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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 4/6/2009 5:16:16 AM | Yes. Yes. Yes. I get this question alot myself and I feel it is just one of the dumbest questions that can be asked. What are people expecting you to say? As if there is some line in the sand that states when one should get married. I feel like asking them why they were single until they got married! Im sure that would leave them dumbfounded. But I dont.
I dont think I have really ever answered this question, so here it goes. I guess the reason why im still single is that I know what im looking for on all levels and will not settle or lower my standards. Maybe because of my parents getting divorced when I was very young I am super careful in who I think would be right for me. I always said that I would rather be alone than be in a bad relationship that is going nowhere and I have been on both ends of that ship, regardless of how hard I tried. Although I think im a pretty good conversationalist and have confidence in my sense of humor, etc, I have always found it hard to just go up to someone im attracted to and start talking. Im sure this played a part as well. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 4/8/2009 11:15:55 AM | | I'm still single because I love being single. I can come and go as I want, i'm only in charge of me, I don't have any ex wives hunting me down or any little rugrats to take care of and support, than God!!!! | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 4/8/2009 11:21:53 AM | I hate this stupid redundant question.
Who made it that if your single there is something fundamentally wrong with you.
I am single by choice. I have been single for so long now, that I am not even sure I know how to be in a relationship.
I get told all the time from friends, family, co-workers that they don't understand why I am single. My response is always the same. I CHOOSE to be. I have learned from past failures and mistakes made when I was young and thought I knew it all. I won't settle. I am confident in my abilities in this world. I can provide for myself. I don't have to answer to anyone. I don't have to ask permission for anything. I don't get told how to spend MY money I earn. I get the bed to myself. I never wake up cold b/c someone has stolen all the covers only to throw them on the floor on their side of the bed.
Everything is in it's place and I always know where to find it when I need it.
I could go on, but I am sure you get the gist of it.
Every once in a while I get a pang, and it takes a bit to figure out what is making me feel so disjointed and unsatisfied with life, but it passes quickly.
Perhaps one day I will meet someone who I click with and we are headed down the same path and choose to walk that path together. Then again perhaps not. | |
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p~s
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Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 1579 | |
| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 4/9/2009 12:37:33 AM | ""It just seems as if all the divorced or widowed people are always talking about how never married people cannot relate to them as if they have the market on life or something, and they dismiss us as having no potential as dating partners since we have not lived a similar life. I never knew so much prejudice against never married people existed until I became an active forum participant. It has been enlightening and disheartening, as I never have thought that my value as a person revolved around the facts that I have either been married and/or become a parent. Anyone know of a site that is specifically for people who have not been married?""
Sorry don't know how to highlight like others here so I just have to quote.
I've never experienced this personally but then my relationships have been long term even though we never married.
I feel one is much the same as the other but once you sign those papers it's hard and if it doesn't work out there's that social stigma of being divorced. If anything I'm happy for never having married either of the men I was serious with, neither worked for different and very valid reasons.
I want to marry once and only once so I'm glad to not be married, doesn't mean I don't understand what commitment is by any means, so don't think of yourself as a not having potential to others because of never having married or been a parent but be proud you haven't just settled for any one. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 4/9/2009 1:38:42 AM | | I always get told how great of a guy I am.. When I was younger I had no issues with finding a woman to go out with on the weekend.. However since I've been divorced and getting older I find it very difficult to even get a woman passed the friend area.. It's really a big blow to the confidence when you try to show interest in a woman and you can't tell if they are interested back.. I just turned 30 about a month ago and I am ready to start open a new page in my life.. Maybe it will be better then my 20's.. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 4/9/2009 1:41:44 AM | | I know I have great potential to others, and am glad that I did not marry the wrong person. At age 40 I noticed that people seemed to weird out when they discovered that I had not been married. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 4/9/2009 1:49:22 AM | | Because some people are ignorant and have not experienced life outside what they are used to. It's sad that people are so focused on what they consider normal that they can't allow anything different into their lives.. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 4/9/2009 3:15:23 PM |
I know I have great potential to others, and am glad that I did not marry the wrong person. At age 40 I noticed that people seemed to weird out when they discovered that I had not been married.
I'm not weird out in the least. I wish i was 40 and never been married. My life right now would be so much better. Anybody who has been divorced and wants to look down there nose at someone that hasn't been married and gone through the shyt they ( I ) have been through must be crazy or stupid or both. I don't sweat people like that. There is something wrong between there ears. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 4/9/2009 5:26:16 PM | I will be 39 yrs old very shortly - I feel I have nothing to be ashamed of - in my entire life I have only had 2 real relationships 1 of them being my marriage. I have spent the majority of my adult life being single. Now for me, being single is a lifestyle choice and preference, I don't like the hassles or drama's that some relationships bear but I also find that I am very happy being single I love the fact that I don't have anyone to answer to and that I can just get up and go whenever I want to.
Now with saying that I would be happy to consider the possiblity of a relationship however realistically no-one has gained enough of my interest to intice to opening up to 1.
My family say I am too self sefficient and that I scare guys off - well maybe I do - but if something needs doing I don't wait for a male to do it for me, I just do it myself. Maybe men don't feel needed around me but there is something's that I would like a male to do but then again I would probably be disappointed in that area too. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 4/9/2009 7:19:11 PM | | Why am I still single at 33? Still pretty much experienced in dating/relationship? Lord's design I did not understand yet.... There might also be the lessons Lord want me learn, not smart enough know it yet.... Just accept the fact at thsi moment... | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 4/10/2009 5:56:47 AM | | In my humble opinion, I think the majority of 'still singles' would be in a realationsip if the right one came along. It is easier to justify singleness when you don't have anyone. Just like those who are married sometimes wish they were single. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 4/11/2009 12:16:21 AM | I have found that people have no idea what they want in life. I know what I want and what I like. I'm happy that I know it. With near 50% divorce rate in this country, I am not willing to give up things to someone else that have not come easy to me. I treat people the way I want to be treated. If they do not treat me the same way in return, I treat them the way they treat me. I have met women that I am completely comfortable with and believe that there is a future with only to have them do a 180 on me. I have been told that they didn't expect to meet a guy as great as me so soon. WTF? It makes it that much tougher, for me, to keep trying. It would be great if people would just be real and get out of their own way.
I have also found that people get scared when they finally find what they want. It is as if they don't feel that they deserve it or some past issue(s) get in the way. I was recently asked the question Do You Think That You Will Ever Get Married? My answer was...I am willing to wait for exactly what I want. If it takes forever, I will wait forever. As far as the naysayers that say you haven't been married and you don't know what its like...I always say to them, You Are Exactly Right! I have no idea what its like! Divorce is not something that I want to pursue, but, I am sure that there are a lot of things that I know about that you don't. I learn from my mistakes and try to give everyone a fair opportunity. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 4/11/2009 1:08:20 AM | Hmm... it sounds like a compliment. I guess it would depend on the tone, but it sounds like "why in the world hasn't someone snagged you yet?" The obvious answer being: "I was waiting for you."
Seriously, though, don't be intimidated, be flattered, and be yourself without telling your life story. For me, it'd be something like: I was in a long relationship, and when that ended, I took some time to regroup. Now, I'm ready to try again.
Course, it's a lot easier in this format, when you can go back and delete words that sound too desperate or stand-offish. That's why these forums are wonderful. People post questions like this, so you can think about things before being put on the spot. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 4/11/2009 12:46:57 PM | I would be quick to admit I get defensive when asked this question. Attributing to the fact that I sometimes let other people's opinion affect me...it gets me into thinking is there something fundamentally unloveable about me?
Luckily though, I snap out of it and affirm my conviction that I am still single because I haven't met the right one. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 4/12/2009 7:54:22 AM | You know why I am still single?
Cause I have not met any women that can handle me.
As far on what I am bring to the table of a relationship. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 4/13/2009 7:05:34 AM | why am i still single?
I'm going to put it like this. I work as a cleaner in a slaughterhouse on nightshift | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 4/13/2009 10:48:36 PM | I'm 38 and single by choice. A few years back I decided to stay single. Not that I'd turn down a Mr. Wonderful type relationship, but I got tired of the games. I'm really settled and content with my own life. Bad experiences in the past made me feel like having a relationship will just cost me money or other things.
Maybe not all true, but still I figure if you're not sure you want a marriage type thing well why should you seek it? | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 4/13/2009 10:55:51 PM | Sexual selection is in itself an extremely complex affair, depending, as it does, on ardour in love, courage, and the rivalry of the males, and on the powers of perception, taste, and will of the female.
- Charles Darwin
That last part pretty much says it all. It's tough being a victim of circumstance... | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 4/14/2009 7:11:40 AM | 35, and long term single. Why? Simple answer, women generally dont find me attractive as a whole. I know that when I do find someone, I have a lot to give, it's just a matter of finding them!
I'm kind, generous, easy going, gentle, loyal, and honest. Unfortunately, that also gets summed up with the single word, boring! | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 4/14/2009 8:15:25 AM | Ive been divorced for 6yrs now with one serious relationship that ended while I was in Afghanistan 3 yrs ago. Dear John emails suck but it was a wake up call to me in the end. I put all my eggs into one basket and gave all I had into a relationship which resulted in the worse pain that I couldnt do anything about.
Since then I have focused on me which is what I neglected to do before. Of course I often think about how great it would be to have a special someone but at this point Im really just letting time pass.
The site here is great and is the best free site I know of to meet people through dating wise.
These days I think Im really just the most 'over looked' guy around. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 4/15/2009 1:01:08 PM | | I am constantly hearing this! My answer? I know exactly what I want and under no circumstances am I going to settle! | |
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