarkets, at work, at the pub, everything. But oh yeah, there's been plenty of times where I'll get dirty looks when I'm on the street or 'dissed', yes, I'm talking about girls here.

Ross PK

Some of us were not born to attract anyone.

You mean by paying attention to look if anyone notices you or act if they find you attractive?

Yes I have, and it's never happened, not just on the street, but in supermarkets, at work, at the pub, everything. But oh yeah, there's been plenty of times where I'll get dirty looks when I'm on the street or 'dissed', yes, I'm talking about girls here.

No sir, I mean paying attention to all the couples out there in the world. EVERYONE, and I mean EVERYONE has opportunities and chances to find and experience love. It's up to YOU to take those chances.

What I gather you're saying, from this post, is that you have never loved or been loved in your entire 32 years of life? And I mean aside from family and friends. You have never been in love with a woman and had her love you back? Ever?!

Because if you have, then you've just proved my point. You may think you're worthless to the opposite sex, but it's simply not true. Like I said before, I've met people that I would never imagine could find love even in the lowest of places, only to find they are happily married or in love AND loved back.

And there is some sort of low self esteem issue here. You may not feel low self esteem about your body (since you work out frequently, as your profile states) but you definitely have low self esteem about your chances to love and be loved.

I'm not accusing you of anything here, my friend, so please don't take anything here as inflammatory, but man, really, desperation and a feeling of unworthiness will shine through whatever masks you may choose to wear. And yet, even so, there are some who may find these things endearing or attractive.

Wah. Yes, it can't be that attitude of yours, it must be looks...personally if a guy is smokin hot but has an attitude like this, it just cancels out the looks. It's VERY unattractive to do the "woe is me" thing - most of the time, but when it comes to dating - especially.

Can I say something? I'd like to call bluff. For those who are convinced that they are so repulsive and unloveable that no one will ever want them...why are you really here? If you're really looking for dates here, then even you don't really believe that crap and you're too dark to entertain - if you're not here looking for dates, then you're fishing for compliments with reverse psychology, which means you're a bottomless pit. Neither make you a catch. People want dates, not social worker cases.

Can you say "self fulfilling prophecy"?? Maybe if you think you're useless, people believe it. If you do, why wouldn't people who don't know you? After all you know you better than complete strangers - so they sort of have to take your word for it.

If you really believed it was hopeless, you'd have put it to rest and found something else to do. There'd be no point in discussion. JMO

Your correct and if anyone says differently they don't know what they are talking about.

No offense but it seems as though you're just imagining things as I don't have any attitude and there is no 'woe is me' thing, I'm just stating facts. I've accepted the situation a long time ago, and I feel pretty happy right now.

Lol, who has said they're repulsive? You're the only one who is talking about repulsiveness right now.

I'm here because I like to talk on the forums, and I don't mind the idea of making friends with anyone.

Don't know what makes you think I must be fishing for compliments if I'm not here for dating. I already know I look good on my photo's and I like myself as a person, I don't really need anyone else's approval.

Seriously, I don't know how you've got the worthless thing, and all the other things that you've been talking about from a few of the things that I've said on here, but it's like you've taken something very simple, and complicated it into something else entirely.

If talking about my situation is not putting it to rest, then so be it, but like I've said I've accepted the situation a long time ago.

Oh, ok then nevermind - let me rephrase. With the exception of you and a couple others - almost all others who talk like this are actually doing it out of self pity. However, it does come across as negative and self pity - most who hear it won't know the difference.

If you're happy, then that's cool - it's odd that you'd say anything if you don't really care either way...most wouldn't even address it.

Because it comes across that way - as you can see, I am not the only one who took it that way - we won't be the last to do so either. Maybe it's safer not to comment at all if you don't want to be misunderstood...but it's bound to happen, especially in a forum where people can't determine context.

It's just odd that you would make a comment in that way about something you're not only ok with, but happy about. My bad, it must be the way it was written.

Really?

I don't see why it should be odd for someone to say that.

Lol, safer yeah, but I doubt I'll stop making the comments I make.

Again, really?

I can't see why it should be so odd.

Hey I've just noticed you've called yourself uglybetty, that too could make people believe you're being the same as me.

Because it wouldn't normally dawn a person to mention/address it, unless it bothered them. Of course, unless the thread was about how happy we all are to be single, then it would make sense.

Well then, prepare to be misunderstood a lot and have conversations like this, that's all.

It just is

- I am sure you're aware that people are going to react the way they do, but you still do, so I guess that's ok with you. Personally, I wouldn't if I thought it would come across that way if it kept happening - eventually I'd learn from it and stop making comments (unless I was inviting/accepting of those comments).

Offline, I don't call myself anything

- my name's not even Betty, naturally. And unless you've never been near a TV at all in the last couple years, it should be fairly easy to pick up on (I would hope).

Yes, I'm well aware that ugly betty is a tv show, but the tv show is called ugly betty for a reason, the girl called betty is supposed to be ugly, so, for someone to use that as a username could easily make themselves come across as though they think they're ugly, either that or the TV show is their favorite show. But to be honest, reading that as someone's username, to me anyway, does come across more in the 'i think i'm ugly' kind of way, just like how it would do if they called themselves 'uglyduckling'. It shouldn't, but there you go.

But - I am not posting about it in threads in response to anything or trying to get anyone's attention with it. It's just a name, unless you like reading into something that's not really relevant to what's being discussed. When I start posting in threads and referring to it a lot, then I'd be open to interpretation - most people don't pay much attention to screennames in forums, nor should they - especially in my case.

P.S. "Uglyduckling isn't a show, so if someone called themselves that it might be more about their personality. But honestly, who cares?