| | How come I sometimes hear from guys with kids when I state that I don't want to date fathersPage 2 of 4 (1, 2, 3, 4) | designingwoman,
Your profile states you would prefer someone without the kids.
Not unequivically that they must not have kids.
Be more clear.
Preferences are not the same as requirements.
I'd prefer a rich woman, but it hasn't worked out that way... but i would prefer!
Aloha.
ps, Check out the filmmaker dudes profile:
He states ' must not have kids...'
Must Not.
No preferences. Clear and to the point.
Getting what we want isn't the problem, Knowing what we want is...
State specifically what you want and don't want in a mate.
Those who don't fit and respond won't warrant any response on your part. | |
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| How come I sometimes hear from guys with kids when I state that I don't want to date fathers
Posted: 1/20/2006 3:40:49 PM | | I fully understand and support how the OP feels. People who write to people who they're trying to exclude in their profile are simply rude and inconsiderate. Period. People have a right to whatever preferences they choose to have, that's just the way it is. I can't imagine someone trying to argue their way into getting a date with someone, talk about starting off on the wrong foot. Yes, we all think we're great people and wonderful catches (cough) but give someone a break if they don't think you'll be the exception. You won't so don't even try. People HAVE preferences for a reason, and whether you agree with it or not doesn't matter. They owe you no explanation or should have to defend themselves. That's just being argumentative and an even BIGGER turn off than writing someone who is trying to exclude you anyway. That's just being egotistical and thick headed, write yourself a reality check! | |
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| How come I sometimes hear from guys with kids when I state that I don't want to date fathers
Posted: 1/24/2006 2:07:28 PM | Off-Topic/Flames = DELETED!
Such posts are in violation of the forum posting rules
Those who persist in violating these forum rules, in this thread WILL have their forum posting privileges revoked.
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For those who either willfully or out of ignorance are unaware of the topic of this forum?
SEE BELOW:
How come I sometimes hear from guys with kids when I state that I don't want to date fathers
I am wondering if anyone can clue me in as to why some men who have kids still send me messages on this and other dating sites when I specifically state that I am not interested in dating someone with kids?
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libbyv
| | Joined: 8/17/2005
Msg: 34 | |
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| How come I sometimes hear from guys with kids when I state that I don't want to date fathers
Posted: 1/25/2006 12:03:27 PM | Someone told me once that - at my age (37) I should expect people would have kids and such and to be more prepared for that.
I do not agree, alot of people are waiting longer to get married now, and alot of people don't have kids until they are older.
I know someone who married a gal and she had a child from someone else that was almost 10 years old. He adopted that child and they got divorced 6 mos later. Now he is paying child support for that child.
I do believe people should pay child support, don't get me wrong, but that child was in his life for 6 mos and not even his child!!
I think that is the kind of thing that scares people?
Weezy | |
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| How come I sometimes hear from guys with kids when I state that I don't want to date fathers
Posted: 7/2/2006 9:59:27 AM | [It's only fair that people READ profiles, because it is annoying to get messages from single fathers when I am not interested in getting in the middle of all that!]
Guess your mom never told you...LIFE"S NOT ALWAYS FAIR!!! With that said, just be flattered that someone took the time to write you in the first place. Simply write back with a pollite "thanks but no thanks."
Is it that far fetched, to possibly be friends with a person with children? Not everyone who messages you wants "in your pants" or in a relationship with you.....be polite...chat!!!! Make a friend!!!
If after chatting you don't want to be friendly simply tell the person, hopefully with tact.
Happy Fishing!!!
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| How come I sometimes hear from guys with kids when I state that I don't want to date fathers
Posted: 7/2/2006 11:09:54 AM |
Perhaps you should POF admins to add an option to block people with children.
I put in a request for this a few weeks ago. One of the points is it would prevent the problems the OP is going through with illiterate people flaming her for her preferences.
@OP
I’m sorry you’ve experienced so much trouble from this. Many of us DO appreciate that you took the time to outline your preferences to prevent misunderstandings. I really wish more women would take the time to state their preferences like you have done to avoid the READ/DELETED that frustrates so many people attempting initial contact.
Best of luck to you. Don’t let a few bad apples discourage you from being open about what you want. | |
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lmr87
| | Joined: 5/28/2006
Msg: 40 | |
| How come I sometimes hear from guys with kids when I state that I don't want to date fathers
Posted: 7/2/2006 10:27:39 PM | HI i was married for a very short time, a little over a year. I don't mind dating men with kids. but i can definitely respect where your comming.from a lot of women who don't want to get involved with men with kids are branded child haters. it is simply not the case in most cases. I also don't think you have to justify your reasons to anyone, there your reasons, and I'm sure there goods ones. don't let ANYONE make you think your wrong for your choices. If men with kids email you politely tell them to read your profile. Best of Luck to you | |
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| How come I sometimes hear from guys with kids when I state that I don't want to date fathers
Posted: 7/3/2006 12:18:35 AM | Honest opinion:
I agree with FilmmakerMike and steamcatcher! I've worked hard to be where I'm at today, successful, stable, and would be a great father. I have a wonderful supportive family, great education, and and the works -- just a need a woman to share with.
I've met lot's of wonderful women here in a short period of time here -- but unfortunately some turned to be single moms and along comes the baggage. Some of these are great women but unfortunately I don't want to be the father of "other" people's kids in which case (you're not actually a "true" father) and/or a fix to other people's problems.
I develop and manage softare that runs some of the big utility companies in Alberta (Canada) and it would be a major disruption in my client's operations and my personal life to get caught into any personal mess like what could evolve and (at best) maintaining someone else's kids and fixing their probs at sacrifice to me any everyone around me.
Honestly -- about fully reading everyone's ad and what their interests are -- I'm not actually concerned much about interests (as long as they are in the "norm") was long as we agree on the "major" big things (such as kids).
Everyone has heard of how a husband likes certain things that the wife does not and vice versa -- but they agree on the "major" topics. and that's what makes things actually work! Everyone likes camping, the outdoors, adventure, ect... to the point where it's essentially meaningless. Focus on the big issues.
Although I may might respond to people with children -- I found in the past it is a challenge in the dating and relationship phases! I play a key role in a lot of important things and it does break my heart and burns me out to focus on things like that.
Hope this helps for the orginal poster! | |
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| How come I sometimes hear from guys with kids when I state that I don't want to date fathers
Posted: 7/3/2006 5:06:43 AM | Maybe they just really like something about your profile and they are hoping that you will like something about theirs enough to make an exception for them.
Do you mean that there is no way that you would ever become involved with a man that has children? Don't you think you run the risk of missing out on what could be the perfect man for you?
At my age I certainly don't want to be giving birth to any children, but if I met the right man and he had kids, it certainly wouldn't bother me at all. It would be all the same, if he had them once in a blue moon, or if he had them everyday of the year. | |
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| How come I sometimes hear from guys with kids when I state that I don't want to date fathers
Posted: 7/3/2006 7:22:12 AM | Just had to sound off on this one, because I'm dealing with the same thing.
I don't have children of my own, and I don't think that I ever really want to. I'm a teacher. I work with 20+ kids every day of my life, and I love them, but there's just something about being able to send them home at the end of the day and enjoying the peace and quiet. I don't want to have to spend another 4-5 hours "entertaining" at home, too. Besides I've seen my fair share of people who have kids, and should never, EVER have been allowed to be parents. I've got nephews to spoil whenever I need a "fix" and that's enough for me.
Some people tell me I'm selfish for thinking the way I do. But to me, selfish is having children then deciding that you didn't really want them because they tie you down - I've known LOTS of people with that mindset. Selfish is saying "No, I don't mind that you have kids already", then telling the person a month or six months down the road that it's a problem. Selfish is two parents who get together and never bother to ask their kids how they feel about it ... the parents are happy, but the kids are miserable. Or the parents who hop from one boyfriend/girlfriend/live-in to the next and never for one minute consider how it's affecting their child(ren). I've watched Dr. Phil enough to know that it doesn't always work out, and I've taught for long enough that I feel like a mother to most of the children in my class.
My profile says that I don't want children... that means mine or anyone else's. | |
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| How come I sometimes hear from guys with kids when I state that I don't want to date fathers
Posted: 5/26/2012 7:45:54 AM | | Come on I do agree with Kathy there there reason is at this point I want a guy for myself for long weekend romantic evening go to beach hiking dinner movie just two of us tools our own memories not interrupted by phones from the ex. Plus I would le to have two kids myself n someone who already has two doesn't prop want to have four n neither do I | |
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| How come I sometimes hear from guys with kids when I state that I don't want to date fathers
Posted: 5/26/2012 7:48:36 AM | The message you are replying to:
Posted By: 66cruiser on 1/24/2006 6:09:48 PM
Subject: How come I sometimes hear from guys with kids when I state that I don't want to date fathers
Message: Well, I read the profiles and as soon as I see that someone has kids I move on to the next profile. Other peoples offspring have cost me far too much heartache, aggravation and money in the past and I will stay alone before I subject myself to that again.
Very agree same here plus very limited time for me n him doing stuff alone | |
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| How come I sometimes hear from guys with kids when I state that I don't want to date fathers
Posted: 5/30/2012 8:47:57 PM | I have the same problem. Not only these guys have children, they make less money, smoke, and everything I am not into. There are guys who would try to argue and convince me that I am old and can't have kids now so its best for me to be with someone who have kids. Texas have common law, and these idiots are just out there to scam some hard working person. It mostly happen to guys but I have known of women who have to give away thier property becuase they met a guy who stop working and then lawyered up and took her assets. But anything you have acquired before the marriage or union is offlimit.
Main thing is that these guys have no respect of others choice. They are just selfish | |
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