| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 2/20/2008 9:43:06 PM | I'm starting to think that when people waggle their tongues about it they are simply jealous. They want it themselves but don't have the courage to step out of the box. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 3/18/2008 1:18:45 PM | It could work but I don't think it would last very long. It may be an older guys dream to have fun with a Teenager but she is also missing out on things like College and all the things that go along with it
Probably not the smartest girl in the world or she has some serious daddy issues .She wants to be a spoiled pampered gold digging princess and never have to work a day in her life.
I hope the guy has a Good Prenup as she will probably having fun with the Pool Boy as she gets tired of her husband. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 3/25/2008 5:53:24 PM | | OK read all these posts and i see both sides. In fact i have a daughter and i wouldn't want her to date a 40 year old guy if she was 18. However, the one thing i want for my daughter is for her to be with someone who truly loves her....period. If she is 18 then i've taught her well. if she chooses that guy and i see he treats her right and she smiles everytime she mentions his name, what more could a father want for his daughter? so I'd be torn with it being her father. Now this is going to be the kicker.....i have met a wonderful woman and guess how old she is? you guessed it 18. thing is a lot of women our age have these hang ups with men, they've all treated her bad, blah, blah, blah, my sweetheart doesn't have all those hangups. I don't plan on giving her any hangups either. I know people will look or maybe not. I don't look anywhere near 40 so i lucked out. It's not just about having a hot body to band just because she's young. i've been with 50 year old women with killer bodies however their baggage gets in the way. it's emotional baggage. so I ask you, is it that wrong? Now reverse the situation. A 18 year old banging his older teacher what do you think most people would say? yeah they would say, good job buddy you got some good experience. not as many people would bat an eyebrow over that. it's a double standard and personally i think older women are a little jealous. not all of them but some. they messed up and got divorced and are now out there wondering why nobody will stay with them. well we don't want all that baggage. guys don't hold onto emotional baggage like that. with an older woman it seems to always come out. with a younger woman you might get some immature jealousy but i'd take that anyday over an older woman that thinks you're like all the other guys when you're actually just a nice guy. if a younger woman falls for an older guy it could be actually the best thing that has ever happened to her if she finds a good one. yeah there's creepy ones out there but also good guys. so even though i agree with both sides, i think if both treat each other right, there's no problem with it. it could be a wonderful experience for both and who knows what would happen.....life happens. if you both discuss the pitfalls early on so no one gets hurt, there is no foul. and the women on here that are disguisted by the age gap, would you say the same thing if you're 40 year old single mom was banging the pool boy....i highly doubt it. You all would be like.....awwww.......she's so lucky. I'm glad she's happy. Exactly my point! | |
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custis
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Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 280 | |
| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 3/25/2008 6:01:48 PM | | I think that it is between her and her man. It is not up to us who should love who and we do not know anything about the relationship. For all we know they may each be exactly what the other needs. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 3/26/2008 8:52:16 AM | ...And to think I have second thoughts whenever they exceed a six year range in age difference...SHEESH!
Oh well..."Whatever floats your boat..." Legally, there's not a thing anyone can do about it...and the whole thing IS between them, and strictly their business...
Spank me...Daddy! | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 3/26/2008 9:22:42 AM | Untill recently this type of relationship was fairly normal.
And in asia and rural europe it still is considered normal.
Traditionaly it took years for a man to build up enough money to afford to marry, So men would remain unmarried untill well into their 30s and 40s. But while a man had to bring wealth and property to the marriage, a woman had only to bring fertility.
The result was an abundance of 14 year old brides marrying 40 year old men.
Of course there was no such thing as dating. (and no "single life"). Marriages were contracts between men. Women were just another barganing chip.
A woman who was not married by age 16 was considered an "old maid", and was subjected to scorn and periodic accusations of witchcraft. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 4/7/2008 11:17:23 AM | There are so many single Moms out there, they have children from young men, who can't or wont except responcibility for there children, its a wonder that more do not find older men
i have always dated women in my age range, so this is not really about me, but, i can see the why younger women would want an older man, they would be treated with much more respect | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 4/7/2008 12:55:09 PM | | i believe it can work, my parents had 20 years difference between them, and they had a wonderful relationship,that being said, i personaly have never had a relationship with anybody more than 6 years younger, but i know a few friends that have much younger wives,it works, nothing scarier than a younger woman that wants to have a relationship with someone her own age,lets face it an 18 year old does not have the maturity to take care of children, for that matter most boys that age only think of one thing | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 4/30/2008 9:09:49 PM | i doubt this will work.this is too extreme age difference lol
but i have one thing to say to the old man.way to go pops! 
must be quite an ego boost for him lol | |
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T474T
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Joined: 3/10/2008
Msg: 286 | |
| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 4/30/2008 9:53:30 PM | | i know a girl who dated a guy 40 yrs her senior for over a year. I dont think it really matters age wise. If they connect mentally whats the difference? | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 4/30/2008 10:23:03 PM | This sort of thing was normal and accepted for hundreds of years. In fact, often women between 16 and 22 would marry older, established men in their 40's and 50's, especially widowers. In the past 50-75 years, things have changed. I think there are some other issues at play here, such as jealousy by men who wished a young and beautiful girl would even give them the time of day, and by women who feel threatened because of men who choose much younger women. We also live in an age where morals and political correctness are largely influenced by a rabid press, the same press who this week has made mincemeat of Miley Cyrus.
That being said, I think 18 is also an age where people are just beginning to find themselves. They might be attracted to someone much older, and are also likely to feel much differently in five or 10 years, by which time the much older man is seriously older. The relationship has a good probability of ending then, or at least changing into something different. I wonder what such a couple even has to say to each other on a daily basis. Personally, I've always preferred women over 40, although I would consider the rare younger woman who can rock my world and live in it. I also say, whatever works -- and if two people are consenting adults, then I wish them all blessings.
As to someone's comment about such a pairing looking like "borderline pedophilia," well, for one thing, the term "pedophilia" has been misconstrued for some time, according to Wikipedia. It refers to the unnatural lust or sexual obsessions for pre-pubescent young children and pre-teens. "Lolita" was only 12. In our society, for thousands of years, women as young as 12 to 15 were considered ready for marriage. The age of consent in our country was much lower in the 19th century. Today, in most states the legal age is 18, and in some, younger. New York's is 17, and New Jersey's is 16. Some countries have even younger ages of consent, and it is simply a difference in cultural viewpoint. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 4/30/2008 10:30:13 PM | I think the whole idea is insane.
I can see what an 18 year old would want from a 40 year old. It's the total daddy complex and older guys can be exciting, appear wise and mature, which a young girl would easily grasp onto. However, what would a 40 year old man, with 40 years of life expirience want with an 18 year old? Honestly? What would an 18 year old have to offer, other than allowing such a man to relive his youth and boost his ego so he doesn't feel so old? | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 4/30/2008 10:37:31 PM | I would have to say I have no desire below the age of legal consent ( age 21). Beyond that I really don't use age as a factor. I look at beauty, desire and compatibility. Compatibility being defined as how two people get along with each other. So I very well might write to a 28 year old woman here or a 60 year old woman . The number has no meaning for me in regard to maturity. I think if you really think about it you won't find many things 50 year old man can't do that a woman in her 20's can.
If it is a thing where " I care about what my friends would think if they saw us together" Then I think your focus on relationships is more about show and less about love.
I think it is very important to find someone you'll really be happy with. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 4/30/2008 11:45:36 PM | | Nobody should be married when they are only 18, they don't have a clue what they will want when they grow up. A 40 year old who would take advantage of someone's youth and immaturity is unlikely to be a good person to try to make a marriage with. Of course there are always exceptions, but really, she'll more than likely grow up and one day want nothing more than to run screaming into the night. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 5/1/2008 5:30:39 AM | everything is true and everything is a lie
none of us have met this girl or this man... so who the f8ck nose..
a white woman and a black man... a hamster and dwarf.. a middle class neurotic and a workaholic peasant.. a christian virgin and a three legged satanist..
All these relationships have their pros and cons.. but probably interesting lessons to teach if the people are attracted to each other... But most importantly there is more going on with any pair of individuals than these simple labels..
No one can predict the future... only do their best with an open heart and see what happens?? As long as she does not sign her name in blood when she ties the knot
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 5/6/2008 9:07:36 PM | I have been a member of this site for a few years now. I actually just deactivated my profile out of respect for the woman I met a few months ago and am dating. I actually was curious to see what others in this type of relationship had to say (not what others had to say about them). I specifically wanted some information from other 18-year-old women that had relationships with 40-year-old men, and what their feelings were. Oddly, my search put me back here at the fish.
My reason for posting is not to argue, but simply to state what I know so that others in this situation might realize that it is a relationship built on two people who might have more to offer each other than anyone else can, not a match of numbers.
First of all, 18 is not a child. For that matter neither is 15, 16, or 17 if the person has been raised to make their own decisions (or forced to make their own decisions), and not have someone tell them what their decisions should be. The United States seems to take the award inhibiting and discouraging maturity amongst its youth. I can assure you nothing happens to the brain of a 17-year-old at midnight when they become 18. Some were mature at 15, some will die an old age without being mature. Eighteen is a legal number, not a magic number.
My interest in this thread is that I actually am 40, and the woman I met is... 18. So, I think I can answer a few questions and break a few myths.
- “He will be dead way before her.” Maybe, maybe not. If it is true love, why wait for the next “perfect” love to appear? SHE may be dead before the opportunity exists again for her. This may be it. Do not let it pass you by. Why not make the best of something real (assuming the love is unique and special). He may also not be dead that soon. Most 40-year-old men that attract young women (aside from the rich ones) are often fit. Even I have a 4-pack (not quite a 6-pack) at 40. I also would not tell me dentist’s father that he should be dead already - the man is still practicing medicine at 100.
- “Why not find one my own age?” I have, just not one that loved me like this one.
- “What could I possible get from her besides sex?” Actually, the sex with 30 and 40-year-old women was hot and good. I do not need money or support... Hmm, maybe the ability to love strongly. Someone attractive that could capture all my attention (although that is not age-related).
Neither of us were seeking the age difference. I never would have thought that I could take someone that young seriously, and she was not seeking anyone over 35. She actually made first contact, and we just talked. It went from there.
So far, we have only discussed the numbers. Many forget that every person has unique experiences, and that it is that, more than the numbers that could make it work or fail. Like the couple that caused this thread to be initiated, no one knows the actual people. Will it work for us? I am optimistic. Why? This woman has done something very hard to do - she has gained 100% of my respect, as well as won my heart.
At 18, she has already worked for 7 years, and still works full-time while taking professional classes. She is a survivor that has overcome things most people will never have to know, and in conditions most will never endure. She is also the sweetest woman I have ever met. (For those that might be a little confused, I am an American living in another country where I met her). Do not ever underestimate someone by numbers; it is simply not enough information. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 5/7/2008 3:19:41 AM | im an 18 year old girl and i can tell you that i would never consider a 40 year old man, nevermind getting married to him.it would be too weird, like marrying my dad!!
but i do know some girls my age that find the older man attractive. but i dont actually think they would marry them. in this day and age 18 is far too young to get married to anyone!! | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 5/7/2008 4:34:12 AM | | Age doesn't matter until it does. I had a lover for 15 years who is 20 years my senior. He has so many qualities as a man that I never found in someone closer to my own age. For one, he understands that women are multidimensional and mysterious. He always made me feel accepted, special, loved, heard, appreciated. He valued my intelligence and made me feel beautiful. We broke up last summer. He is about to turn 70 and our lives are just in different places. It is all good. I learned so much from him. I am grateful for the time we had together. It was simply time to move on. I can only speak for myself. To each their own as long as it doesn't debase the human race is my take on things. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 5/7/2008 4:47:46 AM |
What the hell is a 40-yr old doing with an 18 yr. old??... Yeah, I know it's legal, but WTF?!?!?
To me, it borders right on the line of pedophilia. IMHO
She's an adult, a woman, not a child.
If a 40 year old woman hooked up with an 18 year old guy would you think that borders on pedophilia too? | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 5/7/2008 4:48:09 AM | Exactly MelissaNicole,
The answer will vary with the mental and emotional matury levels of both people. If the guy is not as mature as most 40 year olds he just may be right on the level of that 18 year old. She could also be more mature for her age than usual. Remember it wasn't too long ago that people were commonly married at 15,16 and many of these unions (ask your grand parents!) last 50 or 60 years!
Yes, statistics may be against them but they just might be that combination of maturity that lasts, when that happens the age gap is completely irrelevant. This assumes of course that other more materialistic reasons are not behind the union, like the guy wanting a young trophy or the young lady wanting a daddy figure or sugar daddy.
I wish them all success, with the rate of divorce at what they are in the US, more power to those that can find long lasting relationships I say! | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 5/7/2008 5:45:41 AM | | Perhaps the guy had trouble throughout his life of finding someone his own age, especially if he never married and had no kids. Probably because most women his age are either married and have kids. He wanted to be with someone that could still have children and would love him for him. Nobody knows the dynamics of the situation between these two. Doesn't sound that bad in today's world when you need all the love you can get. | |
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