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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 5/9/2008 2:34:18 PM | | legally when you turn 18 you are considered an "adult" but what about emotionally? 18 year olds are still kids, at least the ones i have known were. think back when you were that age, were you mature enough for marriage and all it's responsibilities?? probably not. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 5/9/2008 2:43:12 PM | | Given the "emotional maturity" argument, does that mean it's okay for a man who is 40 but has the emotional maturity of an 18 year old to be dating her? | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 5/9/2008 3:32:02 PM | i agree with you 100% age has nothing to do when it comes to LOVE. i think she has doen the right thing, well look around you all the young 18/20 years boys, they have no responsibilty soon they see another prity face with a pair of nice ****** they forget they already have a girl. where this 40 years old is not going to enjoy her is also will love her for been his wife.And oh yes dont forget the exprinces he would have in making love and make her heppy.. Yes so i think she is doen the right thing. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 5/9/2008 7:45:53 PM | Most the time in these relationships it's the woman's maturity level not the man's that's in question. Generally these relationships happen because the woman is well beyond her years and wants a relationship with someone on the same imtellectual level. 22 year old men can keep telling these women how great their boobs are...but these women want good conversation and mental stimulation.
It happen the other night in my cab...I picked up a young couple from a resturant/lounge...He kept saying, "Isn't she hot!!!!"....the young women on the other hand kept pushing him away as he was trying to make out in the back seat...and seemed much more interested in talking to me about 70s and 80s rock music. One night I drove a young waitress home and we talked about a show on I saw that night about the Iranian Embasy Hostage Taking. We got into the discussing the what has been going on in the Middle East over the past 50 years and I filled her in on the Hostage Taking, where the yellow ribbons came from (The song by Dawn...and the ribbons where first put around trees doing the Embasy Seige)and the Shah of Iran, Saddam and the US government supporting those two dictators as they rid the Middle East of Communists. When I got her home she said that it was very nice meeting me and that was great conversation. Now if I was 22 I probably would have just told her what great boobs she had.
Susan Saradon who is married to a much younger man said that being with someone from another generation is really exciting cause we have much to talk about and learn from each other.
A fellow I used to work with has been married to his wife for over 30 years...he married her when he was 38 and she was 21. They have children, grandchildren, and they are basically are together always.
It works. One woman on her said the statistics show that couples with a 10-15 year age difference have lower divorce rates.
A woman might have great boobs...but the intelligent ones are smart enough to know that...so they really don't need to be told that. They want to talk about something else. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 5/9/2008 8:00:36 PM | I can understand a teenager mistaking lust for love, thinking they are grown and thing their level of experience is adequate to make those decisions. At 18 most think they are well past grown and capable of making those kind of decisions.
Only years later with the benefit of actual experience and a few more years of maturity do they look back and realize what an idiot they were at that age.
When I see couples where the guy is much older and the woman is very young, I can't help but think the guy is a predator. I think they tell these women they love them and rush a marriage along as a way to consolidate their conquest. They want to throw some binds on the relationship where the woman, in theory, can't just pack her stuff and leave once she wakes up and realizes the mistake she made.
In my younger years I have dated women much younger than myself, but I would never get involved with one that serious because I thought the early 20s was just too young for that.
I think middle age men who marry these young women are using their experience to bullchip and fool them.
A big age difference isn't bad, but there is a hell of a experience and maturity difference 18-30 as opposed to 28-40. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 5/9/2008 8:08:11 PM |
Most the time in these relationships it's the woman's maturity level not the man's that's in question. Generally these relationships happen because the woman is well beyond her years and wants a relationship with someone on the same imtellectual level.
I don't think so. If anything I would suspect the young bride is less mature than her cohorts. Most 18 year old women know some 40 year old guy paying her attention is just looking for some young piece of ass who also doesn't see through all his BS. The ones who wind up marrying old geezers do so because they actually think they have a lot in common with someone over twice their age. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 5/9/2008 11:08:48 PM | some 40 yr old guys are slow bloomers and didn't even kiss till way after age 18.
I use to think a similar age of men to women would be most suitable, but after seeing how in past years the men were often so much older and even in 3rd world countries today the average age difference is 15 years, it seems that to avoid many of the problems that are faced in our society of women competing with men is for the men to have been long established financially and in wisdom to be more fully accepted by females.
I turned down women whom were younger than myself and now I wish I didn't. I wasn't even of the understanding as I mentioned above. There is some rationale behind it even though superficially it seems that it may not be right. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 5/10/2008 6:04:47 AM | | Depends on the maturity level most 18 year olds arent very mature even though I have met a couple that are. As for the 40 year old man he sounds like he may have some serious issues. Perhaps he cant pick up someone his own age | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 5/10/2008 6:47:53 AM | As a 43 year old I got lots of women in their 40s and 30s that want to go out with me, however I'm looking for someone to have children with for the next 20 years. I've always said find me a great looking 35 year old that we can have together til she's in her mid-50s and I'll go on a date with her. As I said in my profile...I've been looking for this woman for 20 years. Basically, she's a BYU college football cheerleader. 85% of the players on the BYU football team are married. Maybe me and this woman would have a couple of kids before she graduates from college. She's a little bit country, I'm a little bit rock'n'roll. I miss the Donny And Marie Show...How many Osmond brothers were there?
Maybe the 40 year old in question is a lot like me. Has been waiting all his life to have a family of his own.
Humphery Bogart became a father for the first time at 49 with 24 year old Lauren Bacall. I don't think Bogey was immature, probably extremely wise and much beyond the stature of most males. Charlie Chaplin and his wife had 8 children. Charlie married his wife when he was 54 and she was 18.
M | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 5/10/2008 7:03:23 AM | If both are consenting adults who have chosen to build a future together who are we to judge their choices. We may not like the choices some people make but that is the great thing about living in todays world - we actually have a choice. If we make the wrong choice we pay the consequences but I am willing to pay that price for the freedom to choose my own path in life. We don't have to please society at large - so long as we are not breaking laws or committing acts against humanity I don't see an issue here.
For myself I have no interest in drastically younger or older men - they don't hold any appeal to me (I prefer men in my own generation) but it's all about personal preferences and the freedom to choose for ourselves what we want in life. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 5/10/2008 2:47:37 PM | | When I was 19 I married the coolest man I had ever met, and he was 38. Our marriage lasted 7 years, and it really was great. My father (God rest his soul) stayed with my husband and I durring his seperation from my mother for 8 months, and would comment often on how wonderful our communication was, and how we never fought, and just talked thru our problems. Altimately our marriage failed, as many marriages do, for no reason to do with our age difference at all. He's a great guy that I will always love, I would do it again in a heart beat. I did not have Daddy issues, or anything else. I was raised to look at people for who they are as a whole. Age really played little to no factor in our marriage. I enjoyed reading this thread. Thanks. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 5/10/2008 3:09:47 PM | | Should be no surprise to you that your post is offensive, and I'm sure you must hear that from many women in real life, if your attitude is truly that bad. My older husband, was no great looker, even though he was one hell of a cool cat, and not far into the marriage I was making the same money as him. With him it was a true "LOVE" match, nothing else. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 5/10/2008 3:18:45 PM | When I was 19 I married the coolest man I had ever met, and he was 38. Our marriage lasted 7 years, and it really was great. My father (God rest his soul) stayed with my husband and I durring his seperation from my mother for 8 months, and would comment often on how wonderful our communication was, and how we never fought, and just talked thru our problems.
Personally, I have found that the healthiest relationships are the ones where the couples do talk through their issues, rather than trying to one-up each other in a vicious game of blame. In that regard, I can see how marrying an older man would have advantages since it takes us at least a decade of dating to learn how to communicate with the opposite sex. Obviously, I'm not the same person that I was in my teens and twenties and have learned the art of biting my tongue (not here on the forums, though...lol), taking a deep breath, and searching for the heart of the issue. It is about being attentive and acknowledging feelings, whether you feel they are valid or not. It is about valuing their thoughts, hopes, and dreams as being centrally important to your world. When I was teen, I always thought the women were just crazy or pms'ing. Age and maturity does bring some wisdom. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 5/10/2008 4:44:36 PM | It is nice to finally hear something from the women that married at 18. Here is another post I found from a woman that was 18.
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Is_it_wrong_for_a_30-year-old_man_to_date_an_18-year-old_woman_if_you_know_it's_legal_and_you_both_care_for_each_other | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 5/10/2008 5:46:42 PM | Should be no surprise to you that your post is offensive, and I'm sure you must hear that from many women in real life, if your attitude is truly that bad. My older husband, was no great looker, even though he was one hell of a cool cat, and not far into the marriage I was making the same money as him. With him it was a true "LOVE" match, nothing else.
This was written in response to post 42. I must have done something wrong in posting this. Sorry. | |
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dad47
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Joined: 3/21/2008
Msg: 346 | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 5/11/2008 5:41:30 PM | I was 17 when I met my sons father who was 34 at the time. It was only a couple of years ago but I was very young minded then and just so trusting. (He also has the brain mentality of a teenager) I realize now that he must have serious mental issues to be sneaking over my house when my mom wasnt home at night. I eventually did tell my mom but by that time it was almost my 18th birthday so there wasnt much she could do, if it wasnt for my son I would wish she would have. I sometimes think to myself what was wrong with me lol, but I was just a kid compared to me now.
An 18 year old and 40 year old have NOTHING in common. At that age you are just starting out, and a 40 year old man is (or should be) very settled in his adult life which a teenager is not. Teenagers want to go out with their friends and have fun, not sit in and have a settled life, for the most part anyway. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 5/11/2008 6:11:06 PM | I wonder if those that think this is ok, what be ok if it were the woman that was the older person. I wouldn't date much less marry someone 29, but in general would it be ok for a 51 year old woman to marry a 29 year old man(29 instead of 18, because 51 is 11 years older than the age of 40. The age of the man in this situtation.) Let's even throw in the idea that this 29 year old man already has 3 children from another marriage and doesn't want anymore children. These two people love each other, get along perfectly, have much in common.
When I was 18, and lived near the beach and men as old as 40 tried to get me to date them, I just found it nasty. Just thought of them as a dirty old man trying to get in my pants. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 5/12/2008 2:07:44 PM | even at 16 marrying a 70 yr old playboy like hue heffner is fine.. cupids arrow strikes many in mysterious ways.
my first incident with a women was when I was 6 when this 8 yr old girl- who is still friends btw ( obviously knew what sex was before me ) started checking me out.. at that age your pretty innocent and just curious... so I was like umm thats cool now pull down your pants.. cool so thats what it looks like.. and was wondering what it does... does it have a button etc..
Anyway I stayed uncorrupted till I was 21... YES 2 1 !! it all depends on the women... I have seen 50 yr olds that look like they are 35 I have seen 16 yr olds that look 25. Then there is the emotional maturity debacle which is another 5000 word thesis in itself and I dont have enough time in a day to go over it.. the gist is.. case by case.. to each their own.
You have to take these things on a case by case basis but.. for me .. I personally prefer older women because the majority under 35 are clueless about what they really want in life and lack life experiences and can talk the talk but cant walk the walk.
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 5/12/2008 2:16:29 PM | Re the Opost
IMO age difference matters more in marriage, less in a relationship. Because marriage is a LT thing and in the LT age differences matter! And love is one thing, marriage is another. As per "maturity", we either consider a legally adult an adult, or we adopt the communist ideology that adults are not really adults and need a big brother state or something to run their lives. I was an adult when I was 18. Those who think that 18 is not adult should lobby to change the age of adulthood. And men and women today at 18 are more exposed to life than I was at 18, back in 1980, 28 years ago!!! | |
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