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| so, why are you still single? Posted: 5/13/2008 5:42:58 PM | | im starting to think theres really something wrong with me.. i never get asked why im single/divorced.. i am having one heck of a time trying to hook up with someone,to the point im about to give up and just stay single... | |
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| so, why are you still single? Posted: 5/13/2008 8:36:51 PM | | I'm still single because I choose to be. At this time in my life I'm not about to just settle for anything less than someone who completely knocks my socks off. It may take a long time, but it will be worth the wait. | |
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| so, why are you still single? Posted: 5/13/2008 10:32:07 PM | | You have good times and bad, single some days and others not single. Just take each day as it comes and see where it takes you. Try not ponder upon it to much. | |
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| so, why are you still single? Posted: 5/14/2008 12:15:04 AM |
You have good times and bad, single some days and others not single. Just take each day as it comes and see where it takes you. Try not ponder upon it to much.
Well said.
I hate being single, but for the first time in my adult life, I am happily single. I am definately lonely, but not enough to settle like I did once before.
I work in a restaurant and all of the waitresses adore me, and flirt with me. Even the married ones talk to me sweetly, and within spiritually allowable respect and range; nothing that would offend their mates.
Despair has a scent, and others can smell it unconsciously, and that shuns them away. Find love within yourself, fall in love with yourself, and then watch other receptive hearts begin to flock.
I've learned at a young age that love finds us, and then we must cultivate.
Best wishes OP, God Bless Scott | |
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| so, why are you still single? Posted: 5/14/2008 3:27:03 AM | I've never really been bothered at being single. I can go years without the love of a good women and not have it bother me in the slightest. However I came out of a 6 month relationship a few months back and now realise at the age of 33 I really do need the love of a good woman! Time isn't on my side and I don't want to grow into an old single lonely man.
Hopefully I will find somebody willing to give a shy 33 year old a chance to show what I am about. | |
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| so, why are you still single? Posted: 5/14/2008 6:00:37 AM | | There is no point living a life looking for someone. Won't get anyone that way. Live your life the best you can and that will start to attract people . . . . I hope. I do like the single life but I wouldn't mind spending time with someone who I am close to, you know? | |
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| so, why are you still single? Posted: 5/14/2008 8:29:27 PM | devilwentdowntogeorgia!
I'm single because I don't want to say, "I do"..... Rather have a girlfriend then a soul mate because soul mates are divorcing each other all the time...Not sure if I believe in such a thing."
You're just saying this because well, you haven't met ME.
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| so, why are you still single? Posted: 5/16/2008 12:51:02 AM | Awhile back I posted in this thread that I was still single because of a lot of different reasons. But Im beginning to realize the real reason is just that Im refusing to settle anymore. Even though I despise being single, I want to find someone that completely just knocks me over with the kind of person she is. Inside & out. And I just havent met her yet.
In the meantime, I guess Im more contented being single than I originally thought. As has been posted previously, I have good days and bad days...there are times when I feel as though the entire world is passing me by and Ill be alone forever. But then there are days when I really relish the ability to do what I want, when I want, without having to explain myself to anyone or feel guilty about it. So, maybe Im learning to enjoy being single?
Of course, by saying this Im sure Im going to meet Ms. Right within the next few days and she's gonna completely screw-up my world now! LOL!!!! | |
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| so, why are you still single? Posted: 5/16/2008 1:58:09 AM | I am so guilty of asking this! I thought about why, though. It should be taken as a compliment! I asked because he seemed too good to be true and it is hard to believe that some people are still single because "all the good men are either taken or gay" Seriously, you know what I mean. Why else would someone ask if they didn't think you are extraordinary? | |
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| so, why are you still single? Posted: 5/16/2008 4:26:10 AM |
I'm still single because I choose to be. At this time in my life I'm not about to just settle for anything less than someone who completely knocks my socks off. It may take a long time, but it will be worth the wait. I agree 100%. And if the wait turns up nothing, then I guess that's the way it'll be. Luckily I've got friends, family, a ton of things to do and a stack of books to read. Bring on life!
However I came out of a 6 month relationship a few months back and now realise at the age of 33 I really do need the love of a good woman! Time isn't on my side and I don't want to grow into an old single lonely man.
OMG - come back when you're 63 and say time isn't on your side. 33 is still REALLY young...relax dude. | |
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| so, why are you still single? Posted: 5/16/2008 6:43:08 AM | Posted By: Jaimew on 5/14/2008 3 03 AM Subject: so, why are you still single? Message: I've never really been bothered at being single. I can go years without the love of a good women and not have it bother me in the slightest. However I came out of a 6 month relationship a few months back and now realise at the age of 33 I really do need the love of a good woman! Time isn't on my side and I don't want to grow into an old single lonely man.
Hopefully I will find somebody willing to give a shy 33 year old a chance to show what I am about. .............................................................................
What is the root of the problem here? The fact is, this guy is hurting. That calls for compassion. He is needy. He says he "needs" the "love of a good woman" and apparently he is not getting it.
I wonder if his "need" arises in some degree from the concept regrettably evident in the header of this thread: that being single is something that needs to be explained, as if it's a defect in life. Could he accept that being single is NOT a sickness needing cure or some sort of maladjusted condition needing to be fixed?
This poster fears that he may "grow into an old single lonely man." Whoa, dude. I was a MARRIED lonely man and got out of the marriage. Feelings of loneliness are FEELINGS, and all feelings you experience are your own. YOU make your feelings. That implies that nobody outside yourself has the remedy. There is no one "right" person and even if there were, nobody outside YOU is ever going to be forever the answer to your need. BandAids don't cure broken legs.
Why do you want somebody to "give you a chance"? Gamblers in Vegas want "a chance." If you do know "what you are about," congratulations - a lot of people, including me, spend their entire lives trying to figure out what they are about. And, you know something? That's really O.K. Life is NOT a destination; it's a JOURNEY - and that really is O.K. and it can be fun, even though it's messy. There's a name for getting to the end of that tricky journey, and it's not a pretty idea - that name is "dead."
I don't think "a good woman" can be the answer to your need except for a very short while. I think your problem comes from within yourself. Instead of looking for the love of a good woman, maybe you could just work on becoming a more loving person. That is what IS within your control and within your reach - not other persons, but your self. And BTW - doesn't it occur to you that this "good woman" isn't on earth to live YOUR life for you - she's busy living hers? She isn't your "missing half," and she isn't your nurse. She's just one more person struggling with her own challenges and she can walk by your side without solving YOUR problems for you.
And BTW there's no law that says you can only love one person. Maybe if you give away your love generously and without holding back or rationing it out, just spread it around to everyone you meet - who knows, the people you want intimacy with may then appear out of the woodwork, see that you are a loving person and they will be attracted to you. Funny thing, but they say life then becomes easier and seems less of a struggle, more flowing, more stress-free. Can't explain it, but why fight it? Love is no longer something to seek or strive for; it's just what happens like the sun rising every morning.
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| so, why are you still single? Posted: 5/16/2008 9:35:02 AM | How would one put this succinctly. It is such a story, and a long one...I guess a reason is that I am fiercly independent, and do not like to be controlled, and find that many men want that type of control. Also, because, I am an introvert, and need lots of quiet and freedom. My home is my sanctuary. I feel I am a free spirit. A male friend once compared me to a little bird fluttering around his head, but try as he might, he didn't catch it. Like a Butterfly, kindof. As well, I am monogamous, which seems to be the unattainable "dream" for the most part. But, the Universe is much more complex than this, and I must MAnifest something more suitable than what I have settled for in the past. I guess I start a list of what it is that I want and meditate, and journal on it until it becomes a Thought Form-yeah! Now that's a Bright idea!  | |
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| so, why are you still single? Posted: 5/16/2008 5:59:25 PM | I haven't met anyone that has made me feel comfortable enough with being me, yes men can be too controlling, telling you what do with your life, how to dress, etc,, guys can be real b*tches unfortunately.. I am a free spirit as well, and dating is not for me.
There is more to life then dating or relationships. I'd like to find a job I'd be happy at, now that would be great!
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| so, why are you still single? Posted: 5/16/2008 7:03:56 PM | Actually, those who comes across finding out that I'm still single. The responses I got from the women and men were "SMART" !!
Obviously the married life isn't as crack up as it ever be! hahahaa....
sorry I love this smiley too much  | |
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| so, why are you still single? Posted: 5/16/2008 10:48:57 PM | | I am not really interested in a relationship with someone until I complete my law degree, for various reasons. I would prefer to remain single and concentrate on my studies at the moment. | |
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| so, why are you still single? Posted: 5/16/2008 11:53:33 PM |
guys keep asking me why i'm still single. is it wrong to have led an interesting, independent lifestyle through your 30's? maybe i have had my share of fun, hard times, and other things to focus on other than marriage. i'll be 35 next month, and i never felt that something was "wrong" with me 'cause i was still a bachlorette...until everyone started asking this question! am i the only one who hears this kind of thing?
I will say I also have had he issue of not having a problem with being single until someone asks me. I feel that certain values should be kept to what you want in life and if it leaves someone single then I guess the right person just hasn't come around yet. Not that its ok to be extremely choosy. I am not myself; I just have values some people may not share and I don't feel it makes it wrong to stay single until someone is found with those same values. | |
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| so, why are you still single? Posted: 5/17/2008 11:22:36 AM | I imagine I am single for the reasons why most normal men stay single:
1) not rich 2) not a CK model 3) not a abusive sociopath
Of course, as I get older and have observed the way women behave, being ignored by them feels more like a blessing than a insult. | |
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| so, why are you still single? Posted: 5/17/2008 1:56:31 PM | | I get this question alot. "gee, you are so pretty, why are you on a dating site?" Are all marginally attractive people married? or is that a sure bet that people want to date you? maybe "sexual encounters only" people. This comment seems so shallow and unintelligent. I think it's just a stupid come-on line. I mean how do you respond to such an inane question? | |
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| so, why are you still single? Posted: 5/17/2008 2:09:28 PM | | Because most women don't get me or think I am weird because I am sarcastic and not take things mega seriously 24/7. Then again in this day and age it's nearly impossible to meet anyone anyways. Being why I am here like the rest of you. | |
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| so, why are you still single? Posted: 5/17/2008 10:20:06 PM | I have traveled the world...I don't think I could have done that if I were married or in a serious relationship. I also wonder about soulmates...what if she lives in Greenland and I never meet her...lol!
I have many friends who would love to be in my shoes...and me in theirs with family and kids. I also know a lot who are unhappy and married very early...so I guess it's about weighing up your choices and living with it...no one else has to deal with it but you.
I am always curious to know why they want or need me to be in a relationship...for their peace of mind or mine...
One other note...I have a hard time with those that say...you can't look for it...it will happen when you are least looking...but who is single and doesn't look for it...and most of those who say that...were looking too...because I was with them...lol! It makes a nice story though... | |
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| so, why are you still single? Posted: 5/19/2008 9:06:09 AM | People need to get over the fact that its not 1879 anymore. Live, love, laugh...you will be dead long enough. Your young and smart as far as im concerned. Would you get more respect if you were divorced with 3 kids...hell no. | |
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| so, why are you still single? Posted: 5/19/2008 2:07:30 PM | **Beth**,
Easy now...
I haven't met anyone that has made me feel comfortable enough with being me, yes men can be too controlling, telling you what do with your life, how to dress, etc,, guys can be real b*tches unfortunately.. I am a free spirit as well, and dating is not for me.
Please don't generalize and stereotype, for I have had relationships where my mate(s) were the controlling ones. If a man tries to cross the river with his mate, he is made to either lead, or be led, thus producing the ultimatum of "control", or be "controlled". (psychologically speaking)
It is simply; those that choose to be giving and trusting, to walk beside their mate, are perceived as less than. Resulting in control by others.
I don't get the impression that dating is a problem for you, but more, WHO you choose to date.
Men are not the controllers, but we (good men and women) are the controlled if we so allow. Since women are more sensitive, delicate, and closer to the higher power by nature, inevitably it is women who hold the mass quota on this.
But generalizing is null, for both genders participate.
As for finding a job you love? Well, I am blessed because I didn't think I was going to like this job, and had little intentions of staying after the first day. But here I am, and my job is a gift to me, and I Love it!!
Best of wishes for you, And God Bless to all, Scott | |
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| so, why are you still single? Posted: 5/21/2008 11:41:47 AM | I am single because:
My X girlfriend is 20 years old and I am 36. Other than Physical Attraction - we had nothing in common........ | |
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