| Would you date a recovering alcoholic?
Posted: 12/28/2005 5:17:42 PM | Only if I was a recovering alcoholic myself..... then we would have something to talk about  Follow the bouncing ball..... he is wise.... he is omnipresent | |
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| Would you date a recovering alcoholic?
Posted: 12/28/2005 6:28:30 PM | The problem here is believing that he can control it. That's not going to happen. This will come back to bite you in the ass! Prepare for the downfall. . . it's coming. | |
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| Would you date a recovering alcoholic?
Posted: 12/28/2005 6:44:43 PM | | I have to agree with Boise's warning, having been married to an alcoholic for 29 years and then dated two recovering alcoholics. There are sometimes some underlying personality problems, which cannot be addressed by AA. Watch out for obsessions that replace the alcohol. | |
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| Would you date a recovering alcoholic?
Posted: 12/28/2005 6:46:37 PM | | I think you hit on the head with your first thought-if he is getting help and not drinking at all anymore then that's great. Let him do what he's got to do for himself. What if he said he has never drank and would never want to have anything to do with people that have or do? | |
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| Would you date a recovering alcoholic?
Posted: 12/28/2005 6:56:18 PM | | Yea. I'm not sure if I could date a girl that has a history of being drunk and puking all over the place all the time. Drunk girls also tend to be very physically violent and sexually frightening (too aggressive and demanding). But if she hasn't drank in a long time and she hasn't been falling and puking all over the place due to a "girls gone wild" drinking binge, then I guess I could take a chance and see if she really has overcome her addiction. | |
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| Would you date a recovering alcoholic?
Posted: 12/28/2005 7:01:32 PM | who someone was is not important, who they are now is..
Thats the way I look at it..
Maybe im wrong, but I really dont think so | |
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lacy85
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Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 57 | |
| Would you date a recovering alcoholic?
Posted: 12/28/2005 7:03:04 PM | I think it would be a great idea. I was with a very bad abusive alcoholic for years and I left because he is never going to get help with someone there all the time to clean up after him!If this guy is really serious about AA then I think you should stand behind that. Its awesome that he is making the attempt to better his life. | |
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| Would you date a recovering alcoholic?
Posted: 12/28/2005 7:36:47 PM | OK... when i was drinking... i use to go out 6 nights out of the 7 from the time i was 17 ( we are legal to drink at 18 here).... i use to drink at home before going out... on weekends i would binge drink from friday to sunday....mondays i would stay at home and still drink.... nearly 6years ago i just went cold turkey.... this is when i moved to sydney.... i was working long hours for shit pay.... i didnt have time to go out every day of the week when i was down there i couldnt afford it... and i knew when i was getting home at mightnight i would have to be fronting up for work again at 8am...( i worked for a business management and consulting firm doing up procedures and tenders for govt) I lived in sydney for 2 years... in that time i went out maybe 5times... i also became pregnant when i was there.... now... since my son has been born.... i have gone out 5 times if that in 3.5years... people would think i was binge drinking when i went out as i always had a glass in my hand in fact i only wouldve had 6 drinks all night over a 10hour span.... but i was as sober as i was when i walked thru that door at the start of the night.... i go out now for my friends bday... as i have done for the last 15years.... this is the only time in the year i would sit in a pub/club/bar to have a drink.... yes i can drink at home... but that is now few and far between.... I have lived in this house for 8months now... and there is still the just open bottle of vodka and JD sitting in my cupboard from the first night i did move in... also there is a mixed bottle of wild turkey my friend brought over for my bday back in august... i have had one out of the 4 pack... there is one left... others have had other 2...
I was also a very happy drunk when i was drinking... i still am when i do have some.... but i dont binge drink anymore... i do know how to control myself... one friend of mine cant even tell the difference between when i am drunk to when i am sober....
I have never gone to a AA meeting... as i didnt see the point in it.... i made the choice for me to cut down and stop.... and with me not giving into pressure from mates of mine when i go over to their house who are drinking as they know to offer me a drink if i dont feel like it they wont ask me again .
this is the same for my partner.... he also gave up cold turkey... he hasnt gone to any AA meetings... he knew he had a problem.... and his choice was to attack that from within himself... it is his testing himself to see how far he can go with this... like when he was drinking he was testing himself how much more he could drink from the day before.... he has gone out and drank... since he has stopped.... but he knows he wont go back to where he was before.... does he miss those days... yes... as do i miss my partying days.... but i am not fully the same person i was back then...
with me its being able to have a drink in moderation... my partner knows he can drink in moderation too.... he knows he is an alcoholic... he knows he is a recovering alcoholic... will he never be recovered.... coz he has to think of not going back to the way he was... that will always be at the back of his mind at the end of the glass....
i dont drink when im with my partner at home... i dont feel i have the urge to drink like i use too.... when i offer him a drink... i start off with water... coffee... tea... milo....softdrink... and the very last would be a alcoholic drink...
people who are an alcoholics have choices.... they can stay completely clean coz they know the drink is more powerful then their will to not go back to the way they were... and then there are people that can still be an alcoholic but have the will power not to let the drink over take them again... and be able to drink socially in moderation... and not all the time.. only on special occasion.... | |
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| Would you date a recovering alcoholic?
Posted: 12/28/2005 11:32:28 PM | | Through experiences I've had, people that have been recovering alcoholics, have predispositions to addictions to more than just alcohol. I do admire their strength and effort to try and overcome it, but dating one isn't for me. | |
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| Would you date a recovering alcoholic?
Posted: 12/29/2005 4:09:27 AM | I wouldn't date a recovering alcoholic, not because of him but the fact that I'm in Al-Anon, having spent 20 yrs w/ an abusive alcoholic. I have too much baggage, even though my ex is in recovering. Also, ACOA(my dad). Just wouldn't be a good idea.
Super-sized hugs,
D  | |
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| Would you date a recovering alcoholic?
Posted: 12/30/2005 12:03:24 AM | Would you like your best friend to be the one to tell your mother you had choked on your vomit and passed away? I know I would never want my mother, father, brothers, sisters, friends to be without me because I went out with my friends, got plastered, went home and fell asleep only to wake up choking! With only seconds of life remaining. Yeah I would stop drinking too. Behind every drunk their is a story. Was my drinking out of control, at times it was. That is why I quit drinking, that is why I go to AA. Yes we did go out, the book was in the glove box. I have nothing to hide. I approached one of my best friends since I was four years old. I asked him how his five years of sobriety was going, he said great! He invited me to AA with him. I have been sober for fifty five days. That book was a Christmas gift from my best friend. I am not ready for the steps of AA. I know if I don't pick up a drink I won't get drunk, I wont choke on my vomit and pass on prematurely. There is so much wisdom and life experience in those rooms. Its absolutly amazing!
I do have to admitt that it is great to see what people have to say. The opinions on this topic are very interesting. I have to be honest aswell. I have drove intoxicated and did not remember it at all. Stupidest thing I have ever done in my life. I am doing this for me, you, your families, and loved ones aswell. No drinking, no drunk driving!
Never been busted for drunk driving, have been busted for speeding to a damn AA meeting!
Take Care
Zach | |
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| Would you date a recovering alcoholic?
Posted: 12/30/2005 2:10:20 AM | slseeker: Obviously not enough wisdom in those meetings though. I would think that understanding, and helping people deal with the situation would be involved, apparently not. But, to each their own.
I would still say that I would date a recovering alcoholic though, as long as they were aware that it is not an easy subject for some people to handle, and it takes trust and understanding on both parties parts to go through this, even if it involves finding outside sources to help with research, opinions, understanding, support and so on. Anyone who can say to themselves that they need to go find help, should be applauded. It is one of the best decisions a person can make. Thank you to everyone for your input. Sorry to say, it was all for nothing, but, gave me better understanding of the subject! Bye for now! | |
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| Would you date a recovering alcoholic?
Posted: 12/30/2005 1:07:15 PM | wanted one good man
What are you trying to prove. I don't want to date you ok. Calling me 13 times in the middle of the night is quite to much. Wisdom comes with age and experience, which you will learn as you mature. Your much too persistent and overbearing. It was all over when you told me you will put your " f*ck friend" on hold.
Good Luck! | |
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| Would you date a recovering alcoholic?
Posted: 12/30/2005 1:27:50 PM | Slseeker...if you just ended it with wantedonegoodman like that, in my opinion it was very uncool. Have some integrity and speak with her in person in private. Don't post stuff like that on a forum!
Take responsibility for your actions! While I congratulate you on your 50+ days of sobriety, there's lots of work to do to rid yourself of the fear and selfishness that's been running your life thus far. I strongly recommend getting a sponsor and working the steps. I am speaking from experience and I only want the best for you. Take good care of yourself, and one day at a time from south florida, ben. | |
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| Would you date a recovering alcoholic?
Posted: 12/30/2005 5:11:55 PM | | I think its great that he is in it already and is on his way to staying sober. Personally i could have an alcoholic as a friend but i wouldnt have a relationship with one. I like to have a drink from time to time. not get drunk but a beer at a picnic or wine in a restaurant type thing. I wouldnt want to be at a new years party and feeling bad for drinking my champagne while they have ginger ale. | |
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| Would you date a recovering alcoholic?
Posted: 12/31/2005 2:21:03 PM | | Benjammin, thanks for your support. I'm not really too concerned about what he wants to post. Those are his opinions, and he is entitled to them. I know that I just wanted to find out more about the subject, and try and figure some things out. Apparently, if that means that he has to say what he has said, then, so be it. To each their own. As I have said before, and will say again, I think it takes a lot of courage to be willing to go to AA and admit that there is a problem, and way to go, to anyone that does that. That shows some good character. | |
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| Would you date a recovering alcoholic?
Posted: 12/31/2005 2:57:06 PM | | wanted i have gone to aa meetings and alot of people there have long term sobriety. more people there have years of sobriety as apposed to those who dont, but its alway a risk and at least he knows himself well enough to get some help for it. I woujld see him still. | |
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| Would you date a recovering alcoholic?
Posted: 12/31/2005 7:52:15 PM | | Maybe he has a friend who is an alcoholic and he is trying to be supportive, won't know until you ask. I would not date a recovering alcoholic as I have been down this road before and my experience was horrid! | |
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| Would you date a recovering alcoholic?
Posted: 12/31/2005 7:55:40 PM | Date a recovering alcoholic...?
Is she cute?
What!?!?! Like half the men here weren't thinking that!!!
Seriously, it all depends on how many days they've been sober. Over 365? Possibly. Less than 20? Not as likely. | |
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| Would you date a recovering alcoholic?
Posted: 1/1/2006 7:50:49 AM | | No, no no no! I married a recovering alcoholic who became a recovering cocaine addict who then became a recovering prescription pain killer addict. In other words addiction leads to other addictions. Stay the hell away from those people. I learned the hard way! | |
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| Would you date a recovering alcoholic?
Posted: 1/1/2006 8:02:45 AM | | Thats pretty harsh, I think you should talk to them about it and dont second guess anything, but certainly dont play them about it and if you have serious second thoughts then maybe there not for u, Its likely very difficult for them as is. Anyways good luck | |
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| Would you date a recovering alcoholic?
Posted: 1/1/2006 9:15:26 AM | | i think it's great that he is taking a big step in his life to change his situation. Most people don't have the courage to do that. For me though i don't think i could date someone who had an that issue simply because my ex had the problem.....i guess it would depend on how long he had been sober and if he makes it a daily choice to stay strong.....i give alot of credit though for doing it. | |
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| Would you date a recovering alcoholic?
Posted: 1/1/2006 11:11:31 AM | FROM AA, TO NA. (NARCOTICS ANOMYNOUS) HE WILL ALWAYS STRUGGLE. IT HAS BEEN HIS CRUTCH FOR AS LONG AS HE DEPENDED ON IT.
WHEN HIS NEW CRUTCH LEAVES HIM, HE WILL GO BACK TO THE OLD ONE.
HE HAS TO CHANGE HIS SURROUNDINGS, AND CHOICE OF PEOPLE HE USE TO HANG WITH.
IT WILL BE HIS NEW WORLD. BE A PART OF HIS NEW WORLD. SUPPORT AND WALK WITH HIM. ATTEND MEETINGS WITH HIM. UNDERSTAND HIS OLD WORLD.
BUT...IF YOU HAVE ANY DOUBT...WALK AWAY NOW. YOU ARE HIS NEW CRUTCH. | |
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| Would you date a recovering alcoholic?
Posted: 1/1/2006 2:16:21 PM | | Someone who is doing something about their problem, is to be applauded. Their are far worse things than alcoholics in recovery for goodness sake. The only type of person who would have problems with a recovering alcoholic is a total pisshead who cant enjoy life without getting bombed out of their heads. Please dont post on alcoholism if you know nothing about it, as many of the posts here clearly do not. There are millions of recovering alcoholics in the world today, and most are very able people, when the drink is left alone. Trust me, there are far more dodgy types in the drinking world and even on these pages. Give it a go girl, good luck. | |
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