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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/6/2008 5:11:59 PM | I'll ditto Charles and the other sane respondents. Let's just hope that 18 year old is mature enough not to stick her nose into other people's choices as if she were fit to make their choices for them.
For that matter, let's hope for the same from the 40 year old. And from YOU, fishie!
Cheers!
Vulf  | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/6/2008 6:08:55 PM | | why are people against something they cant control we can only control ourself no opinions will change other peoples minds we arent athority figures about what age people need to be when they marry they are legal all i can say is good for them.i know i wouldnt want anyone juding me on who i married no one else would like this themself this is an opinion not a despute ok just giving my opinion' | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/11/2008 8:41:52 AM | There's nothing wrong with an age difference as long as both people are mature enough to handle their partnership on even and mutually respectful terms.
The only problem is that that often is not the case, which is why society arbitrarily looks down upon it. There are far too many naive young women who love the mystique of an older man. There are also far too many older men who prey upon young women because they're easier or "sexier" targets. It's a dangerous game to get into because someone is often in it without a clear head. But I'm sure it can work if the couple is both honest, mature, and legitimately care for one another. | |
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.all.
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Joined: 9/29/2007
Msg: 407 | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/11/2008 9:06:24 AM | Did anyone who recently posted notice that this thread is 3 years old. So that means that she is 21 and he is 43. If this couple is still married what about the situation now? Does the opinion change now that 3 years of marriage and growing have come about?
Does the age gap somehow "narrows" now that 3 years have came and gone? What if the roles was reversed and it was a younger man (21) with a older woman (43)? Would the harsh opinions of being a perv or the younger guy having "mommy" issues. Or would it be accepted?
Best of luck to everyone  | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/11/2008 9:08:02 AM | | I am sorry if people will not like this but you are correct .all. and I agree fully...When you have such an age gap like this one person will always either have to mature really fast to be at the level of a forty year old or the forty year old has to digress down to the level of an 18 year old...it is not fair on either party to have to do that...No matter how nice we are trying to be or how obvious it is that the some (not all) men around the 40 year range seem to have no problem with it, think of this...you know your daughter, let's say you have one...you know that at 18 even IF she is the most responsible mature 18 year old in the world, you know there is no way you would let some old man...too me at 18, 40 was old!, touch your daughter let alone marry him...if we are going to be completely honest with ourselves...Age does have it's importance...I am 30 I wouldn't date a 14 year old even though it is legal...here in Canada the age now is 14...he might be super mature and whatever but to me its shows that I don't think I have anything to offer someone my age, that I am ego tripping a little and that I am extremely immature...my opinion | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/11/2008 9:40:37 AM | Well put Intell girl. The thing is, age IS an arbitrary number that manking invented to measure the passage of time. Some people are very mature at a young age, and vice versa. So I do think it's possible. I just don't think it usually happens for the right reasons, which (somewhat justifiably) makes people look at big age gaps as sick.
It's the girls who want older guys because it's "cool" and the guys who prey on young women because older ones don't fall for their schemes that need to be dealt with. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/11/2008 9:48:26 AM | In the gym I go to, there is a very pretty young lady. She is always smiling and happy looking. I think she is from Columbia originally.
Turns out she is 26 and her husband who brought her to America is.....get ready for this....SIXTY SEVEN!
But hey, she is one of the happiest looking people around. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/11/2008 10:42:49 AM | | Life has a way of maturing some more quickly than others. I was the youngest kid in the neighborhood- if I wanted to hang with the 18yr olds when I was 14- I had to mature. There was nothing lost-I don't feel like i Missed my childhood. Then when I was 18 the man I dated was 36- I adored him- and he was no sugar daddy by any means. I am just more comfortable around older men- I relate better to older men and I was born the year my husband (ex) graduated from high school, but at 24 & 42- age wasn't an issue. We adored each other- and still do. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/11/2008 11:27:31 AM | | Many young girls who grew up without a dad or their father was controling and disapproving of their ways, when meeting older men who seem to be nice, caring, loving and supportive, fall for such men. They need approval from an adult male - an authority. Especially, when such girls were not popular in high-school and did not have a boyfriend. They fall in love with high-school teachers who showed them some attention. They are grateful for being chosen. Others feel power over a grown-up male. This girl, perhaps, wanted to get married and have a special wedding and this man could offer her all that. Or she could hate living at home with her parents and wanted a family of her own with a man who can provide a comfortable lifestyle she needed unlike many boys of her age......For many older men it is A DREAM COME TRUE. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/11/2008 11:36:14 AM | | what is the point of this post if they love each what is the problem end of story, there are too many people out there to criticise but that is only because they are jealous of it and do not say you are not because guess what you are. i am 40 and i would have no problem dating an 18 year old myself i would do it and not that does not make me bad it makes me liberal and non prudish and non ageist so there, chances are though i would not get one as i been here now two years and not meet anyone but hey i do not criticise the site | |
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cashu
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Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 415 | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/12/2008 6:41:51 PM | I don't know why people feel the guy is getting the better "deal".
What kind of life would she have if she married an 18 year old? If she became pregnant what 18 year old guy could support her and a child? It's almost certain they wouldn't have their own home. Most likely a second hand car that took any extra money assuming there was any extra. And how many 18 year old guys will give up what most 18 year old guys want to do?
As for those questioning how one would react if they had a daughter that age I can tell you most 40 year old guys would treat an 18 year old gal much better than an 18 year old guy would.
And let's look at something else. Let's suppose your son-in-law asks to borrow your new Acura or offers to look after your home while you're on vacation. Would you feel more comfortable with an 18 year old or a 40 year old handling that responsibility? I hope there isn't anyone who would trust someone with the care of their daughter but not with the care of their car or home. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/12/2008 6:50:59 PM | She is looking for her father. She is hoping he will give her the things she missed from her father, or is missing from her father. She is a "Daddy's girl". She will outgrow this.
On the other hand, he will never get over her, when she leaves him. He is acting somewhat predatory, and should consider his own level of maturity, when it comes to relating to someone under age. He is borderlining on statuatory rape laws. They both have some problems. This is a situation that will not last. She will want a life.....and soon. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/12/2008 7:08:12 PM | 18
Votes
Can join the military to kill or maim with Government approval.
Can enter into contracts
Has a drivers license
Should we add to this list.
Oh yeah and the horny 23 year old male (that's still trying to find how many "G.I. Joe Kung Fu Grips" he can amass) is a viable contender as well?
Wrong or Right it's their decision. The odds are against them but never-the-less we do not know the maturity of these individuals and are assuming that they are idiots.
I know 18 year girls that know when to end a relationship vs some 45 year olds that keep getting cheated on, knocked upside the head and are begging for the guy to stay.
and... | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/12/2008 7:22:34 PM |
What kind of life would she have if she married an 18 year old?
Who said she HAD to get married at 18 in the first place?
If she became pregnant what 18 year old guy could support her and a child?
SHE could eventually support HER OWN SELF and her child by going to college after the baby is born like millions of other women have done before her and will continue to do long after we're all dead and gone.
It's almost certain they wouldn't have their own home.
Who cares? After my first "older" husband abandoned me and his two children penniless on the street with only the clothes on our backs (literally), we lived in a small one bedroom apartment on welfare while I went to college. We survived. And what didn't kill us made us stronger.
"Most likely a second hand car..."
Again...who cares? I never had a car. My kids and I walked. And I got myself one of those "granny buggy" and carried my groceries and laundry in it. A second hand wooden sleigh did the trick in the wintertime. Didn't even have a washing machine.
And when money was really tight and I couldn't afford the Laundromat, I would ask my upstairs neighbor if I could soak my clothes in her tub. Because I didn't have a tub either. And because she was poor too, we'd soak our clothes together.
Then we'd get our next door neighbor, Marc, to come over and help us wring our heaviest clothes (like jeans and towels ) as he had great big strong hands. Haha. And he'd do all that for a coffee and a chat and a genuine thank you. Bless his soul. Those were the good old days and as hard as they were, I wouldn't trade them for all the riches in the world.
Anyway...as far as the original topic...to me it's not about the age difference. I couldn't care less if a 60 years old marries a 28 year old. I don't care if it's an older man marrying a younger woman or vice versa.
Same as I wouldn't care what anyone would think if I should decide to marry a 30 year old tomorrow. You could all laugh your heads off at this old fool and I'd laugh right along with all of you.
It's about her being 18 that I care about!!! She is STILL A TEENAGER. That's 4 years older than my granddaughter who still has to be reminded to change her underwear and brush her teeth for goodness sake!!! And if someone doesn't "get" that, then I have nothing left to say (for now;) 
JMO | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/12/2008 7:31:06 PM |
At least once in her life, a woman needs an older man.
Hmmm ~ missed that in the Guide to Living a Full/Happy/Productive Life, but hey, maybe I need to read that manual again. 
~OT~ It's personal preference on some accounts, however, I'd be one pizzed off 44 year old Mother if my son wanted to marry someone 4 years younger than I am. I've been on this planet long enough to know ~ mature or not, that is a bad combination. It may be "love" today, but down the road, it'll be: "Where did my youth go?" "When did he get sooooo old?" "Why didn't I date or go to college?" "What am I going to do now?" I feel sorry for him as well. "What happened, Honey? You didn't think I was going to stay 40 forever did you???" Good grief.  | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/13/2008 8:44:42 AM |
(Msg 419) It's about her being 18 that I care about!!! She is STILL A TEENAGER.
And what teenager, specifically an 18 year old girl, is going to do something she doesn't want to do? Obviously if she is marryng an 40 year old guy she doesn't give a damn what anyone says or thinks so why would anyone believe the 40 year old is "coercing " her? .
SHE could eventually support HER OWN SELF and her child by going to college after the baby is born like millions of other women have done before her and will continue to do long after we're all dead and gone.
And which situation would offer a better opportunity for her to continue her education; being married to an 18 year old guy who is struggling financially while maintaining a typical 18 year old lifestyle or being married to a 40 year old who is financially stable and has a more "quiet" lifestyle?
Unless the 40 year old is a bum or drug addict he can offer her a life far superior to one offered by the average 18 year old.
(Msg 420) It may be "love" today, but down the road, it'll be: "Where did my youth go?" "When did he get sooooo old?" "Why didn't I date or go to college?" "What am I going to do now?"
Again, she has a far better opportunity to continue her education if there is financial stability. As for ""Where did my youth go?" what, exactly, is she going to miss? Drunken brawls in cheap, sleazy bars? Guys 18 and 20 and 22 looking for one night stands?
In five years she will have probably done more than anyone of comparable age. What couple, both being 18 at the time of marriage, have experienced anything but a rough life? Either they both worked for little wages or one returned to school meaning their income would be even less. What "extras" would they have enjoyed? What side of life would they have experienced?
As for "later down the road when the guy gets old" how long do relationships last today? There's no reason the 40 year old won't be in good shape ten years from now.
But let's assume the relationship ends after five years. She will be 23 and probably have a child. He'll be 45. If she had married an 18 year old guy which one would be more likely to maintain child support payments; a 23 year old or a 45 year old?
Regardless of how one views it she will live a better life and so will the child. If it was my daughter I wouldn't want her living in poverty, juggling a job while trying to increase her education, struggling to find and pay for babysitters......all due to the irrational belief an 18 year old would have more reverence for my daughter's sexual organs than a 40 year old would. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/13/2008 8:53:34 AM | She is 18 years old and the man is 40 years old. He is her father's age, pretty well. She must have wanted to leave her parent's home. Maybe she wanted someone to look after her, almost like a father figure!
Good luck to her! I like men, closer to my age, I'm not looking for a daddy! | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/13/2008 12:22:49 PM | maybe this guy is a very young looking 40 yo, or the 18 yo looks a lot older than her years. Maybe, in this case true love has conquered. Maybe, it will be a mistake and they both will learn from it eventually. Maybe, its just one of those things and time will only tell... maybe people should let them get on with it (as long as its concentual).... | |
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