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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > SO why are you still single after 30?      Mod Threads Home login  
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 Author Thread: SO why are you still single after 30?
 nadia08

Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 1276
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so, why are you still single?
Posted: 7/22/2008 8:51:12 AM
just recently gotten out from a long relationship.. and have not found that one true crazy person to enjoy the roller coaster rides in every single state...
 Feedback1

Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 1277
so, why are you still single?
Posted: 7/22/2008 9:03:44 AM
Is this thread still going??? 2005 I guess people get this question a lot
 fra59e

Joined: 6/4/2005
Msg: 1278
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so, why are you still single?
Posted: 7/22/2008 9:29:50 AM


Lots of women my age are single because a great deal of the men our age are looking for the cute young thing.


Unfortunately I think it is pretty common for women to grow up alone blaming men for the fact that she is alone. Often that is a cop-out. The fact, sadly enough, is that she may not have developed her own personality to become an attractive woman whose years add to her appeal rather than detracting from it.

If she reaches 50 with the same mind she had at 20, why be surprised if the men who encounter her find her less appealing than some younger woman who has more potential for growth and probably a more lithe body and more flexible values and tastes?

Recently my social contacts have included some women who have done interesting things with their lives - one has traveled the world and lived in Europe, one has published three books, one races Mustangs competitively. All these activities are things the younger women have not yet had years enough to do. All of them make those mature women appealing. None of those women would be what they are if they had chosen to remain indoors with a Diet Pepsi, a cat, and "Days of Our Lives." They are not just debris from marriages; they have actual lives of their own choosing and their own design.

So, women over 45, what have YOU made yourself into?
 outofthedesert

Joined: 6/3/2008
Msg: 1279
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so, why are you still single?
Posted: 7/22/2008 5:42:39 PM

So, women over 45, what have YOU made yourself into?

My IQ is high enough to be intelligent and can converse about a great number of things
I speak 3 languages fluently
I work for the government in an excellent job
Have a regular, part-time gig in Dinner Theater and Improv
Mastermarksman
Gourmet cook
Teach dancing
Artist in oils, watercolors, pastels and needlework

Yes, I would say I have done nothing with my life and am quite boring to boot.
 Fifi47

Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 1280
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so, why are you still single?
Posted: 7/22/2008 6:10:12 PM
Sadly Annette, you probably intimidate most men since they are too closed minded to realize what an interesting, interested prize of a lady you are.
 Aryabella

Joined: 7/13/2008
Msg: 1281
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so, why are you still single?
Posted: 7/22/2008 7:43:37 PM
I realize there are several pages of replies already-but I just found this thread...So here is my 2cents worth.

I get that comment a lot also (so, why are you still single?), and I never understood it either. There is nothing "wrong" with me, either-I was not ready to "settle down" and have kids or start a family when I was in my 20's or early 30's.

I am now 38, and have had a couple of serious relationships, which were learning lessons, but not bad ones. I don't mind being single, and I just don't feel that my "worth" depends upon my martial status!!

Some of us find our significant others in our late 30's, 40's, 50's etc. There doesn't need to be a "reason" why, it just is for some of us-and that ain't such a bad thing.
 misssexyprincess

Joined: 5/10/2008
Msg: 1282
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so, why are you still single?
Posted: 7/25/2008 6:28:35 PM
I also get this question alot, as if they were implyng that something has to be wrong with me. I dont mind being single, and at 38 becouse i dont have kids and im single people tend to judge me.......
I know that i am single becouse i havnt found that great guy, who can overlook my flaws or weaknesses. But i can say , they always want me back..... when they realize the grass isnt any greener !!!
 BigIrishLad

Joined: 2/17/2008
Msg: 1283
so, why are you still single?
Posted: 7/26/2008 6:51:40 PM
I can't speak for all men of course, but if I were to say to a woman, "Why are you still single?", I would probably be asking it in a complimentary way. I think so many people look at it way too deeply. It is what it is - a compliment.

*shrugs*
 alethia2u

Joined: 6/9/2006
Msg: 1284
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so, why are you still single?
Posted: 7/26/2008 10:48:38 PM
I think it takes a great deal of courage to remain single at our age. I've spent most of my energy running 2 successful businesses, raising my daughter and learning to love me for who I am. Sometimes I think it's funny that people look at me with pity, when they ask..."so...are you dating anyone?" Did you ever see that Sex & The City episode? Hilarious. Stay strong sister! You're perfect the way you are!
 fra59e

Joined: 6/4/2005
Msg: 1285
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so, why are you still single?
Posted: 7/27/2008 9:01:07 AM

Posted By: outofthedesert on 7/22/2008 539 PM
Subject: so, why are you still single?

So, women over 45, what have YOU made yourself into?

My IQ is high enough to be intelligent and can converse about a great number of things
I speak 3 languages fluently
I work for the government in an excellent job
Have a regular, part-time gig in Dinner Theater and Improv
Mastermarksman
Gourmet cook
Teach dancing
Artist in oils, watercolors, pastels and needlework

......................................................

Hmm. Well, if the males are not showing interest in you, there are possible reasons.

First, you are intelligent. Sadly, many males are scared of smart women. Insecure weak men want women to be dumb and dependent, not equal to them. This used to be expressed in terms of wanting women to be barefoot and pregnant, or Martin Luther's famous dictum *kinder, kirche, kuche* - women's role was defined by church, children and kitchen. Women, fortunately, have moved on and can be equal to men, but a lot of men are not ready for equality. This can be seen in the many men who post at PoF that they would not let a woman pay for a meal. It will probably take a hundred years before men and women achieve equality in social relationships. Remember, it has not yet been a hundred years since they were even allowed to vote.

Here's consolation, though. The old fashioned men who are incapable of accepting equality are not the men you would want in your life anyway. Macho types will bring you misery. You are better off alone than spending your life with a person who cannot accept your full equality with him or, as is more likely, that each of you is superior to the other in some ways and inferior in other ways and accept and even enjoy this.

You work in dinner theatre which is excellent but don't forget that the theatre is a world that attracts a lot of gay men which may not be exactly what you want.

"Mastermarksman" - ah, that's a good place to meet men. A lot more males than females go to shooting ranges, even if the president of the NRA is a woman, Sandy Froman. I know a lot of gun lovers and they are cool people: stable, secure, sober, mostly males.

"Gourmet cook" - well, that's a skill that should give you a head start in attracting males. Of course you have to get the guy into your house before you can wow him with a meal. But one you've got him that far your cooking skill should clinch the deal. However, many men don't appreciate gourmet taste and prefer simple eats and lots of it. Speaking for myself, I love massive piles of spinach and boiled potatoes, better than dainty servings of asparagus and polenta. My (former) wife got my attention wuth roast duck, not so much the food itself as the obvious affectionate care with which she prepared the meal and got her roommates to stay away for a few hours; I could see that I mattered to her.

"Needlework" - you are not likely to run into many male hunks doing that.

So "why are you still single"? Maybe it's lack of exposure. If you figure out ways to be more visible then more males will see what you are and it looks as if you have a lot to engage their interest. So how visible are you? Do you make a point of being seen? In group discussions do you stand up and express an opinion? Do you run for office? Do you travel abroad alone, not just in tour groups or on cruises? Do you belong to Toastmasters?
 chev702

Joined: 6/30/2008
Msg: 1286
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so, why are you still single?
Posted: 7/27/2008 12:57:10 PM
Simple Nobody Know When Forever Is??? Your Forever will Creep Up On You Faster Then You Think. And The Years You Never Shared With Someone Is Wasted Time Unless You Feel You Should Be A Loner Then That"s Okay But For The Most Part People Wanna Share The Wonderful Things Life Gives Us And If You Don't Have Somebody To Share It With What Is The Sense In Doing It Or Seeing It??Finding That Penguin You Are Searching For Does Not Exist I Don't Think There Is A Person That Would Argue That Fact. Everybody Has Different Tastes And That Is What Makes The Relationship So Special. It Is What Each Other Brings To The Table. How Bland A Relationship Would Be If Everybody Thought As You Did And Said Yes All The Time.. Some People Are Perfectly Happy Alone Others Want Or Need That Somebody Special In There World To Come Home To, Somebody To Say Good Job!! Some Find That Love In A Pet. It Is There To Greet Them But That It Limited To Sit Up, Lay Down, Roll Over, Fetch. Believe Me The Years From 35 To 55 Will Go Bye In A Blink I Remember Just Being 30 Myself And Now Here I Sit At 45 Looking At A Mirroe Thinking What Happened To Them Years. Single Yes I Am Single But By Choice Because You Have To Find That Somebody That You Are Phyiscal Attracted Too. I Haven't Found Her Yet But I Will See I Am Thinking I Am Still 30 In My Head And Trying To Find That 30 Year Old In A 45 Year Old Body Not Having Much Luck There Smiles Many Act Like 30 But Look Like 70 That Is What Turns Me Off. If You Going To Be Looking Try To Look Your Best We Will See The Worst Soon Enough Smiles Mornings Yikes. This Is Just Food For Thought . Just My 2 Cents Kevin..
 discoafternoon

Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 1287
so, why are you still single?
Posted: 7/28/2008 7:18:31 AM
I get the "why are you single?" question all the time from guys on here. Some men admit they're asking in hopes of us telling them what baggage we may have. Others just think it's the question you're supposed to ask at the beginning. And others just can't come up with anything original to ask, it seems. It's always "why are you single?" or "why are you here?" or "what are you looking for?" or some variation of those questions. I find that if I actually talk to guys and get to know them, those answers will come out anyway without me having to ask.
 Bobbuttons

Joined: 2/14/2008
Msg: 1288
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so, why are you still single?
Posted: 7/28/2008 9:06:41 AM

Trust me, there are lots of nice guys who are single because they can't find a woman who has her head on straight. Lots of women my age are single because a great deal of the men our age are looking for the cute young thing.





This is true about looking for the cute, young thing. I must admit that most of the women I have gone out with in my life have been younger than me. I had decided to try something new, though, when I was 30 years old and dating a 19 year old who was completely immature and drove me crazy because of it. It wasn't because I didn't want to date women my age, I just tended not to meet them and the ones I did meet were married or were still in a long term relationship. I have been making it a point to look for women my age now, as it certainly seems that they know much more of what they want in life.

I'd have to say that is why I am still single, to answer the original question. Younger women just don't seem as keen to settle down anymore. I certainly didn't think I'd be 33 and still single. I always figured I'd end up marrying the first woman that showed interest, and that almost happened. Such is life, I guess. :)
 sweetheart513

Joined: 6/18/2008
Msg: 1289
so, why are you still single?
Posted: 7/28/2008 11:16:32 AM
I get that too. I think it is meant to be a compliment. I keep hearing that all the good ones are taken, so they are surprised when they find one that is failry normal and has a lot to offer.
 doc4now

Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 1290
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so, why are you still single?
Posted: 7/28/2008 3:32:36 PM
I heard once that marriage was a lot like a hot bath, its pretty good when you first get in it but it will cool off after a while
 outofthedesert

Joined: 6/3/2008
Msg: 1291
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so, why are you still single?
Posted: 7/28/2008 4:17:31 PM
Actually========I am now quite taken and by a man who appreciates all my qualities, especially the intelligence part. We are both mastermarksmen and with much else in common.
 MzSomebody

Joined: 5/13/2008
Msg: 1292
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so, why are you still single?
Posted: 7/30/2008 4:10:31 PM
wow nyc? that must mean u are a catch? ...Maybe it's an odd compliment?...I don't get that because as a single mom I think most realize it's not that easy...BUT DON'T SWEAT IT!
 italia4you

Joined: 7/21/2008
Msg: 1293
so, why are you still single?
Posted: 7/30/2008 5:49:53 PM
I have said it to a few people.
But I have meant it more as a compliment. I say this, I can't believe you are single.
what I am thinking is WOW! how is a beatiful, smart, sexy, wonderful woman like this single. Why has not some guy snatched her up? I can't believe it!.

So you never know, maybe it is said as a compliment.

Ciao
 jgrobes8

Joined: 5/17/2008
Msg: 1294
so, why are you still single?
Posted: 7/30/2008 7:37:15 PM
Because I wasn't popular in high school and could never get a date. Then I worked while I was going to college and never went out. I've always been a little shy which has made it hard for me to meet anybody.

I've dated here and there, but it wasn't until recently that a girl went out with me more than once and she thought I was too boring and laid back. It doesn't help my cause that the anxieties that most people conquer when they are half my age I still struggle with.

So I guess it's because average looks+boring +shyness/awkwardness=still single @39.
 MikeCampy

Joined: 7/29/2008
Msg: 1295
so, why are you still single?
Posted: 8/1/2008 10:49:31 PM
Someone once asked me, "Why don't you have a girlfriend? Everybody else has a girlfriend!"

I said, "You just answered your own question."
 BruceGraham1965

Joined: 7/26/2008
Msg: 1296
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so, why are you still single?
Posted: 8/2/2008 3:46:40 AM
Hmmm..well I guess it's due to the attitudes of western society. I am over 25 years of age & I am not filthy rich . These are the #1 and #2 attribues deemed by western culture to be MOST desirable in a date. If a guy doesn't fall under at least one of these two categories, he is considered 'UNDATEWORTHY' and therefore must remain single.
 WomanInProgress

Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 1297
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so, why are you still single?
Posted: 8/2/2008 8:31:21 AM

Someone once asked me, "Why don't you have a girlfriend? Everybody else has a girlfriend!"

I said, "You just answered your own question."

Awesome response! Can I borrow that one?
 Elastaplast

Joined: 7/22/2008
Msg: 1298
so, why are you still single?
Posted: 8/2/2008 1:51:45 PM
I was having far too much fun and didn't want a woman to spoil it!
 alfie2607

Joined: 7/4/2008
Msg: 1299
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so, why are you still single?
Posted: 8/2/2008 8:52:13 PM
i guess because i was involved with the wrong person, and I need time to find out a person and make sure its the right one, another think like everybody we have are goals on life so i tryng to reach it, but love is always in my mind just i need to kee looking but i'm not in rush
 MOMO98

Joined: 5/25/2007
Msg: 1300
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so, why are you still single?
Posted: 8/2/2008 9:32:06 PM
It's sounds stupid,but I just haven't found the right one.
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