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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/18/2008 1:41:55 AM | | what do i think?...i think all you puritanical, narrow-minded, conditioned/brainwashed, life-style facist mf's need to stop wasting your time on here making judgement calls on other people's lives....you're probably just jealous or suffering from cultural dogma overload.....the size of your little pea-brains would make me puke if i hadn't already realized a place of perspective high above your swelling cesspool of hystreria and sub-intellectual OMG comments......if the human race doesn't kill itself off first, the future will see you as the life experience-restrictive idiots you are....go stick your head in a hole (prererably your own) so it won't bother you as much.....thank you for your time....... | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/18/2008 7:16:35 AM | | Maybe she has "daddy issues". I would like some of that. Refer her to me. Seriously, I doubt it would work due to maturity and life experience differences. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/18/2008 10:14:15 AM | | can't control who you love. i think it just is what it is. and to judge them on a preconceived idea based on what society thinks a proper relationship should be is wrong. Within reason i mean. she's 18, and adult. she is fully aware of what she is getting herself into. so meh, no big deal. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/18/2008 11:10:36 AM | "First, the divorce stats you reference have plenty of young women who've married older men...... but then say you don't know any young women wanting older men. So......... (I would ask which answer it is....(plenty or none) but that would only conjur more meaningless debate). "
I don't them personally, but I know they exist. I only know of one personally and it was a big mistake on her part and she divorced him finally.
I still do not see what a 40 y/o man has to offer an 18 y/o girl. I think she is much better off with men her own age. JMO | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/18/2008 11:19:35 AM | Chelsea lou, I'll refer you to post 452, xdelray. If you don't get that the world (outside the US) isn't as closed-minded as the western world has become, well, you're entitled to your opinions, however antiquated those opinions may be. Go see what life is like in Costa Rica, for instance. Try Greece, and sale that bag of goods there if you can. People around the world have some semblance of right/wrong and age is just not a factor for them, nor is a 20 yr span of age innapropriate in a relationship.
Ask Harrison Ford, Robert Palmer, Tom Cruise, etc. ..... no wait.... ask their wives.... if the age barrier you hold so dearly is actually a hinderance to their having a successful relationship. You would surely find your presumptions to be outdated and void of any factual basis.
And based on the divorce rates of late, it isn't looking good for the 'mainstreamers' of life who hold onto those old, distant virtues. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/18/2008 12:45:12 PM | I was younger, but the age gap was six years less. I ended up with two kids whom I love very much and dont regret, but he was the worst thing I ever did to myself.
If she's making a good decision, then there is even more luck and less judgement in it than when more experienced worldly wise people get married... and his motives are not looking good either.
If she's made a mistake then I really hope she works it out before they ends up with kids who'll bear the cost of her mistake with her. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/18/2008 12:52:33 PM | I've been "involved" with women as many as 28 years younger, and as close as a couple of years to my age. While it's more likely that I'll find a woman, who is physically attractive to me in her 30s than in her 50s, there is nothing more beautiful than a mature woman, who is physically attractive.
My view of what goes into the "love equation" is that it's "sexual desire/sexual fulfillment" + "friendship" = love. In any given relationship, those components vary, and have greater or lesser importance. With a wide age gap the "friendship" part is different than it would be with a peer, and the young women who crave an older man, usually are looking for the approval and guidance of a "father figure". So what? That can be as mutually beneficial and satisfying as a more traditional friendship.
The only "caution" that I'd add, based on my experience, is that the older man has to view it as being "for a time", and have her interests enough in his heart, that he wants to see her grow and prosper, and is prepared for the time that she will need to move on.
Frankly, the serious relationships that I have had with much younger women have all ended well, and in 2 of them, they stay in touch, asking advice or seeking approval, long past the time that "romance" ended. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/18/2008 1:26:49 PM | Chelsea lou, I'll refer you to post 452, xdelray. If you don't get that the world (outside the US) isn't as closed-minded as the western world has become, well, you're entitled to your opinions, however antiquated those opinions may be. Go see what life is like in Costa Rica, for instance. Try Greece, and sale that bag of goods there if you can. People around the world have some semblance of right/wrong and age is just not a factor for them, nor is a 20 yr span of age innapropriate in a relationship.
Ask Harrison Ford, Robert Palmer, Tom Cruise, etc. ..... no wait.... ask their wives....
Or she could ask me, someone who isn't dating a multi-media-man, multi-millionaire, multi-many-things person. Age matters to some of us and for very good reasons. Not shallow reasons, reasons that come with tried/true experience. It may not matter to some at the time they "fall in love" but with divorce rates at 51%, it's highly unlikely that 49% of these marriages that survive are soley comprised of vast-age-different couples. I guess the argument could be made that since 51% are likely to fail anyway, go for it. OK, I'd agree with that. I still wouldn't do it myself ~ him 22 me 44 or him 66 and me 44. That just makes my skin crawl on both accounts.  | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/18/2008 1:41:42 PM | VGE,
Or she could ask me, someone who isn't dating a multi-media-man, multi-millionaire, multi-many-things person. Age matters to some of us and for very good reasons. Not shallow reasons, reasons that come with tried/true experience
I'll add to that list George Clooney..The only reason I use those couples as reference are because they're the most notable, the people we ALL know of.
SO, your thoughts are that money is the defining factor, and therefore, ok? Most of the wives/GF's of those celebrities are well endowed with money already; i.e.; they're already actresses/models. So, it isn't like the money is much of an issue.
And my point regarding the divorce rate had no bearing on age, per se, except that the mainstreamers... those who preach how we should only find love within a few years of our own,-have not got the stats to show evidence of success. IOW's, the stats for divorce are largely based on conventional marriages, not those with vastly different ages. IF you were to calculate the stats for marriages of only those vastly different age gaps, my premonitions are that a greater number of those are solid relationships and enjoy better percentages of lasting relationships. Just my observations.
my last 2 GF's, each of 1.5 yrs time length, are still under the age of 30, and I've been single 2 yrs. I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm opposed to dating/marrying someone my age, but the women who would fit the bill are few and far between. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/18/2008 3:23:52 PM | IOW's, the stats for divorce are largely based on conventional marriages, not those with vastly different ages. IF you were to calculate the stats for marriages of only those vastly different age gaps, my premonitions are that a greater number of those are solid relationships and enjoy better percentages of lasting relationships. Just my observations.
And my prediction would be just the opposite. Women seem to change drastically between the ages of 30-40 and men seem to drastically change between 40-50. Hence, in this instance, the young lady of this topic, will be a drastically different human being by age 30 and he'll be old, like we are.  Like it or not ~ that's a fact.
I'm not certain how you gained a perspective that I was speaking of money, I certainly was not. I'm quite well aware that those people all married their peers financially. Well, except Clooney ~ he's not married, he was for a mere three years (back in 1984) to a much younger model, they divorced. 
my last 2 GF's, each of 1.5 yrs time length, are still under the age of 30, and I've been single 2 yrs. I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm opposed to dating/marrying someone my age, but the women who would fit the bill are few and far between.
Well, that's wonderful. I personally don't consider 1 1/2 years very long term, but hey, we all view our relationships as we choose. My former of many years was 9 years younger ~ there were no issues, BUT, I wasn't 40 yet. Today, I'm very aware of time-zones and relationships.  In addition, I couldn't agree more, the men who are age-appropriate for me (-4 or +4 years) possess the traits I find valuable, are indeed, rare ~~~ but soooo worth the wait and I so won't settle. Happy posting. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/18/2008 3:29:09 PM | | It's hard to tell. Back in Czech Republic where come from, a relatively well known actress married a director she used to work with, she was 18, he was 68 and it lasted till he died, they had a baby and all and were very happy. I cannot picture it, but each to their own! Personally i prefer men that are sort of on the roughly same page as me. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/18/2008 4:41:53 PM | manerider:
First of all , the older man and young woman relationship is out dated, now that women have options. Please don't throw Hollywood at me, besides all of the relationsips you mentioned are relatively new. Try Paul Newman or Tom Hanks, or better still poor Paul McCartney. As for your try Greece comment, I lived there for 3 years, just outside of Athens. My age 14-17 and it was disgusting those old goats coming on to my sister and I, she was a little older. One guy actually exposed himself to us, my father spent the entire night trying to find that loser. Now don't get me wrong I loved Greece, after I learned how to avoid the old goats. The good times I had were with other teenagers!!
All I have to say now is a 20 year age span is inappropriate for ME! | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/18/2008 4:55:58 PM | This reminds me of the 80 year old man who went out and married a 20 year old girl . Their first night in bed , she felt old age creeping up on her .  | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/18/2008 5:33:23 PM | | This also reminds me of this guy who came home to his apartment only to see his girlfriend packing her things and getting ready to leave him . He said , hey , what's going on here ? Where are you going ? She replied , I'm leaving you . I heard all about you . There's a rumor going around saying that you are a pedophile ! Pedophile , he replied ! That's an awfully big word coming from a nine year old ! | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/18/2008 7:36:58 PM | "Will she not miss the oppurtunity of Post Secondary when she becomes older. Will she not feel that she missed out on the horrible dating sceen of your late teens and early 20's."
What makes you think that those things were available to her? Maybe the guy provides financial security and safety. You don't know her situation. She may be giving up a wonderful career in the chicken plant to marry someone who can provide her a home and education. And if you think that is horrible, go work in a chicken plant.
Too many people on this site live in Utopia. It ain't milk and honey for everyone. Whole bunches are fighting for their lives everyday. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/18/2008 8:04:44 PM | | ^^^So what are you saying? I don't want to get in trouble again by putting words in someones mouth. BTW I worked in a chicken plant...pretty smelly, but I'd still rather go home to a young man's arms at nite. Financial security and safety, I'd still rather go home to a young man's arms at nite. But thats just me... | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/18/2008 8:38:11 PM | I am 70 and I see 2 ladies... One is 50 and one is 48... we get along fine, but the problem I have encountered is..... WE CAN"T RELATE!!!!! I also saw a lady who is 68... We laughed, joked, had a wonderful time as we could talk about Hopalong, Roy, Gene, the Shadow, Etc.... She even knew what a DIPPY EGG is.... And fixed me a great one too... Sadly the relationship has quited down due to 1838 miles between Florida and Montana ( If anybody knows a pretty NATIVE AMERICAN PRINCESS.... Call me!!! )... Really I don't think I could hndle a 40 year old!!!! Bob  | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/19/2008 3:19:17 AM |
First of all , the older man and young woman relationship is out dated, now that women have options.
I'd think that marrying whomever she wants, never mind what a lot of nosy strangers think, is among those options.
All I have to say now is a 20 year age span is inappropriate for ME!
Then, YOU don't do it. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/19/2008 7:38:03 AM | One more thing VGE
I personally don't consider 1 1/2 years very long term, but hey, we all view our relationships as we choose. My former of many years was 9 years younger ~ there were no issues, BUT, I wasn't 40 yet. Today, I'm very aware of time-zones and relationships. In addition, I couldn't agree more, the men who are age-appropriate for me (-4 or +4 years) possess the traits I find valuable, are indeed, rare ~~~
Im uncertain if the 9 yr relationship you had involved marriage or not, but if not, that's an awful long time to consider marriage. I would think within 1-1.5 yrs, one would have enough knowledge of another person to know if marriage was right, which is basically why I ended my relationships at that time. Some people are seeking indefinate LTR's. I'm not, so after a yr and a half, if it wasn't everything I sought, or if problems were incured, well, that's the point at which I came to the realization that it just didnt' work. Age really wasn't a factor, but rather, personality/characteristics that developed over time, the same characteristics that can be applied to anyone of any age. And furthermore, I"m unclear how someones traits are so well defined to rest squarely within a +-4 yr time frame. I fail to agree that age is such a determinant. It rest solely on the individual and people can exude differing levels of character at every age on the continuum . Some people seem to view LTR's differently, and if Im with someone over a year, it's generally time to consider marriage. Otherwise, it becomes a protracted dating experience, and after 2 yrs, either 2 people are ready to tie the knot, or decide to move on. To me, anything over that conjurs thoughts of committment phobe; i.e; why not just get married? I wouldn't think it would take 9 yrs to decide, if in fact you were not married. That's just my take, and I thought I'd clarify.
(chelsea lou) First of all , the older man and young woman relationship is out dated Your point being, you're not capable of having such, which is fine by all. Outdated? Once again, check with other countries and sell that bag of goods there. Because your hardwired to think otherwise doesn't make a concept outdated.
All I have to say now is a 20 year age span is inappropriate for ME! So, you don't need to even consider such. Interestingly, though, does your age, now , place you in the "old goat" category you classified those older men in before? LOL
I rest my case. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/19/2008 7:50:00 AM | | I think if 2 people do have a lot in common then why not---- age is just a number I had an aunt she was 22 and married a guy who was late 50'2. they had a wonderful relationship, raised 3 children and when he died at the age of 88 she was heart broken. she never remarried and finally passed away to heart failure. It doesn't matter what any one thinks because it is there life to decide what is too old or too young. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/19/2008 9:51:35 AM | "place you in the "old goat" category you classified those older men in before? LOL "
It wasn't their age it was their actions. I don't come on to young boys.
Yet another feeble attempt to slam me. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/19/2008 11:15:57 AM | | I COULD CARE LESS THE AGE DIFFERENCE ME PERSONALY CANNOT DATE A GUY THAT COULD BE MY FATHER , BUT THIS THREAD HAS MADE ME A LITTLE CURIOUS I WANT TO KNOW THE GIRLS BACKGROUND | |
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